bakerstreet | The slowest burn is the most painful

[

What the fuck is wrong with these two. really. This is some hilariously painful shit to write rn.

His posture tenses and-- this is it. This is the point that he has to admit that he had been looking forward to the idea of spending every night with her.

Marriage-- this whole construct frightened him. He saw what happened with his parents and they were so clearly in love with one another. He'd given up intimacy, both emotional and physical for so long...

He exhales. softly.

Whats another life time without touch? He could handle it. ]

I don't want you to pretend. [ He's struggling with the words internally.

It's here, though, he'll start to approach her. Slowly. ] I meant what I said earlier. I'd like for us to work together. I--

[ Shit. Fuck him. Fuck him and this marriage. Why the hell would hux do this? Well-- he knows several reasons so. Might as well be straight up and honest. ] I only wanted you close to me, because Hux...

[ How do you even word this without embarrassing hismelf? ]

Hux understands your importance. [ -- He really is about to commend himself for not saying anything dumb or sentimental until ] To me.

[ ABORT. ABORT. ABORT MISSION. ABORT. ]

But I want that to be your choice. [ Worst recovery. Go throw yourself out an airlock ]

You tried to kill me.

[ She spits this out because she doesn't know what else to say. It's more incredulous than venomous. She just can't understand how he can call her important to him when he'd done something like that, clearly lashing out, clearly furious with her for daring to pick her cause — the lives of dozens of people — over him.

But, no. It makes perfect sense if she skews her mental perception to Ben Solo vision. Ben, wounded, wanted to destroy the things that were important to him. To eliminate Ben entirely, and leave only Kylo Ren.

Of course he'd want to keep her close, too. Not to actually be close to her, but to mitigate the weakness she posed for him. ]

[ Yeah-- he's got nothing on that. Nothing he can say now. She'd left him, it hurt like almost nothing he felt before. Like he was drowning in his own grief and anger and sorrow and it had nearly choked the life out of Ben Solo.

And then Luke Skywalker came and... ]

It doesn't change how I feel.

[ And now he sees it had worked the way he'd intended it to. If he couldn't kill her, he wanted to push her away to the point she'd never come back. She'd leave him alone and understand that he was truly a monster. Her exit had been on his terms.

Man it's some real fucked up logic in here. ] I have no expectations of this-- [ He can't say it. He refuses to say this is a marriage because it's not. ] -- union.

[ He was owed nothing. He can just have his feelings on his own and feel like he's shaking apart every day when he wakes up in his dumb bed and looks out to the dumb stars and thinks about the dumb wife who he is dumbly in love with but wants nothing to do with him because she is actually not dumb.

Poe Dameron save him. He's crawling in his own skin. ]

[ He's so wrong and neither of them even realizes it because words are hard.

The confession digs down somewhere deep in her chest, burrowing to a place she'd tried to set aside. A good Jedi wouldn't let her personal attachments get in the way. A good Jedi — well, all the good Jedi were dead. Rey was all they had left, and she wanted to save Ben Solo.

She just doesn't know how possible that is. If it's Ben telling her that he has feelings for her, or Kylo Ren. One of them would leave the First Order behind for her. The other wanted to possess her, even as a trophy, so she could hurt him less from this distance. ]

I —

[ She starts to say something, but there's a knock on the door. Her gaze drops away from him and she turns to look out over the blanket of stars. A thought occurs to her, distantly, a curiosity: could she ever be happy here? ]

[ Thank god for Poe. Well-- Captain Peavey in this case. Kylo wanders over to the comm unit in the wall and a whirling blue holo appears of the Captain's visage. He gives a salute which Kylo waves off, wanting him at ease.

'I brought Poe Dameron as requested,' He seems so bored by this task. Probably more annoyed that Hux commanded him to do it. Cool. ]

I'll send her out soon.

[ The holo disappears.

Cool. He'll just turn and see Rey in his room and. Appreciate the only time this fantasy became reality.

Fine. This is all fine.

He strides over to her, grabbing something from his belt. A small datapad as it turns out. He keys through it quickly and makes some notes and modifications before handing it to her. ]

This will be able to get you where ever you need to go -- [ A map of the ship and the different levels being one of the settings. ] -- and I've configured it to be able to unlock this entire area. I'll be changing the codes once you leave.

