bakerstreet | Overflow

You tilted the bottle. I just typed words. It's pretty funny on my end. And depends. You could've sat down on something. If it's during sex, guess that depends on the position.

Why the hell would I make fun of you about that? Like who you like. Experiment. You'll find out which you prefer. Or you'll be bisexual and go both ways.

Sleeping though a day.

[This is called taking the opportunity and dropping the weird topic.]

It's cause you're a semi-decent person. That's all.

[Plus she's drunk and it's too amusing to send her off with some ugly remarks.]

I believe the word you're looking for is accomplice to the crime. If this were a crime. Which it's not. And I don't know that biting sounds all that fun. But I've only ever been bitten by a Hellhound so I don't know for sure.

As long as I loved them, I don't think it'd make a big difference to me either way. I'd just want to make them happy. So I guess that makes me bi? Wow. I think I just figured out something about myself today.

You know, I'll take semi-decent. I can live with that.

Hey, I can tell you to steal something; doesn't make me part of the crime if you choose to do it.

You'll have to get bitten on the ass during sex to find out. And I don't even want to know about a hellhound.

Congrats. [Wry tone doesn't convey over text.] You won't know until you start getting with people. Who or what turns you on? And no, I don't need to know details.

[At least some things are private to him.]

Curse you and your logic and making sense.

Think I'll pass on that one. Probably. I don't know. And as far as Hellhounds go, just don't go places you're not supposed to be and you won't have to worry about them!

Don't worry. You're definitely not my go to when it comes to intimate details of my life. No offense, but I don't know you THAT well.

[Luckily she does have a friend or two she can go to with all manner of awkward questions. One of them is probably going to see this whole text exchange as she asks, "I didn't do anything REALLY stupid, did I?"]

Deal with it. Logic's logic.

Heh, probably. We'll see if/when you start experimenting. And I'm good. Don't think I'll be running into a hellhound any time soon.

None taken. Actually glad to hear it. I don't let people know me THAT well. Don't want anyone too either. But you're going to have to learn sometime if you want to figure out what you like.

[Good she has someone she can go to. He doesn't think she'd ever text him specifically for that, but the topic's been breached and sometimes emergency panic leads people to text someone else with the weirdest questions...]

Curse you, logic! You betrayed me!

Look, a good scientist doesn't close her mind to any possibility. And they call it experimenting, so... science. Clearly.

I'm sure I'll figure it out at some point. But I'm grateful to you for starting me down that road. And the wine. That probably helped not a little.

[Even as she descends further into wine-fueled loopiness, she suspects any further questions she might ask Zero would probably end in a response along the lines of, "I don't know, go get laid and find out!"]

Now you're talking drunk.

Even to things deemed scientifically impossible? [Just to be a jerky devil's advocate.] Guess you can be a sex scientist for a while then. Try not to take the fun out of your experiments.

Alcohol's a good way to loosen stuff up. Keep that in mind. Wasn't my intention, but whatever. It happened. Do what you want with it.

[She's welcome to try and find out. Likely though, that will be his reaction to most of those questions. He's not her sex guru. And doesn't usually feel like revealing his own preferences. He'd have to know her better to do that.]

Am I? Huh. Neat.

Emejre Gifts play fast and loose with the laws of physics, so why not? [To put it another way, she's seen some shit.] I'm still going to be picky about the who, of course. I want to care about them first.

I will not make this a habit, but I'm keeping the options open in the future. Just in case I need it.

[Luckily for them both she'll avoid the awkward questions. Best things aren't horribly weird after she sobers up and sees or texts him again.]

Uh-huh.

No clue who Emejre, so if you say so. Probably wasn't a fun trip for your brain to watch that.

Sure. That's your choice. But if you do, you're gonna be real horrible in bed the first time with someone you care about.

Yeah, don't recommend this being a habit. You can't make good decisions when you're plastered.

[And Zero likes being in control of his own decisions. He drinks, sure, but not enough to get drunk. Unless he's home alone where it's basically safe. Then he'll get wasted and pass the hell out. It's a rare mood.]

Oh, right! You're not Emejre like us. I always forget. And no, it's really not. You go your whole life learning that the laws of physics are immutable and absolute, then SOMEONE melts into the shadows like a ghost. It still hurts my head sometimes.

Probably. But if they love me, they'll help me get better.

[She's a hopeless romantic at heart, and it's just bleeding out all over the place tonight.]

Yeah, you're probably right. And I know a few people who would probably have cameras rolling so I could never forget.

[And she hasn't even hit the hangover yet. With the headache that's probably awaiting her in the morning, she won't even want to look at a wine bottle for weeks.]

Uh-huh.

[He doesn't even know what he is, asides from his species and that he's "escaped" and "free". His real name isn't even 'Zero'; it's just what he goes by cause he can't remember anything. Amnesia is a real bitch.]

If you read enough comics or watch enough TV, it's probably a lot more acceptable. Some people would ever find it cool. Others would try to weaponize it. Might be best to lie low in the latter case.

Heh, probably.

Well I'm not recording this conversation so you can delete it when we're done. I've got no reason to keep it.

[Yeah that hangover's going to be fun. He might have been underwhelming in his description of what she's going to face tomorrow morning...]

I grew up watching almost nothing but cartoons and it's still pretty weird. Still, sometimes I wish I could do something really cool like that. Healing or Farseeing or even flight? It'd be so much fun!

I dunno, I think I'll keep it. Maybe it'll make me think twice if I reach for a bottle again. Maybe. Hopefully?

Too bad you've got to be normal just like the majority of us. What a shame.

