gutties (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2023-09-15 12:01 pm
gutties) wrote in bakerstreet2023-09-15 12:01 pm
1. Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a motherfucker and that motherfucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwich.
2. He tried to fight me not realizing that I'm an Avenger. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
3. by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. thor just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
4. I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
5. I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
2. He tried to fight me not realizing that I'm an Avenger. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
3. by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. thor just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
4. I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
5. I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Less eventful.
Sorry I couldn't be there. Hope the damage wasn't too bad.
Sorry I couldn't be there. Hope the damage wasn't too bad.
1. In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
2. Stop texting me.
3. So why exactly are your shoes in the freezer?
4. I just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!".
5. Or send your own (misfire) to him.
( still sort of voicetesting a bit ig. prefer to keep him from the first book/film but can slide him to whatever canon point for cast. 🍎 )
- 1． Whatever. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
2． You left your pants again. For the fourth time in a row. How can you walk home without pants??
3． I smell like cotton candy and shame.
4． If you don't end up in jail tomorrow morning then I'll buy you McDonald's. Motivation.
5． ( text him! )
This sounds really judgmental. Are you always aware of where your pants are?
[ bio + potential tw. open to assumed cr and misfires. ]
1) We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
2) You and I have very different definitions of fun.
3) Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
4) I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in Oprah magazine.
5) [ Text Janet. ]
1) We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
2) You and I have very different definitions of fun.
3) Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
4) I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in Oprah magazine.
5) [ Text Janet. ]
Carter Ghazikhanian| Marvel 616 (adult au) | OTA
extrasensory_problems
2023-09-15 04:03 pm (UTC)(link)
1.) They have one of those claws machines here... with a dildo in it...
2.) Is it just me or do a lot of the things from Ikea sound like sex positions?
3.) How do you say 'please rail me' in emoji?
4.) Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class.
5.) Text him
2.) Is it just me or do a lot of the things from Ikea sound like sex positions?
3.) How do you say 'please rail me' in emoji?
4.) Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class.
5.) Text him
Did you manage to pull it out? Wow, that sounded wrong, but did you?
ooc: side note, I will tag on our other big thread after work today
extrasensory_problems
- 2023-09-15 21:09 (UTC) - Expand1. you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
2. The National Anthem was playing so I had to have a beer. In honour of my country, and Steve's ass.
3. Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
4. Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, and no, it wasn’t Rocket.
5. There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
6. Text him! Cross-canon, missfires, assumed cr all good!
.1 ► It was in the form of a swarm of baby birds, so no I wasn't prepared for that.
.2 ► The last time he asked me my type he threw me through a wall, more or less.
.3 ► ( soc-media au ) It's weird, but getting free stuff for my dog is okay I guess.
.4 ► It's not normal. Every time I bring you up people either threaten to kill me or burst into tears.
.5 ► Honestly I think if you made a shrine it would be creepy.
.6 ► Why is there blood all over the kitchen area?
.7 ► ( Text him, misfire him, etc. OTA — crosscanon/mediums/ocs, assumed cr, aus, canon-divergences, etc. pm if u want but i'll vibe with most things. )
1. Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pictures of it?
2. Just writing to thank you for not dying. I love you.
3. I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
4. text her. ( tentatively voicetesting. )
1.) The fact that I fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night.
2.) Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibrator charger.
3.) Have you ever had a smell jog a memory for you?
4.) Fyi when you flopped into bed you were covered in blood and when I asked about it you only said "it's not MY blood" before you passed out. You owe me new sheets.
5.) Text her
2.) Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibrator charger.
3.) Have you ever had a smell jog a memory for you?
4.) Fyi when you flopped into bed you were covered in blood and when I asked about it you only said "it's not MY blood" before you passed out. You owe me new sheets.
5.) Text her
1. Apparently there's an Avengers lookalike contest next door. What do you think?
2. Why wouldn't I know all the words to Party in the USA?
3. Wrong number, but I'm sorry to hear that about your partner. You deserve better.
4. She just came in, drunkenly shoved $6 in my shirt pocket, and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
5. So I don't think the cat is Loki, which means it needs a name.
6. Hey, have you seen black window?
Brackish window
Blade widow
Have you seen Nat?
