bakerstreet | The slowest burn is the most painful

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[meme] shipping

The slowest burn is the most painful

Arranged Marriage Turned More

To have and to hold, you said, till death do us part, all while the sharp, swinging pendulum of obligation hung overhead. But how could you have truly meant those words? This union has been tainted from the start, forever bearing the chains of an arranged marriage. It would be understandable if you couldn't bear to look at your new life partner, eternal reminder of your stolen future that they are, much less like them.
Much less love them...

Still, things can change.

You could realize that they are in the same boat as you or, that when compared to others around you,
they are the lesser of evils. Perhaps you even open up to the idea of a friendship; at the very least,
an alliance may be in order to become a power couple in a perilous world. From that innocent decision or sense of self-preservation, a new feelings sparks. Something like affection.

Something, you realize in the wake of speeding heartbeats, like love.

Will you acknowledge this? Can the two of you have a happily ever after - happier than if you'd met in another fashion - or will you hold firm in your distaste?

how to play.

- Everybody loves "couples forged by less-than-ideal circumstances" tropes!
- Comment with your character, prefs, all that good stuff.
- Reply to others.
- IDEC where you set your threads, it's wide open. Fantasy world with hairy hobbits, old-timey lands, future AUs, do a space marriage for all I care. I'm sure they're still getting married in Star Wars or whatever.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

[ Yeah Finn and Poe are still Unimpressed, because Poe knows what Kylo Ren can do and he's not entirely convinced that Kylo hasn't just ripped out Rey's mind and just fucked around in there to make her more agreeable to his plans which....

Is really super insulting to Rey. But. Rey has also held back on a Lot of the truth which is becoming VERY CLEAR right now and he's also got a good large dose of PTSD from dealing with Kylo Ren just a few months ago. So. We all mutually understand why Rey is totally right to be angry with Poe and Finn and Rose, but we all mutually understand why MAYBE..... they are rightfully worried and very shortly going to be very resentful.

Y I K E S.

Well- at the very least if anyone pays attention to Rose, everything is clicking into place very swiftly in her brain right now. Because bite marks. Hickies. Rey just brazenly refusing a towel and being super naked and there's not a mark on her. Which means Kylo is being careful with her but she is not being careful with Kylo which means-- Kylo Ren is Super Whipped???/?? ? ?

And Finn??? His expression is collapsing into hurt and confusion and--

'How!?' -- That's Finn.

'You'll have to excuse me if I find that hard to believe.' --And Poe.

Ah. It's super helpful how Finn and Poe are both speaking at the same time right now. It's a comedy act. They look at each other and-- Finn gives Poe the go ahead because he has no comprehensible thoughts as of right now. Just pure emotion that don't translate to words.

'I was there, Rey,' Poe steps forward and-- manages to look her square in the face and not look TOO perturbed about being dis-armed. 'He strong-armed you into a marriage. You didn't have a choice.' ]

That was General Hux strong arming both of us into that choice. [ ~~oh shit I play Kylo Ren?~~ Kylo pushes up from the floor and, Jesus christ he's probably gonna have to visit the med bay after this.

BB-8 chirps at him warily and... He's just awkwardly standing in his own room????? REALLY HE WANTS OT GO PUT SOMETHING OVER REYS BODY BECAUSE FINN LOOKS READY TO PASS OUT.... Oh well. whatever. Her choice to handle this naked.

Oh and For the record, Poe didn't look happy about that answer.

'What about the training room? I saw you both--' ]

She found me.

[ His voice is bored. Rose is in the background calculating all this like a fucking fangirl combing through screen caps to find the specific points where their OTP eye-fucked.

'I heard she punched you! Threw you against a wall!!!'

Rose's calculating intensifies. Kylo Really wants to put a shirt on. ]

She did.

[ 'And then you kissed her--'

And that's when everyone realizes they severely...... misread everything. Because to that point it had been easy for her friends to think she was a victim in this madness and not a willing participant.

'--She kissed you.'

Poe and Finn both take their time to work through this. It's the five stages of grief right here. All at once and mixing together. Anger, Denial, Sadness, Bargaining.... Not sure if they've reached acceptance yet. But at least one member of the party has.

And Rose...

