bakerstreet

[OOC: Assumed CR and misfires are fine!]

A. I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings. B. Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake. C. I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now. D. Text Guin.

Edited 2024-04-26 16:00 (UTC)

1. I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work

2. My only contacts are booty calls and the beer league hockey team. Who are also at least 50% booty calls.

3. I treated a guy that got his head stuck in a fishbowl tonight. No, I don’t have any fucking idea how he did it.

4. I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy

5. Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a cowboy hat

6. Bring your own text!

Edited 2024-04-26 16:01 (UTC)

Does it have anything to do with me?

Only everything. Damn you for being so sexy.

Be careful or someone from your crew will see.

That's literally the problem. I need to make this go away.

Bathroom? I’ll help you.

I mean. Yeah. Someone's gonna catch us at some point though.

How about thinking of some unsexy thoughts? I promise I’m not gonna rile you up again like last time.

Unless you want it again, that is.

You need to stop. I keep thinking about you, and how hot you are.

Alright, alright. I'll stop.

I won't tell you how my hard cock is craving your mouth right now.

My mouth and not my ass? Because it's my ass that wants you right now. Or maybe my mouth, as long as you have yours on me too.

Okay, your ass. We'll go for what you want right now.

Now that makes me even harder. Damn. You know I love your ass more than anything.

Well, this ass is waiting for you when you get home, handsome.

Can't wait to be home, then, babe.

That was definitely my brother. He's a genius when it comes to stupid shit.

what are the chances? Can you tell me how it happened?

Edited 2024-04-28 17:04 (UTC)

He wanted to impress his boyfriend and insisted he was an astronaut. Give him enough alcohol and....

Head in a fish bowl.

I just… how did it fit?

Was he sweet smelling?

Duck sauce.

How incredibly disturbing. I think that I actually didn't want to know.

The start to that is not ask questions you're not fully investing in finding out the answers.

one. Who is this?

two. I want him carnally. [ alternatively: "I want her/them carnally." ]

three. I'm sorry I stabbed you last night. It will happen again.

four. [ Just a picture of a bakery window. It's like one in the morning. You're drunk, Nanami. ]

five. [ or text him! ]

[ why is kiritani even awake rn... ]

Looks like they're closed...

[ why IS kiritani awake ]

I'll wait. They have good bread.

[ nanami no........ ]

[ don't ask questions you don't want the answer to (answer: depression) ]

That's a five hour wait. How good can bread be?

[ kiritani.............. ]

It's really good bread.

[ that seems to be his only defense ]

[ nanami's not one to talk????? ]

Better than sleep?

[ LISTEN............. ]

I can't sleep.

Troubled?

I shouldn't complain.

But drowning it in bread is okay?

The bread is innocent. And I'm hungry.

It also won't be ready for another five hours.
Go to a convenience store, at least. Be respectable.

Be respectable, he says. Go to sleep, he says. What if a man just wants his life to fall apart and eat some bread?

Ah, well... If that's the case, there are better things to eat (and drink) than bread.

What street is that bakery on?

I already drank a lot of sake, admittedly.

[ And to be more precise about where the bakery is, Nanami just drops the address in the chat. ]

I was thinking something sweeter.

Like what? Hot cocoa?

Nothing that serves hot cocoa is open right now.

I'm talking about a slushee.

Oh.

Suddenly I really want a slushee.

I have good news for you.

Time to find a 7/11.

... You're helping me feel a little less despair and bread driven now, thank you.

There's one two blocks away from you.

[ the same one he happens to be ten minutes away from, now. ]

Always here to help out any future breads.

[ well, at least then they can have slushees together.

as it is, nanami doesn't reply right away but in a few minutes, kiritani will get — ]

The melon cream soda slurpee is really good.

Save some for the rest of us.

[ "us" being kiritani only, showing up about five minutes after nanami himself has just settled into his big gulp. he greets the man with a mild wave of a hand, as he comes to sit beside him. ]

Rough week?

[ He looks up when Kiritani joins him and honestly, the slurpee has helped him sober up a little. So he just looks mildly out of it instead of extremely when their eyes meet. ]

Mm, yes. Could've been better. Once again wondering why I do what I do but what's new?

[ kiritani inclines his head briefly when their eyes meet. if he were the more tactile type, he'd lean over and gently nudge the other, but as it is he's still painfully reserved even at 1 in the morning. ]

You do what you do because if you didn't do it, who will?

Can I do anything for you?

