ALL THE PEOPLE SHOUT! (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wotcher) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2024-08-16 11:57 am
wotcher) wrote in bakerstreet2024-08-16 11:57 am
Entry tags:
1. I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
2. Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
3. Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick.
4. Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me
5. [text him!]
2. Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
3. Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick.
4. Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me
5. [text him!]
1. I need you to think about this very carefully, the universe depends on it. Where are my pants?
2. You started citing regulation while you were unzipping my fly so I'm not sure if it was supposed to be positive reinforcement or a warning.
3. Hey. Where did the dog come from? Actually, I'll ask it directly. Did you get this dog from Alfa 177? Careful with your answer, because I can see the horn and antennae from twenty yards.
4. nooooooooooo
5. Why, and I can't reiterate this enough, why are there seventeen giant bouncy balls down in engineering and why are they humming?
6. [ text him! prefs here for anything that might turn serious later. ]
2. You started citing regulation while you were unzipping my fly so I'm not sure if it was supposed to be positive reinforcement or a warning.
3. Hey. Where did the dog come from? Actually, I'll ask it directly. Did you get this dog from Alfa 177? Careful with your answer, because I can see the horn and antennae from twenty yards.
4. nooooooooooo
5. Why, and I can't reiterate this enough, why are there seventeen giant bouncy balls down in engineering and why are they humming?
6. [ text him! prefs here for anything that might turn serious later. ]
Inter-organisational experiment. Nothing to worry about.
Wait, seventeen? You're sure? Not a miscount?
Wait, seventeen? You're sure? Not a miscount?
3. wouldn't be the first time her chupacabra was mistaken for another animal
scarlet_devil
- 2024-08-16 18:26 (UTC) - Expandwe love a friday night 'fuck it we ball' in this house
negativechill
- 2024-08-17 03:01 (UTC) - Expand[tl,dr: detective whose significant other/co-worker was a dirty cop and now she's out for revenge -- bringing her back after a super-long rp break, so appreciate literally anyone who wants to hang out with her. misfires and/or assumed cr are also cool.]
001) When it comes to Mario Kart, I draw the line. I'm sorry but I just can't let you beat me at Mario Kart.
002) The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
003) Okay, just a casual question: how did I manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
004) Text Grace -- open to assumed CR / misfires / whatever else!
001) When it comes to Mario Kart, I draw the line. I'm sorry but I just can't let you beat me at Mario Kart.
002) The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
003) Okay, just a casual question: how did I manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
004) Text Grace -- open to assumed CR / misfires / whatever else!
a. I told that fella I wanted whiskey twice, and he kept givin me moonshine. If that boy had an idea, it'd die of loneliness.
b. Now Sugar, I was kind enough to loan ya my car to carry it to the store, but NOT carry it around town. If you ain't back in 30 minutes, I'm gonna jerk you bald!!
c. Nothin much, Sugar. This night's slower than a herd of turtles. Is this your way of wantin to be my entertainment tonight?
d. I... I don't know if I oughta go out tonight. I feel like I've done got chewed up and spit out....
e. That boy across from me is gussied up pretty nice. Even I would let him butter my biscuits.
f. [text her] // for shipping m/f and 21+
Edited 2024-08-16 16:08 (UTC)
Is it usual on Earth for potential partners to add butter to your biscuits as part of courtship?
[OOC: Bio is on his journal, assumed cr and misfires are fine.]
A. Screw Disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unattractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms.
B. There are three pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
C. I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
D. Text him instead.
A. Screw Disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unattractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms.
B. There are three pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
C. I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
D. Text him instead.
There's something about a man in a uniform... I wouldn't recommend trying to date one though.
( hangintherekitten.jpg )
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
1.
when you look through your clothes and realize you have more leather jackets than pairs of jeans somehow2.
so do we choose our emotions or do they just happen to us and we react to them?3.
I thought reloading my own ammo would save some cash but I feel like I'm spending more money somehow
AND getting gunpowder everywhere4.
is it more impressive to win all the time or to finally win after never winning?5.
🐸🙌As a Detroit Tigers fan, totally the latter. Why, did the Jets screw something else up?
[Grace talks about sports the way some people flirt.]
[Grace talks about sports the way some people flirt.]
1. It's official drugs can't kill me
2. Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
3. If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
4. I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
5. text him
2. Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
3. If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
4. I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
5. text him
1. Halmarut was lit on fire and Emmerololth went to gaol last night. They were unrelated incidents though.
2. There is a man in a thong with a wooden axe having battles in the street. Why do I ever bother visiting Ul'dah?
3. If you had to hazard a guess, would you say that as a species, miqo'te are more or less flammable than hyurs?
4. You told me I was beautiful then asked if you could smell me. There are many ways I could have humiliated you, but I chose not to. It was a rare moment of mercy from me. Do not let it happen again.