Rose is starting to fukkin ship it.

Don't you dare @ her, okay?

Kylo Is just staying quiet because he's not sure if it's his place to even say anything else. Because these aren't his friends and he is 99.9999999% sure Rey is Done with people Speaking for her. And not asking her what she thinks. Or feels. ]

In all of the things you've heard, [ There's something icy in Rey's voice as she points this out. Hard. Unflinching. ] Did you ever think to ask me about it?

[ She already has her answer, of course. Not a single one of them did. They all decided they knew what was best for her. It'd be charming if it weren't so patronizing. It's good to feel loved, protected, but this is excessive — and well beyond the scope of what she would have ever wanted, even if she were living the worst case scenario. ]

Poe, I told you in the training room that I could handle myself. What were you thinking, coming in like this? [ Rey gestures to Finn and Rose. ] You were going to put Finn and Rose in danger, and for what? To destroy the alliance that Leia has been trying to broker?

[ Fucking nonsense. All of this is fucking nonsense. Poe has the good sense to look ashamed of himself. Rose and Finn mostly look 'hey, wait, we're not the dog. We aren't accessories.' But, well, Poe is the leader. Or he's supposed to be.

'We thought you were in trouble,' Finn came to Poe's defense gruffly. 'That he might be hurting you.' ]

Well, he's not.

[ 'This whole thing is a load of shit,' Poe said savagely. 'We don't sacrifice our people. Leia lost sight of that. I don't care what's happening; you didn't get a choice in this. So we're giving you one.' ]

I had a choice. [ Rey's jaw sets. ] I've always had a choice — except in whether or not you crashed in here to attack my husband.

[ 'Fiance,' offered Rose helpfully. ]

Not for long.

[ 'WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?'

Ah yes. Poe Finn and Rose are not aware that they were scheduled to get married today.

Yikes.

Well. Rose is going to continue to be helpful and she spots a silk robe kinda... dangling out of one of the trunks and... Scoots by Kylo to grab it (Lol it's actually Kylo's robe, gotta be a little hugh hefner to be supreme leader ig gg) and bring it over to Rey. ] Commander Dameron.

[ Poe just looks over INCENSED. Because he's realizing how WRONG he was and how much he's been in the dark because even if Rey was fine and they were all working together She's sleeping with Kylo Ren????? ]

General Hux has been working to undermine me from the moment it was clear Snoke was dead-- [ 'And you tried to kill us on Crait!'

Which is a valid point. BB-8 even chimes in to voice his agreement. Kylo just doesn't want to speak on his many failings because there are far too many to talk about at this moment in time ] When the Resistance came to us to speak on terms for a ceasefire we had never discussed a political marriage. He wanted me to reject it and sow discord, or accept and hope myself and Rey would be at such odds that he could use it as an excuse to have us both killed.

[ Poe is just-- not looking Happy about that reasoning but UNDERSTANDING IT. It does make sense. And-- he never would have thought of just letting them get married to try and work together to get rid of General Hux because of one. Huge Bitch reason in the room.

'That doesn't explain why you're sleeping together,' Poe's voice is hard. He knows it's none of his fucking business, but this feels a lot like betrayal. Because they had been getting closer, all of them, in the wake of the destruction left by Crait. Him, Rey, Rose, and Finn. They'd had to band together tightly and try to rebuild what they lost. And when the time came to try and strike a deal with the devil, they'd all been solemn and there had been tears and promises that they'd do their best to keep one another safe. He'd promised Finn he'd keep Rey safe, promised Leia. And now here he was just getting... an assload of news at once. That Kylo and Rey had been working together-- and not just professionally. Clearly not by the way Rey is buck ass naked with a half dressed Kylo Ren in bed. By the piles of clothes on the floor, by rumors he'd dismissed that all of them had been hearing.

And Finn-- is blank. Blank because he feels guilt swelling in his gut from not letting Rey handle things. But- something else as well. He doesn't want to name it, it'd give it too much power. But it's dark and poisonous and- he'd seen it. He'd lived it with Rey. Being hunted down in the forest, he fought against Kylo Ren for both of their lives and lost. He'd watched as Han Solo plummeted to his death. He'd held her on Crait so tightly because they had been the only people in the galaxy who had experienced all of that together.

