bakerstreet | Only one bed

Can you handle more?

[ It's not a problem for Logan. Super healing factor means no time needed for a refractory period. But he's worried about fucking this man too much, about tearing him up. Maybe he can do something else to him?

But it's so difficult to think with the biting and clawing. He's so into it. The best he can think is to sheath his claws and wipe the blood away on the blankets. Not that this really helps anything, as there's blood all over him.

And he loves it. ]

'F'course I can, I'm not fragile yet--

[It slips out that way on accident, nerves tugged taut and desperate for more attention, more pleasure, more stimulation. He's damned near drooling for it, even as a dull sensation of pain rattles around in his marrow, in his legs.

[He bites down on his shoulder again, harder this time, and nearly meets bone. Fortunately, it's a close call, and Alivian doesn't even know how close he was to chipping or breaking his fangs.]

[ But Logan can think well enough to absorb that, to take it in. He presses his hands on Alivian's shoulders, tries to demand thought and explanation of him. He's not thinking about how difficult that would be for him right now. ]

What do you mean, yet?

[Alivian reflexively growls when they stop. Fuck. This isn't a conversation that he wanted to have while getting perhaps the only dick in his entire, miserable existence, with... well, frankly, the first friendly stranger he's ever met.

[Fortunately, the lack of stimulation helps him regain coherency, and he sighs roughly as he pulls his mouth free.]

...Fuck.

[He does, at least, completely stop moving, on top of not biting or clawing him anymore..]

Explain, or I won't do that again.

[ But if he gets an explanation, he probably will. He just wants to know what he's dealing with here. He likes being assured in what reality is, in what the terms and limitations are. If he's not, then he doesn't know he's not going to screw up.

But he shows that he is willing to try again by not pulling out, even while they have this conversation. ]

Just... gimme a second...

[There's too much blood away from his brain. He takes a few steadier breaths, and briefly rests his forehead against Logan's shoulder for stability.]

...I'm in the process of dying over time, alright? My bones are going to be the first to go. That's all. They've already partially gone weak.

[He pointedly pats the leg that he hasn't been favoring.]

The medicine I'm on drains some stuff to keep me from rapidly crashing. Uses that energy to convince my brain that I'm not actually-- missing nutrients.

[Alivian frowns, looking over at the rumpled, bloody blankets.]

I have seven doses left on hand. Never need to carry a month's worth when I'm just going to work and back. Once that runs out, I have... hours? Days? I don't know. But it'll be hell, I'll collapse, and die in absolute agony.

[His tongue flicks over his lips, and then he absently uses the back of his hand to try to wipe his mouth clean. It doesn't really work; even his hands are marked by Logan's blood. His mouth is also too bloody to wipe clean, anyway.]

Satisfied?

[He is absolutely Not Happy to have this conversation.]

Can anything prevent this? Or is it just going to happen?

[ Logan feels a dread in his stomach, curling deep within it. Is he going to lose someone yet again? How could he make the mistake of starting to like this person after just a few minutes? He has to stop becoming attached so quickly. But that's how it happened with Jean, too. She had him immediately and he was a goner. ]

What can I do? Anything?

[ He'll tear the world to hell and back if it means keeping someone alive, even if he doesn't know them yet. And he feels like he knows this person somewhat, even after such a small amount of encounters. They may have been small but they were intense. ]

...Why do you care?

[Rather than angry, the words are tired, reserved. His ears fold flat, but neither out of anger nor fear.]

If we can get out fast, it won't be your concern.

[He wants to run, the fluttering in his heart more of anxiety than anything sexy, though most of those hormones still happily race in his blood.]

And I'll get out of your life fast, so you can forget me just as quickly.

[He doesn't seem as convinced of his own words at all, though his careful, even tone is admirable. Even in the face of the remnants of his earlier desperation and ecstasy, he tries to calm himself down.

[He should pull away, but... he doesn't want to. He wants to stay, but it would be cruel to. But his body doesn't want to move.]

As if I could forget you now!

