Asks from the heart

[processions]

ask questions from the heart: the original flavor Finally! You can ask all the questions about matters of the heart, love, and romance that have been burning that hole through your curiosity. Ask away! Delve deep! Nothing is off-limits! Except for that. RULES ○ Comment with your character. ○ They're asked love-adjacent and related questions!

Comments

[assholic]

... That's a shit answer, Google. Jesus. Okay. The real reason most women, or at least, why I would like you in grey sweatpants, is because if you're wearing boxers or going commando under it, it shows. And it shows in a way that makes my mouth water.

[Google. You suck.]

[endof_theline]

[ He has to laugh, because that really is a shit answer. Thanks AI. ]

Oh. Well that makes a hell of a lot more sense. Adding grey sweats to the list. Nothing like being comfortable in that "no-makeup makeup" and getting you all hot and bothered.

[assholic]

I'm going to have to call them no-makeup pants now.

[Google gave them that at least.]

[endof_theline]

Better than dick pants.

[assholic]

Dick bulge pants, my darling holder of the bulge.

[endof_theline]

We're totally sticking with no-makeup pants.

[assholic]

So... if I make you have an erection while wearing them, is that me adding some contour?

[endof_theline]

I think so? I... actually have no idea.

[assholic]

Things to think about in the shower.

[Was she being a shit? She was being a shit.]

[endof_theline]

That's exactly what you ponder in the shower, I'm sure.

So. You wanna go do this shopping thing?

[assholic]

Eager now, huh? Did I get you in a mood?

[She liked that.]

[endof_theline]

You always get me in the mood. Without a doubt.

But...yeah. That's why I was asking about it earlier. I wouldn't mind going.

[assholic]

Do you want to go like, right now? Ice cream first or after?

[endof_theline]

Ice cream? Is that part of it?

[assholic]

It can be. It should be.

[endof_theline]

Alright- let's sex shop, and sweat shop, then sweet shop.

[He's so corny, but he's your husband now so deal with it.]

[assholic]

Normally I'm not one who likes to shop, but... well. How can I say no to that adorable face?

[And because of the mood she was in, she crouched down and wriggled a finger at the front of his pants.]

How could I?

[endof_theline]

[ He laughs, dragging his hands down his face. ]

Are you talking to my dick?

[assholic]

Shh. Your dick and I are having a meaningful conversation. What's that, boy? You want me to make sure he gets something that makes you play peek-a-boo? Oh, I think we can manage that.

[endof_theline]

[ He's standing here turning bright, bright red. ]

Oh my god. Boy???

[assholic]

Well, it's a dick, James. Unless you have a name for it...

[Guess who was having fun with this...]

[endof_theline]

Well it's not a dog.

[He bets she is!]

[assholic]

Hey, naming your junk is not a new thing. Guys name their dicks all the time. Just like girls name their tits.

[She leaned in and gave the front of his pants a quick kiss, then stood up.]

[endof_theline]

[ Well now she's just gonna get him hard. Or she would have, if they weren't talking about dick and tit names. ]

Listen. I can't handle the sex shop and genital naming on the same day. Can we just-- save that for another day?

[assholic]

Oh, I bet you can handle more than you think you can...

[Now she leaned in and gave his lips a kiss, smiling.]