bakerstreet | Asks from the heart

[ He can feel the slow build of it, overtaking his body- his limbs to the tips of his fingers and his toes. His breathing becomes heavier far too quickly, and for a moment it's entirely overwhelming. He doesn't know what to do with it.

Jesus christ is he supposed to remember some kind of code word right now? He can't even think. ]

Jess... Jess!

[She slows, but she doesn't stop. Not with her finger. She moves her mouth away.]

I told you I was going to make you come without touching your dick. In fact, I made a promise.

I...

[ Fuck. ]

I don't think I can do it.

What, come? Why not?

[That was surprising. Enough so that she stopped entirely. It would at least let him articulate it a little more clearly.]

[ He drops his head down heavy against the mattress when she stops, trying to catch his breath, trying to get his thoughts together. ]

I don't know.

[he says finally, suddenly feeling very vulnerable in this position. He breathes some more, then rolls off the pillows onto his back, dragging his hands across his face before he looks at her. He doesn't often feel ashamed around her anymore, but he definitely feels weird.]

Can you come here?

[She watches him, trying to figure out what line got crossed and if she needs to apologize or not. He rolls over and asks for her, and she crawls, naked over top of him and lays down on his body, resting her chin on his chest.]

Are you okay?

[ Jesus, no. There's nothing for her to apologize for. He'd hate to think he made her feel that way, even for a second. If anything, he's the one who should.

When she comes closer, moving to lay on top of him, he feels like he can even his breath out a little better. ]

Yeah- I think so. Sorry.

Nothing to be sorry for. This is your first time with a lot of stuff, James. That's why I wanted to go slow. Fingers and not the toys. Not yet. If you haven't ever had any kind of ass play, that's a big jump.

[ He runs his fingers through her hair, tilting his head up so he can kiss her softly. ]

Yeah- that's it. It's a lot, and it's new, and... it felt overwhelmingly good. I think sometimes my stupid, fucked up brain doesn't know what to do with things like that. Like it's programmed not to deal.

I know. I'm fucked up. I'm...

[Sorry, he almost says about that too, but he stops himself.]

You're a little fucked up, but it's not your fault. I have that too.

[She closed her eyes and sighed as he played with her hair, a small smile at her lips.]

We have time, James. All the goddamn time in the world. They gave you pain. They don't get to take away your pleasure. That's mine.

[ It helps to have her on top of him like this. Her skin against his. It's real, it's good, it's someone he gets to be close to despite everything. Someone who loves him despite it all.

Looking at her face, her smile, it makes a world of difference. ]

Can we try again like this? Where I can see your face? I need to be connected to you. I wanna be connected to you.

We can, but it means the oral aspect is going to be limited. Hard to eat your ass and show you my pretty eyes when I'm struggling to breathe through your balls.

[She grinned, because it was an attempt to lighten the mood.]

[ It works, cause it makes him laugh a little, tucking her hair back behind her ears. ]

Is it okay if I get to see your pretty eyes while your fingers are inside of me?

That's okay. It'll still make you have the most intense orgasm you've ever had in your life. You'll just know that there's a level above that for another time when I can add my mouth to it.

[She nuzzled against his hand, glad that it was something relatively simple. Overwhelming sensations and the need for a break. They could do that.]

Sounds like a real good thing to work up to.

[ His shoulders relax again, and slowly the rest of him does as well. Overwhelming sensations for someone who was tortured as the Winter Soldier for decades- he's been good about it for the most part, but sometimes it's just too much. He's grateful as hell that he's with someone so incredible, so understanding. ]

I love you.

[She'd be blushing if she knew what he was thinking about her. She moved up to kiss him, enjoying the feel of naked flesh on naked flesh. She hummed as she kissed him, eyes closed before she could draw back to look down at her.]

I love you, too. Now, do you want me to keep working on you? You can lay like you are. We'll see how... deep I can get from here.

[ He kisses back, letting it relax him. He's always better when they're like this. When she's kissing him, looking at him, laying on top of him.

He looks up at her when she pulls back, giving her a small nod. ]

I wanna try like this. If that's ok. I just wanna see your face, even if you have to move down lower.

[So maybe just- not on his stomach, staring into the mattress. He likes looking at her.]

I'm okay with that.

[She kissed him again, moving up to her knees so she could reach for the lube again. She didn't want to go in without more prep, but she gave him a curious look before she glanced down at the finger vibrator.]

How would you feel about trying this on the outside? Where my mouth was.

[ He smiles, relieved that he didn't just ruin the whole thing. He knows she'd scold him for even thinking like that though, and that's a relief too. He's bound to have a hard time with this kind of stuff from time to time, and he's glad she understands.

He considers the vibrator, then nods. ]

Okay. Let's try it.

[Her smile turned a little more wicked, and she bit her lip as she moved to fit the vibe on her thumb. She figured she could work into him with her fingers after she'd gotten him a little frazzled with the vibrator.]

Remember, it's okay to tell me to stop or to ask for a break. We're not in a rush, James.

[ He grabs one of the pillows and stuffs it under his head, nodding. ]

I know. Thank you. And- if you wanna stop we can too. I know this is... really slow going.

James.

[She gave him a level look, then rolled her eyes at him.]

I have you naked, oiled up, and all ready to let me play with you. We bought toys. You went to a sex store with me. I'm horny as shit and watching you get off and enjoy all this? That doesn't cool me down, babe.

Okay.

[He says with a smile, all those butterflies in his stomach fluttering around there again. He lays back and relaxes, sliding his leg along her skin.]

Let's keep going, then.

Okay.

[She sets the vibe to low, then moves so her finger presses in against his ass. She works him with that a little, just a finger gliding into him, then she starts to make it two. And when she does that, her thumb moves to his perineum, pressing lightly against that spot with the small vibrator.]

[ Right off the bat it makes him suck in a breath, and it's a nice distraction for the way her fingers feel pressing into him again. Not that it's bad- not at all. He just has to work back up to that deep, intense feeling. ]

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