But then again, Kylo had been there as well and... his mind wanders to what the fuck really happened. What had he missed?

Rose is just trying to get the robe around Rey's shoulders and is just trying to go for the whole LETS LET LOVE SOLVE THIS WAR AND MAYBE NOT HATE SINCE THAT DOESNT SEEM NECESSARY IN THIS ROOM AT THIS MOMENT.

'It is none of our business,' And there's Finn. Sounding dejected and quiet.

Poe's head swivels, looking in his direction quickly.

'What are you saying? She's one of us, we need to know!' And he's really speaking more out of anger and emotion than logic, anyone here can see no fucking good can come out of any answer regarding when Rey was fine with opening her legs to Kylo Ren. 'When did you decide that Kylo Ren was more trustworthy than us?'

Yikes.

y i k e s.

Kylo, for his part, looks ready to just melt into the floor at this point. Like there's a multitude of logical answers he could give to try and help rey at this point (like the fact that on that ship she hadn't trusted him at all rightfully and she was just forced into this shit because Hux was doing mental torture on each of them. That just because she was trusting him doesn't mean she trusted her friends any less. Just. A whole lot o things), but-- human relationships??? This isn't his place to speak for her ]

[ When Rose approaches Rey, it's obvious that she looks quick to the defense, but it's just a robe. A robe, and Rey is rather exposed. She softens by inches, reaches out to take it. She even ties it in the front. Somehow, though, the sight of her in Kylo Ren's silk robe and nothing else only makes the portrait they paint that much more sultry, private.

She folds her arms in front of her, impatient with the short and entitled tone that Poe has chosen to take in all of this. It cuts deeper than she likes to admit. She'd been hopeful, thought better of them than this mistrust. As much as she wants to remind herself that he's just hurting, it sticks in her teeth that he's turning it against her.

Frankly, she's glad to have the robe on. She might not show her bruises, but they're there. Last night was Rough. She doesn't need them examining her now that it has turned this direction. ]

You're not treating me like I'm one of you. You're interrogating me.

[ She doesn't have patience for it. Won't let herself be taken in by it. She may understand Poe's feelings and where he's coming from, but she has her own feelings to consider too. There's a healthy middle ground which respects both. ]

Leia already knows. About all of this. But you just assumed you knew better than her and me. You disregarded my privacy, ignored my request to let me handle myself, and showed up here expecting that I would be some damsel waiting for rescue.

[ It's insulting. She wants to lay out every way in which it is insulting to both her and Leia. Fuck, forget Kylo, honestly. This is about the Resistance being a shit show. ]

You don't get to question my trust when you've not shown any for me or for Leia. You think you know better than us, Poe.

[ It hits where it hurts. Like, really where it hurts. Poe thought he'd gotten ? ? ? better about this ??? He was like yeah man Holdo didn't want to be seen as a hero I should be more like that. We don't have to fight everybody. But here he is, still feeling like he's the one who needs to come up with some radical fucking plan and save the day. He isn't trusting his people.

I'm having sex with Ben because I want to. I'm marrying Ben because I want to. And if you'd been willing to wait, if you'd trusted me, I would have told you that on my own.

[ Kylo, Rose, and BB-8 are hilariously the ones watching objectively from the side lines. And this is just all layered complications. Each party is hurt and none of this will be solved here or now. They're circling around the same points which no one wants to acknowledge.

Rey hid her relationship with Kylo Ren from the Resistance. And Poe nor Finn trusted the word of Leia or Rey herself that she was okay.

Finn gets some soft excuse here because he hadn't seen her with Kylo on the ship, only heard rumors. And Rose is just here because she kept hearing tHE WORST. It's just layers of everyone handling this wrong.

'Ben. Ben.' In another time, in another AU, Poe has no serious issues with Rey calling Kylo Ben. Here and now, though, it grates on him. So intimate and familiar and as if he was a lost little boy and not a psychopath who murdered people in his way.

Poe looks ready to shout something else, but Finn reaches out and grabs his arm, stilling him.

'We should go,' He says it simply, his face has fallen into a sort of mask. Nearly emotionless and still which contrasts greatly to how emotive Finn normally is.

