bakerstreet | (no subject)

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Wish Fulfillment Meme
(AKA a slightly different AU meme)

ROLL IT OR DON'T WHATEVER
THIS IS NOW AN ALTERNATE REALITY
(Disclaimer: Characters don't actually have to be aware anything's different and it probably works better if they're not anyway, this is wish fulfillment right here)

SUPERHERO WORLD: Put on your capes and keep your undies on the outside kids, it's time to save the world. Only those with the coolest names and the least crappy powers can survive in a world that doesn't understand. And something about responsibility I guess.
PIRATE WORLD: Because a whole meme dedicated to pirates isn't enough, it's never enough, never. Swash those buckles and put Errol Flynn to shame.
COWBOY WORLD: More lawless outlaws and people who don't need no stinkin' badges. Just make sure you're not the kind who wears flamboyant pink or you might mess up the timeline.
ROCK STAR WORLD: Sex, drugs, and stupid-looking outfits. From Gaga to Mercury to Richards to Jones, these proud innovators of the musical world (and other guys who played music I guess) pioneer new ways to look ridiculous and still get laid all the time. CATCH A PIECE OF THAT MAGIC AND BECOME A JUKE BOX HERO.
ROBOT WORLD: I don't even know anymore I'm just throwing this in here for the hell of it. You're robots. I guess do whatever robots do when they're not fantasizing about calculators.
DETECTIVE WORLD: Hard-boiled flatfoots chase crooked criminals in the black-and-white streets of a vaguely early 1900's America because that's the only place that ever had hard-boiled detectives, shut up, it's historical fact.
POTPOURRI WORLD: ROBOT COWBOY ROCK STARS. WHO ARE ALSO DINOSAURS.

I rescind the apology I was going to give for this meme because robot cowboy rock star dinosaurs.

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[She does fasten her buckle, but shows no signs of fear or tenseness.]

I'll time you.

[Another, more mischievous grin.]

Here we go!

[And he floors it.]

[There is no time for words. Only laughter.]

[Two teenagers going 60 and weaving through traffic while laughing their heads off? Just another day in Gotham.

He does an interesting parallel parking job (i.e. he slides into a parking spot) in front of City Hall.]

[She's fanning herself from more than just the heat now]

Nice.

Remind us to do this again sometime.

Thanks.

I will. Maybe next time it'll be a wild car chase.

That would be sweet.

[Getting out, she heads for the main entrance.]

Throw in a couple of explosions and some cool music, and it'll be our finest moment yet.

[Following along.]

The records should be kept in the basement. They're always in the basement.

[Jokingly:] Because keeping it anywhere convenient and well-lit would encourage people to look at them.

I just hope nobody's gone and done a little "cleaning" when it comes to the files.

Like you said. People never actually come down here.

Mostly because we'd have no idea where to start--I didn't think it was possible to fit this many filing cabinets in a single room.

[He walks around, trying to find a sort of filing system.]

It would be so much easier if we knew what kind of dirt we were trying to dig up.

Nobody ever said this was going to be easy, partner.

[She picks a random file and starts flipping through it]

Well, think mayor and scandals. Anything popping up in the latest tabloids?

[He walks along the rows of file cabinets. Scandal...]

Now that you mention it, I remember reading an article in this lesser-known tabloid a few days ago. It was about his daughter...

The one where she was caught with a suspended license?

Yeah. But why cover that up? Unless there's something else going on with the mayor's daughter.

But that wouldn't have anything to do with the security vault.

At worst, we'd find evidence of him paying off the press or something. And even then...I mean, we already know about it.

[He leans against one of the file cabinets.]

Do you know why her license was suspended?

No. I only skimmed the article while you were reading it.

[Thinkiiiiing...]

It was drugs! She got caught driving "under the influence." Multiple narcotics, if I remember right.

Again, fascinating, but where's the connection?

I'm still not sure. But anytime drugs and a huge cover-up are involved, there's gotta be something big involved.

What do you know about Gotham's drug cartels?

Not much. I'm still relatively new to the city, remember?

Oh, right. [He sits on one of the lower filing cabinets and thinks.]

One of my sources said that the cops were closing in on one cartel and then suddenly backed off. The West Side gang, I think.

I've heard the name in passing, but that's about it.

How much do we know about this particular gang?