laying in bed all day (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2024-08-09 12:10 am
f6f6f6) wrote in bakerstreet2024-08-09 12:10 am
Entry tags:
[ The novelisation just released and it's amazing so I'm pumped!! ]
1. I've ended up in a social interaction nightmare, please help
2. Art says I probably shouldn't text you but what does he know he's dead
3. I'm in the mood to rob a shitty rich person- any suggestions?
4. Completely hypothetical - if you WERE to play D&D, what class would you play?
5. I'm so touch starved, I got goosebumps when he grazed my hand with his
6. My boyfriend won't stop introducing me with the line "he's a bounty hunter and he almost incinerated me"
7. [Text him!]
1. I've ended up in a social interaction nightmare, please help
2. Art says I probably shouldn't text you but what does he know he's dead
3. I'm in the mood to rob a shitty rich person- any suggestions?
4. Completely hypothetical - if you WERE to play D&D, what class would you play?
5. I'm so touch starved, I got goosebumps when he grazed my hand with his
6. My boyfriend won't stop introducing me with the line "he's a bounty hunter and he almost incinerated me"
7. [Text him!]
Edited (title oops) 2024-08-09 04:12 (UTC)
sry i dropped the ball on everything else, life ran away a lil bit
selfcares
- 2024-08-09 12:19 (UTC) - Expand1. Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
2. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
3. Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. And by that, I mean scientific action. Go on, ask me about my readings.
4. I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
5. Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case… Do you know him?
6. I tried...failed.. Now I’m naked on the futon because clothes are hard.
7. Bring your own text!
1 ► Is soup... hydrating? Does soup hydrate you?
2 ► Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
3 ► Friend casually said they could never imagine me being in a relationship. Okay.
4 ► Just remember that there are elements of your personality you are totally unaware of that are immediately apparent to any stranger within five minutes of meeting you.
Yes. Soups provide both water and electrolytes. Animal-derived bone broths also provide collagen, which helps with tissue repair and joint health. There are many hydrating foods, honestly. Some more surprising than others.
1 ► Yeah this is my emotional support confusingly intimate friendship
2 ► Do you ever hook up w someone and you’re like oh nooooo my family would hate you
3 ► Look, am I the smartest guy in the room? No. The most successful? Definitely not. But am I the hardest worker here? Certainly not
4 ► Not to be lame but it's so comforting to remind yourself that no feeling is final. Instead of being like "wow I am sad, my life is sad," I can go "I felt sad today" and all of a sudden tomorrow can be anything
1 ► I should be able to expense my fetishwear to my small business.
2 ► Everybody wants to get to know you when you're in a little skirt.
3 ► Sometimes I can’t believe my life is real like. The most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on just made me a perfect steak dinner
4 ► The internet is funny because we invented a thing that could answer literally any question in the world and all it has done is make us stupider
1.) There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
2.) I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now.
3.) There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex.
4.) Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
5.) Text him or ask for a riddle
2.) I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now.
3.) There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex.
4.) Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
5.) Text him or ask for a riddle
1. IF YOU PUT TOMATO SAUCE ON THAT STEAK, SO HELP ME, I WILL CALL THE POLICE
2. I'm not built for diplomacy. Oh, sure, I know how to smile politely and say flattering things, but it's so incredibly boring. I've somehow wound up in a midnight meeting with the Emperor-Elect of Tarnash VII. Kill me. Kindly.
3. Look, I may be adventurous, but I would never have sex in my kitchen. That's my sacred space.
4. I've had half a can of Mung Bean Soda and a single fried mushroom, my body is READY.
5. text him!
2. I'm not built for diplomacy. Oh, sure, I know how to smile politely and say flattering things, but it's so incredibly boring. I've somehow wound up in a midnight meeting with the Emperor-Elect of Tarnash VII. Kill me. Kindly.
3. Look, I may be adventurous, but I would never have sex in my kitchen. That's my sacred space.
4. I've had half a can of Mung Bean Soda and a single fried mushroom, my body is READY.
5. text him!
Look. This is what you gotta do man
Just stop smiling and say whatever you want
Just stop smiling and say whatever you want
1. She said, and I quote: Muffins say "Love me" and waffles say "Fuck me" And I’ve never been more confused in my life.
2. You begged me to sleep naked.
3. I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card.
4. Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
5. Your voicemail was too dramatic for me to call back, so texting you here to make sure you're ok.
6. There can only be one dramatic failure per friend group and I absolutely claimed it first. Get yourself together.
7. Might be late. Took a dive in the harbor. I think I should shower first for both of our benefits.
2. You begged me to sleep naked.
3. I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card.
4. Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
5. Your voicemail was too dramatic for me to call back, so texting you here to make sure you're ok.
6. There can only be one dramatic failure per friend group and I absolutely claimed it first. Get yourself together.
7. Might be late. Took a dive in the harbor. I think I should shower first for both of our benefits.
1.) Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
2.) Would you like to see a picture of a man with a parrot perched on his dick?