Poe jerks away, facing the other man and just not wanting to accept what's in front of him.

'Are you crazy? Are you hearing any of this????' He gestures over to Kylo and then Rey and--

'Yeah. I am.' Which in a different tone may sound reassuring, but Finn sounds. Crushed.

There's just all sorts of levels of this going Wrong here. Finn is surely going to be traumatized by this, Poe is ready to burn bridges, and Rose just wants everyone to calm down and drink some hot chocolate.

'Fine,' Poe says this in a way that indicates it is clearly Not Fine. 'We're going.'

y--y--i--kkk--essss.

Yikes yikesyikes.

Kylo. Really knows none of this is his place. None of this. He hurt people, he hurt a Lot of people. He hurt everyone around him and he knows he's poison. Hell-- some part of this is really his fault. And not in the backwards logic way of he existed and created this drama but. The way of HE WAS AN ACTUAL AWFUL PERSON WHO HURT PEOPLE AND THIS SHOULD BE ANYONE'S NATURAL REACTION TO HIM. And he manages to remain his impassive non-reactive self (It's not helping matters tbh), but catches the eyes of Rose briefly who is looking. Down right panicked. And her emotions are just reading through the haze of everyone else's anger and selfrighteousness and just. Everything.

They could smooth things over in normal circumstances, if Rey was to go back to them and live with them as she had been. Normal circumstances would lend themselves to repairing the damage being done here.

But this isn't normal circumstances.

Once this wedding is over with, he's certainly going to be busy running things from the fleet, who knows when the next time they'll sit down and be able to just relax like normal people with anyone. And if the air isn't cleared-- it's just going to be more difficult.

He knows how Rey feels, not... just now. Through the bond. But more than that. If her friends walk out of her life now and never turn back around-- ]

My mother, Rey, and I are all gathering today in the afternoon-- [ He's speaking before he realizes he's speaking and-- ???/ ?? ? ] -- We decided to have a ceremony on our own terms.

[ From the look of Poe and Finn that catches them off guard. And Rose is just shipping it harder tbh. ]

We're all being used as pawns -- [ Kylo hesitates here because-- he's been a pawn for much longer than he'd like to admit.

Really, some part of him. Some part of Ben Solo is heartened by how insulted and aggressive Poe and Finn were. No resignation to what was happening, not happy with the status quo.

Really-- he could picture a young Luke Skywalker and Han Solo doing the same thing for Leia. (And Leia whopping their ass for it) Kylo-- had become somewhat complacent since coming to the First Order. Willing to brush atrocities and tragedies off as "necessary". ] -- both of us are attempting to minimize that.

[ It doesn't explain a large swath of what's happened between them. That Kylo had to earn that trust twice. That light and dark are very relative terms or that Kylo Ren literally killed Snoke for Rey... but. There needs to be a start to the dialogue. ] You're free to come. If you'd like. [ A beat before he adds (LOOKING AT POES BLASTER NEXT TO REY) ] Unarmed.

[ Yup Rey's gonna get pissed right now but SORRY. EVERYONE IS PISSED. RIGHT NOW.

Except Rose. She's just Star Eyes already writing mental fanfiction.

P sure Poe and Operation SAVE THE JEDI are gonna just roll out grumbling under their breath after this but. I'll just throw the ball in case tifa wants to write some more angry banter. ]

[ She can't hide the spike of her anger from him. There's no hope for it, really. Rey's head turns towards Ben and there's a fire behind her eyes because it's not his place. They're not his friends. It's not his problem. He's the unfortunate battleground on which this fight has to be fought, but it's not for him to solve. Beyond that, they need to find a way to make it not look obvious when all of them are missing for a few hours.

It had been hard enough to persuade Hux that they needed time to talk with Leia alone. Their performance of the night before surely wouldn't buy them this much leeway.

Mostly, though, she's mad because she would have done this if she'd felt it weren't tactically asinine and if she'd had the chance to talk to them before they decided to do something incredibly stupid and insulting like this. But now she's going to have to deal with that angry tension at her damn wedding. The one that was supposed to be for her. Personally. To be happy. ]

Don't ever do that again.

