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bakerstreet2025-05-22 09:00 pm
trashtalker) wrote in bakerstreet2025-05-22 09:00 pm
Entry tags:
1. how did you get this number? what do you want?
2. i wanted to help the cat, but now we're both stuck up here.
3. ghosts are real, so it makes sense other things like that are too. [ for whatever reason mafuyu is canonically sensitive to the supernatural so here we go. ]
4. thank you for helping me. sorry for the trouble. [ if later on the timeline, maybe your character helped mafuyu get away from the crowds or aggressive fans? stalker? choose your level of drama. if model au could be similar situation, etc. ]
5. it's raining pretty hard and i didn't bring an umbrella. but this convenience store is open late.
6. [ text your own/misfires welcome. basic info and some more stuff/ideas to run with on his old emp ]
1. i just walked downstairs to find YOUR FRIEND wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt.
2. I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, passed out in a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and Iām now realizing how drunk I am.
3. I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
4. Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
5. a girl walked up to me and asked if I knew you. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
6. Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
7. Text her!
2. I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, passed out in a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and Iām now realizing how drunk I am.
3. I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
4. Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
5. a girl walked up to me and asked if I knew you. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
6. Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
7. Text her!
I've been told that most women have one breast that is a bit bigger than the other so maybe he just really noticed yours?
one ā There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
two ā i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
three ā There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
four ā wildcard
1. The world is going to end because I slept with him.
2. There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it.
3. Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
4. Please stop rearranging my mugs. And my fridge for that matter.
2. There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it.
3. Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
4. Please stop rearranging my mugs. And my fridge for that matter.
Great. The world is going to end. Could you call Miss J and end our relationship while you're at it?
one ā Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
two ā I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
three ā You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
four ā wildcard
1. my birthday gift to u is a concussion
2. nah 'drop dead' is code for 'ilu bff 4ever'
3. ā½ + 8==Dļø = āā“ļøĖļ½”ā
4. my hungover is the world's problem
2. nah 'drop dead' is code for 'ilu bff 4ever'
3. ā½ + 8==Dļø = āā“ļøĖļ½”ā
4. my hungover is the world's problem
one ā I do have a moral compass! I canāt help it if it only points at food
two ā You know it's a good May 2-2 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
three ā I CANāT BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
four ā wildcard
[ Was this for Kai or someone else? Probably. But Haji's number is so close to the other. Mao was honestly the only reason he remembers to charge the phone he was given. She said it would make Saya sad if he forgot.
...is typing keeps popping up, stopping and starting again. ]
I have done nothing of the sort.
...is typing keeps popping up, stopping and starting again. ]
I have done nothing of the sort.
1. Please don't ironically join a cult.
2. Remind me to tell you about the dream where I'm fighting a superhero whose only weakness is Sunkist.
3. He literally asked permission to hit on me. I felt obligated to at least hear him out.
4. Sometimes I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
5. Choose your own/text her first.
2. Remind me to tell you about the dream where I'm fighting a superhero whose only weakness is Sunkist.
3. He literally asked permission to hit on me. I felt obligated to at least hear him out.
4. Sometimes I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
5. Choose your own/text her first.
one ā no I am not putting on high heels, stepping on you and letting you call me 'mommy'
two ā Sheās the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
three ā had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
four ā wildcard
one ā The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
two ā Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE-". to the what?
three ā Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
four ā wildcard
1. I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
2. I mentioned your name at this party and a girl started crying.
3. it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
4. I wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our relationship.
5. Iām not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
1. So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
2. I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
3. You could never motorboat her... You'd have to motor-titanic her
4. I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
5. Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
2. I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
3. You could never motorboat her... You'd have to motor-titanic her
4. I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
5. Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
[ voicetesting, plz be gentle. ]
001. No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
002. The good news is I finally used my Captain America waffle maker to make Captain America waffles.
003. I thought it was your cat but I was wrong, your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
004. Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people.
005. You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
006. [ bring your own text! ]
001. No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
002. The good news is I finally used my Captain America waffle maker to make Captain America waffles.
003. I thought it was your cat but I was wrong, your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
004. Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people.
005. You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
006. [ bring your own text! ]
Do Captain America waffles taste better than regular waffles?
ONE. It requires dancing, which isn't my fortƩ.
TWO. The gift was earrings. Apparently others noticed I almost never change them.
THREE. If you want my notes I'll forward them to you. No need to meet.
FOUR. I did not help you back because I like you. I helped you back because you fell on top of me and it left me with little choice. Consider drinking less.
FIVE. What you are describing is called a concussion.
TABULA RASA. ( send your own. canon, crosscanon, ocs. assumed cr. aus. misfires. does it really even MATTER with this guy?yes.)
1. Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
2. We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
3. You were so drunk last night you thought you had a new quirk that pushed the automatic door open.
4. New rule: You am no longer allowed to speak.
5. Where you at
6. you text him
2. We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
3. You were so drunk last night you thought you had a new quirk that pushed the automatic door open.
4. New rule: You am no longer allowed to speak.
5. Where you at
6. you text him
1. i went to collect something from the bathroom and he just whipped it out easy as you please and started pissing in the loo next to me. so i drilled his brains out with a pair of tiny drills and i don't even feel a little bad about it
2. i swear to god sometimes all a powerful man wants is a good enema
3. i actually miss the people at the reform club. they never ask any awkward questions. but i'd have to be Naughty Nurse and i just can't do that to myself again. for one thing i can't fit into the costume anymore!
