1sts (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
1sts) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2020-08-01 01:28 am
1sts) wrote in bakerstreet2020-08-01 01:28 am
Entry tags:
1. I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And say it aloud.
2. It'll hit you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
3. I was told to apologise for hacking your phone and sharing that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring.
4. I just wish he would text me so I could ignore his text.
5. Wildcard.
2. It'll hit you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
3. I was told to apologise for hacking your phone and sharing that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring.
4. I just wish he would text me so I could ignore his text.
5. Wildcard.
I don't see why that should be a problem. If they were actually funny they wouldn't get heckled. They should be glad you were being so polite about it.
[Some people would probably just blow up or gas the entire club.]
[Some people would probably just blow up or gas the entire club.]
Could I? Really Jon? Of course, I could! I've been ignoring him all week! In fact, if he's not going to even try I have half a mind to go there tonight just so he knows it!
[So that Oswald can't ignore Edward ignoring him.]
[So that Oswald can't ignore Edward ignoring him.]
1) You were petting your shoe and saying "this makes me really happy"
2) Oh, dear... Do I want the "something you can tell your mom in 10 years" version or the "I'm going to call you a vulgar name but be proud" version?
3) You need a babysitter.
4) (text her! Or uh, quill and ink on a birb? IDK)
2) Oh, dear... Do I want the "something you can tell your mom in 10 years" version or the "I'm going to call you a vulgar name but be proud" version?
3) You need a babysitter.
4) (text her! Or uh, quill and ink on a birb? IDK)
Edited 2020-08-02 01:48 (UTC)
Okay fine, there is alcohol not suitable for demons. Guess we all learned something.
1) it felt like the spiritual equivalent of a nine iron to the balls
2) i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
3) help me fill in the gaps, did i dare you to choke me?
4) [ wildcard. ]
2) i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
3) help me fill in the gaps, did i dare you to choke me?
4) [ wildcard. ]
i'll keep that in mind next time i proposition you
1. It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
2. My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
3. I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
4. How are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
5. ( text her instead )
2. My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
3. I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
4. How are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
5. ( text her instead )
1. He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
2. I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula.
3. Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
4. Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
5. ( text her instead )
2. I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula.
3. Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
4. Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
5. ( text her instead )
1. He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered man by day, but a very horny 21 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
2. I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
3. You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
4. Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
5. ( text her instead )
2. I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
3. You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
4. Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
5. ( text her instead )
1. I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
2. Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
3. It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
4. That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
5. [Text her!]
2. Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
3. It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
4. That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
5. [Text her!]
Not sure I'd describing it as hitting. I don't like getting hit as a general rule. But this isn't bad. It might be good? I haven't decided yet.
I will not run from a challenge! Not sure if there's a sixth glass left in this bottle, but that doesn't mean you win by default, okay? That's cheating. And I know you wouldn't want to win by cheating.
[She's a surprisingly eloquent drunk texter. This probably translates into being even chattier than usual IRL.]
I will not run from a challenge! Not sure if there's a sixth glass left in this bottle, but that doesn't mean you win by default, okay? That's cheating. And I know you wouldn't want to win by cheating.
[She's a surprisingly eloquent drunk texter. This probably translates into being even chattier than usual IRL.]
1. It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
2. DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
3. You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
4. Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
5. ( text her instead )
2. DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
3. You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
4. Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
5. ( text her instead )
1. I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
2. He sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise.
3. He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
4. He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
5. ( text her instead )
2. He sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise.
3. He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
4. He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
5. ( text her instead )
1. I'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and I have lost all faith in humanity
2. I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking
3. I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
4. I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
5. ( text her instead )
2. I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking
3. I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
4. I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
5. ( text her instead )
1. He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
2. I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.
3. I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
4. Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
5. ( text her instead )
2. I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.
3. I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
4. Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
5. ( text her instead )
1. death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
2. So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
3. I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
4. text her
2. So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
3. I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
4. text her
1. Is it wrong that I'm more embarrassed about the karaoke than the toplessness?
2. Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
3. Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
2. Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
3. Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
1: I mean honestly, what would you have done?
2: Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
3: We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
4: I have a black eye again and dont know why again
5: [Or text him!]
2: Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
3: We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
4: I have a black eye again and dont know why again
5: [Or text him!]
1. So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a Mister Donut, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
2. Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
3. she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
4. You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
5. [ or text him! ]
2. Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
3. she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
4. You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
5. [ or text him! ]
Edited 2020-08-02 16:33 (UTC)
I. What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
II. Awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. Explanation?
III. I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
IV. If you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations. Your answer will not be shared and will be used in accordance with the law. Thank you.
V. text him?
II. Awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. Explanation?
III. I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
IV. If you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations. Your answer will not be shared and will be used in accordance with the law. Thank you.
V. text him?
Not particularly, considering there is no relationship to keep secret in the first place.
01. I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
02. I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
03. just found a picture from last night...of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
04. [ Wildcard! ]
02. I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
03. just found a picture from last night...of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
04. [ Wildcard! ]
[ continued from here. ]
[ It helps that Kara has that superspeed, rivaling even Barry and his Flash speed when she really pushes herself. Not that she pushes herself that hard tonight. No, she pushes just hard enough to make it to Gotham in record time, which does mean she beats Babs home and uses the key under the mat to let herself in.
She preps the movie, so it's on the screen and waiting to play once her friend is home and then she makes herself a little more comfortable, by which means her shoes come off and placed by the door and the glasses she wears as Kara are slipped into the bag she's got with her. She'd brought a change of close in case the movie night went late and she didn't want to fly home until morning. Just in case. And once that's done, she'll let herself fall lightly onto the couch. ]
Here!
[ It helps that Kara has that superspeed, rivaling even Barry and his Flash speed when she really pushes herself. Not that she pushes herself that hard tonight. No, she pushes just hard enough to make it to Gotham in record time, which does mean she beats Babs home and uses the key under the mat to let herself in.
She preps the movie, so it's on the screen and waiting to play once her friend is home and then she makes herself a little more comfortable, by which means her shoes come off and placed by the door and the glasses she wears as Kara are slipped into the bag she's got with her. She'd brought a change of close in case the movie night went late and she didn't want to fly home until morning. Just in case. And once that's done, she'll let herself fall lightly onto the couch. ]
Here!
Adora | She-ra and the Princesses of Power | f/f for shippy, ota for gen
eightfootprincess
2020-08-03 03:21 pm (UTC)(link)
1: There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
2: So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
3: I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
4: So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
5: [Or text her!]
2: So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
3: I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
4: So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
5: [Or text her!]
I know you're not familiar with a lot of actual Etherian food, so apology accepted, but seriously - that thing's as hard as a rock! What the heck WERE you thinking?
Page 4 of 4