[ She decides to just tell Ben that up front. Right now. In front of everyone. Then she turns her attention to Finn in particular, who seems to be … struggling. She's too mad at Poe, and Rose seems to understand, so it's Finn she draws up close to, Finn whose hand she takes. ]

You don't have to come. You don't have to like it. But I need you to believe that I know what I'm doing. That I wouldn't trust Ben if I didn't have a good reason.

[ After all, Finn had seen the worst of it right alongside her. He knew. And she hadn't forgotten. ]

Talk to Leia about it. And let her know if you want to be there. She'll find a way to make it work.

[ Yeah I mean. Okay Rey. You can just sit there and be Mad at every one but if there is someone here who knows what it is like to make some incredibly dumb stupid permanent mistakes in a fit of rage and anger that are really stemming from a deep place of hurt---

Kylo Ren is the poster child for that. Wrote the book, directed the movie, stabbed his father, attempted to murder you, watched as his uncle used the last of his life force to apologize for sending him on this path.

He's not really sorry at all.

Finn, on the other hand is-- shell-shocked. Just nods dumbly because he's not sure what he believes right now. A mix of sorting through his own emotions and memories and trying to pin point where things had shifted.

His hand pulls away and he can't bring himself to look her in the eye.

'Yeah, okay,' It's numb, he can feel his back stinging, he makes a gesture to Rose and Poe that it's time to go.

BB-8 chirps in response as they all start to shuffle towards the exit, Rose is the last one to pass Rey and she pauses to grab at the hand Finn just dropped. A soft squeeze and a look to try and convey compassion or-- understanding. Anything. The door swishes open and the little service droid which had brought their breakfast is beeping in stand-by mode outside.

Kylo stays-- out of their way, gets a good glare from Poe, Finn doesn't look up from the ground, and Rose...

Looks from him to Rey and is just

Really shipping it. But also really worried about the three of them tbh.

The door shuts and the air is thick with the tension of what just happened and-- Rey's datapad beeps with a message. She's supposed to meet Hux this morning.

What a fucking mess. ]

You have no business turning something I wanted for us into a tool to placate my friends.

[ She snarls it out as soon as the door is shut, allowing her anger to unfurl in its fullest form. Frankly, she makes no efforts to lessen her anger with him. There's no point. He understands it, he deserves it, and he has given her absolutely no indication that if it is released on him, he will pull away from her as a result of it.

Glancing at her datapad, she scoffs, rolls her eyes, and sheds the robe Rose had given her. She throws it over a chair and makes her way for the closet. There are a number of gowns hanging here, provided for her in the expectation that she make herself a presentable diplomat. She looks for one that's like something Leia would choose — regal, but not restricting.

It's hard. She doesn't know Leia quite well enough yet. ]

[ This is Not a fight he wants to even enter right now. There's no winning it. Rey is just utilaterally deciding what everyone's intentions and feelings are and we are all feeling the age difference right now.

So, deep breath. He needs a shower. A long one. He gets to create an issue so Hux won't notice that half of the Resistance is missing for a few hours today. Red-headed fascists wait for no one. He needs to get out of this room, something about it is upsetting him and he can't put his finger on it. (Lol subconciously triggered cause his parents had similar fights) ]

I understand.

[ He does not want to engage this conversation to become a punching bag for Rey's anger. He gets it, he understands it and has a grasp on it. But anger at him is not going to solve things. ]

Do you?

[ Because it feels disingenuous to her. Just a little. It feels like an attempt to shut her up, and that only stings. She has a dress off the rack at least, pulled into her arms. She's making progress. Unfortunately that progress is linked to an embarrassing wetness in her eyes that she's fighting back because she feels condescended to. Shunted aside. ]

This was for us. The whole point was for this to belong to us.

[ She's tired of belonging to everyone else. So tired. She just fucking woke up and she already feels like going back to sleep because of the immediate emotional exhaustion of having to be on as 'The Last Jedi' for her friends. Of all of them, only Rose had even bothered trying to understand where she was coming from. And, notably, Rose had been silent. ]

[ He's half way in to the bathroom and picking through the products there when her emotional crash starts to hit. Honestly, while he knew the deal with emotional waves, he'd expected her to crest in anger longer. An assumption on his part, an assumption made based on himself. Not a good metric, but the best he head.