[ Logan does pull out at this point, feeling a little upset and angry. But he keeps the rest of the closeness, wrapping one arm around Alivian's waist in contrast to his other action. With the hand not on him, he gestures frantically, almost in an emotional frenzy. ]

There's too much. We've done too much. We have - there's too much.

Ngh!

[The sudden withdrawal punches a half-muffled noise out of him, arousal hitting him harder and trying to shake his logical mind loose. He steels against it, preparing to be pushed away, physically, but it doesn't happen.

[Why doesn't it happen? He looks at Logan in open shock, seeing - smelling - what flickers on and through him, to some extent. He doesn't try to pull away, but that's partially the aches talking. The rest, he dare not name.]

...We've already done what helps stop it. More than once.

[His voice is low and reserved as he speaks, a fragment of trepidation entering his scent.]

The Commands. We're compatible, but it would be wrong to keep doing it just because it keeps me alive.

[He knows that's wrong the moment he says it, but he's not firing on all cylinders right now.]

There's no guarantee that it would let me live a full life, anyway. At worst, it would buy me more time than the medicine does.

[He eventually focuses on Logan again, a somber expression on his face - deep enough to really furrow his brow.]

Do you really want to tether yourself to me like that? I could... fall apart in front of you, and there wouldn't be anything that anyone could do.

And then what? I've burdened you further.

You know what? I'm fucked, too.

What do you think about that?

[ He shakes his head and looks into Alivian's eyes, being entirely serious. He's never talked about this to anyone before, but he needs to now. Maybe it'll help emphasize his side of things. ]

My blood is poisoned, constantly. I don't heal as well as I should. Eventually I won't heal at all anymore.

It gets worse and worse every day, and eventually it's possible I'll actually die. I'll definitely get sick.

It happened to another me. Got chestfucked by a tree trunk and couldn't heal out of it.

[ Yes, Wade's description of what had happened was so memorable that he's repeating it. it accurately described the situation, okay? ]

I don't care if you have limited time, because I sure as fuck do too.

Edited 2024-08-28 01:27 (UTC)

..So that's what I was tasting in your blood.

[Alivian has the grace to look repentant, at least. Even though the term "chestfucked" gets a slight twitch out of his mouth. It's not funny, and he's not sure why his mouth twitched like that.]

...I don't know what to think.

[A lie. He knows that their thoughts are the same. "Is there anything I can do?" It chokes around his throat, and dares not resound. Back home-- there's bound to be something that he could help him with, right? Some herb mixture, or a deal with a faerie in exchange for something dear-- His brow furrows with it, with his concern - perhaps even his scent reeks of it.

[Hesitantly, he reaches out with bloodstained hands, and lightly touches his shoulders. "Why couldn't I have I met you sooner?" aches in his throat.]

How are you getting poisoned so continuously?

[It's definitely the tone of someone who wants to help him, too.]

[ And Logan is going to call him out on it. His own mouth twitches in a bit of a cynical smirk. ]

Hypocrite.

[ He takes those bloodstained hands in his own, holds onto them. ]

You saw my claws. They weren't like that when I first got them. It's called adamantium. Someone coated my bones with it, but it's toxic.

if you tried to bite my bones, or break my skull with your own, you'd just get hurt, because it's a fucking strong substance.

[Alivian is half about to try to convince himself to pull away, until Logan holds those bloodied hands of his.]

Of course I'm a hypocrite.

[It's just a calm acknowledgement. Plain, and resigned.

[He looks at Logan's hands, considering them as his ears remain half-lowered.]

...Good to know that if I hadn't been holding back my jaw strength, I would have broken my teeth.

[He can't seem to look up just yet, though, and his ears only flatten even more as he struggles to say anything more.]

I'm going to help you.

You can't stop me, you can't make me do otherwise. Not even if you Command me.

[ Logan is insistent about this promise, and he squeezes Alivian's hands. He doesn't like seeing those ears flat; he doesn't think this will fix it, because it's the opposite of what the man wants, but he simply can't help himself. ]

I will resist and I will make you better.

[Alivian gives an honest-to-god huff through his nose at that. Of course.]

There's no point in giving you antagonistic Commands. Doing so will damage the both of us.