[ It's not that the security was in anyway lax before. But now he's fairly sure the mask of civility and teamwork between himself and General Hux is about to shatter. Better safe than sorry. ]

If you feel like you're in trouble you can come here. [ A last ditch effort resort. ] And.. if you need anything...

[ ...ugh he hates this sentence already. ] Just ask.

[ He'll just move aside. Give her enough room to pass him whenever he opens the door. ]

[ She takes the datapad from him with a certain amount of caution, trying to avoid the unnecessary brushing of fingertips even with his gloves still on. Trust will be hard-won, now that it has been broken, now that it is so much harder to measure whose side he is really on.

She can still feel the Dark rooted deep in him, despite the gentleness he offers her. It's like a poison, mapping his veins. She should have recognized how deep those roots went then, on the Supremacy, but she hadn't. She won't overlook them now. ]

Tell me this is real.

[ She whispers it softly. ]

The truce. This. [ She holds the datapad up as if to indicate it as some kind of lifeline. ] Tell me it's not a trick, and I'll believe you.

[ It won't bridge the rest of the gap. It won't fix everything. But it's a start. ]

[ He looks at her and theres a measured amount of need in his eyes-- almost desperation. It's hidden, of course, as everything is. But-- even after pushing her away, attempting to kill her, his mother, everything each stood for. After turning away from the light.

Even now it's calling for him.

With this conflict close to being over-- he's not sure which direction he's actually compelled to go in. ]

This is real. [ His voice is even. ] I'm not tricking you.

[ He never had.

Though-- he's certain most others wouldn't believe that. ]

Be careful with what you say to him-- you'll be watched. [ Granted... he's not sure Poe would even believe the idea that Hux proposed this marriage out of the blue to fuck with Kylo. It hadn't been that long since Crait, the gossip about the First Order's leadership wasn't widespread yet. ] We'll have to strategize if we want to make it out of this alive.

[ This would be a coup on a whole new level. And he has a feeling he's going to have to make some really strange bedfellows in the weeks before the wedding.

Jesus christ. a wedding. What the fuck. ]

[ Great. Keeping secrets from her friends. More secrets, given— ]

He doesn't know about before. [ The bond. ] I'd like to keep it that way.

[ And without waiting for reply, she heads for the door and opens it. Best to move forward from that and let the rest lie. It's a lot, and they both probably need the breathing room and time to process it because …

Yeah. A wedding. It's a lot.

Poe and Rey embrace each other, a little teary-eyed because some part of each of them was ready for their goodbye to be a last one, just in case. It's the reality of the Resistance. This hug takes place just outside the threshold of Kylo Ren's quarters which is important to note because when Kylo comes into view, Poe is glaring. GLARING.

Did he take her virtue ………….

Rey looks decidedly unfucked so probably not, but it bears consideration that Poe is ON THE LOOKOUT for that kind of shenanigans. ]

I'm fine.

[ She notices that concern. ]

We were just working out the … details.

[ Of how long 'fine' was going to last, for instance. She glances back at Ben, then back at Poe. ]

Come on. We can stay together while General Hux has his people put together an event. General Organa asked for a ceremony, and—

[ She updates him while they walk, arm in arm, away from Ben. He's obviously not welcome in present company, and soon they've left him behind. She rattles it all off. Chandrila. A ceremony. Poe asks if she thinks the General wanted that for strategy or what Poe dubs 'personal reasons,' uncomfortably put. Rey admits that she doesn't know. ]

[ Yeah Kylos just....

Gonna fuck off. Like good glare Poe. Like he didn't wreck your mind. Whatever. He's good. Just stuck in a one-sided union with a woman he fell in love with, drove away in a moment of absolute rage and hurt, and now he gets to watch her turn her back on him over and over and over again.

Wouldn't even touch him.

This is cool.

He has to wonder if this is what Hux planned on.

Well-- he's got work to do.

First thing is first, every goddamn code from his room to the general barracks for the supreme leader is changed. Different codes. Different decryption. Different everything.

