shocksock (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shocksock) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2017-07-14 12:01 pm
shocksock) wrote in bakerstreet2017-07-14 12:01 pm
Entry tags:
1. may have caused an international incident. more details after we taxi in.
2. PS i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles
3. beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but you're still not doing that to my face
I think you should try anything once
Was the vehicle moving?
Was the vehicle moving?
1) I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparently they dont take credit cards over the phone or by email. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
2) I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
3) Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
4) ((text him!))
2) I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
3) Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
4) ((text him!))
1. i woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. so that's that.
2. we don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
3. i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
4. i fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. you don't fuck with poptarts. it's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
5. text him
2. we don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
3. i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
4. i fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. you don't fuck with poptarts. it's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
5. text him
Edited 2017-07-14 18:27 (UTC)
But they can be tasty! And I promise that they don't taste any different than your regular poptarts, but they have triple the vitamins to give you energy!
1. What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
2. I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
3. Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
4. Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
5. Text him!
A. no
B. lost
C. dont' know
D. [text her!]
B. lost
C. dont' know
D. [text her!]
1. i don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me
2. what i lack in compassion i make up for in lack of compassion
3. dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. dude another stall over, "come on bro, you gotta loosen up." this is why i don't shit in public
4. (text him!)
2. what i lack in compassion i make up for in lack of compassion
3. dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. dude another stall over, "come on bro, you gotta loosen up." this is why i don't shit in public
4. (text him!)
Believe me, you still have plenty of people who dislike you.
1. I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin.
2. As I was buying milk at the store the lady at the checkout said, "What, no alcohol?" Have I really earned THAT reputation?
3. You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out... for 45 minutes.
4. Too tired to do dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want any.
2. As I was buying milk at the store the lady at the checkout said, "What, no alcohol?" Have I really earned THAT reputation?
3. You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out... for 45 minutes.
4. Too tired to do dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want any.
Edited 2017-07-14 18:19 (UTC)
(reply from suspended user)
(reply from suspended user)
Mamoru Chiba - Sailor Moon - OTA castmates, M/F cross-canon
royalroseofearth
2017-07-14 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
((also OTA gen and misfires))
A - i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
B - wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
C - So how do you handle the whole "that friend who you thought was gay for me is back" conversation with your girlfriend?
Asking for a friend
A - i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
B - wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
C - So how do you handle the whole "that friend who you thought was gay for me is back" conversation with your girlfriend?
Asking for a friend
1. I sent him a text saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
2. I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
3. Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
4. Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass... I know Im not supposed to ask but what the fuck did I do?!
2. I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
3. Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
4. Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass... I know Im not supposed to ask but what the fuck did I do?!
so hypothetically if i had your arm what would you trade me for it?
1. I just bought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
2. I don't think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
3. Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. Totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks.
4. Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
5. (Text her!)
2. I don't think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
3. Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. Totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks.
4. Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
5. (Text her!)
Edited 2017-07-14 18:22 (UTC)
1. Don’t call the police on the strange man passed out in the car in the driveway. I’ll be home around noon to collect him.
2. You kept reassuring me it was "okay to be gay" after I used CPR to save your life.
3. We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America.
4. Don't worry about the blood on the pillow. It's from my face.
5. I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores without clothing of any kind.
6. Text him?
2. You kept reassuring me it was "okay to be gay" after I used CPR to save your life.
3. We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America.
4. Don't worry about the blood on the pillow. It's from my face.
5. I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores without clothing of any kind.
6. Text him?
Edited 2017-07-14 18:23 (UTC)
1. I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
2. And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
3. Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
4. Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
5. text her
2. And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
3. Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
4. Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
5. text her
1.) I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
2.) My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
3.) I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
2.) My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
3.) I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
1. any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
2. the spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
3. i'm sorry i couldn't bail you out, apparently they don't take credit cards over the phone. did you at least make any friends in jail?
4. yolo... doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
5. text him!
2. the spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
3. i'm sorry i couldn't bail you out, apparently they don't take credit cards over the phone. did you at least make any friends in jail?
4. yolo... doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
5. text him!
Yes. It does. Aren't you supposed to be running the speed mod, not chattering?
1. Cookies and nudity, all you need in life.
2. You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness, not bring me hot Brazilian men.
3. Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
4. Pick your own!
2. You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness, not bring me hot Brazilian men.
3. Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
4. Pick your own!
1. Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
2. YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
3. It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opportunities. Part of me was like, "You awful person" and the bigger part was screaming, "YES".
4. I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
5. Right now you and alcohol are my only friends.
6. I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
7.TEXT HIM!
2. YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
3. It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opportunities. Part of me was like, "You awful person" and the bigger part was screaming, "YES".
4. I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
5. Right now you and alcohol are my only friends.
6. I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
7.TEXT HIM!
I imagine that conversation would be nigh impossible to continue, or at least to do so in a civil manner. Dare I ask who this person is, the better to avoid them?
1.) My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
2.) I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
3.) Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
2.) I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
3.) Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
so is that 'naked cookie feast' or is someone else involved?
1. I think we need to teach you what straight means again
2. I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
3. Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
4. You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
5. text him!
2. I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
3. Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
4. You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
5. text him!
You answered me though. It only would have been half as many if you hadn't answered. probably.
Where are you going to find a rhino?
Where are you going to find a rhino?
1. I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
2. Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle...
3. I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
4. Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
2. Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle...
3. I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
4. Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No, but I can explain. Remember how I was complaining about the toaster taking a few minutes too long? Well I tried to fix it. I did fix it, actually, and now it superheats waffles in a flash... only kink I've still got to work out is the fact that they pop out on fire. So, uh, there you have it.
And try not to worry too much about the fire. Dum-e's got this.
And try not to worry too much about the fire. Dum-e's got this.
1. I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
2.Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
3. Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
2.Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
3. Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
1: If I wanted to fly with other people I wouldn't have bought a private jet.
2: I swear I'm going to strangle the next blogger I meet.
3: What's the policy on bringing poisonous animals to board meetings?
4: Someone trashed my house last night and there's only a 40% chance that it was me.
5/wildcard: text him!
2: I swear I'm going to strangle the next blogger I meet.
3: What's the policy on bringing poisonous animals to board meetings?
4: Someone trashed my house last night and there's only a 40% chance that it was me.
5/wildcard: text him!
1. First off, his name is Dougie. Strike one.
2. Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night?
3. Let's just use each other and get past this awkward stage. Forget my name.
4. There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
2. Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night?
3. Let's just use each other and get past this awkward stage. Forget my name.
4. There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
1. A cloud just gave me the middle finger.
2. The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
3. Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
4. that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
5. ( BYO text )
2. The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
3. Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
4. that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
5. ( BYO text )
Well, when you have reality-altering powers, shenanigans can be a little intense.
Anyway, I'm sure if you got that high, you'd cause some serious collateral damage, too.
Anyway, I'm sure if you got that high, you'd cause some serious collateral damage, too.
1. Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
2.I sent them a text saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
3.I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
2.I sent them a text saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
3.I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
1. I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are one of the few people I don't want to murder. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
2. I turn into such a nice-ish person when I drink coffee
3. You need to stop showing people the things i text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
4. I tried to cut you?! My bad! PS where's my cape?
or text him
2. I turn into such a nice-ish person when I drink coffee
3. You need to stop showing people the things i text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
4. I tried to cut you?! My bad! PS where's my cape?
or text him
Edited 2017-07-14 18:44 (UTC)
[ I'm not sure if I feel better or more concerned knowing that you don't want to murder me anymore.
Or if I should just call you a terrible liar.]
Or if I should just call you a terrible liar.]
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