memes. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
trashtalker) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2025-05-22 09:00 pm
trashtalker) wrote in bakerstreet2025-05-22 09:00 pm
Entry tags:
1. and if i don't report in what are they gonna do? fire me??
2. you want your jacket back or not?
3. the wings are bullet proof. not my body. stupid.
4. well they tried reassigning me but everyone keeps dying.
5. i can't feel my legs. that's new.
6. ( text your own. open to misfires. m/m )
i. I am almost positive Gavin wrote my phone number on a wall somewhere.
ii. I'm not dignifying voice texts by listening to them.
iii. They made a robot out of pillows, which felt wrong. But it looked very cool.
iv. He called me sex Switzerland.
v. text him!
(ooc: I was logged in as Gav, so if you might want to do something here he is !!! I saw your tag for Hank though and will work on that too. 💖)
—
Was just TELLING you that I didn’t put your name anywhere.
[He did. And he was yelling in the voice message. Quite ear grating.
Connor’s number is, unfortunately, scrawled in just about every bar bathroom in the city by now.
The shitty bars, anyway.]
What makes you think I did anything, dipshit?
1. They told me I could be the chaperone if I accompanied them for 'young people stuff'
... I am not that much older than them!
2. You left an assortment of your things in my bed. Considering how responsible you are I find this a little what do they say now...'sus'
3. Have you woken up yet? Your stamina seemed to be running out by the time you left and I find myself concerned.
4. Oh! I forgot to remind you, don't forget to bring the mask!
5. Should I be concerned on why so much of our furniture is broken? Was there a fight I do not remember?
1. The most annoying thing about having guards follow you everywhere is they refuse to help out. No they won't carry my shopping. No they won't scratch between my shoulder blades. No they will not go get me a coffee.
2. I had a dream where we had to spar in an arena, shirtless, with a crowd chanting around us. It was incredibly stirring.
3. Taaaash and Iwent drunkng ans i thInk i lodt my phrine.
4. TEXT HIM
Normally, when people say 'I had a dream about you', they leave the rest to the imagination.
... Only shirtless?
... Only shirtless?
1. I made you
2. Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or peeing.
3. Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going.
4. Bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
5. she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
6. Text her
2. Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or peeing.
3. Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going.
4. Bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
5. she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
6. Text her
1) We might need to set an extra place at the table tonight.
2) At least I don’t think we ended up regretting last night as much as those who started the fight did.
3) Sorry I ran out this morning. Breakfast is in the kitchen.
4) Let me know how much I owe you for the cleaning. Also, sorry about bleeding on your couch.
5) You’d think criminals could get a little more creative than the nonstop dancing with the devil quips.
6) Text him! Good with misfires, assumed CR, and crosscanon.
2) At least I don’t think we ended up regretting last night as much as those who started the fight did.
3) Sorry I ran out this morning. Breakfast is in the kitchen.
4) Let me know how much I owe you for the cleaning. Also, sorry about bleeding on your couch.
5) You’d think criminals could get a little more creative than the nonstop dancing with the devil quips.
6) Text him! Good with misfires, assumed CR, and crosscanon.
one I'm just saying, there's a certain freedom when you know you're not going to remember anything the next day.
two but I swear, if you have video of me.
three hey, I'm all for honesty, but let's not get carried away.
four did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
five I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
wildcard or text him idk
surveillance footage of you slipping and landing on your ass?I mean it's not the prettiest video out there but...1) How did you know that ‘I’ll owe you’ were the three little words I love to hear?
2) I’m alive. Don’t say I never communicate.
3) Before you inquire, yes. A fountain was involved.
4) I have you to be the better person for me.
5) I have him more or less intact.
6) Message him! Good with misfires, assumed CR, or crosscanon.
2) I’m alive. Don’t say I never communicate.
3) Before you inquire, yes. A fountain was involved.
4) I have you to be the better person for me.
5) I have him more or less intact.
6) Message him! Good with misfires, assumed CR, or crosscanon.
a. For the record you asked me to make all your clothes pink. You said it'd be funny! No holding it against me that I did it.
b. I've got video of you drunk at Disneyland having an entire conversation with an animatronic chef mouse. What will you give me to delete it?
c. I really thought I'd be making a real difference with my powers. Instead I'm providing free endless drinks at an all night party...
d. Did I text you any pictures last night?? Please please please say no. Please.
e. They're trying to get me to explain the point of my cape. Is it being cute not good enough?
b. I've got video of you drunk at Disneyland having an entire conversation with an animatronic chef mouse. What will you give me to delete it?
c. I really thought I'd be making a real difference with my powers. Instead I'm providing free endless drinks at an all night party...
d. Did I text you any pictures last night?? Please please please say no. Please.
e. They're trying to get me to explain the point of my cape. Is it being cute not good enough?
That sounds like an amazing power to me! Much more creative than just regrowing limbs.
1. i cant tell which is worse. that its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
2. crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. it's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
3. i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night.
2. crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. it's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
3. i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night.
