bakerstreet | Overflow

The hell are you apologizing for? I don't care. Be petty all you want. Lots of people hate being normal when others aren't. It's kind of natural. Stupid, but natural.

Hey, I'm still a red panda; my color's natural. Probably just some rare genetic thing.

Uh, cartoons are supposed to make people laugh, not cry. You seriously cry over cartoons when you're drunk?

[Not going to comment on the "been through worse" part, cause he doubts it's gonna feel like that tomorrow, though it's definitely true.]

But I don't want to be petty. Being petty's ugly, or so I've been led to believe. And I've got a lot of advantages that other people don't have, so I should be happy with what I have.

Perhaps! It's quite fascinating and quite a striking look.

[Oh no. Oh no. Zero might have just walked into one of the few things Pandora gets defensive about.]

There are some cartoons I don't need to be drunk in order to cry over! It is a sophisticated art form that is full of limitless possibility and needn't be constrained to silly sight gags and corny jokes. Even though I like corny jokes quite a bit. There is so much more to them!

Too bad. You're alive. You have negative feelings. You're petty, you don't like things, and you have bad thoughts. Everyone does. Just don't act on them.

[Denying you have them just makes a person deluded.]

Thanks. Been told that before.

[Oh look. She does have claws.]

Right. And I'm sure those were the kinds of things you were talking about when you said you'd go back to "watching cartoons".

[Especially considering the whole Valentine's Day crap going along with cupcake stuffing and wine drinking. Unless people deliberately watched sad things when they were having a downer day.

Besides, there's a huge assumption everyone makes when someone says they're going to watch cartoons.

Does sarcasm travel well over text?]

That's precisely why I don't talk about them that often. Even though I know it's bad to bottle all that up too, but I don't want to be seen as complaining all the time either. It's a rather difficult balance to strike.

Those are precisely the sort of things I want to go back to watching! Especially when I know the sadness won't last, and inevitably two people will be drawn back together and happy with one another. And even a sad story can be comforting when you're in a bad mood.

[Pandora's sarcasm detector doesn't work all that well in person, so it's all but useless via text. And yes, she really was debating watching the saddest arc in her favorite show. It's just how she copes sometimes.]

Not really. So long as you vent sometimes and don't pretend you're eternally happy and nothing bothers you, crap like that, it's fine.

[Ugh.]

That's like trying to deal with a headache by hitting your foot with a hammer. Probably an issues just waiting to happen. But if that's your method to cope, go for it. I think it's stupid.

[Maybe he has a different idea than her of what constitutes a "cartoon" is the main catch. But no point in arguing over it. If she wants to drown her sorrow in sorrow, drown away.]

I suppose it wouldn't be too bad if I opened up to the people I'm closest to. I do like being able to remain positive for my friends, though. I think that's important.

Well you certainly aren't thinking about the headache when your foot is hurting. Oh, you could hit yourself in the head with a hammer! Then you wouldn't have to worry about the headache because you'd be knocked out. Or worse.

Wait, that doesn't make any sense. Forget I said it.

And it's not stupid. It's just different. So there.

I didn't say turn into a negative bitcher. Be positive all you want; it's probably more helpful to other people. Just don't go crazy with it.

[Wow.]

Well... I wasn't going that far, but you took it and ran. Go for it. Better hope the first one knocks you out; otherwise you'll have a concussion. Or a big bloody gash.

[Might be better to just deal with the hangover at that point.]

Just because something's different doesn't make it not stupid.

A... positive bitcher? Is that even possible? And I don't go crazy with anything. I don't think. Others might disagree.

[Yep. That wine is definitely hitting now... her logic and reading of the messages are getting, shall we say, creative at best?]

I appear to have underestimated the risk of permanent injury, haven't I? It's not a good plan. But it's certainly a plan.

But it doesn't mean it IS stupid either. Ha! See, I can use logic too.

Ugh. I think you get the idea. Do what you want with it.

[There's a limit to his own patience as well, even with people he's decent to.]

Can't argue with that. Just have something hot and liquid ready with some intense painkillers or sleeping pills and you'll be fine.

If it's stupid, it's stupid.

Hmmm. I wonder if a Healer could zap a hangover. But then they'd have the headache too. And they'd see what I was doing all night. So maybe I'll just go with hot tea and pain pills.

That's just your opinion. And even if it is dumb, it makes me happy. That makes it worth it.

[There's a brief pause, then...]

Since you're sober, I have a question. Purely hypothetical. If someone just texted you and said not to eat any of the cupcakes in the fridge because they're for a party and you ate them all, how would you fix that?

No reason.

[That's some rhetorical question he's just going to roll his eyes and shrug at over here. No comment.]

Duh. There's a lot of stupid things that make people happy. Like you said, it's worth it.

[Uh-oh...]

Seriously?

[The face he's making over here. What kind of idiot does she think he is?]

How many fucking cupcakes did you eat?! A dozen?! TWO?!

I feel it necessary to remind you that Emejre like me have really fast metabolisms and higher caloric intakes that the average person.

