bakerstreet | The slowest burn is the most painful

[ He's claimed her in just about every way a person can be claimed, she realizes, except for that one. Rey's nervousness about that request turns her ears pink and she searches his face like she has to make sure that he's not somehow trying to … to trap her in something. She shouldn't be suspicious, but in present circumstances, she can't help but be. At least a little.

Most surprising of all is that she finds she wants him to. She wants him to cross that threshold and possess her in a way that he hasn't yet. Like the rest, it's a mark no one else will see, but she'll feel it. And they'll both know. ]

Yes.

[ This sounds like just another moan as she bounces on him, trying hard to angle him into just the right position, but … it won't come. His cock is at the wrong angle, or her body is too raw, or— The orgasm she wants won't come. That's alright. She's been greedy and this is about him, now. Beside the feeling is powerfully satisfying on its own because of how stimulated she is.

There's still his question to clarify. She's heard of women, across the galaxy, who take something to fix a mistake. It wouldn't be impossible. And ... well, she's only bled once since joining the Resistance, since discovering the luxury of a steady meal. She might not even be able to— ]

I'm yours, Ben. [ She whispers this against his lips. ] Make me yours.

[ His breath is stolen away and— stars. It’s so good. The friction the way her body bounces on him. She’s taking him right now. Making him hers. Like. Coupled with that permission he’s groaning, his eyes rolling up as he loses himself for a moment.

Also those pink ears? Super cute. It only occurs to him now that oh shit she may have seen his????? Fuck it. He’ll have to take extra care that she doesn’t EVER SEE THEM AGAIN

He’s blowing the bond wide open, unable to do much else but feel and— she’s plateauing in pleasure and he’s a perfectionist. His own will help egg her on but it’s not enough. With a shaking inhale he reaches out, hands resting on her hips and just—rotating them in a circle. Trying to get his cock to hit in different places inside of her. He’s being a fucking champ tbh. ] Like this. You’ll know when you— [ that’s cut off by a moan. But you know. Now Rey knows Kylo Ren knows about female Anatomy. Thanks Dad. ]

[ His hips catch her mid-thrust, and for a moment she's thrown off by following his guidance. Honestly, virgin though he may have been, he's done a great job thus far of helping her get the ropes. He earned that 'Master.' She may not have allowed him to teach her the Force, per se, but he's teaching her plenty all the same.

Rey shudders when her hips cant backward, but she figures out quickly what her difficulty is. The angle is unnatural and uncomfortable, reached only by this roll of her hips, and only periodically. The bright side is that periodically means it might cut through the haze of how overstimulated she is and actually get her somewhere — she can feel that already.

And it should drag this out for him too.

From there she adopts a steadier rhythm, rocking her hips instead of just thrusting and bouncing. Her boobs don't jostle as much like this, but there's something to the way her body, slick and worn, undulates like this with the water stream at her back. ]

I never thought it'd feel this good. [ She tells him, honestly, between moans. There's a frenetic aspect to the way she picks up speed, succumbing to her own need. ] You're so— [ Kriff. She drops her head to his shoulder. ] Oh, Ben.

[ If Han Solo did anything right by his son, which I mean. Not much. But if he did ANYTHING right, he taught him how the clit and the g-spot work on women. (And lbr there was probably a conversation about how to get to it on a dude too, but we aren't here for that rn) Virgin with no experience, but well fucking read.

He will get those tits bouncing another day, for now he gets to feel and witness the way her body writhes and circles around and once he hits that spot inside of her she just--- squeezes him in just the right way.

He curses-- it's not in basic and it's probably something Leia would wash his mouth out for saying, but you know. He's in agreement. This is really fucking good. His cheeks are warming and it feels as if a fire is spreading inside of him. ] Rey.

[ It's quiet, breathless, vulnerable, and weak. Because right now all he needs is her. This is what he'd been wanting. ] Come for me, Rey.

[ This is perhaps the cruelest of all of his commands because it works. Rey has been riding high for so long and she's found that sweet spot to push herself to the peak and her legs are trembling and she's ready and then he drops that, and in his voice, and how dare he.

Her fingernails dig into the skin of his shoulders as she thrashes and ruts desperately into him, her whole body wringing him, but more weakly this time. She's running out of steam. Her body has started to give out, but still she squeezes. Her legs give out too, and she can't keep rocking on him. Not after everything he'd done to fatigue them already.