7. Text him!
2. Why wouldn't I know all the words to Party in the USA?
3. Wrong number, but I'm sorry to hear that about your partner. You deserve better.
4. She just came in, drunkenly shoved $6 in my shirt pocket, and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
5. So I don't think the cat is Loki, which means it needs a name.
6. Hey, have you seen black window?
Brackish window
Blade widow
Have you seen Nat?
7. Text him!
1. When you have the night off, and still get hit because someone doesn't like your choice on the jukebox.
2. hi. three am, tex from me. no i am drunk not. but you be heere sholud so i can tthit on you.
3. Fuck. The world is spinning and I'm not sure why.
4. I ordered Chinese for dinner tonight, if you want some this is your invite.
5. I'm not sure how many times I had my ass grabbed last night. That gay club was more than I expected.
2. hi. three am, tex from me. no i am drunk not. but you be heere sholud so i can tthit on you.
3. Fuck. The world is spinning and I'm not sure why.
4. I ordered Chinese for dinner tonight, if you want some this is your invite.
5. I'm not sure how many times I had my ass grabbed last night. That gay club was more than I expected.
1. Alfred used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "work colleague" was doing.
2. Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
3. Please come collect your inebriated significant other.
4. What the hell did you do last night?
5. Or text him.
Now do you think that's because Alfred is too much of a gentleman to say 'fuck buddy' or because he loves mocking you?
I have to tag La's Bruce. It's a rule. I've heard too much good.
her_own_rules
- 2023-09-16 20:39 (UTC) - Expand1. i have 250 contacts, there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell.
2. by the way, thank you for feeding me fries when i was sitting on the floor.
3. life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
4. i did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3am this morning.
5. [ or text him. ]
1.) It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
2.) I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher.
3.) No. Just no.
4.) Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
5.) Text him
2.) I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher.
3.) No. Just no.
4.) Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
5.) Text him
awww dpnt be mean to yourself
you're not naive!
[The shade is mostly professionally motivated, and not entirely serious.]
you're not naive!
[The shade is mostly professionally motivated, and not entirely serious.]
2 and also I didn't think anyone knew that series existed
fire_starter
- 2023-09-16 02:22 (UTC) - ExpandHahaha oh yeah, I own all the old issues and the relaunch ones.
captain_bitterness
- 2023-09-16 02:31 (UTC) - Expand[tl,dr: detective whose significant other/co-worker was a dirty cop and now she's out for revenge -- bringing her back after a super-long rp break, so appreciate literally anyone who wants to hang out with her. misfires and/or assumed cr are also cool.]
001) Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
002) I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish.
003) I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
004) Text Grace -- open to assumed CR / misfires / whatever else!
001) Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
002) I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish.
003) I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
004) Text Grace -- open to assumed CR / misfires / whatever else!
For the love of everything beautiful, do NOT sledgehammer down my wall! The asbestos inside was laid in BY HAND and it is very good at making the building fireproof. Do NOT open that wall, sledgehammer or no!
1. I only kidnapped one of them. chill
2. So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
3. You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
4. I’m pregaming shopping with Dad. What’s up?
5. yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
6. You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
7. Text her (Misfires, CCR, anything is all welcome)
2. So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
3. You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
4. I’m pregaming shopping with Dad. What’s up?
5. yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
6. You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
7. Text her (Misfires, CCR, anything is all welcome)
Is this you asking to spar? You know I'm a master swordsman, right?
i. [Read 1:47 AM]
ii. Wandering all the day and night long, full as a tick, drawing saguaro, birds, and coyote. You know, life really ain't all that bad.
iii. Saying 'I'll steal you' when I suggest doing a job together ain't what I had in mind. And I ain't sweet, neither. Would you quit with that?
iv. Making me sit overnight in lockup won't teach me any kind of lesson. I am, in fact, incapable of learning lessons.
v. (text him.)
ii. Wandering all the day and night long, full as a tick, drawing saguaro, birds, and coyote. You know, life really ain't all that bad.
iii. Saying 'I'll steal you' when I suggest doing a job together ain't what I had in mind. And I ain't sweet, neither. Would you quit with that?
iv. Making me sit overnight in lockup won't teach me any kind of lesson. I am, in fact, incapable of learning lessons.
v. (text him.)
