you're not controlling your feelings, you're controlling what you do about it i'll keep using my bullshit as an example when i was a kid i'd get so fuckin mad and act out on it all the time i learned to walk it off, go count my breathing or something if i'm walking it off, i'm STILL mad as fuck, but i'm CHOOSING to do something besides break a lamp so i guess that way you're kind of directing, yeah but you're still choosing to do something it's not like sitting there going "i've decided not to be mad now" it's going "i'm going to do something that might help me be less mad, here's hoping it all works out"
right but you're CHOOSING to stop feeling that way and making it happen you're the one that actually stops making you feel mad so you're still making the decisions you're not really hoping in the way you described at all because you're actually trying to make yourself less mad during it
like you're making it seem like choices have to be a switch but you can gradually change you mind about something, can't you? which means you're changing how you're feeling
i'm choosing to try and stop feeling that way if i'm still mad after i have my time out, then i was choosing to not be mad but it didn't work out, i'm not choosing to keep being mad
okay so check it feelings are sparks firing off in your brain about whatever's happening around you like haven't you ever felt some way and you know you shouldn't. that's the logic part of your brain going "this is what's happening and what it would make sense to feel" and some other part of your brain is like "cool story but i'm listening to all the chemicals and shit the rest of our body made over here" and that part is usually louder
and yeah you can gradually change your mind but that's probably a bunch of little stuff that you're doing over time, or learning new stuff that changes your feelings, because your feelings aren't about the same thing anymore
i think you're overthinking it why are you thinking so much about it anyway
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bakerstreet2024-08-16 11:57 am
no subject
i'll keep using my bullshit as an example
when i was a kid i'd get so fuckin mad and act out on it all the time
i learned to walk it off, go count my breathing or something
if i'm walking it off, i'm STILL mad as fuck, but i'm CHOOSING to do something besides break a lamp
so i guess that way you're kind of directing, yeah
but you're still choosing to do something
it's not like sitting there going "i've decided not to be mad now"
it's going "i'm going to do something that might help me be less mad, here's hoping it all works out"
no subject
right but you're CHOOSING to stop feeling that way and making it happenyou're the one that actually stops making you feel mad so you're still making the decisions
you're not really hoping in the way you described at all because you're actually trying to make yourself less mad during itlike you're making it seem like choices have to be a switch but you can gradually change you mind about something, can't you? which means you're changing how you're feelingno subject
if i'm still mad after i have my time out, then i was choosing to not be mad but it didn't work out, i'm not choosing to keep being mad
okay so check it
feelings are sparks firing off in your brain about whatever's happening around you
like haven't you ever felt some way and you know you shouldn't. that's the logic part of your brain going "this is what's happening and what it would make sense to feel" and some other part of your brain is like "cool story but i'm listening to all the chemicals and shit the rest of our body made over here" and that part is usually louder
and yeah you can gradually change your mind but that's probably a bunch of little stuff that you're doing over time, or learning new stuff that changes your feelings, because your feelings aren't about the same thing anymore
i think you're overthinking it
why are you thinking so much about it anyway