Second, he has to get a new datapad, get that hooked into his personal system and up to date and... sends Rey a short message(which he agonizes over. for a period of time that is embarrassingly long):

My information in case you need it.

He hopes she knows it's him. Because in all honesty he didn't want to use "Kylo Ren" because it felt wrong and.... If Hux is monitoring them using "Ben" would not be a great thing.

Next he checks in with a few captains and officers he can trust. Few and far between. Whatever Hux's plan is, it's locked down tight. But he is waiting for the union to occur. Possibly why he was pushing so hard for it.

A political trap? Or a physical one? Get the two force users to marry so he can claim they are a threat and burn them as a symbol of the new era? Capture them, torture them, make them admit that they conspired to kill Snoke?

Shit. Maybe he should get his mother in on this. At least get her people in on this.

Like. Is he really ready for two rejections today?

But he's fairly sure his mother would be more angry if he got himself and Rey killed because he was too stubborn to ask for help. And it was a line he could trust.

He doesn't do much. He's changed clothes into training gear when he's decided on this course of action, closes his eyes and... reaches for her. And it hurts. He didn't know she was alive because she'd shut him out so hard. Even trying to tap her presence burns him. Feels like he's lighting his arm on fire. But he gives her a nudge, a ping-- he needed her help. Hopefully it was enough.

He hopes that she has affection left for the boy he had been. At least for Rey's sake.

It's all he can do for now.

In the mean time. He's going to wander down to find an empty training room. And just

Really go to town on some shit. A lot of shit is gonna be broken. Broken until he's exhausted and can drag himself back to his room and hopefully pass out from exhaustion. ]

[ Some stormtroopers find them wandering the halls before long, around the time Rey gets Ben's message, and Poe gives her a kind of Look like he isn't sure how he feels about the fact that Ben has her on speed dial or whatever, but she doesn't take the time to explain it because

now we have stormtrooper patrols finding Resistance personnel aboard the Judgment. ]

It's not what you think.

[ She says this plainly. ]

There'll be an announcement. Really, if we weren't supposed to be here, we'd never have let you see us in the first place.

[ These perfectly reasonable arguments go unremarked upon and they're brought before General Hux before it gets cleared up. Yeah. Outstanding. Hux is loving this. Rey is dusting herself off from where the troopers grabbed her, and one of them takes the chance to apologize to her afterwards as he escorts them to their temporary quarters.

Which, as it turns out, is where political guests stay, so it's not that bad. She'd kind of expected a cell still, somehow. Like, even after Kylo said she could stay wherever she wanted, she had this strong sense that it was "cell or my bed."

Once they're settled, she messages him back: Thank you.

By the end of the day, they have a date set not weeks, but days from now. Hux's definition of compromise. It's disseminated indirectly so no one can argue with Hux on it: information brought via messenger, not via actual meeting. Hux has already transmitted the info to the Falcon and invited them to meet the fleet on Chandrila.

The next day, with a full twenty-four hours to process this, Rey takes to exploring the Judgment. She leaves Poe in their shared quarters and tells him not to break anything and strikes out to get to know what will apparently be her new home. She observes some stormtrooper training exercises with pain in her chest as she thinks of Finn, then continues into the deeper parts of the training area and—

Well, eventually she stumbles upon the more private areas in which Kylo is training. She doesn't interrupt, but watches from the doorway while he wrecks training droids. ]

[ Days. It was laughable. Kylo had tried to track down the general and try to strong arm him, but conveniently he was no where to be found. The walls are closing in and fast. He either needed to buy time for whatever plan Hux was brewing up, take drastic measures, -- or just get Rey and the rest of the Resistance out of here.

This was it, wasn't it? Hux's plan. He was able to discern he cared for people in the Resistance, so instead of trying to kill Kylo on his own, he's decided to strong arm Kylo into behaving because other's lives are at stake.

It's about now he wishes he had been a better dark side user. Wishes he were strong enough to rid himself of these connections.

Even more he wished Rey would have touched his hand and you know. That's the point he decides he needs to take out more energy on training droids.

