Trust Only You

[atyourservices]

trust ONLY you Intimacy is wonderful, no doubt...but you just can't. For you, you can't let someone in like that, can't let your guard down, or just don't want to. There's also the possibility that you actually cannot be close and candid like that, unless you want to risk their safety and yours. It could, however, be a much more normal case: you were burned in the past by someone, and you don't want that to happen again, or no matter how much of an open book you are in all other aspects of your life, sexuality makes you clam up and retreat. You just can't be with someone - at least not just anyone. Until the right person comes along, then everything changes. Their strength, their kindness, or their trust in you makes you trust them; finally, there's someone you can be honest with and be comfortable enough with to explore a side of you that's had to be locked up. Whenever you have an urge, you can turn to a partner who can give you relief. Whether your tastes be a kink you've always secretly had or just a vanilla, consensual connection, don't be hesitant to let go. Comment with your character, preference, character's role (trusted or the one with trust issues), etc. Reply to others and thread out as you desire.

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[wingmans]

[ Sam takes it gratefully, having a small sip. Honestly, Sam is fine wherever he is so long as he's got Cap's back. His needs are simple and his objectives have rarely led him astray.

Still, this was not the optimal of situations and he does feel sympathetic towards those who have left their families behind. So he offers a genuine smile. ]

I'm still kind of new to the whole thing. Maybe a New Avenger than a proper one.

[tictacs]

Still counts! Thanks for making my dream come true.

( one-two-sit. scott holds his mug with two hands: one curled around the handle and the other gently cradling the side. )

That's two now, actually. The first one was "beat Avenger in a fight", and... ( not really, but it's still a first meeting he'll never forget. )

... anyway, did I put too much sugar in there?

[wingmans]

This was your dream?

[ Sam is half tempted to tell him to dream a little bigger but well - it's hard not to get carried away with the heroes and their large lives. His life would have been very different otherwise. ]

No, it's fine. Thanks. I'm sure you'll hit other landmarks. Just wait until you touch number four, dealing with conspiracies.

[tictacs]

Oooh, conspiracies. You gonna Yoda me through some of those when I start having existential crises?

( he takes two gulps of his coffee, making a conscious effort to either keep looking forward or to turn his head towards sam to look at him instead of staring at the drink. scott's not sure why it's important. )

Should buy one of those "Baby's First" albums, except replace all the achievements like "first word" and "crawl" with the things people with codenames and fancy gadgets gotta do. You think they sell those things here on the down low?

[wingmans]

If they do, I want to be first in line. I'm getting tired of the bird jokes.

[ He takes another sip, watching Scott carefully. He seemed a bit on edge. ]

Feeling overwhelmed?

[tictacs]

( scott has to pause, and that's probably what gives him away. )

A little bit? ( as if it's really something he has to question. ) I mean--I knew what I was getting into, right? I don't regret any decisions or anything.

But it's a lot to process.

[wingmans]

[ Sam nods. He knows that feeling intimately. ]

It sort of carries you away and when the fight dies down, you have to take it all in. The consequences, the future.

[ He surveys Scott over the rim of his mug. ]

Is there anyone you need to call and check up on?

[tictacs]

Yeah, but she knows daddy's got a lot of work to do.

( thumb gently brushing against warm porcelain, he chews the corner of his lip. )

I think the best thing about being a virtual nobody is that the paparazzi won't be all over my kid, at least. ( he laughs a bit, shoulders slumping as he lets out a slow breath of air. ) But I miss her like hell.

How about you? If I can ask that.

[wingmans]

[ Sam allows for the brief pang of regret for his partner, his brother before it passes him by. He no longer overshadows him, but Sam will always allow a moment of recollection. ]

I don't really have a lot to miss. But I know the feeling. It's why I signed up for the ride.

[tictacs]

Why you signed up?

( scott considers, wetting his lip. )

A guy told me once that we fight for their world, not ours. Kind of shaped the philosophy I have now.

[wingmans]

Honestly?

[ Sam shrugs, relaxed. ]

Things just sort of lined up. I always had a purpose, and now I've got a bigger one.

[tictacs]

A purpose... ( it's the kind of higher awareness thing scott's never been good at dealing with, but it sounds nice coming from the falcon's lips. sounds right--maybe because nobody has dedication like sam has dedication. )

What's that?

[wingmans]

[ Teasingly. ] Usually something with a lot of goodwill and responsibility attached.

[ But he gives a proper answer, though the smile never dims. ]

Whenever we do something - anything, really - the world changes. Why not change it for the better? Even a little bit makes a difference.

[tictacs]

So more for the world than anything in specific, huh? ( it's a nice philosophy. scott thought this from the beginning--that sam was a nice guy--so he isn't all that surprised by this answer, but he sure is affected. )

Changing the world for the better... y'know, if you told me I could do that a few months ago, I would've laughed at you.

[wingmans]

I might have laughed too.

[ Not at Scott. Sam had always made a difference, has always striven to use his knowledge and skills to help others. But the scale of it has changed. ]

Every step forward is a step that matters. Even when you're not sure, it still counts.

[tictacs]

That makes me extremely nervous. ( now scott definitely laughs, but some of the frigidity in his fingers fades away. it's nice to think of himself as a hero--or some version of it, anyway.

he goes for his best crutch: bad humour. ) Like flushing the toilet might start the end of the world.

[ spoilers ]

[wingmans]

You never know. We've seen some crazy stuff lately.

[ Like Panther Guy and Spider Kid ]

Like you turning into King Kong. That was impressive.

[tictacs]

It was the first time I didn't pass out trying! I'm telling you, buddy, we're gonna need my Baby's First album soon or we're gonna miss all these achievements.

( feeling better means he can drink more coffee at once, so by the time the mug's back down scott's got two-thirds' of it gone. )

That prison under the sea was nuts, too. I've been arrested a lot for my thirty-odd years alive, but never by Poseidon.

[wingmans]

[ Sam chuckles, crossing his arms. ]

We'll see what we can find.

Last time, I was arrested by Hydra and had to jump off a building into a helicopter. That was -- [ He pauses, dramatically and partly because it was still a harrowing experience. ] -- fun.

[tictacs]

I get the feeling you jump off of a lot of things and that it usually ends up-- ( scott pauses, too. ) --fun. That's just me.

I usually jump into things. ( there's something nice about the normalcy of all this; the casual tones, the smell of coffee. ) Your wings notwithstanding--they're very nice wings, by the way. Really pretty.

[wingmans]

[ Sam grins, a note of pride in his voice. ] I've noticed that.

Thanks. I'm rather fond of them myself.

[tictacs]

I'm figuring that I'm never going to be allowed inside them again, but you gotta let me know one day how it works. It's like God's gift to electrical engineers.

( scott smiles, nudging sam lightly. )

You gotta maintain that thing, right?

[wingmans]

Yeah, and it's not as easy as it looks.

[ He jostles back lightly. Sam's no technical genius, but he knows his wings and has made it a point to know every nook and cranny. He can't afford to have a weapons malfunction during a mission. ]

But I could always use an extra pair of hands.

[tictacs]

Hey, even if it's just handing you screwdrivers, sign me up!

( being an assistant working with tech sounds good. doing anything normal that lets scott think less of where they are and how they're in hiding is good.

that it's with the falcon's wings sounds even cooler. )

I mean, you'll let me look at it though, right?

[wingmans]

Sure thing. It doesn't bother me.

[ Besides, he'd be supervising but Sam can see where Scott was going with this. ]

It's probably due for a tuneup already.