1- u can pay me in ice cream
2- why would i make a weapon i can't use?
3- sounds like a you problem
4- do i have to?
5- it's not like i'll die that easily so??
6- or text him
You don't have to, but you might find the alternative to be far worse.
1. About 6 shots in and he was automatically my type.
2. You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
3. I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, you know, by the way.
4. You're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
5. (or send whatever you want; I'm not your boss.)
2. You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
3. I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, you know, by the way.
4. You're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
5. (or send whatever you want; I'm not your boss.)
1. you said you were fine, you were in the recovery position.
2. i can't leave, i'm the designated bacon-maker.
3. where did this ring come from? did we get married last night?
4. they asked me my level of pain and i told them i called my ex 6 times.
5. stop eating out of the trash.
6. [ or text him. ]
[ It says a lot that Diluc can’t even tell if Blade is drunker than a skunk right now or 100% sober because that is definitely something a normal drunk person would say, but Blade is not a normal person. ]
Whose designated bacon-maker now?
Whose designated bacon-maker now?
1. I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching the original Halloween. My Friday is going super.
2. I think one of my worst dates was when I got food poisoning, but pretended I was fine and ended up riding this mechanical bull to impress him and get some information I needed. It was a rough night all around.
3. The security deposit is never worth it in my line of work. I will never ever get it back. At least this way I can always redecorate however I want.
4. Like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples if I asked.
5. I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
2. I think one of my worst dates was when I got food poisoning, but pretended I was fine and ended up riding this mechanical bull to impress him and get some information I needed. It was a rough night all around.
3. The security deposit is never worth it in my line of work. I will never ever get it back. At least this way I can always redecorate however I want.
4. Like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples if I asked.
5. I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
1.) Why are there forks in my wall?
2.) Anyone who takes a plate of chicken nuggets away from us is not to be trusted or slept with.
3.) He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly.
4.) He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reins me in. Which is to say, I could be here for a while.
5.) This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
2.) Anyone who takes a plate of chicken nuggets away from us is not to be trusted or slept with.
3.) He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly.
4.) He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reins me in. Which is to say, I could be here for a while.
5.) This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Last night while drunk, Eddie decided to demonstrate his latest new talent. I am at the hardware store purchasing spackle and interior paint, back soon.
Edited (number heading) 2023-09-15 17:15 (UTC)
1. Percocet with coffee is not considered a balanced breakfast.
2. Any chance you can wingman/wingwoman for me again tonight? Last night didn't pan out the way we expected.
3. There's a lot of incriminating evidence in this notebook. Would be a shame if it fell into the wrong hands.
4. Send me a picture of something you can ride. Go.
5. Miss me? Or are ya too many beers into a good night?
6. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you find great enjoyment in torturing me.
7. (Text her! Misfires, assumed CR, etc. etc. encouraged.)
Edited 2023-09-15 16:15 (UTC)
1. The weather here is the kind that makes you want to lie naked in a dark room.
2. How the fuck am I supposed to make breakfast with Spaghettios and mustard?
3. If I sang I'm On A Boat at karaoke night would you join me?
4. Ice cream and tacos are an important aspect of any friendship.
5. I can't believe you gave me a high five with your hand covered in blood.
6. We're in the kiddie pool eating marshmallows and drinking wine. Please dress casually.
7. Text him!
2. How the fuck am I supposed to make breakfast with Spaghettios and mustard?
3. If I sang I'm On A Boat at karaoke night would you join me?
4. Ice cream and tacos are an important aspect of any friendship.
5. I can't believe you gave me a high five with your hand covered in blood.
6. We're in the kiddie pool eating marshmallows and drinking wine. Please dress casually.
7. Text him!
You let Usopp shop, didn't you?
2 also medium divides are for people who aren't PIRATES
bigdenergy
- 2023-09-15 17:38 (UTC) - Expand
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