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bakerstreet2024-08-16 11:57 am
wotcher) wrote in bakerstreet2024-08-16 11:57 am
Entry tags:
1. So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
2. why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
3. Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
4. text her/misfires+crosscanon cr welcome
2. why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
3. Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
4. text her/misfires+crosscanon cr welcome
1. I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
2. I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
3. I am not drinking that devil juice
4. text her/misfires+crosscanon cr welcome
2. I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
3. I am not drinking that devil juice
4. text her/misfires+crosscanon cr welcome
1. He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
2. I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and hit it face first.
3. btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
4. If I get anymore accidental texts I'm going to pour bleach in my eyes.
5. Text her!
2. I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and hit it face first.
3. btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
4. If I get anymore accidental texts I'm going to pour bleach in my eyes.
5. Text her!
a. My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past three days.
b. Well if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
c. I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
d. You were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "I can see your sparkle."
e. text him!
okay but you do sparkle when you laugh.
also i was definitely drunk.
also i was definitely drunk.
Edited 2024-08-17 00:58 (UTC)
1 - YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES.
2 - So, were they human bite marks at least?
3 - I don't want your ass. I want brunch.
4 - We're not tattooing ourselves today.
5 - You decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
6 - I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
7 - [Text him!]
2 - So, were they human bite marks at least?
3 - I don't want your ass. I want brunch.
4 - We're not tattooing ourselves today.
5 - You decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
6 - I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
7 - [Text him!]
Any night you don't get stabbed is a good night.
Edited (i knew i forgot something) 2024-08-17 04:47 (UTC)
1. I just walked into room and someone yelled “dibs!”
2. I woke up with two black Xs on my hands.
3. I’ve been in car accidents that left me less sore.
4. I’m eating my dinosaur nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
[ Or wild card! ]
2. I woke up with two black Xs on my hands.
3. I’ve been in car accidents that left me less sore.
4. I’m eating my dinosaur nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
[ Or wild card! ]
1. define 'illegal'. your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
2. just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
3. you were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
4. i am on a roof. i don't know which one, or why, or how, but i am on a roof and you should come get me.
5. oh my god i'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. i never want to leave.
2. just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
3. you were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
4. i am on a roof. i don't know which one, or why, or how, but i am on a roof and you should come get me.
5. oh my god i'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. i never want to leave.
"Contrary to or forbidden by criminal law."
My idea can be found in a dictionary. Yours?
My idea can be found in a dictionary. Yours?
1. Look I know I said your idea of hanging out and drinking in a blanket fort was stupid.
... But it was kinda more chill than I thought it would be.
2. Bad week but ain't letting this dress go to waste. Going out drinking. You in?
3. I remember elbowing someone in the gut with my gun barrel real good last night for sneaking up on me.
Not sure if it was you.
4. Just so we're clear: when I said I got your back it don't cover dumbass drunk moments
5. Not enough bad booze in the world to change my mind.
6. Do us both a favour and forget what I told you last night.
7. Taking turns doing shots and asking each other questions was such a bad idea.
8. [Wildcard, text her.]
... But it was kinda more chill than I thought it would be.
2. Bad week but ain't letting this dress go to waste. Going out drinking. You in?
3. I remember elbowing someone in the gut with my gun barrel real good last night for sneaking up on me.
Not sure if it was you.
4. Just so we're clear: when I said I got your back it don't cover dumbass drunk moments
5. Not enough bad booze in the world to change my mind.
6. Do us both a favour and forget what I told you last night.
7. Taking turns doing shots and asking each other questions was such a bad idea.
8. [Wildcard, text her.]
1. The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
2. Worst night to have a conscience, friend.
3. I know it bugs you when I don't shut up. Why do you think I do it?
4. Seducing me with poetry doesn't work when you make so many spelling mistakes.
5. So, tell me, how do you manage to get up in the morning knowing you have to be you for the rest of your life?
6. Text him — misfires and assumed CR ok.
2. Worst night to have a conscience, friend.
3. I know it bugs you when I don't shut up. Why do you think I do it?
4. Seducing me with poetry doesn't work when you make so many spelling mistakes.
5. So, tell me, how do you manage to get up in the morning knowing you have to be you for the rest of your life?
6. Text him — misfires and assumed CR ok.
1) I was using DRAGON'S BREATH ammo. What did you expect to happen?
2) I would be almost flattered if it weren't for APB afterwards
3) It'd be better if the blood splatters weren't so wide
4) it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
5) Wildcard! Bring your own texts. misfires, etc.
2) I would be almost flattered if it weren't for APB afterwards
3) It'd be better if the blood splatters weren't so wide
4) it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
5) Wildcard! Bring your own texts. misfires, etc.
1. Aye, well, to YOU he may be the father of machinistry and one of the most brilliant and forward-thinking industrial minds the star has ever known. To ME he's Steve from up the street.
2. Hello. Please name five things I need, as quickly as possible. This is an emergency. I will explain shortly.
3. No, unfortunately the battle continues apace. Far from breaking the tie in our quarrel, the smith lesbians have only complicated things further.
4. Why are there three knives embedded in the wall? These have perfectly good SHEATHS that will not RUIN their EDGE why are they EMBEDDED IN THE WALL.
5. ( text him! )
2. Hello. Please name five things I need, as quickly as possible. This is an emergency. I will explain shortly.
3. No, unfortunately the battle continues apace. Far from breaking the tie in our quarrel, the smith lesbians have only complicated things further.
