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texts from last night

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Kolnatha Shavval ☾ Baldur's Gate 3 ☾ ota

[inherlight]

1. Don't ask questions. Just come break me out of jail.

2.Remember that suspicious potion we found? It got accidentally mixed in with our healing potions and I can't tell which one it is. Not sure if we should toss everything out or play an exciting game of ‘Is it poison?’

3. Sometimes I just want to drink and do something stupid.

4. I'm so sorry about climbing into your bedroll last night! I thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until I sobered up.

5. Speak with Animals is all fun and games until it's mating season. I will never listen to bird song the same way ever again.

6. Text her!

[Info|Perms. All Tavs, companions, cross-canon and assumed CR welcomed.]

Makima | Chainsaw Man

[kubricks]

1. Your new collar isn't going to come in time. So we might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart.

2. Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.

3. And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.

4. I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.

5. Text her?

1

[bustywolf]

Wait, I don't remember agreeing to try anything on. I thought you already knew the size?

Morgana McCawber | Fan-Designed Into Ducktales 2017

[lovebites_sodoi]

1. some guy walked up to me at the bar and proclaimed i looked like a "shady motherfucker". can't argue with that one.

2. i refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me

3. going overboard is basically 75% of my personality. i'm a gorgeous hot mess.

4. I AM NOT ADORABLE I AM PURE TERROR I MAKE PEOPLE SHAKE IN FEAR

5. text her/misfires+assumed cr welcome

4

[flapsin]

Clearly you're both. I personally find myself deeply afraid of how cute you can be!

saber lily ; fgo ; ota

[ocastitatis]

1. I AM NOT ADORABLE I AM PURE TERROR I MAKE PEOPLE SHAKE IN FEAR
2. Why is the word "best" written on my chest?!
3. I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
4. You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging your face into the toilet once or twice.
5. text her

1 oops

[nagano]

It's really hard for me to believe you when all I can imagine is you puffing your cheeks out like a squirrel as you say that.

Kel | OMORI | ota (voicetesting) (cw: emeto)

[averageorangejoe]

1. no more pre-dentist Orange Joe
I just puked all over my hygienist...

2. I just want someone who will randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my cheeks
do u think there's a dating app for that?

3. I lost a bet last night
now I have to name my first born child Captain Spaceboy regardless of gender
in a way, though...I think I honestly won

4. apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon

5. last night's hook-up turned into a Captain Spaceboy history lesson
I'm a p-retty lucky dude

4

[enteloki]

'Frowned upon' is a generous way to describe their reaction to such behavior. I imagine 'they found it unacceptable' is much closer.

Wang Baixi / Bat-Man of China – DC comics

[pangzi]

1. Can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces...
   
   
2. Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
   
   
3. Houston, we have a problem.
   I'm in Houston. That's the problem.
   
   
4. No need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. Nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable.
   
   
5. text him!
   

1

[catsgothistongue]

I can. Whether or not I do depends on your reaction.

ritsuka "let me retire" fujimaru ; fgo

[lefol]

1. Hello, why am I in your bed?
2. No! I refuse to be live bait for whatever crazy scheme you've hatched up this time!
3. Don't be alarmed by the blood on me, it's not mine.
4. i just ate a handful of salt
5. ...why did I wake up to fingerprints all over my face?
6. text her.

2.

[beautiful_carnivore]

But Master, This humble monk promises that you will be perfectly safe and sound this time. The incident in the Singularity will not be repeated...

The Master | Doctor Who | OTA

[morphant_master]

1. I actually got a scam call on this phone. You know what, that deserves me taking a few hours out of my busy schedule to make them rue the day they were born.
2. Oh, you can trust me. Within reasonable limits, of course.
3. Waiting for another scheme to bake. Restless. Might rob a bank or overthrow a government. Something to pass the time.
4. People say to me 'why do you keep doing such evil things?' Or they would, if they weren't to busy screaming. And in truth? It's all rather fun.
5. [Text him!]