Does that make two dozen sound at least a little better?

[Look, she's depressed and she grew up barely having any sugar as a child. She's prone to make some bad life choices.

[...none of that makes it any less terrifying, though.]

Then you should burn off that alcohol a lot faster than a normal person. Might not even have a hangover in the morning.

[Look who's fancy now.]

Not really. You still ate two dozen cupcakes that didn't belong to you in one sitting while getting drunk watching a bunch of sad cartoons to make yourself feel better.

[About Valentine's day, but he's still not sure how that factor's in. Was it because she spent V-Day alone or because she had a bad experience? Not asking.]

Oh! Perhaps! That would be quite lucky.

...you know, when you put it like that it sounds really bad. Do you think she'd notice if I snuck to the Plaza and bought replacements? I don't think she baked them.

If she did, I'm doing the people at the party a favor. I've eaten her cooking, and it's not very good at all.

[She's just insanely disappointed that she didn't get asked out. She'd been pretty hopeful, though she didn't ask anyone. Despite her outgoing personality, she's weirdly shy about romantic stuff.]

Better not be thinking about doing that now. You're drunk off your ass.

[Well, no not that bad, else her texts would be pretty incoherent and ridiculous.]

If the party's not till later tomorrow, just go pick some up in the morning. Unless you can't remember what kind they were.

Then you might be screwed.

[Good thing Zero's got no clue about those "why's" of her downer mood. His opinions wouldn't be really helpful.]

[You know that whole thing about ducks looking serene in the water but there's a whole lot of paddling happening under the surface? That's Pandora right now, putting in way more effort than texting should ever take.

[She may or may not have fallen off her bed. Twice.]

Yeah, I'd probably get lost. Or not even make it out the front door.

I need to write down what kind they are, so I don't forget. That's a good plan. I'm glad I have you to think for me right now.

6 chocolate with blue frosting 6 vanilla with green frosting 6 cinnamon with butter cream 6 chocolate with peanut butter frosting.

[Guess who couldn't find the Notes app?]

[Not really. He's never been one to study ducks. Just knows they float on water and dive for food and taste good.

No comment on the bed fail. Maybe a snirk. Or two.]

Case in point.

Can you ever write legibly right now?

[Well never mind. That was kind of smart.]

It's not the cupcakes that's gonna kill, but all that frosting...

Talk about worshiping the porcelain god tomorrow.

[She'll just keep playing it cool and refusing to acknowledge that Zero sees through the effort she's putting into typing.]

That depends. Are you putting a time limit on it?

My stomach's already a little iffy.

Okay, it sort of feels like someone's using it as a boxing speed bag.

Good thing I already canceled my plans. It appears I'll have new ones anyway.

[Fine with him. He's not going to prevent her from doing something stupid, but he would prevent her from doing something that might endanger herself. Like drive around sloshed... (not that he'd admit it was for her well-being).]

Not really. Just betting it's gonna happen.

[And he's not giving any back rubs.]

Uh-huh. You know, you can always put in an order and have those things delivered. It'll cost more, so that's your call.

I really hope you don't win that bet, but I suspect you will. At least this will go down as a learning experience!

[She wouldn't even think to ask for a back rub. Maybe a trip to the store for some painkillers at most, but she's not sure she'd want anyone to see her in the miserable state she'll be spending most of tomorrow in.]

Oh! That's a great plan! I'll do that and she'll never be the wiser. The extra cost will be my penance.

I owe you a couple at this point.

Yeah. Find something a lot more distracting to do on V-day.

[Or just take a sleeping pill and zonk out for the entire time. Stay up all night the day before if that helps.]

If you can get the right ones. And the delivery people don't fuck up.

[Ever the ball of positive sunlight, he is.]

No thanks. Not big on sweets.

Or maybe take the initiative and ask someone out next time. Even if it's just a night out with friends.

[Though 'Dora might be tempted to do the "stay up all night and sleep through it" route too.]

Oh, I'm sure I can sort it out. And if I have to, I'll come clean about what I did. As long as I confess she can't get too mad, right?

But I'm only using that as a last resort.

I don't mean cupcakes, silly! Just a favor of some kind.

[Just gonna give such a flat-faced look at the screen.]

Better not all come back to your place for a cupcake-and-wine drunk fest...

Hah, you're funny. Depends on what kind of person she is. Some people'll blow a damn gasket over anything, confessed or not.

[Making it more difficult for people to want to confess to them in the first place.]

You know her; you make that call.

Sure. A favor. I'll call it in if I need it.

I don't know, it might be fun with a group of friends. Maybe less cupcakes. And less wine per person. And I'll need to build up a better tolerance to alcohol...

[Congrats Zero. You've given her a new terrible idea.]

I'll be cautious. And if not, I have the puppy dog eyes. She's told me the puppy dog eyes work all the time.

Most of the time it is, from what I've heard. Until you all get drunk and something lights on fire.

[Then it gets pretty wild. Hey, he's been an enabler a few times in his life. No regrets.]

Seriously? Her loss then...

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