shocksock (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2017-07-14 12:01 pm
shocksock) wrote in bakerstreet2017-07-14 12:01 pm
Entry tags:
1. I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to the Force, I will push you in from of a fast-running bantha.
2. I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
3. Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I love my teeth.
4. Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
2. I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
3. Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I love my teeth.
4. Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
A very strong image, points for the disturbing factor. Is everything okay?
Some things call for strong images.
I'm okay. I had a weird week.
I'm okay. I had a weird week.
1. Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
2. sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
3. Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
4. I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
5. Text him.
2. sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
3. Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
4. I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
5. Text him.
a. I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
b. I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and pizza.
c. Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
d. Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
e. He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
b. I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and pizza.
c. Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
d. Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
e. He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
1. If I find out who pierced my belly button last night I'm going to murder them.
2.Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs.
3.I want to know who shaved my legs while I was sleeping. I'm not even mad, they're really soft, I'm honestly impressed it happened without waking me up.
4. [Text him]
2.Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs.
3.I want to know who shaved my legs while I was sleeping. I'm not even mad, they're really soft, I'm honestly impressed it happened without waking me up.
4. [Text him]
And you weren't at all aware that was happening at the time?
uhhh
i'm pretty sure you still have legs, but do you need help walking?
i'm pretty sure you still have legs, but do you need help walking?
a;
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
b;
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
c;
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
d;
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
e;
text him
01. I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in front of a fast running Eiroch
02. Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
03. what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
04. text her
02. Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
03. what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
04. text her
1) Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
2) I can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore.
3) You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
4) I will return your cat. I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical.
2) I can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore.
3) You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
4) I will return your cat. I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical.
1 Danced Like there was no tomorrow. Surprise: There's a tomorrow.
2 Is no an emotion? Because that is what I am feeling right now.
3 I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. My. Eyebrow.
4 I want to know who undressed me, shaved my legs, and dressed me in your outfit while I was sleeping. I'm not even mad. My legs are really soft, and the clothes are surprisingly comfy. I'm honestly impressed it happened without waking me up.
2 Is no an emotion? Because that is what I am feeling right now.
3 I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. My. Eyebrow.
4 I want to know who undressed me, shaved my legs, and dressed me in your outfit while I was sleeping. I'm not even mad. My legs are really soft, and the clothes are surprisingly comfy. I'm honestly impressed it happened without waking me up.
1. My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
2. I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
3. I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
4. A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
5. Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my tuxedo. Classy
2. I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
3. I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
4. A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
5. Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my tuxedo. Classy
4. [waves au magic all over this shit for comedic texting hijinks]
betweenfrost
2017-07-16 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
Did you intend for me to receive something so nonsensical?
1. I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
2. I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
3. I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you into a fast running river.
4. Text him
2. I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
3. I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you into a fast running river.
4. Text him
Moron, of course that wouldn't work.
I met a creepy dude who's obsessed with snakes. I don't need a second creeper like this.
I met a creepy dude who's obsessed with snakes. I don't need a second creeper like this.
Did you raid my closet, Shisui?
Edited 2017-07-17 10:16 (UTC)
A) I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
B) We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
C) Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
D) Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
B) We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
C) Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
D) Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
1. Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
2. Absence makes the cock grow harder.
3. [Text him]
2. Absence makes the cock grow harder.
3. [Text him]
1. we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
2. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
3. I don't have parental supervision.
4. I feel like I ate the whole candy aisle at 7/11 last night
2. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
3. I don't have parental supervision.
4. I feel like I ate the whole candy aisle at 7/11 last night
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