bakerstreet | (no subject)

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Wish Fulfillment Meme
(AKA a slightly different AU meme)

ROLL IT OR DON'T WHATEVER
THIS IS NOW AN ALTERNATE REALITY
(Disclaimer: Characters don't actually have to be aware anything's different and it probably works better if they're not anyway, this is wish fulfillment right here)

SUPERHERO WORLD: Put on your capes and keep your undies on the outside kids, it's time to save the world. Only those with the coolest names and the least crappy powers can survive in a world that doesn't understand. And something about responsibility I guess.
PIRATE WORLD: Because a whole meme dedicated to pirates isn't enough, it's never enough, never. Swash those buckles and put Errol Flynn to shame.
COWBOY WORLD: More lawless outlaws and people who don't need no stinkin' badges. Just make sure you're not the kind who wears flamboyant pink or you might mess up the timeline.
ROCK STAR WORLD: Sex, drugs, and stupid-looking outfits. From Gaga to Mercury to Richards to Jones, these proud innovators of the musical world (and other guys who played music I guess) pioneer new ways to look ridiculous and still get laid all the time. CATCH A PIECE OF THAT MAGIC AND BECOME A JUKE BOX HERO.
ROBOT WORLD: I don't even know anymore I'm just throwing this in here for the hell of it. You're robots. I guess do whatever robots do when they're not fantasizing about calculators.
DETECTIVE WORLD: Hard-boiled flatfoots chase crooked criminals in the black-and-white streets of a vaguely early 1900's America because that's the only place that ever had hard-boiled detectives, shut up, it's historical fact.
POTPOURRI WORLD: ROBOT COWBOY ROCK STARS. WHO ARE ALSO DINOSAURS.

I rescind the apology I was going to give for this meme because robot cowboy rock star dinosaurs.

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Impressive. I thought it would've been less than that.

[Finishes off his doughnut.]

Too bad we won't get paid for investigating the brown-outs. Not unless the police get desperate.

Eh. Not like we have anything else to do today.

We could always end up with a client. [He says this but, well, they haven't had a client in days. So it doesn't sound all that convincing.]

[She's already making her way over to the coatrack, grabbing her trench and throwing it on]

Or we could just go and find one for ourselves.

Where's that adventurous spirit I went into business with?

I think I left him back at the doughnut shop.

Where do you want to start looking?

[As she fixes her hair, she closes the gap between them]

The doughnut shop?

[Jokes aside, she lowers her gaze and absently fixes his coat lapels so that they were straight and even.]

Don't want to investigate without my partner.

I'm sure I can coax him out.

[Smiling brightly.] I'm ready to get some good ol' gumshoeing on, if you are.

[Her fingers linger beneath the flaps for a moment, smiling softly to herself before she lifts her gaze.]

Always.

Then let's get going. Mystery and adventure wait for no one, not even cool people in fedoras.

[Her hands drop, but the smile doesn't fade]

Lead the way.

[He opens the door for her in the most gentlemanly way. Oof, you can feel that heat washing over you. Being a detective in the dead of a summer heatwave is suffering.]

[Maybe the trench coats were a bad idea; Zatanna could already feel the beads of perspiration trickling down her forehead as they walked into what felt like a giant oven. The very air before them seemed to ripple.]

You know what? Maybe we should just wait for a client to come to us after all.

Turning your back on adventure already?

[But he has to admit, it's wickedly hot. Gotham you are drunk.]

I like to think of it as "Plan B"

[But, Robin, aiiiiiir condiiiitioniiiiiiiing!]

Yeah, Plan A seems a little...rash. We should regroup.

[So back in they go.]

[Not all was lost, however; Zatanna still made a point of turning on the small, black-and-white television they had sitting over in one corner. As she removed the trench and used her hat to fan herself, she flicked through the channels using the bottom dial.]

Maybe we'll get lucky and find something on one of the news channels?

[He finally takes off his hat and trench. There's only so much sweltering he can take.

He sits down on a chair near the TV.]

That'd definitely save us a lot of work.

[After a few minutes, she strikes gold. Literally; the news reporter was giving a very vague, possibly only half-accurate account of a brownout at one of the smaller bank branches. No actual money had been stolen, but inventory of all safety deposit boxes had yet to be completed.]

Bingo.

[He absorbs as much of the info he can. Not a lot to go on...his favorite kind of cases.]

Definitely sounds promising. I might even have a few sources down at that bank.

I think I might be able to brave the summer sun if we have an actual destination in mind.

Your sources actually there right now?

I think so. We'll find out when we get there.

...and I think we can leave the trenchcoats behind. The fedoras will be enough.

Works for me.

[This time, when they exit, the heat is only slightly unbearable. She makes it all the way to the car this time, claiming the passenger's seat with a faint groan.]

Onward, ho?

[And he climbs into the passenger seat. Don't worry, officer, I have a license?

Unfortunately, there's no air conditioning in film noir land, so he opens his window. Only moderately helpful, really. He starts up the car and grins at Zatanna.]

Onward and...forward.

[The engine roars to life, and the licensed(?) driver hits the gas. The resultant air that blows through the open windows is a vast improvement. Her eyes close, and she reaches for her hat as the breeze sweeps her hair back]

Much better.

[Don't worry, he's a good driver.]

Nothing like the wind in your hair. Almost makes me want to grab a Coke and go to the beach. Too bad we have crimes to solve.