At the very least he'd received an encrypted message earlier. An old lyric from a lullaby his mother sang to him as a child. She wasn't ready to open up to him yet, but she'd received his message. He sends back another message. Speaking about how he hopes Wicket is well. An affirmative to his mother that this was him and he needed her help.

She would have heard about this expedited marriage. Information would be limited on her end, but at the very least she'll keep her ears open and be able to reach out to any sources she has.

This is some serious game of thrones shit right here. (Does that make Leia Olenna and Kylo Loras?? And Rey some bizarre mix of Sansa and Arya. And Hux is definitely like. Joffery.)

He doesn't notice Rey at first. He's in the middle of a grueling set of exercises. Distracting his mind as he works through each step. It's nothing like an actual battle, he's fought these machines so much he can practically predict their movements.

He's just reaching for a canteen of water he brought when he sees her. And he's... should be feel awkward? He's not in his usual Supreme Leader gear. Like. He's in that damned tank top (we all know the curse of that tank top), using a staff, not his saber (at the moment) and looking a little rough around the edges. But. Whatever. Fine. Cool.

He's super got this.

(No, he doesn't.)

He sort of... just gives her a nod. Because... that's totally how he should greet his future wife who really hates him. And --- of course that's when one smacks him in his back.

Which the droid immediately regrets given the look he's given it.

Ur goin down first droid. ]

[ When the droid smacks him, Rey releases a huff of breath that might almost be a laugh if you squint. It's a welcome distraction from the unease with which they approach each other, circle each other, neither of them knowing what to make of this.

He'd heard, of course. The timeline. No doubt that was why he was down here.

Maybe it was seeing them together that did it for Hux. He knew they couldn't sort through all the bullshit in just a few days, like they could in weeks. That's a thought she wants to squash, but she doesn't react before it's fully formed. In weeks, they might have decided to do this on their own.

That kind of thinking was delusional fantasy that Rey didn't concern herself with anymore. It had taken too much from her over a lifetime. ]

They gave me back my saber.

[ She offers this noncommittally. Did he even know she'd constructed one from the broken pieces of Luke's? Probably not. ]

Though, it looks like you're having trouble enough with the droids … Maybe you're not up for it.

[ Okay color him surprised on the level of the very fact she's talking to him. That's neat. Kinda novel. They are on terms enough to talk with one another if they see each other in the hallway.

There is a slight note of surprise when she mentions her saber. She must have found some texts with Luke to be able to construct her blade. She may be brash, leave herself open during attacks, and not as experienced in a traditional lightsaber battle. But she was quick and eager to learn. More important than most other qualities.

And you know, he's ready to be impressed when she just has to go and knock on WHAT WAS CLEARLY AN UNFAIR DROID. SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE WANTS TO GET THEIR ASS WHOOPED (oh my god no kylo do not go down this path she is gonna get turned on and weird about this). ]

That sounds like an excuse to stay on the sidelines. [ Said in an even tone as he gets back to his feet, pulling at the bottom of his shirt to wipe at the sweat on his face (Do not look at the exposed muscle Rey, it is hypnosis). The training droids are all backing off at this point (the one who hit him prematurely even cowers behind the others), are training droids able to recognize a thirsty woman and weird unacknowledged sexual tension? I mean.... given they are around people fighting all the time, it probably wouldn't be out of the realm of reality. ]

[ It's a good thing that the hem of his shirt covers his face because Rey's gaze immediately drops and she glances aside, trying to avert her eyes from his sweaty fuckin' eight pack. That was just uncalled for. Chalking the dryness in her mouth up to dehydration and moving on. (She's thirsty. Thirsty for … water … Yep.)

She opens the satchel on her hip and pulls the lightsaber hilt out from inside of it. When she was carrying it around, they all gave her these looks like she was a ticking time bomb. On the one hand, it was sort of heartening. Good. They should be afraid of her. But on the other hand … they're theoretically here to court peace, so. She's kept it concealed.

The hilt has changed. It's longer, for one, but not by too terribly much. But it's slimmer, too, for her hand. The construction is poor — more uneven in the hilt, unpolished. Clunky. It's not a Jedi Knight's saber. It's a scavenger's. ]

Just trying to offer you a way out. [ She closes her pouch back up, saber hilt in hand. ] The last time we did this, it didn't go well for you. I'd hate to wind up in a cell because you got sloppy.