4. i wonder what he gave me? certainly not pain killers
5. if i had a sovereign for every time a powerful man with a huge ego called me a witch i'd have... well a sovereign and also fuck him
6. i think the thing i really failed to foresee is that he'd find a way to knock me up while i was wearing a full body suit. those bloody things don't come off easy
7. god i need a hug and a grilled cheese cut sideways
8. i don't want to breastfeed and no one is going to make me
9. TEXT HER
2. i swear to god sometimes all a powerful man wants is a good enema
3. i actually miss the people at the reform club. they never ask any awkward questions. but i'd have to be Naughty Nurse and i just can't do that to myself again. for one thing i can't fit into the costume anymore!
4. i wonder what he gave me? certainly not pain killers
5. if i had a sovereign for every time a powerful man with a huge ego called me a witch i'd have... well a sovereign and also fuck him
6. i think the thing i really failed to foresee is that he'd find a way to knock me up while i was wearing a full body suit. those bloody things don't come off easy
7. god i need a hug and a grilled cheese cut sideways
8. i don't want to breastfeed and no one is going to make me
9. TEXT HER
I can provide you with one of those things, anyway. So long as you swear not to reveal my grilled cheese making secrets.
Rough day, I take it?
Rough day, I take it?
1. He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
2. Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
3. I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
4. You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
a) Again, I did not call him stupid. I asked him if he needed help with his stupid.
b) So Mordin sent me a vid and I may have accidentally forwarded that to everyone on the team and as a result I am resigning. Let me off the ship.
c) You kept putting handfuls of the goldfish crackers in the aquarium. I tried to talk you down.
d) I could get snacks we can both eat and go down on you for an hour. I'm free.
e) text him, idk, i'm not ur mom.
b) So Mordin sent me a vid and I may have accidentally forwarded that to everyone on the team and as a result I am resigning. Let me off the ship.
c) You kept putting handfuls of the goldfish crackers in the aquarium. I tried to talk you down.
d) I could get snacks we can both eat and go down on you for an hour. I'm free.
e) text him, idk, i'm not ur mom.
1. I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me!!
2. FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
3. Why is your signature on my underwear?
4. I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
5. I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
6. Text him
2. FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
3. Why is your signature on my underwear?
4. I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
5. I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
6. Text him
1. I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
2. I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
3. I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
4. Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
5. My ideal friend would be my pig.
6. You text her
2. I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
3. I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
4. Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
5. My ideal friend would be my pig.
6. You text her
1. i was trying to sext and he replied with "we fall asleep in each others arms" ??? i give up
2. maybe i'll get a cat and make him an internet celebrity
3. have you read what people are saying about us on twitter??
4. i told my parents we were dating because i thought it would piss them off but instead they're asking you over for dinner. you can NEVER come here.
5. save me!!! if i have to use the all-in-one shampoo conditioner and bodywash one more time i'm gonna kill myself
2. maybe i'll get a cat and make him an internet celebrity
3. have you read what people are saying about us on twitter??
4. i told my parents we were dating because i thought it would piss them off but instead they're asking you over for dinner. you can NEVER come here.
5. save me!!! if i have to use the all-in-one shampoo conditioner and bodywash one more time i'm gonna kill myself
they keep saying we need to get married.
āį¢. ą¼ .į¢ā
āį¢. ą¼ .į¢ā
1. I feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
2. Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
3. its taking every last moral i have not to steal this horse
4. I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my youth I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
5. I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
6. My uncle came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Aw, don't say that. Those things make the good times easier to appreciate, right?
a. I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbly water and chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
b. He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
c. I donāt have the time, patience or blood alcohol level to deal with her
d. For what itās worth I didnāt think hitting you as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
e. Solved the mystery. The table is broken because I had sex on it.
f. [ text her! ]
b. He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
c. I donāt have the time, patience or blood alcohol level to deal with her
d. For what itās worth I didnāt think hitting you as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
e. Solved the mystery. The table is broken because I had sex on it.
f. [ text her! ]
Oh great, yeah, let me tell the carpenter that information.
a. Iām gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a ābrilliantā idea, I woke up to the kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through the TV.
b. I get the sense she is planning new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex.
c. Whose underwear are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pictures of it?
d. Oh god, you're drunk again aren't you?
e. [ text him! ]
b. I get the sense she is planning new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex.
c. Whose underwear are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pictures of it?
d. Oh god, you're drunk again aren't you?
e. [ text him! ]
Recreating the Medieval Times restaurant for 'we have food at home' night was pretty funny, you have to admit.
1. and if i don't report in what are they gonna do? fire me??
2. you want your jacket back or not?
3. the wings are bullet proof. not my body. stupid.
4. well they tried reassigning me but everyone keeps dying.
5. i can't feel my legs. that's new.
6. ( text your own. open to misfires. m/m )
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