So he's caught, he's caught between going out there to comfort her and standing his ground.

Neither option is great.

Comforting her as soon as she's upset with anything just creates a bad dynamic, especially because it would be dishonest to comfort her only because she was emotional. She honestly deserved to be angry and upset, she shouldn't be coached back from it just because they're negative emotions.

But it appears callous to just ignore her. Pretend that she wasn't suffering currently.

And the only way Kylo Ren knows about Any of this is because He had been the one who was constantly upset over every injustice as a youth. Even longer. He had his feelings brushed aside, side stepped, he'd been placated and then carted off. He's still not sure what the right thing is to do, but he knows he can't tell her nothing was wrong. Because things were wrong and that alone deserves acknowledgement.

He's still tense. Tense as ever when he exits the refresher and looks to her from the doorway. ]

Does it belong to you any less if the people you care about are there to witness it?

[ It's not accusing or aggressive. Soft and curious because he's trying to get to the root of this with out using their bond as a crutch. ]

Edited 2018-07-15 02:25 (UTC)

Yes.

[ She hisses that out like it should be obvious. ]

When it becomes about trying to use it to smooth over a fight. To force them into being alright with this.

[ She gestures between them then, and only after she has said that does she begin wrestling her dress on. Sore as she is, she has a harder time of it than usual. Beyond that, she hasn't even bothered putting underwear on. But she's caught up in the five hundred expectations on them hitting all at once. She has no routine here. ]

Our entire marriage is already a tool for the galaxy to use. I deserved one thing, one thing that wasn't used to make somebody else feel better.

That isn't what I was doing at all.

[ He states it simply, because-- like hell he expected Poe or Finn to be Cool with them getting secret married to each other before the Actual wedding because that just means that what Rey and Kylo felt for one another was .... More real. Like. You do not get double married just to shove it in Hux's face.

But he's not going to expand and explain his intentions considering she's working herself back into frothing mad-- can't put a dress on rage.

Slow and quiet foot falls as he makes his way over to her and eases the neckline over her head and her arms into the sleeves. Do not stretch or tear your new nice dresses Rey. ]

[ The fact that he's patiently helping her does, at least, do something to defuse her. She lets him wrestle it down her body and only then does she get the chance to look up at his infuriatingly impassive face, eyes wet, and hear him properly. ]

Well I don't know what you thought you were doing. Because you didn't talk to me. You just decided to get in the middle of it.

[ Wet eyes and he presses a thumb and palm to her cheek. A brief touch before he starts to pull at her hair to straighten it. Try to bring some order to the mess that running and jumping around at ass o'clock (not anus o'clock as Hux seems to prefer) in the morning.

He's not about to refute that he didn't discuss shit with her. That was true and honestly.... There was no time to discuss shit with her so-- whoops. ]

How much longer do we have until the official ceremony, Rey?

Two days. [ She says this stiffly, forehead creasing with her disapproval as she adds, ] Don't answer my questions with questions.

[ ITS WHAT HE DOES REY. But he had a point OKay. ]

Once this is over, I don't know how or when you'll see them next. Or get a moment alone with anyone outside of myself.

[ It's bleak. Super bleak, but he's being pragmatic. ]

The conflict is only over on paper. We're doing as much as we can to ensure this goes smoothly, but there's no promise things will. [ He doesn't say so in as many words, but- as quaint and fantastical as this entire thing seems. A huge wedding in front of the galaxy, the fact that they both felt the same for one another and could finally act upon it, his mother here-- his HOME PLANET.

It hides the fact that they are not out of danger's way. They are still on that ship where the only safe place is in each other's minds or in his room. It's just dressed up with a beach and cute decorations. He would be more surprised if Hux wasn't planning on some sort of "accident" to take out the rest of the Resistance when all of this is over. ] You could be separated for a long time.

[ That was honestly... probably what they felt. And while Ben Solo loves his mother, she was far too pragmatic to try and placate anyone emotionally. It was good for politics and cold military tactics. Bad for comforting distressed friends of child brides being married off. ]

That's not true.