5. Ah. Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
6. ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
7. I believe there's an Allagan tomestone somewhere warning people about me based on the four adventurers who separately approached me last night and called me insane.
8. I will style my Lord Zenos's hair tonight as he sleeps. I am accepting suggestions.
9. Text him
2. There is a man in a thong with a wooden axe having battles in the street. Why do I ever bother visiting Ul'dah?
3. If you had to hazard a guess, would you say that as a species, miqo'te are more or less flammable than hyurs?
4. You told me I was beautiful then asked if you could smell me. There are many ways I could have humiliated you, but I chose not to. It was a rare moment of mercy from me. Do not let it happen again.
5. Ah. Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
6. ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
7. I believe there's an Allagan tomestone somewhere warning people about me based on the four adventurers who separately approached me last night and called me insane.
8. I will style my Lord Zenos's hair tonight as he sleeps. I am accepting suggestions.
9. Text him
A: I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
B: Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
C: I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
D: can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
E: I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
F: [Choose Your Own Adventure and text Becca! Misfires, crosscanon, assumed CR all welcome. Info on her journal.]
B: Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
C: I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
D: can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
E: I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
F: [Choose Your Own Adventure and text Becca! Misfires, crosscanon, assumed CR all welcome. Info on her journal.]
Edited 2024-08-16 16:14 (UTC)
Oh my god Becca. You just became the adult. How does it feel?! What are you gonna do next?!?!?!
Do the three of us together make one functional adult?!
clairebearn
- 2024-08-16 18:33 (UTC) - Expandi. Everything hurts and I wanna get fucked up please
ii. He asked what I did at work yesterday and when I told him he threw up, so no the date did not go well.
iii. Why do assholes gotta try and drug me like I ain't already a sure thing? It's so fuckin annoying
iv. It's not fair, why don't he want me? Everybody wants me!
v. Text him!
ii. He asked what I did at work yesterday and when I told him he threw up, so no the date did not go well.
iii. Why do assholes gotta try and drug me like I ain't already a sure thing? It's so fuckin annoying
iv. It's not fair, why don't he want me? Everybody wants me!
v. Text him!
1. You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
2. If he gets me coffee, cold or no, I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
3. I have allotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
4. I just learned that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
5. YOU'RE A FUCKING ADULT. DON'T TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
6. Misfire/Text her!
2. If he gets me coffee, cold or no, I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
3. I have allotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
4. I just learned that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
5. YOU'RE A FUCKING ADULT. DON'T TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
6. Misfire/Text her!
i. I'm so hungover I had to excuse myself to throw up because somebody submitted a concept that was too brightly coloured for me to handle.
ii. I remember Azem saying he had a great idea and everything gets a little hazy after that.
iii. We went to Elpis so I had to keep looking at his stupid beautiful face the whole time it was impossible
iv. Where are my shoes?
v. Text him!
ii. I remember Azem saying he had a great idea and everything gets a little hazy after that.
iii. We went to Elpis so I had to keep looking at his stupid beautiful face the whole time it was impossible
iv. Where are my shoes?
v. Text him!
In the wash, they got puke on them.
1. You kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen."
2. As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys.
3. A guy on the street just growled at me and said "damnnnn." Sometimes it scares me how attractive I am.
4. If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out.
5. im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
6 (text him!)
2. As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys.
3. A guy on the street just growled at me and said "damnnnn." Sometimes it scares me how attractive I am.
4. If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out.
5. im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
6 (text him!)
Yeah, he'll do that. A real softie, that one. You should be grateful: he's usually kind of a snob about it actually
1. alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
2. Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
3. Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
4. last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
5. I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
6. I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
7. I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
8. I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
9. in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
10. Text him!
2. Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
3. Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
4. last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
5. I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
6. I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
7. I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
8. I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
9. in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
10. Text him!
i. I think my nose is broken
ii. You said you were tired of me being the only one who got to fight gods and I haven't seen you since, are you okay???
iii. Why did I buy all this paint last night?
iv. I didn't know how to handle them throwing me a party so I just kept drinking and now I'm being told by like 6 people that last night was so great and I don't know what they mean help.
v. Text him!
ii. You said you were tired of me being the only one who got to fight gods and I haven't seen you since, are you okay???
iii. Why did I buy all this paint last night?
iv. I didn't know how to handle them throwing me a party so I just kept drinking and now I'm being told by like 6 people that last night was so great and I don't know what they mean help.
v. Text him!
i believe your exact words before i lost track of you were, "i'm going to be a mural!"
1) is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
2) OK, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants.
3) All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face.
4) I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty.
5) No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
6) [Uno Reverse! Text Claire. Wrong numbers, crosscanon and assumed CR all welcome.]
2) OK, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants.
3) All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face.
4) I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty.
