shocksock (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shocksock) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2017-07-14 12:01 pm
shocksock) wrote in bakerstreet2017-07-14 12:01 pm
Entry tags:
a. You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
b. After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
c. This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
d. You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
or choose your own.
1. I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then I proceeded to put his hands on my face.
2. We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
3. I forgot wine drunk hurts.
4. Text the idiot
2. We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
3. I forgot wine drunk hurts.
4. Text the idiot
1. So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
2. ...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
3. I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. Surprised, and somewhat proud.
4. He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
5. Text her!
2. ...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
3. I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. Surprised, and somewhat proud.
4. He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
5. Text her!
(reply from suspended user)
a. You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
b. i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
c. Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
d. I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
or choose your own / book canon also available
A) Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
B) Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in.
C) You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
D) Text him!
B) Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in.
C) You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
D) Text him!
No, why?
[Does his phone even take pictures? He just doesn't know.]
[Does his phone even take pictures? He just doesn't know.]
1. pretty sure that i just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong
totally unrelated we just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
2. i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in
winning at life
3. you're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot colombian men
4. you need to stop showing people the things i drunk text to you
i have a reputation to uphold here
5. why is there a whip in the kitchen
6. (idk text him)
totally unrelated we just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
2. i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in
winning at life
3. you're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot colombian men
4. you need to stop showing people the things i drunk text to you
i have a reputation to uphold here
5. why is there a whip in the kitchen
6. (idk text him)
Edited 2017-07-14 17:09 (UTC)
showing these your texts around are the only way you are keeping said reputation
Edited (words??) 2017-07-14 18:08 (UTC)
hi!! just realised I still managed to write that sentence wrong even though I edited.... sorry!
killertrack
- 2017-07-14 18:23 (UTC) - ExpandPidge Gunderson aka Katie Holt | Voltron: Legendary Defender
sweatysometimes
2017-07-14 05:06 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
2. Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
3. Can't talk. Ducks in the lion.
4. Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good day!
5. Text her!
2. Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
3. Can't talk. Ducks in the lion.
4. Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good day!
5. Text her!
calling it now the Lion is the name for the van shiro drives everyone around in
sweatysometimes
- 2017-07-14 17:19 (UTC) - Expanda. I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
b. STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
c. My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
d. Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
or choose your own.
1. I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
2. You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
3. Had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
4. TEXT HIM
2. You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
3. Had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
4. TEXT HIM
01. I swear to the Norns if this turns out to be an intervention, I will set you on fire.
02. Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
03. If you don't want me in your apartment, then lock your door better.
04. No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker before. What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
02. Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
03. If you don't want me in your apartment, then lock your door better.
04. No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker before. What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
(reply from suspended user)
(reply from suspended user)
A) I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
B) He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
C) You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
D) Text him!
B) He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
C) You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
D) Text him!
1. If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
2. my mouth tastes like poor choices
3. this lesbian crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire class staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
4. My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
5. I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN BITCH. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN BITCH.
6. Text her!
2. my mouth tastes like poor choices
3. this lesbian crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire class staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
4. My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
5. I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN BITCH. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN BITCH.
6. Text her!
Edited 2017-07-14 17:14 (UTC)
a. There is a strobe light in my taxi. In what way is this safe?
b. You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
c. I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
d. I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
or choose your own. canon era available
It sounds fun! As long as it's not affecting the driver's vision.
1 - found my wallet. it was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". drunk me is an ass.
2 - i need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
3 - we tried the hang-n-bang, remember? you ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me.
4 - [text him! cross-canon/medium and misfires are go! ヾ(｡･ω･)ｼ]
2 - i need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
3 - we tried the hang-n-bang, remember? you ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me.
4 - [text him! cross-canon/medium and misfires are go! ヾ(｡･ω･)ｼ]
A) On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
B) I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
C) I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
D) Text him!
B) I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
C) I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
D) Text him!
01: I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
02: I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, hellhounds, and McDonald's.
03: i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way. never drink and shadow travel
04: After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
05: [ text him? ]
02: I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, hellhounds, and McDonald's.
03: i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way. never drink and shadow travel
04: After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
05: [ text him? ]
Edited 2017-07-14 17:11 (UTC)
a. Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
b. Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
c. I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
d. Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you.
or choose your own.
A) I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
B) there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
C) Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
D) Text him!
B) there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
C) Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
D) Text him!
a. Is this something I am going to want to hug you or slap you for?
b. Sorry I could not bail you out apparently they do not take credit card over the phone did you at least make new friend in jail?
c. All the doctor said was why
d. Did I see you at the bar last night?
e. [text her!]
b. Sorry I could not bail you out apparently they do not take credit card over the phone did you at least make new friend in jail?
c. All the doctor said was why
d. Did I see you at the bar last night?
e. [text her!]
(reply from suspended user)
(reply from suspended user)
(reply from suspended user)
1. All I know is that if Italians start time travelling, we're in a lot of trouble, paisan.
2. What happened to our ballroom dancing plans?
3. Just got yelled at by a priest. ...again.
4. Thanks for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother/sister.
5. Text him!
2. What happened to our ballroom dancing plans?
3. Just got yelled at by a priest. ...again.
4. Thanks for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother/sister.
5. Text him!
It turns out that I am a terrible dancer. Several professional competitive dancer told my partner that I "suck" - which is a colloquialism meaning that I am terrible at something, in this case dancing.
A) Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
B) After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
C) he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
D) Text him!
B) After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
C) he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
D) Text him!
(f/f only if you wanna get shippy)
1. Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry.
2. You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket ...
3. Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
4. (text her!)
1. Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry.
2. You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket ...
3. Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
4. (text her!)
Page 1 of 14