3.) I wanted to say "you're a soulless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
4.) I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
5.) Text him.
2.) Would you like to see a picture of a man with a parrot perched on his dick?
3.) I wanted to say "you're a soulless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
4.) I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
5.) Text him.
1. all i know is i'd definitely throw up if you guys ever dated.
2. if it's a concussion i guess i'll find out when i don't wake up.
3. ten voicemails and you said nothing in any of them. explain.
4. tell me you didn't try to go out the window...
5. [ text your own / misfire him - ota. m/m 21+ for shipping ]
1. escaped the healer's house. meet me at camp.
2. i've decided something. i can accept you being a bit self-destructive, but i can't accept you becoming vegan.
3. accidentally dropped a bottle of grease by the fire... we need new bedrolls.
4. sometimes i think what it'd be like to be a firework...
5. don't worry, i only died a little bit.
6. text her!
2. i've decided something. i can accept you being a bit self-destructive, but i can't accept you becoming vegan.
3. accidentally dropped a bottle of grease by the fire... we need new bedrolls.
4. sometimes i think what it'd be like to be a firework...
5. don't worry, i only died a little bit.
6. text her!
Edited 2024-08-09 05:34 (UTC)
Like falling but up, then it hurts and stings.
[ He’s a shapeshifter who may be joking. ]
[ He’s a shapeshifter who may be joking. ]
[ooc: going to do young Alfred this time but if you prefer regular older Alfred just clarify and I can switch.]
1.) I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
2.) Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
3.) The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
4.) That's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence.
1.) I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
2.) Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
3.) The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
4.) That's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence.
Haha good point, let's go crazy today and stick with young
flippin_peachy
- 2024-08-09 16:11 (UTC) - Expand002. if i find out that you're the one that stuck gum in my hair i'm lying about you on the inter-knot!
003. i'm sorry i bit you. in my defense: i couldn't help it.
004. is he still looking for me? tell him i'm dead. that'll buy me some time.
005. girldinner is cup noodles and a leftover eggroll tonight so we're really living large.
Edited 2024-08-09 04:25 (UTC)
I think he believed me. Just bought a round for the house. Calling his friends. It's turning into a party.
1. Hey I'm probably about to get fired, can you give me a ride home?
2. I told him I was biracial and he asked, "so does that mean you like boys and girls?" How did he make it into college?
3. You got into a fistfight with someone because they kept misgendering your cat. Do you even have a cat?
4. Please tell me that my standards for going home with someone need to be a little higher than "has air conditioning" and "does not have noticeable body odor."
5. When I bought this power bank, I didn't think I'd primarily be using it to fast charge my vibrator, but here we are!
6. [Text her! Misfires welcome!]
2. I told him I was biracial and he asked, "so does that mean you like boys and girls?" How did he make it into college?
3. You got into a fistfight with someone because they kept misgendering your cat. Do you even have a cat?
4. Please tell me that my standards for going home with someone need to be a little higher than "has air conditioning" and "does not have noticeable body odor."
5. When I bought this power bank, I didn't think I'd primarily be using it to fast charge my vibrator, but here we are!
6. [Text her! Misfires welcome!]
1. i attempted to put a blanket on you, and you bit me.
2. if i recall correctly, you were responsible for the majority of what happened last night.
3. here's the thing. kinda drunk. eating leftover soup. in bed.
4. you win some, you lose some. i'm not giving you any more money.
5. it’ll be easy. you just have to seduce them.
2. if i recall correctly, you were responsible for the majority of what happened last night.
3. here's the thing. kinda drunk. eating leftover soup. in bed.
4. you win some, you lose some. i'm not giving you any more money.
5. it’ll be easy. you just have to seduce them.
Which would be the surer bet between a chatty, coquettish seduction and a smoky come-hither stare seduction, I wonder.
[ always bothering you for 'advice.' ]
[ always bothering you for 'advice.' ]
1. I highly recommend you return it before I feel as though you need a chaperone to help you do so.
2. Please refrain from trying to bite me next time.
3. Your punctuality is appreciated, but not entirely necessary when it comes at your expense.
4. or text him! m/m preferred for shipping.
