bakerstreet | (no subject)

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[meme] crack

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Wish Fulfillment Meme
(AKA a slightly different AU meme)

ROLL IT OR DON'T WHATEVER
THIS IS NOW AN ALTERNATE REALITY
(Disclaimer: Characters don't actually have to be aware anything's different and it probably works better if they're not anyway, this is wish fulfillment right here)

SUPERHERO WORLD: Put on your capes and keep your undies on the outside kids, it's time to save the world. Only those with the coolest names and the least crappy powers can survive in a world that doesn't understand. And something about responsibility I guess.
PIRATE WORLD: Because a whole meme dedicated to pirates isn't enough, it's never enough, never. Swash those buckles and put Errol Flynn to shame.
COWBOY WORLD: More lawless outlaws and people who don't need no stinkin' badges. Just make sure you're not the kind who wears flamboyant pink or you might mess up the timeline.
ROCK STAR WORLD: Sex, drugs, and stupid-looking outfits. From Gaga to Mercury to Richards to Jones, these proud innovators of the musical world (and other guys who played music I guess) pioneer new ways to look ridiculous and still get laid all the time. CATCH A PIECE OF THAT MAGIC AND BECOME A JUKE BOX HERO.
ROBOT WORLD: I don't even know anymore I'm just throwing this in here for the hell of it. You're robots. I guess do whatever robots do when they're not fantasizing about calculators.
DETECTIVE WORLD: Hard-boiled flatfoots chase crooked criminals in the black-and-white streets of a vaguely early 1900's America because that's the only place that ever had hard-boiled detectives, shut up, it's historical fact.
POTPOURRI WORLD: ROBOT COWBOY ROCK STARS. WHO ARE ALSO DINOSAURS.

I rescind the apology I was going to give for this meme because robot cowboy rock star dinosaurs.

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What's with that anyway? How could be there be this high a concentration of prudes in one restaurant at one time?

It's not just the restaurant, you know. It's the 1940s in general.

I think we were born in the wrong era. That would explain all the staring. And people mistaking you for my secretary.

[She rolls her eyes]

Don't even get me started on that one. Does it look like I'm wearing a skirt to you?

No. But I'm a detective, remember? And some people are just closed-minded.

Ugh.

Like I'd want to spend my whole day sitting at a desk and answering phones.

It wouldn't suit you. [Is that a hint of fondness? Maybe.]

Besides, who knows what trouble you'd get into if you didn't have me around?

The kind that's not nearly as fun as the trouble we get into together.

Exactly.

Look at what I'd be missing out on.

Creeping out waitresses and elderly couples while enjoying a dish of amazing alfredo?

With the most fun partner this side of the Red Car line.

I try.

[Smiles. Taking one last bite, she puts her fork down. Roughly 3/4 of her plate is empty.]

Mmm...so good. I'm stuffed!

[He's polished off his plate.]

No room for ice cream, then?

Lies and slander.

There's always room for ice cream.

See? This is why we work so well together.

Ready to pay the check and get out of here? Or should we make them stare judgmentally at us some more?

Eh, even the judging gets old after a while.

Andiamo~

Oui, ma chérie.

[Yes, he's aware that's French.]

[She just smiles back at him for a moment. The look she's giving him...well...let's just say the line was blurred as to how much of it was part of the "game"]

[The moment is interrupted when the waiter returns, however, looking all to ready to give them their check.]

[That always seems to happen, though neither of them really get around to admitting it. Denial? Prudence? Confusion? Hard to say.]

[Robin takes the check BECAUSE HE CAN and pays. And leaves a huge tip, just to weird the waitress out more.]

Alright, ready to go back into the lovely sweltering streets of Gotham?

[Either that, or they're just waiting to see who says something first.]

No.

But let's go anyway. Before I change my mind.

[Ah, a psychological game of chicken. We'll see how long that lasts.

He leads the way out of the restaurant. The heat is even more pronounced after having been in the cool restaurant for so long.]

Ugh. I was hoping it'd be cooler by now.

No such luck. We're in for another hot, sticky night tonight.

I'd say we should pick up more fans while we're out, but I bet they're sold out.