4. Why are there three knives embedded in the wall? These have perfectly good SHEATHS that will not RUIN their EDGE why are they EMBEDDED IN THE WALL.
5. ( text him! )
➥ I. nothing i do is technically legal. but i've only been arrested twice i'll have you know
➥ II. so i'm gunna need a favor. and i need you to promise you won't be too angry with me
➥ III. didn't know gasoline could do that. ha! learn something new everyday don't ya?
➥ IV. yeah well when you deal with the kinds of people i do, you pick up a few things. for example? maybe don't push your luck with a woman who won't hesitate to throw a knife at your head
[Or, text him! Cross-canon, implied CR, or whatever else is absolutely fine. Nothing's off the table, go wild, it's the weekend, the world's yours.]
➥ II. so i'm gunna need a favor. and i need you to promise you won't be too angry with me
➥ III. didn't know gasoline could do that. ha! learn something new everyday don't ya?
➥ IV. yeah well when you deal with the kinds of people i do, you pick up a few things. for example? maybe don't push your luck with a woman who won't hesitate to throw a knife at your head
[Or, text him! Cross-canon, implied CR, or whatever else is absolutely fine. Nothing's off the table, go wild, it's the weekend, the world's yours.]
he would not be as casual about this in a serious thread BUT
lookwhatibought
- 2024-08-17 03:56 (UTC) - ExpandIT IS YOUR OYSTER we are having an oyster it does not matter enjoy the wild ride
nestingdevil
- 2024-08-17 05:23 (UTC) - Expand1. I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
2. So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
3. I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.
4. No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
01. He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
02. Stop texting me from phones in the Verizon store and pretending to be a GRU agent. It's confusing.
03. Can't respond to your text. Currently dead.
04. We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
05. Don't worry, it was only a little bit drugged.
02. Stop texting me from phones in the Verizon store and pretending to be a GRU agent. It's confusing.
03. Can't respond to your text. Currently dead.
04. We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
05. Don't worry, it was only a little bit drugged.
well hurry the $%&@ up and come back to life, i've been putting off the new season of bridgerton.
01. she told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
02. I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
03. Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
04. The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair.
05. I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
02. I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
03. Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
04. The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair.
05. I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
(modern AU, in which Flint is a sociology professor)
1. I'm stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off because his students are taking a test
2. He took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
3. Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and She-ra. I have no idea who they are and it doesn't upset me at all
4. also, I may or may not be wearing a cape right now. Hint: I am
5. [text Flint!]
misfires, crossovers, and assumed CRs are welcome
1. I'm stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off because his students are taking a test
2. He took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
3. Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and She-ra. I have no idea who they are and it doesn't upset me at all
4. also, I may or may not be wearing a cape right now. Hint: I am
5. [text Flint!]
misfires, crossovers, and assumed CRs are welcome
Edited 2024-08-16 23:15 (UTC)
a. He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
b. I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
c. I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. ps I'm naked.
d. lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
e. text her!
01. I'm sorry about the smoke. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
02. Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
03. I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
04. There are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body.
05. Interesting question: Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
02. Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
03. I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
04. There are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body.
05. Interesting question: Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my god
now that IS an interesting question
didn't think you had it in you
are you getting it on within the river?
or moving your corpses about?
no need to be shy
i'll need as many details as possible to make an informed decision
now that IS an interesting question
didn't think you had it in you
are you getting it on within the river?
or moving your corpses about?
no need to be shy
i'll need as many details as possible to make an informed decision
1: I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
2: Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
3: Emojis do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say.
4: sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
5: I am a 5'3" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
6: text him.
2: Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
3: Emojis do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say.
4: sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
5: I am a 5'3" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
6: text him.
1. I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
2. I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
3. Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
4. If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
5. text him!
2. I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
3. Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
4. If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
5. text him!
Is it your blood or someone else's? I need to know the level of concerned I should be
1. I have more aches than memories of last night.
2. You're never gonna guess who got kidnapped again...
3. I'm not arguing that it won't make a great pet. I'm just saying it won't be a legal one.
4. Brb buying Big Belly Burger so I can change the hours on their breakfast menu.
5. None of the clothing I woke up in is mine.
6. Text him!
2. You're never gonna guess who got kidnapped again...
3. I'm not arguing that it won't make a great pet. I'm just saying it won't be a legal one.
4. Brb buying Big Belly Burger so I can change the hours on their breakfast menu.
5. None of the clothing I woke up in is mine.
6. Text him!
late as heck but i can move to the new tfln or an overflow!
batprince
- 2024-08-24 04:02 (UTC) - Expand1 ) I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
2 ) I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
3 ) I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
or text her!
2 ) I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
3 ) I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
or text her!
( late to the party and only just now on season two, but we're binging it because apparently it goes down from here— )
1. Your dealer called me in tears. We talked for an hour until he felt better. Next time, clean up your own messes.
2. You and me? We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to each other, then we have sex like nothing ever happened. Forget the rules, did you?
3. Think I'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Funny, that.
4. I've now hooked up with his ex-boyfriend, his ex's ex-boyfriend, his ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently his ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling. Dedicated bastard, aren't I?
5. Get in, cunt. We're going out.
1. it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the elven body
2. so that wasnt chicken after all
3. drunk tastebuds have low standards.
4. there should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days
5. text him
Well that makes less sense than normal. What is that supposed to mean?
1.They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
2. I have a critically important question to ask. Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
3. The beer is more important than you right now.
4. Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawal for drugs rinse and repeat,
5. text him
2. I have a critically important question to ask. Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
3. The beer is more important than you right now.
4. Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawal for drugs rinse and repeat,
5. text him
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