1. I am not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead wife.
2. It must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do. My condolences.
3. I think my biggest regret in life is was fucking you in the science museum bathroom.
4. Why is there a bite mark in my bar of soap?
5. They kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats.
2. It must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do. My condolences.
3. I think my biggest regret in life is was fucking you in the science museum bathroom.
4. Why is there a bite mark in my bar of soap?
5. They kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats.
1. we still on for Manwhore Monday?
2. her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you got plans tomorrow
3. dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
4. it is NEVER not funny to me when i'm sitting at a table and ive touched the crotch of every single person i'm sitting with
5. you bet your firm but soft ass i miss you
6. i'm just saying when she eventually does come out to me i'm gonna remind her of all the chappelle roan concerts in the shower. like you're not that slick kid
[icons are old but i'm caught up on new shit for the most part. dc gave him his daughter and his family and friends back so i am willing to entertain newer comic canon now lol]
2. her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you got plans tomorrow
3. dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
4. it is NEVER not funny to me when i'm sitting at a table and ive touched the crotch of every single person i'm sitting with
5. you bet your firm but soft ass i miss you
6. i'm just saying when she eventually does come out to me i'm gonna remind her of all the chappelle roan concerts in the shower. like you're not that slick kid
[icons are old but i'm caught up on new shit for the most part. dc gave him his daughter and his family and friends back so i am willing to entertain newer comic canon now lol]
Edited 2025-05-23 06:58 (UTC)
I still think we could have put the word 'harlot' in there, give it some pizazz.1. Magik airlines is down for the night. Figure out how to get places yourselves!
2. He saw my hons and said they just make him 'more horny' and laughed. Taking suggestions on punishments now.
3. Vote: what's worse out of these: cursed to never taste, become a were-racoon, or becoming a wormface at night?
4. Hope you're not still hungover because we're going on a mission!
5. Gotten your party invitations yet? I helped design them this year.
one You sold your soul to a demon running a three-card monte game, and you think I'm the weird one?
two No, you owe me. You made me run.
three That's the thing about the moon. It changes.
four I left him tied to your gate. You're welcome.
five Boo.
wildcard or text him idk
1. Your horse hates me. I mean it. Every time it looks at me, I swear it's plotting my demise.
2. Why is everything sparkling clean, but...all the glass in the room is missing?
3. Don't ask me how or why, but can you help me find my missing shoe?
4. I'm a little concerned about your fan club and my safety. Not that I think they would do anything, but ummm...
5. Text her!
2. Why is everything sparkling clean, but...all the glass in the room is missing?
3. Don't ask me how or why, but can you help me find my missing shoe?
4. I'm a little concerned about your fan club and my safety. Not that I think they would do anything, but ummm...
5. Text her!
I could speak to them, although I think Hanajima-san has them in hand generally.
[assuming it's Tohru for whatever reason.]
[assuming it's Tohru for whatever reason.]
1. You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of laundry.
2. I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach the kids footy team was so I could meet all the milfs.
3. I dunno how I feel about the Elmo undies. Feel like he's looking at me.
4. Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even wank in the shower.
5. I have no skin left on my knees after last night.
2. I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach the kids footy team was so I could meet all the milfs.
3. I dunno how I feel about the Elmo undies. Feel like he's looking at me.
4. Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even wank in the shower.
5. I have no skin left on my knees after last night.
Edited 2025-05-23 06:25 (UTC)
i. Just fell off a train. Bad.
ii. I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
iii. Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
iv. I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
v. Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
ii. I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
iii. Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
iv. I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
v. Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
( full info + prefs in journal. quick version: 20-year-old daughter of a japanese aristocrat whose family has fallen on hard times during the early taisho era, engaged to a prince that she doesn't want to marry because she's in love with someone else; spirited, capricious and with a terrible taste in men. modern au here, unless otherwise specified, although can also do taisho era with phones upon request, just specify if so. x-overs and assumed cr are my bread and butter. can do f/m or f/f for shipping. )
01 | My mother's reaction to meeting my husband was, "he's from old money, top of his class, already secured a prestigious job. Fake a pregnancy right now."
02 | Don't worry. I has chaperone.
03 | I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on Google Maps for an hour.
04 | The pregnant hostess at the club told me to "make good choices".
wildcard | Text her.
01. Apparently I decided there are no repercussions for my actions.
02. I can safely say that's the strangest way anyone has propositioned me. So obviously, my answer is yes.
03. I'm drinking and playing with knives.
04. Beggars can't be choosers. I'm desperate and he has a dick, he checks all the boxes.
05. I put on eyeliner and a different shirt just in case the delivery man was attractive. That's where my dating life is, right now.
06. [text him?]
02. I can safely say that's the strangest way anyone has propositioned me. So obviously, my answer is yes.
03. I'm drinking and playing with knives.
04. Beggars can't be choosers. I'm desperate and he has a dick, he checks all the boxes.
05. I put on eyeliner and a different shirt just in case the delivery man was attractive. That's where my dating life is, right now.
06. [text him?]