[ And she sounds pressed about his interpretation of it. Obviously he's put some considerable thought towards this, committed himself to this interpretation, but every part of it chafes against Rey. Her brow furrows. ]

You said we'd assimilate the Resistance leadership into the First Order. Give them seats at the table. That includes Leia and Poe.

[ And Rose and Finn would go where Leia and Poe did. ]

You promised.

[ Where idealism hit reality is where cynics were made. How she turned from this, from him, depended on how she understood the situation. ]

And I intend to keep it. [ There's no lie there, certainly. A look in the bond could tell her as much, but he has such trouble expressing himself properly that it may not read as much through her own emotions. ] But I'm not sure of the timeline of that happening. [ The barest bits of one is forming, but all eyes are on this union right now. Treading carefully is the game. And unlike himself or Rey, his mother is prudent. He's not sure if she'll find a way to manage including everyone that would happen any faster than a period of several months.

See, that's the thing. Being a unilateral dictator meant things moved swiftly. You say next Wednesday is a holiday for your favorite kind of fruit-- it happened with out question and with complete obedience. But democracies? Republics? Actual representation of people moved slow. For good reason, of course-- but slow enough that it could be frustrating for any one citizen.

Almost like having a leader who is clearly incompetent, sexist, racist and a general embarrassment to your entire nation in office, who has clearly colluded with a foreign government to get that position, and his entire party and essentially half the government turns a blind eye because they want to keep hold of the power with no question-- and somehow this illegal bullshit is still going on and you have to WAIT because the fucking courts have to do this completely fair and above the table so that they can keep things running the way they should be running :)))))) It's all good here. I'm fine. How are you. ] And when they get seats at the table, everything goes according to plan, there's no guarantee that we will be on the same ship or in the same system as them.

[ He's trying not to be a discouraging asshole, but-- even when Snoke was Supreme Leader things were run remotely. No one saw him directly beyond a select few. And Kylo himself was on the ground and walking amoungst everyone in the First Order. But he never stayed in one place for too long. Too used to being a wanderer, and also afraid of becoming too much like Snoke. ]

You could order otherwise, but there are consequences to that. [ Meaning, if she orders it, it makes her an empress. It makes her something she's not sure she wants in that form. ] And when they do come to the table --[ He says "do" and not "if" very purposefully here. ]-- your relationship with them may very well change.

[ She won't be an equal, but a superior. Even to Leia. The balance of power would shift-- the role of Supreme Leader and his Empress would change and adapt if everything went according to plan. But that would take time. And in that time it would be difficult to pop out to a cantina and relax and talk candidly.

Right now, on this planet, before this wedding-- this is going to be her time to be Rey of Jakku with the Resistance. Just as he is abandoning some of Kylo Ren's mantle in this compromise, she has to abandon some part of herself as well.

It's not fair, but nothing about this situation was. ]

[ It's a lot to take in.

Politics. That's the crux of the issue. That at the end of the day, Rey is just a scavenger from Jakku, not a politician, and she can't navigate all of this. She doesn't know the policies, the procedures. She can understand the particulars of how the First Order runs from Ben's explanation, but she cannot internalize the nuances of it and anticipate the movements like he does. She doesn't possess the familiarity or skill.

She has no place here.

That's what flickers across her expression, ultimately, as he finishes, and she goes to sit on the edge of the bed. She'd imagined waking up here peacefully, curled up together, doe-eyed and charmed by one another. Last night's wind down had convinced her of its possibility. Now, the harsh light of day shines back on this union, and she remembers who it belongs to. The galaxy. They do not belong to themselves, even now.

Some part of her wants to order that. Right away. To get it out of the way. Accept the consequences, damn them all, but he's right — it won't solve anything. She had already begun to talk to them as subordinates here in this very room. This was outside of them. They did not understand, nor did they need to. They were nonessential to her. ]

This doesn't end when we're married.

[ No. It only begins then. She'd fooled herself. She was so good at that. Fooled herself with their talk of a home that would be theirs and this company together and a union of two factions and undermining Hux and leaving the way open to bring the Resistance on board. ]

This doesn't end.

[ What was it she had asked? If it was all talking to people and tiny portions of food?

It was, in essence, that. But at the same time it was also wholly something else.