So she slumps over him, her whole body shaking, molten satisfaction coursing in her veins and stars exploding behind her eyes. It's like going supernova. It's like jumping into hyperspace. It's like—

Other things her brain can't think of right now because it's so fried on pleasure. Eventually even the string of guttural, full-throated moans die off because she can't sustain them. They lapse into a long, keening sound that too becomes breathelss. ]

[ Well-- you know. Positive is: Once she comes, he comes undone with her. A sharp cry as his hips snap up into her-- the bond is so wide open that he barely even needs any more prompting or friction and it's like he's blinded. By light and her and there's nothing else right now. Nothing. Just her and him and every other thing could fuck off.

His head only manages to re-attach itself to his shoulders a few moments later as she is boneless and--- beyond breathless at this point. Practically sounds as though she's hyperventilating. Yikes. They definitely ruined each other.

His arms draw around her and he holds her there to his body, still inside of her and... Now belatedly realizing he definitely came inside of her. He hopes he can find the strength to get them both in bed and find her the thing to take. But at this moment he just feels content. Eyes closing as water spills over the both of them, his breath heavy and his mind at peace.

Yeah. Definitely shoulda done this like. At least 150 tags ago. Wtf.

After a few long moments and only when Rey sounds like she's not about to have a panic attack or w/e he'll murmur softly. ]

Are you okay?

[ Every breath causes her clit to rub against the coarse hair at the base of his cock and sends a new shock through her body, racking it, making her tremble and cry. She's too spent to budge to stop it, though. She just falls into him anew, blissful and spent. She paws at him, savoring the feeling of his skin on hers, slowly bringing herself down from that high, but her limbs are heavy and slow and all she wants is to curl up with him, more than anything else. ]

Yeah.

[ She offers this simplistically at first. Perfect, if she's being honest. Better than she's ever been. Her mind is clouded with pleasure and she wants for nothing but rest. Blissful, grateful rest. ]

Ben, that was — [ She's overwhelmed. Words can't even begin to cover it. Definitely ruined. ] Thank you. [ She turns her face into his neck. She can even feel the warmth of his come in her, a heady flood. It's not dripping yet, but it sits differently than her own wet in her cunt.

Stars, he'd come in her. She's strangely unpanicked by this spur of the moment choice. It feels right to belong to him in this way. ]

[ He's cool with not moving. God-- how is he going to function tomorrow??? Maybe they should have waited until after the wedding????

Oh god had Hux planned their Honeymoon? What the fuck was it gonna be?? A tour of Tatooine, then Jakku (Maybe he'll dig up Rey's Parents, why not?), then the asteroid field previously known as Alderaan????

Not sure if Kylo thought all that, but you know. He is at the very least wondering if there would even BE a honeymoon. Whatever.

Fuck it. ] Pleasure's all mine.

[ Stop acting like a gentleman it's so gross.

But seriously. They have so many things to discuss right now. So many. How this dynamic will change things. How to keep this from Hux. Do they talk to his mother about it. Also that he will choke her all her kinky heart desires, but later when she won't be wearing gowns and bullshit all week.

But yeah. None of that is coming from his mouth, he's just blasted clean. A blank slate.

Okay but wait. ]

Do you seriously want to fuck in the Millennium Falcon?

[ It's half a joke. If she reads into it she'll realize that he'll do it for her. But seriously. DO YOU KNOW HIS PARENTS PROBABLY FUCKED ON EVERY INCH OF THAT SHIP? ITS LIKE FUCKING IN HIS PARENTS BED P MUCH.

Kylo Ren. Moment Ruiner....

Wait let's be real that was Ben Solo right there. ]

[ The patter of the shower spray soothes her, helps her come down and collect her wits about her again. Their breath slowly trends towards synchronicity, loud but level again. That whole-body hypersensitivity doesn't go away, however, and the mere sensation of water running down over her nipples has her still leaning into him.

She's like an exposed nerve right now, more alive but also raw and worn. When he says that, though, she laughs. ]

It's my ship.

[ As though that should make it obvious. Yes?? ? She wants to have sex on her ship ?? It's the ship that gave her freedom from Jakku and the ship that gave her a purpose and a place in the galaxy and it feels like her home. ]

Are you saying you wouldn't enjoy watching the stars streak past while I rode you in the cockpit in hyperspace?

[ Does he mention that he is like .... 80% sure he was literally conceived in the pilots chair? Partially because that was Definitely his dad's favorite spot, but also because of the Force just Telling him it was the spot (no Kylo, that's called being a crying whiny baby).

No. Don't tell her, then you have to go into uncomfortable comparisons between Rey and your parents. Both of them. ] A blindfold may help.