2 - lmk if you want me to switch to a different prompt!
thebaseviolence
- 2025-05-23 14:58 (UTC) - Expand1. The next person to compare me to Cruella has to scrub the toilets. I don't even like dogs.
2. I'll cut you a $1k check for a good piece of gossip.
3. If it weren't for some of you knocking down the dry wall again, we wouldn't have to be listening to construction noises at 6am.
4. Who left their underwear on my doorknob?
5. I formally challenge you to a sparring match or to find a nice spot for dinner. Either way, this will be entertaining for me.
6. [ Text her anything! ]
2. I'll cut you a $1k check for a good piece of gossip.
3. If it weren't for some of you knocking down the dry wall again, we wouldn't have to be listening to construction noises at 6am.
4. Who left their underwear on my doorknob?
5. I formally challenge you to a sparring match or to find a nice spot for dinner. Either way, this will be entertaining for me.
6. [ Text her anything! ]
Edited 2025-05-23 06:42 (UTC)
she pretty famously also did not like dogs, just saying
[ castmates, crosscanon, ocs, all welcome! can play from any canon point but will default to after he and loki stage a coup on asgard and he kills baldr, so he's basically a fugitive wandering the worlds. m/f for anything shippy; he likes badass blondes, but you might remind him of his (dead) wife. ]
1. The lack of regard with which you hold your safety is troubling. I would prefer you consider it more highly in future.
2. New rule: you are not allowed anything. Ever.
3. I am not being over dramatic.
4. I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
5. Did you die?
6. [ wildcard! ]
1. The lack of regard with which you hold your safety is troubling. I would prefer you consider it more highly in future.
2. New rule: you are not allowed anything. Ever.
3. I am not being over dramatic.
4. I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
5. Did you die?
6. [ wildcard! ]
2 this is obvi in reference to the multiverse shitposting but this is shield au bucky
bionicstaringmachine
- 2025-05-24 06:44 (UTC) - Expand5, you know what this is as i add to the blond pile 😘
icedcappuccino
- 2025-05-24 17:28 (UTC) - Expand1. You deserved it, you colossal cockblock.
2. I've seen your dick way too many times for either of us to be straight.
3. I'm not 'losing blood'. I know exactly where it is. On the ground in front of me.
4. No, I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole truth. There is a difference.
5. It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
6.[Text him! Cross-canon, assumed CR all adored! If we have a specific verse you want to set something in, just tell me ^_^]
2. I've seen your dick way too many times for either of us to be straight.
3. I'm not 'losing blood'. I know exactly where it is. On the ground in front of me.
4. No, I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole truth. There is a difference.
5. It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
6.[Text him! Cross-canon, assumed CR all adored! If we have a specific verse you want to set something in, just tell me ^_^]
Almost rolled a dice but you know what this is way funnier if they're kids
shrikesback
- 2025-05-23 20:21 (UTC) - ExpandEmmrich Volkarin | Dragon Age The Veilguard | OTA
spiriteddiscussion
2025-05-23 06:56 am (UTC)(link)
01. This is your post-party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
02. It's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I might in the end.
03. Tell me you're. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
04. Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
05. I'm pretty sure I just drank tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What on earth is my body anymore?
06. [text him!]
02. It's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I might in the end.
03. Tell me you're. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
04. Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
05. I'm pretty sure I just drank tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What on earth is my body anymore?
06. [text him!]
This how all your Nevarran parties end?
[ she's just going to... make note of this and probably not attend one in future. but also? kind of intriguing. she has questions. ]
Although, I would have thought you'd expect a response from the dead, given your corpse whispering.
[ she's just going to... make note of this and probably not attend one in future. but also? kind of intriguing. she has questions. ]
Although, I would have thought you'd expect a response from the dead, given your corpse whispering.
1. I learn from experience and I learned what it's like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
2. He said he's a fan which is different from a stalker.
3. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
4. I read the stupid horseshit articles on emotional regulation and self-soothing that you linked.
5. Have you considered that MAYBE I've been an EXTREMELY good boy and deserve sex as a positive reinforcement of my good habits? I'm willing to be Pavlov'd is all I'm saying.
2. He said he's a fan which is different from a stalker.
3. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
4. I read the stupid horseshit articles on emotional regulation and self-soothing that you linked.
5. Have you considered that MAYBE I've been an EXTREMELY good boy and deserve sex as a positive reinforcement of my good habits? I'm willing to be Pavlov'd is all I'm saying.
1. i have decided to view your threats against my life as flirting. i know you love me
2. yes this dress is irreparably whorey. i'm already the family scandal so i'm running with it now
3. there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
4. well yeah, my attitude is absolutely trash but we both agree that my tits are amazing
5. ( or text her! feel free to throw anything else at me! )
2. yes this dress is irreparably whorey. i'm already the family scandal so i'm running with it now
3. there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
4. well yeah, my attitude is absolutely trash but we both agree that my tits are amazing
5. ( or text her! feel free to throw anything else at me! )
Page 5 of 10