memes. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
trashtalker) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2025-05-22 09:00 pm
trashtalker) wrote in bakerstreet2025-05-22 09:00 pm
Entry tags:
1. I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
2. We found her. She's howling on the sink in the bathroom.
3. Where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
4. No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
5. The fact that I fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night.
6. text her
2. We found her. She's howling on the sink in the bathroom.
3. Where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
4. No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
5. The fact that I fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night.
6. text her
1. apparently you told the mayor you wanted to be a trophy wife
2. sorry for kicking you last night but you dont mess with a girs margarita bucket
3. please dont ironically join a cult
4. i miss dr phil when will he come back
5. had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move. again
6. [ text her; utd on all things mcu. love me some castmates. good w/ assumed CR, cross-canon/medium! tag for thunderbolts* spoilers. ]
No I told him that I wanted /his/ trophy wife, it got lost in translation.
1. i told you it's not a hangover
2. well he's starting to trust me more but that's not saying a whole lot. [ shin going undercover to ingratiate himself to a yakuza assassin type inspired by this look which btw is from a sakadays PUZZLE game lmao. long-con. shin is the boss's type but he's still gotta work his way up. you know the drill. ]
3. most people apologize when they shoot someone by accident!
...it was an accident
right?
HEY!
4. press 1 if you're sick! press 2 if you're injured! give me your location either way :|
5. it would take a lot more than that to kill me. no worries there!
6. [ text him your own? for shipping m/m 20+. cool with assumed cr and gen and misfires. ]
1. How many times was he stabbed and do you have it on video?
2. Your puns are only subpar.
3. Carrot cake is not considered a vegetable nor are cookies in the shape of broccoli.
4. How many rubber ducks did you put in the tub? Be honest.
5. [text her!]
2. Your puns are only subpar.
3. Carrot cake is not considered a vegetable nor are cookies in the shape of broccoli.
4. How many rubber ducks did you put in the tub? Be honest.
5. [text her!]
Edited 2025-05-23 04:15 (UTC)
1. Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
2. There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
3. I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet.
4. Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
5. 3pm strippers are depressing.
6. text her
2. There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
3. I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet.
4. Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
5. 3pm strippers are depressing.
6. text her
1. How I take my tea is my own business, thanks very much. Besides, is a drink that's half tea and half honey truly that outlandish? They say honey is very good for you these days, no?
2. It's just a pity I couldn't retrieve my knife. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find quality knives these days?
3. Expect a delivery by bird in about an hour or two. It will be very adorably round and fluffy, unfortunately, but it actually is quite competent. Gray and white speckled feathers.
4. Myriad technological advancements at our fingertips in this day and age, and you're telling me the recording limit for a voicemail is still only a minute? Well...no matter. Guess I'll just have to send you a dozen text messages in a row next time around.
( or wildcard your own! open to castmates or crosscanon, misfires also ok )
2. It's just a pity I couldn't retrieve my knife. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find quality knives these days?
3. Expect a delivery by bird in about an hour or two. It will be very adorably round and fluffy, unfortunately, but it actually is quite competent. Gray and white speckled feathers.
4. Myriad technological advancements at our fingertips in this day and age, and you're telling me the recording limit for a voicemail is still only a minute? Well...no matter. Guess I'll just have to send you a dozen text messages in a row next time around.
( or wildcard your own! open to castmates or crosscanon, misfires also ok )
Okay but you never needed an excuse to do that before.
1) I'm telling you, the hot tub won't lead to anything more than awkward splashing
2) I took off my shirt at the party and some guy took it home???
3) and i mean this in the nicest way possible: no. never again. NEVER. AGAIN.
4) in my defense I AM more used to "shots shots shots" being used on the battlefield so...
5) text him;
2) I took off my shirt at the party and some guy took it home???
3) and i mean this in the nicest way possible: no. never again. NEVER. AGAIN.
4) in my defense I AM more used to "shots shots shots" being used on the battlefield so...
5) text him;
1. so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
2. Let the record show that I hate your ass.
3. I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
4. If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
5. Text him!
2. Let the record show that I hate your ass.
3. I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
4. If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
5. Text him!
1. i will fight you. thats not a threat thats a prediction.
2. it is so much easier to make a list of things i have done than to figure out what EVERYONE has done by my age that ive missed.
3. how do you do those little faces in your texts??????
4. stop sending me ikea shop pages for things you think i need in my home. if i cannot pronounce djungelskog, i don't need one.
5. Text him! Crosscanon, assumed CR, misfires all welcome.
2. it is so much easier to make a list of things i have done than to figure out what EVERYONE has done by my age that ive missed.
3. how do you do those little faces in your texts??????
4. stop sending me ikea shop pages for things you think i need in my home. if i cannot pronounce djungelskog, i don't need one.