He turns to where she sits on the bed, eyes studying her quietly before making his way over to her. He's not sure how this will land yet, if she needs comfort or space. This is complicated territory to navigate and he will let her decide. ]

It can. [ That isn't just to soothe her, it's the truth. There could be an end to this madness. ] But it will take time and patience. [ A lot of that last one. Something he lacked.

And he hesitates before saying this because this isn't his forte-- it is very much her own: ] And faith.

[ Again, there was a fine line between cynicism and idealism. ] From us-- and the people we work with to make that happen.

[ It had to extend both ways. If no one trusted him, it didn't matter what kind of government he propped up or endorsed, he could be tossed out easily. They were working here to plant the seed of that hope, but they had a ways to go before it blossomed into something larger than themselves. ]

No.

[ She shakes her head, looking up at him. There's a softness there in her expression, a grief at what she has finally realized she is losing. It's not about the galaxy and the politics and the stiff upper lips. It's not about the guises. ]

You were right. Even if the time does come that we aren't doing this anymore, that we're able to step back from it, they won't be. We'll never be on the same side like we were again.

[ They aren't now, even. She is already too close to an Empress to be anything else, simultaneously a figurehead and a sacrificial lamb. Not part of their ground-floor operations. ]

They're already gone.

[ She's no good at losing people. It has not gotten any easier since it was her parents. She rests her head then against Kylo's shoulder, deflated. Her datapad goes off again. Hux is getting impatient. But kark him, anyway. ]

Whatever this is ... it's different. And it's going to keep changing.

[ He pulls her closer once her head hits his shoulder, arms wrapping around her and keeping her tucked into him and safe. Really he couldn't give a damn about hux's messages now. He's sure he'll draw some awful conclusion when he does see her, so Kylo gives no shits about making him wait. ]

You're right, nothing stays the same. [ Even with out this marriage, if she had stayed with the rebels, outlasted this war-- she would have had to pick up the mantle of Jedi. Things would always have to change either way. ] They aren't gone though, not yet.

[ Metaphorically or literally. ]

They burst into Kylo Ren's room to get to you.

[ It was bull-headed, pants on head stupid, impulsive BULLSHIT. But it was sweet in it's own sideways logic way. ] You're not doing this alone.

Edited (QUITS RP AGAIN. AMIAN IS DONE.) 2018-07-15 15:57 (UTC)

I know.

[ She looks up at him, wide eyes. ]

I have you.

[ There's something fervent and heartfelt there. She's accepting his truth that there was no version of this where Finn and Poe and Rose understood what that was like. That's not a clean answer, but it's the real one. ]

They can't be a part of it. When they try to be, it only makes things worse.

I can’t wed all of them unfortunately.

[ his version of a joke. But the truth as well. This relationship was her choice. They just couldn’t understand it— or even accept it. Maybe if this hadn’t been so expedited they would have had a chance to swallow this massive reality check. But hux has snatched that away from them. ]

I can deal with General Hux, it should be enough time to speak with them outside of the ceremony.

[ he’s been dealing with the mans incel rage for years. He can rope him into some debacle that will keep him plenty distracted.

If Lando is here... well I’m not saying they will summon a mob of droids to corner the red head and demand droid rights. But. I’m totally saying that’s gonna be what happens. ]

Uggggggggggggh can darth maul not? Can boba fett not? Can they all not????

+1

I'm sorry. you thought you were playing with Kylo Ren. I am now apparently Poe and Finn????

this was already too long so i'm letting you write poe and finn again bc u had so much fun

omfg changes account name to "YEETINGTHEFLEETING" and "IMINCHARGENOW"

u can't change to both at once!!!

WATCH ME Also by god i guess i play kylo ren again.

about time

WELL BECAUSE OF SOMEONE HERE I WAS WRITING FINN AND POE MYSELF

you're welcome ? ? ? ?

DONT U FUKKIN SAY IT MAUI

ONE OF US ONE OF US

sorry new account. who dis?

oh is the shame too great to bear? new identity?

Yes. The shame of having to play Poe and Finn. Too much. I am not nai. I am Amian

NOT THE SHAME OF FUCKING UP THE SUBJECT LINE? NO?

Idk what you're talkin about that never happened

rude

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i chose an icon last night WHAT THE FUCK

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