bakerstreet | (no subject)

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[meme] crack

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Wish Fulfillment Meme
(AKA a slightly different AU meme)

ROLL IT OR DON'T WHATEVER
THIS IS NOW AN ALTERNATE REALITY
(Disclaimer: Characters don't actually have to be aware anything's different and it probably works better if they're not anyway, this is wish fulfillment right here)

SUPERHERO WORLD: Put on your capes and keep your undies on the outside kids, it's time to save the world. Only those with the coolest names and the least crappy powers can survive in a world that doesn't understand. And something about responsibility I guess.
PIRATE WORLD: Because a whole meme dedicated to pirates isn't enough, it's never enough, never. Swash those buckles and put Errol Flynn to shame.
COWBOY WORLD: More lawless outlaws and people who don't need no stinkin' badges. Just make sure you're not the kind who wears flamboyant pink or you might mess up the timeline.
ROCK STAR WORLD: Sex, drugs, and stupid-looking outfits. From Gaga to Mercury to Richards to Jones, these proud innovators of the musical world (and other guys who played music I guess) pioneer new ways to look ridiculous and still get laid all the time. CATCH A PIECE OF THAT MAGIC AND BECOME A JUKE BOX HERO.
ROBOT WORLD: I don't even know anymore I'm just throwing this in here for the hell of it. You're robots. I guess do whatever robots do when they're not fantasizing about calculators.
DETECTIVE WORLD: Hard-boiled flatfoots chase crooked criminals in the black-and-white streets of a vaguely early 1900's America because that's the only place that ever had hard-boiled detectives, shut up, it's historical fact.
POTPOURRI WORLD: ROBOT COWBOY ROCK STARS. WHO ARE ALSO DINOSAURS.

I rescind the apology I was going to give for this meme because robot cowboy rock star dinosaurs.

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Me neither. But what's with the staring in the first place? It's like she's never seen two detectives having lunch before.

[Casually sips at her water, as she replies:]

Because she thinks we're a couple.

Now where would she get an idea like that?

Beats me.

[He just smiles in turn. When the waitress with a staring problem comes back, he pointedly orders the alfredo.]

I'll have the same.

[Continues to ignore the smirking. Because she really doesn't mind. At all.]

[Good thing she likes the smirking because it's here to stay.

And the waitress just kinda looks back and forth between them. WTF did she interrupt?]

[The heck if they really know themselves. They're too busy having a smirkoff.]

[The waitress looks at both of them like they're nuts before she scurries off.

This, of course, causes Robin to laugh.]

[And, naturally, him laughing causes her to giggle.]

[She holds up her glass in a playful toast]

[Clinks his glass against hers]

Well played.

Denial is boring.

People are going to assume no matter what. Might as well have a little fun, hmm?

Well, I am a fan of fun. What do you have in mind?

Depends. What are you up for?

How about some chalant banter that makes everyone around us feel awkward?

That just happens to be my favorite kind of banter.

[The busboy arrives to deliver their complimentary breadsticks. Zatanna makes a point of getting up, repositioning her seat so that she's adjacent to him, rather than all the way across the table. Leaning in, she whispers in his ear.]

How's this?

[Whispers back:] Perfect.

[He totally chalantly puts his arm around her shoulders.]

[The busboy--barely older than they were--looks expectantly unsure. He keeps glancing back and forth between the two, his mouth opening several times before he just turns and walks away.]

Huh. He looked nervous for some reason.

[Smirking mischievously, she reaches out with one arm to grab a breadstick. Nibbling while still leaning against him.]

I always say you can judge how good a restaurant is by the quality of their bread.

I couldn't possibly know why.

[He just smiles at her.] And how is it?

[She breaks off a piece at the bottom, holding it out for him to try.]

You tell me.

[And try it he does.]

Not bad.

[There's a bottle of olive oil on the table. Zatanna uses her bread plate to pour some for dipping, adding a bit of black pepper before going to town.]

[The look on her face? Pure heaven.]

[And he may or may not think that that's kinda cute.

Eating some bread himself.]

This was exactly what I needed.

Are you feeling better?

[NO HE HASN'T FORGOTTEN.]