[ It's a tease and--- uh, hope you don't have any latent kinks for blindfolds rey. ~~You probably do~~ ]

[ Raw and vulnerable as she is, she can't help but find that his reluctance and probing chafes her in a way she didn't expect. It makes sense that he'd feel the way he does, but she still feels a sting like he's rubbing up against something that had already been wounded.

She takes this opportunity to get to her feet, pulling him out of her with a squelch that reminds her that his come is still there inside of her. And she's going to have to figure out what she's going to do about that spur of the moment compromise of her intentions to not have that happen. That in turns spirals into a little further grouchiness at how he's bartering over a fantasy he'd asked her to share.

She hadn't done this with any of his. ]

I'm not going to force you.

[ Her legs are shaky, and there's a bit of strain in her voice. She turns away from him to blot out the shower's stream more deliberately, rinsing the sweat and slick from her body with attentive, roaming hands. ]

[ Ack-- ackack ack. He can tell she's not happy about his reluctance with the way she lifts off from him and is just Edgy.

Yikes Kylo. Try to be more sensitive to the girl who you just fucked into oblivion please.

He'll. Start to get to his feet. His back is at awkward angle and his legs are smarting but by god he will get to his feet. There's stretching and back kricking going on, but he's getting there and excuse him Rey he's gonna come at you from behind and help you wipe off a little. ]

Rey, as long as you're the one fucking me I don't care where it is. I will fuck you in the guts of the falcon if that's what you want. [ ~~with porgs watching.. Also don't worry. I'm gonna make up a text for that AU. The Porg Watching AU~~ HE MEANS THAT-- HE JUST HAS HANG UPS. He'll press a kiss to her temple before-- ] I'll find some ---[ Eugh. This is weird to say-- ] contraception.

[ HE ASKED THE BURDEN IS ON HIM. ]

[ Proximity wakes her up to how really and genuinely fragile she feels right now — it's not normal for her, not at all, and she starts to do some math that like. Hey. Losing virginity and going hard and orgasming five times in one night probably dumped a hell of a drug into her bloodstream and it's got her all emotional and woozy and.

Well, that's not Ben's fault. But she doesn't know how to parse if she'd normally be peeved with any of this at all. She's never had any of this. Her hands settle on top of his where they roam her body to help her rinse off and she takes a steadying breath.

Don't be weird and burst into tears. Don't be weird and burst into tears.

It's a good mantra. Very well-placed. And he's promising that he'll fuck her in the maintenance cubbies and that should make her feel better but it makes her feel a little too much better and that relief still wants to make her cry. She's holding on, keeping her shit together, right up until he offers to get her contraception.

At first she's not even sure why she starts to cry from it. Like, okay, maybe it was just that she finally lost it over trying to hold back tears about how much is happening all at once. But no. She parses it a moment later that she'd been so ready to figure that part out on her own just like she's done everything else that it was the nail in the 'not alone anymore' coffin that he offered to do something simple and stupid like solve this tiny problem that he'd caused in asking for that in the first place. It shouldn't be remarkable or relieving but it is.

So she turns to him then, the choked sounds in her throat the only evidence of her crying because her face is already flushed and her tears are washed away in the water. But she buries her face against his chest and just … lets some of that out.

Biology is a trip. I bet you thought Ben would be the one to cry after sex. ]

[ I am not going to lie, he's a little startled at first. Like. He'd felt how overwrought she felt, just-- a lot of things at once. He knew that and he's feeling it as well, to a certain extent but--

Like he'd been all ready to just go off and do his thing. (emotions will hit him later, I promise) But clearly that's not where he's most needed right now.

A slow and steady inhale, trying to steady himself because... he doesn't comfort people. So He's just trying to navigate this. His fingers do find her back, eventually and begin to rub circles there. She'd liked when he ran his fingers over her hair and back earlier so-- continuing that.

It's-- really difficult for him to say the words right now outloud, but he's hoping his actions speak for themselves: You're going to be okay. I'm here.

And-- well, that's it isn't it? ]

You're not alone.

[ He'd told her that once before. She'd believed him then, and even after everything that had happened, she'd known it was still true. The image she'd had in her head — the reestablishment of the Jedi, the two of them working together with Luke and the Resistance — hadn't come to fruition, but the rest was still true. They'd never have to be alone again.

Rey's arms loop around his middle, fingers pressing with bruising pressure into the back of his ribs, clinging to him like he's her last lifeline. And in a way, he is. She doesn't have anyone else she can lean on in their current position. They have to be that for each other.

It takes time, but eventually she gets herself back under control. The tears stop, or at least are spent, and she draws back to look up at him. Red-rimmed eyes look both sad and stupidly in love, gazing up at him from beneath dark lashes. ]

I'm sorry.

