bakerstreet | (no subject)

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[meme] crack

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Wish Fulfillment Meme
(AKA a slightly different AU meme)

ROLL IT OR DON'T WHATEVER
THIS IS NOW AN ALTERNATE REALITY
(Disclaimer: Characters don't actually have to be aware anything's different and it probably works better if they're not anyway, this is wish fulfillment right here)

SUPERHERO WORLD: Put on your capes and keep your undies on the outside kids, it's time to save the world. Only those with the coolest names and the least crappy powers can survive in a world that doesn't understand. And something about responsibility I guess.
PIRATE WORLD: Because a whole meme dedicated to pirates isn't enough, it's never enough, never. Swash those buckles and put Errol Flynn to shame.
COWBOY WORLD: More lawless outlaws and people who don't need no stinkin' badges. Just make sure you're not the kind who wears flamboyant pink or you might mess up the timeline.
ROCK STAR WORLD: Sex, drugs, and stupid-looking outfits. From Gaga to Mercury to Richards to Jones, these proud innovators of the musical world (and other guys who played music I guess) pioneer new ways to look ridiculous and still get laid all the time. CATCH A PIECE OF THAT MAGIC AND BECOME A JUKE BOX HERO.
ROBOT WORLD: I don't even know anymore I'm just throwing this in here for the hell of it. You're robots. I guess do whatever robots do when they're not fantasizing about calculators.
DETECTIVE WORLD: Hard-boiled flatfoots chase crooked criminals in the black-and-white streets of a vaguely early 1900's America because that's the only place that ever had hard-boiled detectives, shut up, it's historical fact.
POTPOURRI WORLD: ROBOT COWBOY ROCK STARS. WHO ARE ALSO DINOSAURS.

I rescind the apology I was going to give for this meme because robot cowboy rock star dinosaurs.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

Yeah, I know. Man, I didn't expect it to get this complicated.

No kidding. Politics? Corruption? Gang involvement? All out of a simple brownout bank robbery.

My head sort of hurts just thinking about it.

We really know how to pick cases.

Are you sure it's not from dehydration?

It's possible. Or maybe it's both.

[She leans her elbows lightly on the table and starts to massage her forehead]

If you weren't feeling well, you should've said something. [He looks concerned.]

I'll be fine. It's not too bad.

[Though she'll still massaging them, even after the waiter returns with their drinks.]

[Yeah, look how much he believes you right now, Zatanna. He'll be keeping a close eye on you.]

If you're sure.

I'm sure.

[She's just going to ignore that look and take a sip of her glass]

Maybe if we take our minds off the case for a little bit, it'll help. Give us time to recharge.

[He drinks some water.]

So how do you know about this place?

Found it one afternoon while on patrol.

It's clean, quiet, and the food's not half bad either.

All the qualities of a decent restaurant. So, what do you recommend?

Well, personally, I like the Alfredo. But I'm guess you'd want something with actual meat in it, am I right?

Because I'm a guy? That sounds an awful lot like stereotyping.

Hey, if I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

Can't really help you in that department, anyway.

Now I want to order the alfredo just to overthrow your stereotype.

So order it.

We'll match.

Maybe I will. And then that waitress will stare at us again.

I don't mind.

Me neither. But what's with the staring in the first place? It's like she's never seen two detectives having lunch before.

[Casually sips at her water, as she replies:]

Because she thinks we're a couple.

Now where would she get an idea like that?

Beats me.

[He just smiles in turn. When the waitress with a staring problem comes back, he pointedly orders the alfredo.]

I'll have the same.

[Continues to ignore the smirking. Because she really doesn't mind. At all.]

[Good thing she likes the smirking because it's here to stay.

And the waitress just kinda looks back and forth between them. WTF did she interrupt?]