5. Text him! Crosscanon, assumed CR, misfires all welcome.
1. How much for that CCTV footage?
2. Not now, love
Daddy’s tailing the President
3. If you don’t hear from me again, just know that your tits were the best I ever had the pleasure of seeing
4. Stop sharing your location
It’s like you’re asking for some ornery cunt to turn up at your front door
5. Now that's confidential
Bring me Noir's head in a box and I'll consider telling you
01. You left your shoes but remembered to take the vodka. I see where your priorities are.
02. My pizza lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
03. I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
04. Did you die? If you did, just text "dead" to me so that I know.
05. If Manny starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed the kitchen.
1) This "Grand Mariner" does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
2) He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
3) In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
4) For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
5) Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercussions.
6) [ Text him! ]
[[ Finished one ending of the game (V) + all the side-content, just mark for spoilers! ]]
2) He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
3) In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
4) For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
5) Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercussions.
6) [ Text him! ]
[[ Finished one ending of the game (V) + all the side-content, just mark for spoilers! ]]
I do admit to the latter part of that statement.
( 1 ) Would you like to be my long distance no commitment private and secret situationship?
( 2 ) Some of you act like murder is such a big deal.
( 3 ) "You're so manipulative"? Gods forbid I use my persuasive language skills.
( 4 ) How are you going to believe concrete evidence over me?
[ super OTA. cross-canon ✅ assumed cr ✅ misfires ✅ come at me! ]
( 2 ) Some of you act like murder is such a big deal.
( 3 ) "You're so manipulative"? Gods forbid I use my persuasive language skills.
( 4 ) How are you going to believe concrete evidence over me?
[ super OTA. cross-canon ✅ assumed cr ✅ misfires ✅ come at me! ]
3 (someone might be Gale origin romancing Astarion and recently had this...)
tangledweave
2025-05-23 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
It's not so much your language skills, as a stand alone, that is the problem. It's the whole package. Your tone, your demeanour, knowing exactly what to say and do to get what you want. Or, to just get under someone else's skin.
I've never felt more confused, mocked and seen by someone saying 'I love you' before.
I've never felt more confused, mocked and seen by someone saying 'I love you' before.
1. Here's a cute date idea: I wrap you in your favorite blanket, put you in an oil drum full of cement, and bury you out in the desert.
2. Thank you for always listening to me even though the only language I'm fluent in is Complete Nonsense.
3. Unfortunately, you weren't as excited to see me as I hoped you would be. You know what happens next, don't you? 🪓
4. It's us!
[ link ]
5. [ text him! ota, assumed cr, and crosscanon are loved🩷 ]
2. Thank you for always listening to me even though the only language I'm fluent in is Complete Nonsense.
3. Unfortunately, you weren't as excited to see me as I hoped you would be. You know what happens next, don't you? 🪓
4. It's us!
[ link ]
5. [ text him! ota, assumed cr, and crosscanon are loved🩷 ]
Edited 2025-05-23 04:19 (UTC)
1. i just learned that i could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe soooo
are you free this weekend???
2. you wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
3. hey
if you go to jail tonight?
call me
i wanna get out of work
4. Text him, misfires and assumed CR welcome
are you free this weekend???
2. you wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
3. hey
if you go to jail tonight?
call me
i wanna get out of work
4. Text him, misfires and assumed CR welcome
Edited 2025-05-23 04:19 (UTC)
1. ╰( ⁰ ਊ ⁰ )━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ <= me casting a spell for kisses!
2. fun sized candy bars are NOT fun when you've eaten 37 of them
3. in dog beers I’ve only had one!
4. all I want is wine, cuddling, and some light groping
5. [Text him! Misfires, etc welcome!]
2. fun sized candy bars are NOT fun when you've eaten 37 of them
3. in dog beers I’ve only had one!
4. all I want is wine, cuddling, and some light groping
5. [Text him! Misfires, etc welcome!]
1. [A crude drawing of a dove on what looks like the back of a napkin.]
2. Depends. If ur wearing a thong, I can be there in 5.
3. I didn’t finish. She kept bringing up Batman and how the fuck am I supposed to cum thinking about the guy who take prescription fart pills?
Anyway
What r u wearing?
4. Eagly’s been asking about u. Like wondering when ur gonna stop by. That sorta thing.
5. seeing visions
search visions people dead
google I see dead people
DUDE
THAT IS SO GOOD
you should draw doves for a museum man, i'm serious
THAT IS SO GOOD
you should draw doves for a museum man, i'm serious
1. Missing something? ;P [An image is posted immediately after of Ranma taking a selfie with the missing 'something' in question, in his hand all while he's giving the camera a stupid grin.]
2. You kept coddling up to me and trying to kiss me every twenty seconds. You were THAT wasted.
3. Relax, it was only a few broken bones. No biggie.
4. I can explain. Maybe. Depends on how pissed you are and what you're pissed about.
5. Having big boobs is great, that's why they're one letter off from boon. :P
6. How're the bruises? They healing all right?
0. [WILD CARD! Crosscanon, assumed CR, misfires, all welcomed and adored here!]