[ She grapples with the words. ]

You didn't do anything wrong.

[ This was a dangerous position, in all honesty. It was a very real reason to never disclose their bond to anyone else. They were huge liabilities in this war. If one of them had been captured or compromised-- the other would be compelled to help. There was no way around it. In that way, this moment where they had finally found the page together-- and it wasn't going to be all smooth sailing from here, but that's not the point-- but for the first time they are together, they want the same things.

They are stronger and weaker for it. They'd have to play a careful and dangerous game in front of Hux.

And his lips turn up for a second, he nearly laughs because ]

I've done plenty wrong. [ He can admit that.

But this wasn't one of those things.

He leans in to kiss her, because red-rimmed eyes, looking a mess, having been so thoroughly ravished, she was still the most beautiful thing he knew. It's simple and quiet and not seeking to draw he into anything deeper. ] You've been holding back.

[ Since she was marched on to the Judgement and then promised to him with hardly any consult. If anyone had reason to cry it was Rey. ] It's okay.

[ He'll probably cry on their wedding night tbh. ]

[ The way he just … understands perfectly, it only makes her more sentimental. In fact, she hadn't even considered how much of this was an eruption of three days of mental warfare on herself until he points it out. Then she just nods because, well, it makes a lot of sense. It's like she's been holding her breath and now that she's not, she's gasping for air and gulping it down greedily.

She returns his kiss, something equally chaste, but thankful and insistent. As long as he understands that it's not him hurting her now, making her cry, that's … that's enough. She sighs, pressing her forehead to his, leaning into him. ]

Come to bed with me.

[ It's a nice sentence to be able to say. ]

At least for a little while. [ Maybe he's planning to go contraceptive hunting tonight, who knows. The sooner the better, as she understands these things, but … she just wants to hold him and be held. ]

[ --He's an anxious little nervous thing that likes to like. Make extra sure there Will Not Be Any Kids Around (Who has a feeling the Force is being Super Insistent on their coupling or some reason)-- but her wants supersede that. Tenfold. ] Message my mother -- [ It slips out before he can stop it. He's been trying to keep distance... but it was hard. It was going to be hard. He's not entirely sure how to parse his identity and---

Yeah Kylo's holding back as well. ] -- she can have something prepared.

[ If anyone can keep a secret it's Leia. I mean, Kylo's an idiot, but he sure his mother is at least prepared for the possibility of fucking. She may not know the exact nature of their relationship (she knows dumbass), but she's a smart lady.

For now he leans down to kiss her forehead again, short and chaste before he works to wipe at her thighs to clean the rest of his mess. ] Do you need anything else?

[ FOOD? TEA???? GENERAL HUX'S HEAD ON A SILVER PLATTER???? ]

You ... want me to tell your mother that we just had sex?

[ As far as Oedipal bullshit goes, Kylo, you just won the prize. But to be fair, Rey realizes belatedly that she doesn't actually know if that's normal or not on account of having no parents of her own. And, frankly, she might have wound up going to Leia anyway in an emergency about this kind of thing. Ben's mother is also … the closest thing she's ever had to a mother …

This is some weird step-sibling Clueless incest at this point but we're not thinking too hard about it. Set it aside. Move on. Don't consider that Ben may or may not be fucking his foster sister.

It's hard to argue with him when his hand is gently wiping her thighs clean, his fingers working over flesh that he's now intimately familiar with. Her body might as well be his own for how good he is at manipulating it, for how well the Bond allows him to understand her reactions.

Put bathing on her kinks list, I guess. She's super into it because it's intimate and loving and the best aftercare in the world because it reminds her of how attuned to one another they are. ]

It's probably late.

[ She hasn't looked at a chrono in a while, but. ]

I'll send her a message, but after that, let's just try to get at least a little sleep. I doubt tomorrow's going to be any easier.

[ Count this under the list of things they need to discuss later. Excuse him Rey, he's actually gonna go for a space sponge/loofah and just dip that over her skin while they talk-- and then you know. Drop that somewhere to work on her hair a bit. His hair should be relatively fine??? But hers is so long and he literally fucked her on the floor, if he doesn't take a comb through it while it's wet it's probably going to be tangled to hell. ]

Tell her you had sex, that's all she needs to know right now. She won't push you to explain. [ Not her MO. She had many many other things to worry about than an engaged couple fucking. ] We-- [ Shit. This can't be "we" right now for the fact that he can't be seen with Leia. But this is still "we" in concept ] -- need to get on the same page as her, with what our plans are. [ His jaw ticks-- and by this point he's definitely working through his hair as gently as possible ] She should also know what Hux is probably planning, and what he's been trying to do.