Canonblind WOO~ 1.

[behemoth_betrayed]

Scam The Scammer is one of my favorite games, too~

eijirou kirishima | bnha

[recilientrioting]

1. i mean, subtle isn't how i'd describe your flirtation strategy last night...

2. why is my eye purple?? and wheres my backpack??? and wHY IS MY EYE PRUPLE???

3. you stood me up- so, i'm going on a love-strike. i wont explain further.

4. [ group text ] GUYS just cause IIDA is on a fam vacay doesn't mean we gotta stop following the dorm rules: plsssss don't put the flour by the protein. PLEASE?

5. (Pro!mode) not my fault your friend is threatened by me~ I'm super charming~~

6. (Pro!mode) i'm NICE, i'm buff, i'm a PRO HERO-- so how am I still single?;;;

7. (text him! )

isagi — blue lock

[gol]

1. Won that bet. Don’t remember what I'm owed. Just give it to me.
2. Getting weird threats on the internet. Report as spam?
3. Feels like my brain's on overdrive mode. Need a reboot. Tell me something interesting.
4. Big match next week. Fuck me I can't sleep.
5. Sick of nattō! Want to swap foods? I'll do you an extra favor on the side.
6. Text him!

4

[hiori]

for a second I thought you were propositioning me

jessica jones | mcu

[jjcampbell]

1. Just took a shot of real whiskey... I forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
2. Definitely laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
3. It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
4. Soap is not a condiment.
5. text her

anna morasca | original character

[itswhoyouare]

1. Either he pets my cat, or this deal is null.
2. He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
3. Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
4. You probably shouldn't do that... but if you do, take pictures.
5. Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

3

[unresponsives]

that long of a night?

peggy carter | mcu

[darlingflame]

1. I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem".
2. I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
3. You jumped into so many bushes for no reason.
4. She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said I could help, but I had to call him by his jungle name.
5. text her

1

[readytosee]

It's absolutely because you love me :)
Apologies, I'm typically not a field agent. I wasn't expecting to be stabbed.
Should I always expect to be stabbed, if I venture into the field?



[ooc: i had to, given your username and his last name, haha. i am canon familiar with yours but no worries if you're not with mine! he also works for a top secret government organization that deals with the weird.]

blitzø | helluva boss (voicetesting)

[blitz_o]

1) oh hell to the fuck to the no, we are NOT doing that!!!!!!
2) you know who doesn't take a day off? go on guess
3) two words: jelly sandwiches
4) .............i need a favor
5) jioiuyekjoiqouilkjLKJOISIO BELLPPPPP
6) [or text him~]

4.

[behemoth_betrayed]

And I'd love to hear all about it

Lyney 🎩 Genshin Impact ✨ OTA

[miracleparade]

1. No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

2. Look, we all have our slutty phases! Mine is just forever.

3. Glitter fights sound much more fun in theory.

4. This isn't a magic trick. Do you know where I am? Because I sure don't.

5. Checking my phone to see who I drunk dialed last night isn't as funny when I see I had a 20 minute phone call with Father. If you need me, I'll be leaving the country.

6. The best part about being a magician is I don't have to explain to my sister why I keep a pair of handcuffs in my bedroom.

7. Text him!

Stelle | Honkai Star Rail | OTA, F/M preferred

[rip_homerun]

1. Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?

2. I can’t tell if they’re having sex 
or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. 
All I know is I hear explosions 
and men screaming and crying

3. The best was when you were crying, 
and trying to get the bouncer to “understand you AS A HUMAN BEING”

4. Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?

5. Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable

6. Literally got mad at him this morning 
because we didn’t have time to have sex for a third time. 
I think I’m getting greedy.

7. Text her!

Geto Suguru | Jujutsu Kaisen | M/F preferred, OTA misfires/gen

[eatingcursesout]

1. She got a text from her mom saying 
“you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is”. 
I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK.

