1sts (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2020-07-31 08:17 am
1sts) wrote in bakerstreet2020-07-31 08:17 am
Entry tags:
01. She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed.
02. We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
03. Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers. Con: explaining to Linda why there’s always strippers at our house. Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
04. Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
02. We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
03. Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers. Con: explaining to Linda why there’s always strippers at our house. Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
04. Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
1) mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
2) Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
3) The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
2) Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
3) The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
[ an hour later: ]
Are you sleep-reading my messages again?
Are you sleep-reading my messages again?
feel bad for deok hwa, he's the one who is a mystery as to living
kimshin
- 2020-07-31 13:30 (UTC) - Expand1. Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
2. You're just mad because I look better in my mug shot than you do in yours.
3. I take it back. I promise if you use my shit without asking again I will only shoot you nonlethally.
4. Because making bad decisions is what makes our family great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
5. Hey I'm at the hospital. No need to worry but i'm gonna need you to bring me a disguise and drive the getaway car
6. [Text him! Misfires/crosscanon/assumed CR all fine.]
2. You're just mad because I look better in my mug shot than you do in yours.
3. I take it back. I promise if you use my shit without asking again I will only shoot you nonlethally.
4. Because making bad decisions is what makes our family great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
5. Hey I'm at the hospital. No need to worry but i'm gonna need you to bring me a disguise and drive the getaway car
6. [Text him! Misfires/crosscanon/assumed CR all fine.]
1. I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
2. Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
3. Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
4. Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
5. fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
[ooc: ota, timeline/AU flexible]
2. Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
3. Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
4. Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
5. fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
[ooc: ota, timeline/AU flexible]
Edited 2020-07-31 12:40 (UTC)
1. Lesson learned: never get a room of Archons that drunk again.
2. Do me a quick favor and check inside your pants, would you? I think I left something.
3. Extremely urgent question: have you already hit your quota of bad ideas for the night?
4. Why did I wake up to a chocobo in the bathroom?
5. Text her, misfire, whatever!
2. Do me a quick favor and check inside your pants, would you? I think I left something.
3. Extremely urgent question: have you already hit your quota of bad ideas for the night?
4. Why did I wake up to a chocobo in the bathroom?
5. Text her, misfire, whatever!
The bathroom? That is strange...
I left him in the Solar last night.
I left him in the Solar last night.
Puck | A Midsummer Night's Dream | Shakespeare | ota
feraltrashfaerie
2020-07-31 12:38 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
2. So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
3. I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed
4. Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
5. I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
6. If fixing it is ignoring it... Then yes I fixed it.
7. [text him]
2. So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
3. I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed
4. Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
5. I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
6. If fixing it is ignoring it... Then yes I fixed it.
7. [text him]
Thirteen boxes. Three are already empty, I assure you.
1. Making naked pancakes.
2. Don't build indoor snowmen.
3. In woods behind bar. Have pizza. Come get me?
4. >:( Stop taking my shirts.
5. ( bring your own text )
2. Don't build indoor snowmen.
3. In woods behind bar. Have pizza. Come get me?
4. >:( Stop taking my shirts.
5. ( bring your own text )
1. I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
2. Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
3. It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
4. That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
5. [Text her!]
2. Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
3. It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
4. That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
5. [Text her!]
Text [ooc: because you're awesome for the muse. sorry in advance for throwing this asshole at you.]
And that's different from any other day cuz...?
And that's different from any other day cuz...?
1. Come on in and take your pants off
2. Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
3. He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
4. text her!
2. Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
3. He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
4. text her!
1. well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber
2. also while i am being the bigger person i plan on bringing over something bad smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
3. when you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking
4. then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
2. also while i am being the bigger person i plan on bringing over something bad smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
3. when you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking
4. then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
a. it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
b. I just gift wrapped bread.
c. I accidentally broke his nose and he still went home with me.
d. I'd like you to be the stable force in my otherwise chaotic existence.
b. I just gift wrapped bread.
c. I accidentally broke his nose and he still went home with me.
d. I'd like you to be the stable force in my otherwise chaotic existence.
Not that I don't really, REALLY appreciate the sentiment Kacchan...but are you okay?
01: It was all I could find, and I don't even think that it's the kind that bends.
02: Nothing like a little karaoke to set the mood.
03: Pretty sure that I'm going to need my shotgun for this.
04: You're going to have to do some heavy convincing to make me believe otherwise.
05: This night just got even longer, and this whisky isn't going to drink itself.
06: [ or text him! ]
02: Nothing like a little karaoke to set the mood.
03: Pretty sure that I'm going to need my shotgun for this.
04: You're going to have to do some heavy convincing to make me believe otherwise.
05: This night just got even longer, and this whisky isn't going to drink itself.
06: [ or text him! ]
Wait what? No, no shooty. I'm sure we can solve this without casualties.
1. I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep her around a while
2. Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
3. And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
4. text her!
2. Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
3. And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
4. text her!
Guess it doesn't mean you don't also love him either, just means you got a thing for his dick too.
Mean, he could give great dick. That's good, right?