[ His mother would be better at strategizing than either one of them. At least strategizing from outside the First Order. ]

But-- we need sleep. [ Both of their brains are wiped. Their bodies are wiped. Their sexual organs are super wiped. ]

If I tell her that I had sex, she's going to know it was with you.

[ Rey is bulldozing straight past all the serious talk deliberately, at this point. Her mind is too clouded to confront it right now. Yes, yes, update Leia. All good. But updating Leia about her virginity seemed like a lot. ]

I came here with you. We're sleeping in the same room. Having sex with anybody else would jeopardize everything. [ Like she just wants to make sure he's aware that this is 100% super letting Leia know that they're fucking.

She might get an intervention. Or at least some kind of you let me know if he hurts you kind of talk. At least a knowing stare. All of those things sound like a Lot for someone who's never had a parent care about her in her entire life. ]

[ Welp. It's time for the talk. Well. Part of a talk. At least she's got that thought through. And she's not going to hide it?? Like He's cool with that. AS LONG AS SHES COOL WITH THAT. ]

If you're comfortable with it, I am too.

[ He has a feeling Rey won't get it if he says "She probably knows something was going on already"-- or she'd feel more self-conscious. Like it's really his fault. She's known him his entire life she could just Look at him and understand something is going on. Especially SINCE REY KISSED HIM AND HE WAS SO CONFUSED???? ]

If you want I can find something for you.

[ He'll just... Be busy and have to find a small time window to just SnEAK off for some Plan 66 (Is that a terrible joke? I don't know. I don't care. Judge me if you wish).

Also, he's done with her hair. He'd like. Do the whole routine but holy fuck, they are both exhausted. And he can feel her energy being zapped. He'll lean forward to turn off the water and then.... Very carefully just scoop her up in his arms. He's still tired, but at least she's tiny enough that this isn't too much of a strain. ]

[ Telling her means accepting the irresponsibility of doing nothing to prepare to prevent pregnancy on her own, but she's not going to go into explicit detail to clarify 'oh, no, I didn't want him to come inside of me, but eventually it was everywhere else anyway so I figured why not. And it was hot as hell.' Probably not that.

So she'll just embrace the explanation that it snuck up on her. It did, after all. ]

I'll tell her.

[ Rey swallows, then makes a surprised noise as he hoists her up. She's too out of it to have noticed in time to stop him, and the shower is too slippery to fight him off anyway. But dripping wet and soothed by the head massage and the multiple orgasms, she's content to just curl up in his arms anyway. Rey slides her arms around his shoulders to help hold herself up as best she can. ]

Thank you.

[ he just. Kinda shrugs because this isn’t a big deal to him. Carrying her at least. He’s gonna try to have some decency. He’ll just lay her across their bed which is now a goddamn wreck but whatever really.

And not getting in with her yet because grabbing their dumb sleep wear and handing her the silk nighty with a: ]

We may get walked in on.

[ probably not. But not taking that chance. Once he gets into his own sleep wear he’ll scooch in beside her. Drawing up blankets over them both and. Doing what he wanted to do last night and just wrapping himself around her. Welcome to your life with Kylo Ren. Actual cuddle bug ]

[ When he hands it off to her, Rey pulls the nightgown on over her head and stuffs her arms unceremoniously through the straps. It doesn't fit as well as it had when she was all dried off, but she works it into place before laying down with him.

And he … He clings to her like her hair isn't sopping wet still from the shower, like the cold of it doesn't bother him, like she's the only thing real in this beautiful place. She presses her back up against him, savoring the warmth of his body, the sturdy presence. She's distracted by his every twitching muscle, unused to sleeping with someone else, but honestly she's so exhausted that she barely notices.

Not too exhausted to remember the other task she has, though.

She grapples for her datapad on the nightstand, and punches out several drafts of an eventually brief message to Leia. If Kylo's the nosy type, he'll notice that the first few share perhaps too much information too bluntly. The final version she settles on, however, goes like this: non-emergency: i need something to take against pregnancy. for accidents, and for the future. i'm fine. ]

omg nosy uncle ?? ? ?

I told him he could read it if he paid my bills

a good deal

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SWEET MIDWESTERN WOMAN SEES ME TAGGING THIS SHIT AND THINKS IM WORKING BLESS HER

i love when that happens like AH YES WORKING HARD

Midwesterners are so nice and social its kind of amazing.

sometimes

SLAMS IN HERE OUTTA BREATH FROM RUNNING ACROSS CHICAGO AIRPORT

R U OK