2. You kept coddling up to me and trying to kiss me every twenty seconds. You were THAT wasted.
3. Relax, it was only a few broken bones. No biggie.
4. I can explain. Maybe. Depends on how pissed you are and what you're pissed about.
5. Having big boobs is great, that's why they're one letter off from boon. :P
6. How're the bruises? They healing all right?
0. [WILD CARD! Crosscanon, assumed CR, misfires, all welcomed and adored here!]
( 1 ) No, I actually noticed that social cue. I just don't know what to do with it.
( 2 ) I can fix me. I have to do everything my fucking self around here.
( 3 ) Please text with purpose. We cannot be 'hey hey'ing every day.
( 4 ) Grounding techniques do not work for me. Especially in public. "Five things I can see"? I see a bunch of people pissing me off.
[ OTA!! cross-canon my beloved ]
( 2 ) I can fix me. I have to do everything my fucking self around here.
( 3 ) Please text with purpose. We cannot be 'hey hey'ing every day.
( 4 ) Grounding techniques do not work for me. Especially in public. "Five things I can see"? I see a bunch of people pissing me off.
[ OTA!! cross-canon my beloved ]
What about the one where you find things that are different colours?
I've tried the five senses one, but that doesn't help much.
"Name something you hear." Me, losing my lunch.
I've tried the five senses one, but that doesn't help much.
"Name something you hear." Me, losing my lunch.
1. You smell like cigarettes and cheap booze. My favorite.
2. So hiii! It seems like I’ve been kidnapped and am now being held for ransom. Again <3
3. Why did I just wake up in a wedding dress?
4. Feel like playing a fun little game of strip poker?
5. Text her!
2. So hiii! It seems like I’ve been kidnapped and am now being held for ransom. Again <3
3. Why did I just wake up in a wedding dress?
4. Feel like playing a fun little game of strip poker?
5. Text her!
[AS JINX] a. listen, who are u going to believe? the genius and the greatest engineer who EVER walked on earth, or some fatso schmuck with a peg leg who says i ALLEDGELY smashed his sorry excuse of a camera and used the leftovers for my BETTER creation so now i'm responsible?
[AS AU POWDER] b. ... Word of advice? Never eat potato chips and then drink milk as your beverage of choice. 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
[AS JINX] c. dont panic, but there might be an angry mob heading ur way. but dont sweat bullets about it! i've got u covered. 🧨🔥
[AS AU POWDER] d. Someone just asked me out on a date and I don't know how to break it to them gently. Got any tips?
e. (text her // either version is good!)
Is the mob angry at something I did, or something you did?
01. The postman told me he's off to Spain tomorrow. I asked if he was going to Parcelona. He didn't even smile :(
02. Hey sorry I can't make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes
03. Not to brag but I'm on hold and my call is important to them
04. I appreciate seagulls. They're not noble but I'll stick up for them. The shore should be a lively place full of thieves
05. Man I just do not know how to act around warm bread
06. [ text him! ]
02. Hey sorry I can't make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes
03. Not to brag but I'm on hold and my call is important to them
04. I appreciate seagulls. They're not noble but I'll stick up for them. The shore should be a lively place full of thieves
05. Man I just do not know how to act around warm bread
06. [ text him! ]
1) We better not still have a duck by the time I get home.
2) well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
3) There was wine in the oven. I lit it before I noticed.
4) You called my chest compassionate. What does that even mean?
5) text him;
2) well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
3) There was wine in the oven. I lit it before I noticed.
4) You called my chest compassionate. What does that even mean?
5) text him;
I have several questions. Namely, what kind of wine and why was it there? And who put it there?
And if Lucanis knew.
Also are you hurt?
And if Lucanis knew.
Also are you hurt?
Edited 2025-05-23 04:30 (UTC)
1. I think I accidentally broke into someone's home, please prepare some bail money or at least plan a speedy rescue if the cops catch up to me.
2. I'm playing a game called Red Flags and I swear it was made about my love life. I should get some kind of acknowledgment on the box.
3. Your new job is to text me every day at about 1pm and make sure that I've eaten.
4. I'm sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers.
5. If you have to specify that I need to put pants on, then I think it should be obvious that I'm not going.
6. [Text her! Misfires welcome!]
2. I'm playing a game called Red Flags and I swear it was made about my love life. I should get some kind of acknowledgment on the box.
3. Your new job is to text me every day at about 1pm and make sure that I've eaten.
4. I'm sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers.
5. If you have to specify that I need to put pants on, then I think it should be obvious that I'm not going.
6. [Text her! Misfires welcome!]
1. I might believe in peace, but my brother won’t when he hears about what you did.
2. Why is there a blood stained shirt in my living room..?
3. I’ve had about six coffees at this point. I promise I’m fine. You can start worrying when I request the caffeine IV.
4. Please tell me I’m imagining things and those were not gunshots I heard outside my office.
5. ( Feel free to text her anything! )
2. Why is there a blood stained shirt in my living room..?
3. I’ve had about six coffees at this point. I promise I’m fine. You can start worrying when I request the caffeine IV.
4. Please tell me I’m imagining things and those were not gunshots I heard outside my office.
5. ( Feel free to text her anything! )
Page 2 of 10