5) No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
6) [Uno Reverse! Text Claire. Wrong numbers, crosscanon and assumed CR all welcome.]
a ) He's been sending me letters from prison. They're surprisingly well written. He has a way with words.
b ) Levati dai coglioni.
c ) If he's rude to my bird or hurts him, I'll divorce him.
d ) Do me a favor and call an ambulance for me in 20 minutes.
b ) Levati dai coglioni.
c ) If he's rude to my bird or hurts him, I'll divorce him.
d ) Do me a favor and call an ambulance for me in 20 minutes.
I: Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
II: Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
III: I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
IV: wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
V: It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
VI: [Text Fetch! Still kinda voicetesting him. Modern AU for this. Misfires/assumed CR/crosscanon welcome.]
II: Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
III: I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
IV: wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
V: It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
VI: [Text Fetch! Still kinda voicetesting him. Modern AU for this. Misfires/assumed CR/crosscanon welcome.]
Edited 2024-08-16 16:18 (UTC)
You do say that a lot.
I'm never looking at your penis now. Just, like. On principle.
I'm never looking at your penis now. Just, like. On principle.
i.my grandparents have been married for 62 years. when i asked them what was their secret to such a long marriage, my grandmother said God is punishing her
ii.Silence of the Lambs is so relatable to me because, i too, also understand the importance of moisturizing
iii.i didn’t think I had much in common with squirrels until I saw one risk his life for a crouton.
iv. text him!
Edited 2024-08-16 16:20 (UTC)
( info. 1920's but with texting pref, can modernize or au upon request, though. )
[ 01 ] Although I can't remember what I did last night, judging from the state of my hair, I'll say I had a pretty good time.
[ 02 ] As a matter of fact, chérie, my New Year's resolution was to be more petty.
[ 03 ] He has my name on his bucket list, so I’m either getting laid or killed.
The exciting part is how I can't tell which one it'll be from looking at him.
[ 04 ] How can shame possibly still be a word in your vocabulary?
[ 05 ] Knowing me is like this, tesoro: actually very fun until I ruin your life. It will only be down hill from here.
[ 06 ] No, I can’t. I’m afraid I’m busy this decade.
[ 07 ] Tell me, what's the impolite response when a girl isn't answering your calls?
[ wildcard ]
1 - I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I had priorities.
2 - For the low, low price of shutting the fuck up, you can avoid getting punched in the throat!
3 - At this point, I would not mind being hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this night over with faster.
4 - Yeah, I realize it was a bad idea, thanks. Figured that out when I broke my collarbone
5 - woke up naked, spooning with a wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
6 - eric called me a sewer rat, so i stole his shoes and threw them in the sewer
2 - For the low, low price of shutting the fuck up, you can avoid getting punched in the throat!
3 - At this point, I would not mind being hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this night over with faster.
4 - Yeah, I realize it was a bad idea, thanks. Figured that out when I broke my collarbone
5 - woke up naked, spooning with a wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
6 - eric called me a sewer rat, so i stole his shoes and threw them in the sewer
I might have considered taking this offer if it wasn't for the fact that you are far too short to even reach my throat. So I think I'll pass.
1. I was petting a fox and taking shots of vodka. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
2. That's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence.
3. Do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying, "I love you bro. So much," then passing back out?
4. We didn't even throw knives this time! It was just the carrot peeler.
5. New Orleans is fucking wild. These two guys just performed dueling banjos, except they were actually fighting with the banjos.
6. text her!
2. That's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence.
3. Do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying, "I love you bro. So much," then passing back out?
4. We didn't even throw knives this time! It was just the carrot peeler.
5. New Orleans is fucking wild. These two guys just performed dueling banjos, except they were actually fighting with the banjos.
6. text her!
1. I had to keep giving myself encouraging advice, such as "you know how a path works".
2. He's from Indiana. Of course he doesn't know what a g-spot is.
3. No idea. He's just kind of... standing there in the corner.
4. Sorry for punching you in the face last time. You startled me.
5. Did you have to draw it on me with permanent marker?
6. I just didn't expect you to be so naked...
7. Choose your own.
2. He's from Indiana. Of course he doesn't know what a g-spot is.
3. No idea. He's just kind of... standing there in the corner.
4. Sorry for punching you in the face last time. You startled me.
5. Did you have to draw it on me with permanent marker?
6. I just didn't expect you to be so naked...
7. Choose your own.
1. Did you just see the Batmobile?
2. i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
3. If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
4. Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
5. Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
6. Pick your own!
2. i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
3. If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
4. Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
5. Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
6. Pick your own!
1. Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
2. No.
3. When it comes to Mortal Kombat, I draw the line. I'm sorry but I just can't let you beat me at Mortal Kombat.
4. If you screw up my birthday by dying, I will kick your corpse.
5. Where are my shoes?
6. Text her!
2. No.
3. When it comes to Mortal Kombat, I draw the line. I'm sorry but I just can't let you beat me at Mortal Kombat.
4. If you screw up my birthday by dying, I will kick your corpse.
5. Where are my shoes?
6. Text her!
Page 1 of 10