[ They both know Hux would probably give her a commendation if she sliced Kylo in half. Like-- then probably have her executed, but for a second she'd get a nice shiny medal.

And excuse Kylo Ren as he approaches in all his big sweaty man giant glory. Still that tense posture that makes the impression he needs a bolder across his shoulders to release any of it-- but underneath that he's curious. That much is made obvious when he glides his fingers along the hilt, careful not to touch her, but tries to bring it closer for him to expect.

Just examining, no word of critique or belittlement out of his mouth. His hot topic exclusive saber is a slapdash job after all. A hybrid and made so he could modify and tweak it quickly, not meant to be perfect (Sounds like the falcon tbh).

And really Rey? You're gonna throw that shade at him? He probably shouldn't respond, but you know. Sometimes Han Solo just beats his fists in the back of Kylo Ren's mouth and comes out in one stunning blast of "Why would you say that? That is going to get you killed." ]

That was before you accepted my proposal. Now I don't have to go easy on you.

[ Those dark sad pretty eyes are looking right at you, Rey. Whoops. Do you regret the mistakes you made? ]

[ Once he's up close to it, it becomes impossible to ignore the most obvious feature of the craftsmanship: the fact that it opens at both ends for a beam. It's probably for the best he took interest to spot it now instead of in the heat of a friendly sparring match between fiancees.

Which, well, she really wishes he wouldn't have brought up in the first place, let alone while he's glistening. His arms are just … really good arms to have. How had she not noticed that before? Oh. She was distracted by his chest before, the only other time she'd seen him without his arm guards.

She realizes she's listening to his arm talk and not his face and quickly redirects her attention, drawing a steadying breath. ]

Is that what you imagine married life is like? [ That tells her a lot about what Han and Leia were like together, actually. Anyway, she's not taking the 'easy on you' hard because she knows he wasn't going easy on her in the forest. He was half-mad and desperate and dying and he fought like an animal.

But she won't poke that particular wound. ]

Wounding each other without reservation or consequence?

[ -- Rey you are making this way too easy. ]

That seems to be your preferred method of foreplay.

[ If he could look at the scar she gave him right now she would.

Honestly, it's kind of funny how they switched places considering he wasn't trying to kill or wound her that night in the forest. But then Crait happened and they became even. y i k e s

(Also do not mind the training droids who... are trying to leave. But also trying to make ~noises~ at them because I have to believe training droids in the First Order can be sassy assholes) ]

[ That should really be the red flag. That should be the sign that they should not go through with this sparring exercise. Instead, Rey ignites her lightsaber with a sudden flash of blue.

It pours out both ends of the hilt, crackling like burn-off from an engine. Beneath the hiss there's a rattle of sorts, from the fragmented crystal she'd salvaged from the broken pieces of Luke's saber. A scavenger's lightsaber, indeed.

The fact that he calls it foreplay shouldn't make her uncomfortable. It's an obvious jibe, no more substantive than any of the rest of what they had exchanged — and when they had reached the stage of banter, she wasn't sure — but this one is …

Well. They'd both agreed it wouldn't be like that. It should be less unnerving for that fact, but instead it leaves her feeling off balance. Having a weapon in her hand makes her feel better. That's probably the kind of thing to talk through with a therapist. ]

This would be a good time to choose a better weapon.

[ On record. He has noted you did not rebutt his "your preferred method of foreplay" comment. And that you also did not wait until he got his lightsaber, which is, in fact, across the room because he was not expecting Rey of Jakku to come rolling in and demand ~~sex~~ lightsaber battles.

He's really wondering if she's this frustrated at this entire situation that she just felt the need to instigate a fight. Couldn't blame her to be honest.

At the very least, he doesn't look nervous. ]

Why would I need one?

[ You know. He hasn't realized his one biggest advantage is his arms atm. It's probably better because he'd be super self-conscious about it. As it stands, when he spins his staff in one hand it's just gonna make those. Really good arms flex in ways that are not good for Rey's Purity. And being Fine. Or her concentration as he aims to strike her side.