Me, because I can't fathom giving such Commands. You, because you will not wish to comply, so your every fibre will struggle against me. You will possibly enter Drop - a state that will heavily take its toll on your body and mind.

[But if he gives no Commands at all? Logan can't make him talk.]

Oh, shut up.

[ Logan is tired of the circular argument. He hates these the most. Just going around and around and everyone gets tired, nobody gets what they want. ]

Or I'll make you.

[ Is that even a threat? All he can think of to do so is kiss him, and so - he does. It's probably unexpected in the middle of an argument, but that's the brilliance of it. ]

[Fortunately or not, Alivian does "shut up" at the retort, before the kiss even happens. This time, without the heat of the moment, the kiss shocks him even harder. With his hands held, he can't shove a hand between them.

[He can only sink into it, feeling every fibre of his being screaming for more.

[He doesn't have the energy to fight - much of it spent in finding the damned house, and the rest of it used to lift Logan up while they rutted together.

[He can't convince himself to push away, anyway. Not that he just passively lets it happen. He kisses back, just as firm - and being very, very careful to keep his expression neutral without the mask.

[Still, the pressure of his Glare rises a little when he cracks his eyes open - less yielding than the first time.]

[ He breaks off the kiss at that, feeling the Glare like a heavy burden. Like he's trying to lift a thousand pounds and failing, even though he's never failed at that before. ]

You're doing that on purpose.

[ His tone is definitely accusatory, he's angry. It's all he can do to not cover up Alivian's eyes, and see if that relieves the pressure - but he would never do that to someone. He knows what it's like to have your powers restrained. It's not something he'd do to anyone else, because it implies you can't handle them being who they are.

He can handle this, goddammit. ]

It won't change anything.

[Alivian just stares at him as they part, heart twisting into knots even as his wounded pride tries to assert itself.

[He shouldn't have gotten so close. Fuck, he should have kept to himself, hunted, slept, and moved on.

[He clicks his tongue and slowly evens out his expression - with several deep breaths and repeatedly closing his eyes. The feeling abates with it, lingering as that ever-there presence against Logan's skin.

[Logan did say "shut up" after all.

[His ears stay low, and his tail gives a few aggravated thumps on the bedding.

[But he still doesn't pull away - unhappy expression and all.]

I'm not telling you to stop.

[ Logan doesn't know how to make this better. They're having a direct conflict, so quickly after meeting, and it feels terrible. He doesn't like it at all. But he's also not going to back down and say he's not going to help him. That just isn't an option at all. ]

Do what you need to do. I'm not judging, I'm not suffering and I can take it.

[ He takes a hint from the fact Alivian isn't pulling away and holds him tighter, trying to make the physical contact comforting for him. ]

[More highly aggressive tail thumping. Really, really hard on the bedding. Alivian stares pointedly at him.

[After a moment, he tries to pull one hand away. Not to get away, but to throw the whole damned blanket that he can pull over - over his own head. Followed by more aggressive tail thumping.

[Alivian knows that this is a losing battle he's fighting. He really can't go against someone like Logan - at least not physically.

[But the break in eye contact somewhat helps. Enough that his next set of tail thumps soften.]

....I thought you were a wolf, not a dog.

[ He considers, before reaching under the blanket and touching his back. He doesn't try to take it off, or force him to make eye contact, he's just. He's just touching him gently, trying to show he's still not judging, that he's going to be there.

Even if his tone is admonishing, he's still not judging. ]

[There's a flinch at the touch he doesn't expect, body going ramrod straight until he processes that it's safe. It's safe.]

...Woof.

[Which still somehow translates in on itself, like an echo reverberating once off of cave walls.

["Yes" is all that echoes with it.

[But he does start to calm down, his tail lashing abating bit by bit. He still doesn't come out even five minutes after his tail stills.

[But it's progress?]

...you're probably uncomfortable. And feeling gross.

[ Logan is trying logic now to get him out. He sat there for the five minutes, just rubbing his back gently, but eventually it grows old. He has to try something. ]

Don't you want to wash off? Get clean?

Come out for that?

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cw: death talk

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cw: bad health

cw: bad health

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