Heh, got a point there. Won't say this hasn't been entertaining. For me.

But I take back what I said earlier. Your hangover is gonna SUCK.

Oh dear. That did sound rather petty. My apologies! It's just that it's not normal to be normal here. Well, relatively normal. You're the only other red panda I've met. Even though you're not red. Blue panda?

It's been fun for me too! Not just the wine drinking part, though it does taste really good. I probably would have gone back to watching cartoons and cried more than usual at the sad parts.

I'm sure it'll be fine. I've been through worse.

[SPOILERS: Tomorrow there will be a panda-shaped lump in her bed for most of the day, whimpering and muttering things like "I don't even want to exist anymore."]

The hell are you apologizing for? I don't care. Be petty all you want. Lots of people hate being normal when others aren't. It's kind of natural. Stupid, but natural.

Hey, I'm still a red panda; my color's natural. Probably just some rare genetic thing.

Uh, cartoons are supposed to make people laugh, not cry. You seriously cry over cartoons when you're drunk?

[Not going to comment on the "been through worse" part, cause he doubts it's gonna feel like that tomorrow, though it's definitely true.]

But I don't want to be petty. Being petty's ugly, or so I've been led to believe. And I've got a lot of advantages that other people don't have, so I should be happy with what I have.

Perhaps! It's quite fascinating and quite a striking look.

[Oh no. Oh no. Zero might have just walked into one of the few things Pandora gets defensive about.]

There are some cartoons I don't need to be drunk in order to cry over! It is a sophisticated art form that is full of limitless possibility and needn't be constrained to silly sight gags and corny jokes. Even though I like corny jokes quite a bit. There is so much more to them!

Too bad. You're alive. You have negative feelings. You're petty, you don't like things, and you have bad thoughts. Everyone does. Just don't act on them.

[Denying you have them just makes a person deluded.]

Thanks. Been told that before.

[Oh look. She does have claws.]

Right. And I'm sure those were the kinds of things you were talking about when you said you'd go back to "watching cartoons".

[Especially considering the whole Valentine's Day crap going along with cupcake stuffing and wine drinking. Unless people deliberately watched sad things when they were having a downer day.

Besides, there's a huge assumption everyone makes when someone says they're going to watch cartoons.

Does sarcasm travel well over text?]

That's precisely why I don't talk about them that often. Even though I know it's bad to bottle all that up too, but I don't want to be seen as complaining all the time either. It's a rather difficult balance to strike.

Those are precisely the sort of things I want to go back to watching! Especially when I know the sadness won't last, and inevitably two people will be drawn back together and happy with one another. And even a sad story can be comforting when you're in a bad mood.

[Pandora's sarcasm detector doesn't work all that well in person, so it's all but useless via text. And yes, she really was debating watching the saddest arc in her favorite show. It's just how she copes sometimes.]

Not really. So long as you vent sometimes and don't pretend you're eternally happy and nothing bothers you, crap like that, it's fine.

[Ugh.]

That's like trying to deal with a headache by hitting your foot with a hammer. Probably an issues just waiting to happen. But if that's your method to cope, go for it. I think it's stupid.

[Maybe he has a different idea than her of what constitutes a "cartoon" is the main catch. But no point in arguing over it. If she wants to drown her sorrow in sorrow, drown away.]

I suppose it wouldn't be too bad if I opened up to the people I'm closest to. I do like being able to remain positive for my friends, though. I think that's important.

Well you certainly aren't thinking about the headache when your foot is hurting. Oh, you could hit yourself in the head with a hammer! Then you wouldn't have to worry about the headache because you'd be knocked out. Or worse.

Wait, that doesn't make any sense. Forget I said it.

And it's not stupid. It's just different. So there.

I didn't say turn into a negative bitcher. Be positive all you want; it's probably more helpful to other people. Just don't go crazy with it.

[Wow.]

Well... I wasn't going that far, but you took it and ran. Go for it. Better hope the first one knocks you out; otherwise you'll have a concussion. Or a big bloody gash.

[Might be better to just deal with the hangover at that point.]

Just because something's different doesn't make it not stupid.

A... positive bitcher? Is that even possible? And I don't go crazy with anything. I don't think. Others might disagree.

[Yep. That wine is definitely hitting now... her logic and reading of the messages are getting, shall we say, creative at best?]

I appear to have underestimated the risk of permanent injury, haven't I? It's not a good plan. But it's certainly a plan.

But it doesn't mean it IS stupid either. Ha! See, I can use logic too.

Ugh. I think you get the idea. Do what you want with it.

[There's a limit to his own patience as well, even with people he's decent to.]

Can't argue with that. Just have something hot and liquid ready with some intense painkillers or sleeping pills and you'll be fine.

If it's stupid, it's stupid.

Hmmm. I wonder if a Healer could zap a hangover. But then they'd have the headache too. And they'd see what I was doing all night. So maybe I'll just go with hot tea and pain pills.

That's just your opinion. And even if it is dumb, it makes me happy. That makes it worth it.

[There's a brief pause, then...]

Since you're sober, I have a question. Purely hypothetical. If someone just texted you and said not to eat any of the cupcakes in the fridge because they're for a party and you ate them all, how would you fix that?

No reason.

[That's some rhetorical question he's just going to roll his eyes and shrug at over here. No comment.]

Duh. There's a lot of stupid things that make people happy. Like you said, it's worth it.

[Uh-oh...]

Seriously?

[The face he's making over here. What kind of idiot does she think he is?]

How many fucking cupcakes did you eat?! A dozen?! TWO?!

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