The staff is definitely getting sacrificed. He's gotta get to his saber. gg staff. u helped him beat some droids to hell. ]

[ He picks up what she's putting down quickly enough that she actually has to react to — not anticipate — his swing. But as soon as she cuts her lightsaber down in a flourished sort of swing, that staff is done for. Well, not done for. Bisected. It's now a very useful billy club.

Then she brings her leg up and catches him in the chest with her heel. Unlike most civilized persons in a training area, she hasn't taken her boots off, so he can enjoy that footprint because she doesn't walk on clean durasteel floors all day. Or she didn't, until now.

But buried in that kick is the intent to march him back towards where his lightsaber is, pursuing him not unlike some kind of large, predatory cat. Lucky for him, she's still getting the hang of having a double-sided lightsaber, so she handles it a little awkwardly and isn't gearing up for another swing just yet. ]

[ Ugh, why is his chest such a large target? He's gotten too swole. Shoulda stayed a noodle.

This time, he's more prepared for that kick since she's used it before. He's caught, pushed back, but his hand comes up and jerks that leg forward as he's pushed back. Hoping to take her off balance enough to get him some time to turn and make a Force grab for his cross guard.

Once it's in hand, it'll roar to life as he spins to face her-- she's fond of striking high and aggressively, he'll be trying to counter any strike she makes while his back is turned.

(Lets hope poe doesn't walk in on this y i k e s) ]

[ Yeah, she staggers. The minute he let goes of her leg she almost tumbles straight into him, in fact. That was like two inches from being a comical anime faceplant. Instead, his lightsaber crackles to life and she swings backwards in a sudden stop that's powered by her sheer fifteen-year-cultivated will to survive.

So, well, he didn't need to try the block, but this puts them on equal footing. And it alerts her that he expects her high.

She's already fumbling because of her recovery, so she instead twists and brings her lightsaber up in an apparent backswing with one edge of her blade that instead transforms into a jab towards his hip with the 'back' end. ]

[ She still needs refinement-- that's his first thought. She's got the drive and observation skills... He's noted she has a tendency to copy and learn from him. He would feel flattered if not for the fact he knows that he's the only other lightsaber user she's fought with and had a chance to observe. But he steps out of the way of her jab, and aims another strike at her side.

His strike area with her is noticeably wide. It's not entirely "taking it easy" on her, but he's giving her space to change positioning and get out of the way fairly easily. Not something he gave Finn or the Proletarian guard the favor of. It would probably be a bit infuriating to note if not for the fact that this was a training session ~~foreplay~~ and he really should Not be going for the kill or to injure right now. ]

[ They're gathering a crowd.

It seems like the droid chirping brought a few off-duty stormtroopers to the doorway. As they continue, the audience grows a little at a time. Rey doesn't seem to take notice, and she definitely doesn't seem content to go easy. Hadn't he been the one to say he wouldn't?

This is much easier than the forest, and he'd been injured then. Rey uses one side of her saber to knock his slash aside and then seesaws back to bring the other side down in a quick cut. It's not meant to connect. She knows he'll catch it — he expects high. From there, she spins with the parry and brings around a horizontal slash to his other side. ]

[ Yeah, okay Rey. He's got two modes. That's "Bae" mode and "Absolute destruction monster" mode. But cool. She's egging him on, he's feeling her frustration.

He blocks that quick cut and-- notices the crowd. Cool. This is definitely going to get back to Hux. Whatever. Fuck it. And his attention is brought back to her by that spin-- he'll meet it towards the hilt of his saber so he's able to use his momentum and size to slam both of their blades straight into the floor of the training room.

Whoops. That'll probably come out of his pay check. Oh well. He's destroyed plenty enough control panels, torture chambers, malfunctioning technology, etc etc during his life in the First Order. Floor really isn't the worst thing.

And oh whoops. Remember that staff y'all sliced in half? Well as he's making that move to stop the momentum of her spin and get her off balance, he's just... force grabbing one half of the staff so he can bring that into her side. Hard.

You wanna go, Rey? Let's go.

At least he hasn't touch you yet.

Or you haven't like. Cut his shirt off. ]

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