(no subject)

[velvetattendant]

Wish Fulfillment Meme
(AKA a slightly different AU meme)

ROLL IT OR DON'T WHATEVER
THIS IS NOW AN ALTERNATE REALITY
(Disclaimer: Characters don't actually have to be aware anything's different and it probably works better if they're not anyway, this is wish fulfillment right here)
 

1. SUPERHERO WORLD: Put on your capes and keep your undies on the outside kids, it's time to save the world. Only those with the coolest names and the least crappy powers can survive in a world that doesn't understand. And something about responsibility I guess.
2. PIRATE WORLD: Because a whole meme dedicated to pirates isn't enough, it's never enough, never. Swash those buckles and put Errol Flynn to shame.
3. COWBOY WORLD: More lawless outlaws and people who don't need no stinkin' badges. Just make sure you're not the kind who wears flamboyant pink or you might mess up the timeline.
4. ROCK STAR WORLD: Sex, drugs, and stupid-looking outfits. From Gaga to Mercury to Richards to Jones, these proud innovators of the musical world (and other guys who played music I guess) pioneer new ways to look ridiculous and still get laid all the time. CATCH A PIECE OF THAT MAGIC AND BECOME A JUKE BOX HERO.
5. ROBOT WORLD: I don't even know anymore I'm just throwing this in here for the hell of it. You're robots. I guess do whatever robots do when they're not fantasizing about calculators.
6. DETECTIVE WORLD: Hard-boiled flatfoots chase crooked criminals in the black-and-white streets of a vaguely early 1900's America because that's the only place that ever had hard-boiled detectives, shut up, it's historical fact.
7. POTPOURRI WORLD: ROBOT COWBOY ROCK STARS. WHO ARE ALSO DINOSAURS.

I rescind the apology I was going to give for this meme because robot cowboy rock star dinosaurs.

Comments

[hackingyoursensors]

Severe lack of information.

We need to find this guy Leo, right?

Do you think we'd stand a chance if we confronted the mayor? Or would we be spending the night in a very poorly-ventilated jail cell?

[backwordscompatible]

Depends on how we approach him. But I'm not really willing to risk losing that lovely spring sofa in the lounge tonight.

We find Leo first. If that turns out to be a dead end, we can try talking to the Mayor. But only as a last resort.

[hackingyoursensors]

You're right. If we have to approach him, we need to be able to corner him.

Let's see. Any ideas on how to find this Leo?

[backwordscompatible]

Not a one. We don't even know if that's his real name, honestly.

[hackingyoursensors]

Let's head back to the office, then. I'll make a few calls.

[backwordscompatible]

Right.

[They pass by the ice cream shop, and she pauses. Smiling, she doesn't even say anything. Just motions to the sign]

[hackingyoursensors]

[And of course he just silently follows her in. It's always the best time for ice cream.]

[backwordscompatible]

[She gets strawberry, of course. In one of those large waffle cones. Just one scoop--she was still pretty full from that delicious meal, but like she said, there was always room for ice cream.]

[hackingyoursensors]

[And he gets rocky road. Just one scoop too, since he's pretty full. And there might be running involved later on.]

[backwordscompatible]

[Because of the heat, she does pause long enough to lean against the building, in the shade. But once the majority of her ice cream is eaten, she starts to head for the car.]

Definitely the best case I've ever been on.

[hackingyoursensors]

If ice cream makes a case good, we should get it more often.

[He's finished off his cone too and sliiiides in the driver's seat. Better hold on to your hat, Zee.]

[backwordscompatible]

[Oh, she's holding. The last of her cone is swallowed in single gulp, before she slides comfortably in her seat. Ready.]

[hackingyoursensors]

[He grins, starts the car and punches it. They end up back at the office in no time, without so much as a speeding ticket.]

[backwordscompatible]

[Because no cop could catch them]

[Zatanna, meanwhile, is lightly fanning herself.]

I love it when you do that.

[hackingyoursensors]

[Well yeah.]

Why do you think I do it?

[Gets out of the car and walks into the office. He immediately turns on every fan.]

[backwordscompatible]

[She follows, taking a seat on the couch, chin in hands.]

So who exactly do you call to inquire about a possibly psudo-named mob guy?

[hackingyoursensors]

I know a guy who knows a guy.

[Mysterious smile. He picks up the phone and dials.]

[backwordscompatible]

Of course you do.

[She sits quietly in her little spot, watching the master at work.]

[hackingyoursensors]

[He just smiles again and starts talking to a guy on the other end. He starts rattling on in Italian, inquiring about Leo. The conversation lasts a few minutes and it sounds like he has to snap at the guy on the other end a few times to pry information out of him. But he hangs up the phone triumphantly.]

The guy's name is Leopold Reynolds. He's a mid-level gangster for the West Side gang. Mostly in charge of "cleaning up messes." He has a rap sheet a mile long, but it was mostly petty crimes until recently. You wanna guess what his most recent charge has been?

[backwordscompatible]

[She raises an eyebrow in amusement.]

Ricattare un ufficiale.

Ho sentito.

[hackingyoursensors]

Nice accent. But, no. Kidnapping.

[backwordscompatible]

Huh. That's what I get for only listening to half the conversation.

Who'd he kidnap?

[hackingyoursensors]

Catherine McCalister, the daughter of a prominent businessman who just so happens to be suspected of dirty business dealings.

This pattern is starting to turn into a map.

[Is he excited? Maybe.]

[backwordscompatible]

[She's waiting for him to start giggling with glee.]

Isn't she the same age as the Mayor's daughter? They look pretty similar, too.

[hackingyoursensors]

[Give it a few minutes. He just might.]

You got it.