bakerstreet | (no subject)

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Wish Fulfillment Meme
(AKA a slightly different AU meme)

ROLL IT OR DON'T WHATEVER
THIS IS NOW AN ALTERNATE REALITY
(Disclaimer: Characters don't actually have to be aware anything's different and it probably works better if they're not anyway, this is wish fulfillment right here)

SUPERHERO WORLD: Put on your capes and keep your undies on the outside kids, it's time to save the world. Only those with the coolest names and the least crappy powers can survive in a world that doesn't understand. And something about responsibility I guess.
PIRATE WORLD: Because a whole meme dedicated to pirates isn't enough, it's never enough, never. Swash those buckles and put Errol Flynn to shame.
COWBOY WORLD: More lawless outlaws and people who don't need no stinkin' badges. Just make sure you're not the kind who wears flamboyant pink or you might mess up the timeline.
ROCK STAR WORLD: Sex, drugs, and stupid-looking outfits. From Gaga to Mercury to Richards to Jones, these proud innovators of the musical world (and other guys who played music I guess) pioneer new ways to look ridiculous and still get laid all the time. CATCH A PIECE OF THAT MAGIC AND BECOME A JUKE BOX HERO.
ROBOT WORLD: I don't even know anymore I'm just throwing this in here for the hell of it. You're robots. I guess do whatever robots do when they're not fantasizing about calculators.
DETECTIVE WORLD: Hard-boiled flatfoots chase crooked criminals in the black-and-white streets of a vaguely early 1900's America because that's the only place that ever had hard-boiled detectives, shut up, it's historical fact.
POTPOURRI WORLD: ROBOT COWBOY ROCK STARS. WHO ARE ALSO DINOSAURS.

I rescind the apology I was going to give for this meme because robot cowboy rock star dinosaurs.

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Never.

There's gotta be some low-level street man we can talk to.

Trips down shady back alleys? Sounds exciting.

But first...do they store campaign finances in the public records office? Maybe the cartel has the mayor in its pocket.

Depends. There's two ways to finance the campaign. If it's a SuperPac, we're out of luck; they aren't required to reveal any of their donors.

These guys seem to smart to donate directly. We might be out of luck. Just in case... [He walks down a row of filing cabinets, flips through a few files.]

You're right. Nothing suspicious in the official files.

Told you.

So...back alleyway it is. Yay.

How could I doubt the brilliant Zatanna?

Don't worry, I have our "gear" in the car.

[A Batarang to the face usually loosens lips, okay.]

[And this is why she keeps you around]

Better grab it first, then. Because I'm seriously doubting these guys will give us time enough to jump out of the car before they start running.

I'm already regretting saying this, but...we'd probably do better on foot.

Yeah, the car will attract way too much attention. On foot it is. Maybe if we run fast enough, we can make our own cooling breeze.

[He's kidding.]

[This face]

[This face.]

[This face]

Shall we?

[Because being beautiful people making faces doesn't solve crimes, unfortunately.]

[No, but it is fun]

Right.

Grab your stuff, and we'll head out. If we're lucky, we can at least keep to the shady parts. No pun intended.

I'm not sure that pun was unintended.

[Leaving the records room.]

Whatever helps you sleep at night, partner.

[Before they're even outside, she's rolling up her sleeves and loosening the tie around her neck. Enough to offer at least some relief while still looking as professional as possible. Her hair, damp with sweat, is pulled back into a low ponytail.]

I'd say we've got at least an eight block walk ahead of us.

[He's not much better off. His sleeves are already rolled up and he loosens his tie more, undoing the top button. Geez, Gotham.]

At least you'll have great company. And we're not in a rush.

[He walks over to the car, gets their awesome supplies out, and is ready to go!]

There is that.

[And as they start walking, just for laughs, she pretends to make small talk:]

So how's your day going so far?

Well, let's see, I had a gourmet breakfast with a fascinating lady this morning and now I'm out on a brisk stroll in this fine weather. And how is your day?

Pretty much the same. Verbatim.

[/teasing]

Oh? And who was this "fascinating lady"?

Somebody you know.

Really? Do tell.

Well...I'll give you a hint: excellent driver, great sense of humor...and not bad on the eyes, either.