2. Stop touching yourself.

3. You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine 
in the middle of the bed 
so I slept on the couch

4. You live 7 mins away and I’m leaving in 10 mins. 
At this point sex before work is impossible.

5. Do you need to be saved?

6. Random/Bring your own!

2

[backwaterbelle]

Never.

Evan "Buck" Buckley | 911 | OTA

[iamfree]

1. Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok.
2. Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
3. Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
4. Dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate.
5. This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
6. Text him/bring your own!

1.

[theodorelasso]

It's me, I'm the one who's making crepes.

How hung over are you? Should I bring some aspirin and water before I finish, or would you rather have the crepes first?

Fushiguro Megumi | Jujutsu Kaisen | M/F preferred, OTA for shenanigans

[seaurchinhead]

1. I’m so hungover, I actually considered 
rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.

2. my dad just offered to pay for my fake id.

3. Someone said we’re out of ice. 
You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, 
saying ‘but where will all the polar bears live". 
That drunk.

4. Dude. My sister is off limits. 
Touch her again and I’ll rip off your dick and force feed it to you. 

5. i don’t remember it, but i know we had sex 
because your stuffed animals were facing the wall

6. Text the grumpy sea urchin!

Rico Dredd | Judge Dredd | ota

[judgementcrime]

1) Got good news for you. Everyone saw your dick.

2) So you’re telling me you don’t need the handsaw anymore?

3) This is the last time I’m doing a favor for you. Next time, I’m charging my usual rate.

4) Yeah, I hit you with my motorcycle. I’m surprised you remember.

5) You called it a “funcussion”, I'm not trusting your judgement.

6) *WE made the news

7) [text him!]

2

[telekinesis_kills]

I've been telling you I don't need the handsaw for hours. You're the one who suggested it in the first place.

Are you trying to offload evidence onto me for some reason??

Sunday | Honkai Star Rail | Voice Testing | OTA

[cameaftersaturday]

1. Literally just as I started to cum 
the church bells next to my house began to ring. 
either it was the most epic timing ever 
or THEY were watching and congratulating me

2. I'm glad listening to 'simplified' justifies breaking your promise to THEM.

3. As they left, you opened the door
dropped your pants then yelled 
“Don’t leave, this is what you’re missing”

4. Promise me you won’t have sex in my room.

5. You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people 
and you kept saying “it’s fine, they melt.”

6. You said you didn’t deserve to walk 
so you started crawling down to your room

7. He's v. tired, pls text him

Momoe Shiori (MC) | Tokyo Debunker | M/F, OTA for gen/misfires/etc.

[deathinayear]

1. My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can’t pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.

2. This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?

3. You pole danced in your parka.

4. He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.

5. Why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?

6. I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.

7. Text her!

Isabel Culpeper | Wolves of Mercy Falls | OTA

[tireiron]

o1. Sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. While holding a beer. Medical school rocks.
o2. Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
o3. My mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
o4. The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
o5. (text first?)

Nanami Kento | Jujutsu Kaisen

[stresspoint]

1. 'Not a lot' is still too much blood!
2. You chose to put your dick in it. You can get it back out yourself.
3. This isn't a crush. It's an empty bottle of booze and 3am overthinking.
4. Nope, I'm great. That's why I'm texting. Because of how great it's going.
5. Waking up in a strange shower is not how I planned on spending my night.
6. [ Wildcard ]

3

[hyperviolence]

Is this about the mystery lawyer guy again?
Just fuck like bunnies and get over it.

Libra Sforza (MBCC Chief) | Path to Nowhere | M/F, OTA gen/platonic/misfires

[shackledandbound]

1. You were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that’s was a new level of drunk for you.

2. Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order

3. You asked her to play “the coma game” with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn’t wake you up so she slept on the floor.

4. I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

5. I just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”…

6. She’s been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours.
She’s been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey.

7. Text him/Bring your own!