bakerstreet | (no subject)

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[meme] crack

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Wish Fulfillment Meme
(AKA a slightly different AU meme)

ROLL IT OR DON'T WHATEVER
THIS IS NOW AN ALTERNATE REALITY
(Disclaimer: Characters don't actually have to be aware anything's different and it probably works better if they're not anyway, this is wish fulfillment right here)

SUPERHERO WORLD: Put on your capes and keep your undies on the outside kids, it's time to save the world. Only those with the coolest names and the least crappy powers can survive in a world that doesn't understand. And something about responsibility I guess.
PIRATE WORLD: Because a whole meme dedicated to pirates isn't enough, it's never enough, never. Swash those buckles and put Errol Flynn to shame.
COWBOY WORLD: More lawless outlaws and people who don't need no stinkin' badges. Just make sure you're not the kind who wears flamboyant pink or you might mess up the timeline.
ROCK STAR WORLD: Sex, drugs, and stupid-looking outfits. From Gaga to Mercury to Richards to Jones, these proud innovators of the musical world (and other guys who played music I guess) pioneer new ways to look ridiculous and still get laid all the time. CATCH A PIECE OF THAT MAGIC AND BECOME A JUKE BOX HERO.
ROBOT WORLD: I don't even know anymore I'm just throwing this in here for the hell of it. You're robots. I guess do whatever robots do when they're not fantasizing about calculators.
DETECTIVE WORLD: Hard-boiled flatfoots chase crooked criminals in the black-and-white streets of a vaguely early 1900's America because that's the only place that ever had hard-boiled detectives, shut up, it's historical fact.
POTPOURRI WORLD: ROBOT COWBOY ROCK STARS. WHO ARE ALSO DINOSAURS.

I rescind the apology I was going to give for this meme because robot cowboy rock star dinosaurs.

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Over here. [He leads her down a small side-hallway. There are two doors, one for the manager and the other for the assistant manager. P. J. Williams.

...except...do you hear arguing?

Dick stops himself from knocking on the door and listens more closely.]

He's arguing with someone...I think it's about the safe deposit box.

[She presses her ear against the door]

It's the mayor!

[He strains to hear what they're saying. It doesn't help that they can only hear half of the conversation. But it's clear that the assistant manager had failed the mayor in some way. Why only him and not the manager?

He give Zatanna a questioning look. "This is super weird."]

["Way weird" She raised en eyebrow in return.]

[Quietly backing away, she motions with her head for him to follow her back to the car.]

I have a feeling you're not the only one using him as a "source"

Apparently not. But why does the mayor have the assistant manager at a small bank like this in his pocket?

I haven't the slightest.

[He opens the door and flops in the driver's seat, looking thoughtful.]

Me neither. I guess we'll have to find out.

How? It's not like we can ask the mayor directly.

We do the boring thing: research. We need to see if the mayor or the assistant manager were involved with any shady dealings. And we need to know what was in that deposit box.

Town records?

[He nods] Ready for a trip downtown?

I wouldn't mind if you sped a little. The air feels nice.

[Dramatic gasp!] Me? Break laws? Zatanna, I would never.

[And then he grins.] Buckle up and let's see how fast we can go. I say we get there in two minutes, tops.

[She does fasten her buckle, but shows no signs of fear or tenseness.]

I'll time you.

[Another, more mischievous grin.]

Here we go!

[And he floors it.]

[There is no time for words. Only laughter.]

[Two teenagers going 60 and weaving through traffic while laughing their heads off? Just another day in Gotham.

He does an interesting parallel parking job (i.e. he slides into a parking spot) in front of City Hall.]

[She's fanning herself from more than just the heat now]

Nice.

Remind us to do this again sometime.

Thanks.

I will. Maybe next time it'll be a wild car chase.

That would be sweet.

[Getting out, she heads for the main entrance.]

Throw in a couple of explosions and some cool music, and it'll be our finest moment yet.

[Following along.]

The records should be kept in the basement. They're always in the basement.

[Jokingly:] Because keeping it anywhere convenient and well-lit would encourage people to look at them.

I just hope nobody's gone and done a little "cleaning" when it comes to the files.

Like you said. People never actually come down here.

Mostly because we'd have no idea where to start--I didn't think it was possible to fit this many filing cabinets in a single room.

[He walks around, trying to find a sort of filing system.]

It would be so much easier if we knew what kind of dirt we were trying to dig up.