2. Please refrain from trying to bite me next time.
3. Your punctuality is appreciated, but not entirely necessary when it comes at your expense.
4. or text him! m/m preferred for shipping.
Does that mean don't show up without pants next time?
[ bio + potential tw. open to assumed cr and misfires. ]
1) This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
2) Just had to explain to a senior agent why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
3) Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
4) He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
5) [ Text Janet. ]
1) This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
2) Just had to explain to a senior agent why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
3) Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
4) He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
5) [ Text Janet. ]
Edited 2024-08-09 04:55 (UTC)
1. i am on a roof. i don't know which one, or why, or how, but i am on a roof and you should come get me.
2. i don't know if i want to kiss you or punch you in the face.
3. i saw that. that was pretty stupid of you, huh?
4. or text him!
2. i don't know if i want to kiss you or punch you in the face.
3. i saw that. that was pretty stupid of you, huh?
4. or text him!
002. aw, don't be mad. it's not the first time i've done it to you.
003. i sent them your dick pic and got a really stale response so make of that what you will.
004. you better be dying if you're going to blow my phone up this time of night.
005. what do i want? same as any other girl. attention, adoration, toys to play with, an iced drink. it's not my fault you don't know how to chase your bliss.
1. I kept having to give myself encouraging advice, such as "you know how the hatch works".
2. He told me that he didn't like my name, so he was going to call me Casey instead.
3. He asked me to smell his eyeballs.
4. Why is the demogorgon's face a giant rafflesia flower?
5. Are you kidding? We pinky swore. Some promises can't be broken.
6. So does the Entity just reset all the generators every time, or what?
7. Choose your own/text her!
2. He told me that he didn't like my name, so he was going to call me Casey instead.
3. He asked me to smell his eyeballs.
4. Why is the demogorgon's face a giant rafflesia flower?
5. Are you kidding? We pinky swore. Some promises can't be broken.
6. So does the Entity just reset all the generators every time, or what?
7. Choose your own/text her!
Sounds like he should be called Asshole instead.
1. Look, me suddenly speaking Sylvan just before I orgasm was a surprise for me too.
2. If you're worried about being stabbed, you absolutely should not be here.
3. I want to lovingly bend you over and tenderly fuck you until you cry. Happy?
4. The healer shut the door because I was laughing too hard.
5. You left me a note that said "Rivington is on fire. Bring the Rosé." Care to elaborate?
6. Or text him!
Conflicted on account of I don't think this was meant for me, and yet...
1. i just saw you spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top. you good?
2. you might not wanna hear this, but cat food counts as protein too.
3. just stole an entire basket of gourmet cheese by pretending to be a cop. that costume is really turning a profit.
4. ...no way someone took the entire pan of lasagna i had cooling on the window??
5. if i text you asking sexy questions assume my phone was stolen and do not engage.
6. text/misfire him
2. you might not wanna hear this, but cat food counts as protein too.
3. just stole an entire basket of gourmet cheese by pretending to be a cop. that costume is really turning a profit.
4. ...no way someone took the entire pan of lasagna i had cooling on the window??
5. if i text you asking sexy questions assume my phone was stolen and do not engage.
6. text/misfire him
- I heard an explosion. Explain yourself.
- Years of friendship with you does have many of the hallmarks of a traumatic experience.
- What is the significance of 👉👈
- Confirm you're alive. Your voicemail was very alarming.
- Promising a night of ‘karaoke and regret’ is not the tempting offer you think it is.
- You claimed that you needed to rest so you could die properly tomorrow.
- 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉 - text him
Edited 2024-08-09 04:40 (UTC)
It's like when someone is being shy?
Come to think of it, I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone make the actual gesture outside of visual media.
Come to think of it, I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone make the actual gesture outside of visual media.
1. propaganda is when a british person takes a good look at something
2. if you're the maid of honor at your friend's second wedding, after being maid of honor at the first, is it okay to start my speech with "welcome back, everyone"?
3. rate my maid of honor speech: "i have a note from our friends who can't be here tonight. dear bride, we're sorry we can't be here for your special day. congratulations. we wanted to let you know how much fun we had with you and thank you for financially supporting us and our families. sincerely, the strippers."
4. cute things to call your s.o.: sugar, honey, flour, egg, 1/2 lb of butter, stir, pour into pan, preheat to 375°
5. when you compare the size of a gummy worm to a gummy bear, it starts to paint a horrific picture of the gummy universe.
6. the person who invented the ferris wheel never met the person who invented the merry go round. they traveled in different circles.
7. [ Wildcard ]
1. Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over the general’s bathroom. oopsie.
2. Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
3. i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
4. It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
2. Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
3. i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
4. It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
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