Mean, he could give great dick. That's good, right?
a. I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
b. I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of teenagers.
c. :) I can feel colors.
d. Not even sure this counts as hungover but my body can't exist in reality today.
e. Death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life.
f. ( text him! assumed cr welcome. )
b. I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of teenagers.
c. :) I can feel colors.
d. Not even sure this counts as hungover but my body can't exist in reality today.
e. Death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life.
f. ( text him! assumed cr welcome. )
okay so
i'm gonna say it's the last one right now
cuz i'm pretty sure the first one would be weird but still super impressive
i'm gonna say it's the last one right now
cuz i'm pretty sure the first one would be weird but still super impressive
1. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
2. The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
3. just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
4. text her!
2. The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
3. just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
4. text her!
A misfire, I think. Still, nice to know how much you care.
1. Bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. Whatever you don't knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
2. Oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
3. Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
4. This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
5. text him.
2. Oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
3. Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
4. This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
5. text him.
1. I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
2. False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
3. youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
4. Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
5. I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my best friend, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
6. text her!
2. False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
3. youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
4. Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
5. I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my best friend, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
6. text her!
1. I live in Midgar It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
2. Come on in and take your pants off
3. She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed.
4. Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
5. (text him)
2. Come on in and take your pants off
3. She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed.
4. Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
5. (text him)
1. If you hadn't loudly described me as the 'talk to the cops friend' they would have just ignored you.
2. No, I didn't stop him from getting arrested. No, I didn't bail him out. And no, you shouldn't have expected anything else.
3. After last night I want a refund on every single second we've spent together.
4. I don't care why you needed every tie in my closet. I just want them back.
2. No, I didn't stop him from getting arrested. No, I didn't bail him out. And no, you shouldn't have expected anything else.
3. After last night I want a refund on every single second we've spent together.
4. I don't care why you needed every tie in my closet. I just want them back.
1. I can't talk right now.
They're about to do it again.
2. I'm making a will.
In it, I'm leaving you my skull.
3. What did we do last night that was yellow?
4. Please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise downstairs.
( or text him. )
They're about to do it again.
2. I'm making a will.
In it, I'm leaving you my skull.
3. What did we do last night that was yellow?
4. Please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise downstairs.
( or text him. )
1.) Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
2.) WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
3.) all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
4.) Helsa thinks she's SOOOOOOOOOOO great. Did you know she sucked her thumb until she was a preteen? I should put THAT on instagram.
5.) Where this milkshake place everyone's been talking about? It looks like a fun place!!
6.) I need some help. Razzle won't stop throwing up! You know any remedies?
7.) group text: There's blood on the floor, a crayon drawing of stick people holding hands with the word "FART" on the wall, and fat nuggets rolling around and covered in glitter. Can anyone explain? (**)
8.) text her.
(** = feel free to threadjack/threadhop for extra whacky shenanigans.)
2.) WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
3.) all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
4.) Helsa thinks she's SOOOOOOOOOOO great. Did you know she sucked her thumb until she was a preteen? I should put THAT on instagram.
5.) Where this milkshake place everyone's been talking about? It looks like a fun place!!
6.) I need some help. Razzle won't stop throwing up! You know any remedies?
7.) group text: There's blood on the floor, a crayon drawing of stick people holding hands with the word "FART" on the wall, and fat nuggets rolling around and covered in glitter. Can anyone explain? (**)
8.) text her.
(** = feel free to threadjack/threadhop for extra whacky shenanigans.)
Edited 2020-07-31 13:13 (UTC)
1. No, I don't believe I have a "vibration" function. Why?
2. Recently, I've learned that saying "no" to a 200lb St Bernard is more difficult than you would imagine. [ ... ] Actually, maybe it's just as difficult as you'd imagine.
3. I've read 348 books in the Sci-Fi genre, on the topic of androids and other forms of AI, and I've come to the conclusion that humans are remarkably preoccupied with artificial lifeforms in a... sexual manner.
I'm not sure how to feel about the revelation.
4. What's an... ebussy?
5. (lol text him?)
2. Recently, I've learned that saying "no" to a 200lb St Bernard is more difficult than you would imagine. [ ... ] Actually, maybe it's just as difficult as you'd imagine.
3. I've read 348 books in the Sci-Fi genre, on the topic of androids and other forms of AI, and I've come to the conclusion that humans are remarkably preoccupied with artificial lifeforms in a... sexual manner.
I'm not sure how to feel about the revelation.
4. What's an... ebussy?
5. (lol text him?)
Edited 2020-07-31 13:09 (UTC)
i'm so lucky connor's a character who can realistically talk to himself w/o being confused abt it
toyboy
- 2020-08-01 03:11 (UTC) - ExpandRight? Although mine is 51 so explaining where 52 came from will be tricky! XD
lickstheevidence
- 2020-08-01 03:17 (UTC) - Expanda)i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
b) We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
c)What should I list for life skills?
d)I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my best friend, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
e) I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
f)She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
g) letter/text him
b) We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
c)What should I list for life skills?
d)I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my best friend, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
e) I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
f)She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
g) letter/text him
a; character is Florence from Chess (Broadway); PB is temporary
nobodysside
2020-07-31 01:44 pm (UTC)(link)
You didn't have to actually say that, you know
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