[ At the very least, Nanami understands. He's not very tactile himself but he's still a little looser right now with the alcohol so he's a little slouched more than he would typically be. ]

You are correct.

[ A sigh. He is a sorcerer because he is good at it and they need people to be good at it. ]

... Your company is fine enough. As I sit here and drink this ridiculous drink. It is quite refreshing.

[ kiritani may not know nanami that well, but he knows enough about the man to know this: that no matter how difficult, how scary, how dangerous it might be — nanani won't ever back down. he'll keep fighting, because it's what's right. kiritani has never admired another man more than he does nanami, especially now, seeing him so tired, maybe even a little broken. and yet he'll pick himself up and do the same thing all over again. ]

The sugar will kick in soon, and then you'll have a wonderful few hours before it crashes and you're forced to rest. You can thank me later.

[ It's just what he has to do. To protect people. To find fulfillment. To make things right. He will get up the next day, gets dressed, and move out to do his duties. Even if nights like tonight come where it all seems like kind of a wash. ]

... I'm going to sleep well, huh? Well, that sounds better than going to sleep drunk. I'm not really one for sweets but I'll take the sugar crash this time.

What about you? Are you looking forward to the crash?

Me? No no, none for me this time. Someone needs to be awake enough to walk you home, right?

[ He tilts his head slightly at that, as if looking at Kiritani in a new light. ]

That's very kind of you to offer.

there ARE easier ways to flirt
but i can't say it's not intriguing

Intriguing? This is why you're single.

just because my interests aren't conventionally acceptable doesn't mean you have to be mean

You like me mean. Just like you like when I try to stab you.

Huh, maybe I am flirting with you.

if stabbing is a love language of yours we're going to need to set some boundaries nanami-kun

It's not... not a love language? I have better ones though, I assure you.

Who?

[ :3 ]

No.

[ checks... id.... ugh he sure did send this to him ]

Stop.

Stop what?

That. You.

[ he is still very drunk ]

I don't want you carnally.

I see.

[ cute. ]

Do you have a way of getting home?

[ he's not cute!!! ]

I can get a taxi but I don't want to go home yet.

[ he's very cute. ]

It's still early.

[ even if it's... midnight. listen, they've met up at 2am before. ]

What do young people say these days
Thanks for the invite?

[ argh. ]

I didn't invite you anywhere.

[ silence for a moment before — ]

Are you coming out or do you want me to come to your place?

I know.
I'm heartbroken.

[ not heartbroken enough to grab more drinks though. ]

I'll meet you.
Where did you end up going?

Shut up.

[ he's going to STRANGLE you ]

The place with the good okonomiyaki from last time.

[ as always, nanami is driven by his foodie instincts. let's not talk about the fact this place is really close to higuruma's apartment, no ]

[ that's hot. ]

You did seem to really like that place.

[ the proximity is just a nice bonus, it's fine. higuruma won't comment but he's thinking it. as usual, nanami's not beating the cute allegations. ]

Put in a whiskey for me.
I'll be there soon.

[ pervert. ]

It's a nice place.

[ these FALSEHOODS. he's a grown ex-salaryman, he cannot be cute. ]

Fine. Hurry up.

[ he likes it.

he's a grown ex-salaryman and very capable in every aspect of his life, and yet, higuruma is so endeared. maybe it's the way he acts so annoyed at times despite wanting to see him, the honesty in his actions against his severe countenance. maybe it's that little furrow between his brows, the twist of his lips like he's just sucked on a lemon.

in any case, despite waxing poetic about nanami's face, he does arrive soon as promised. having left at a fairly decent hour to finish up his casework at home, he's out of his suit for once and in a pair of jeans and a polo shirt instead. ]

You look like you've been having fun. [ higuruma drops into the seat next to him, amusement in his tone as he flags someone down for water. ] Hopefully, this makes up for last week.

[ u know... when he got handsy after getting drunk at the abandoned hospital. ]

[ He can't help it. He's so hopelessly smitten with Higuruma that it comes out in frustrated bites of sentences and a furrow of his brow. Straight laced Nanami Kento does not know how to deal with the feelings in his chest when he looks at or even thinks about Higuruma and so... so, this is how he deals with them. By being frustrated by them.

Higuruma does not help by showing up looking devastatingly handsome in a rare sight of him being out of his suit. Nanami has to blink a few times to take it in before he lets out a soft huh.

Contrasting that, Nanami is still in his suit but his jacket is off to the side, his sunglasses are removed, and his tie is a little loose. There's a pink to his cheeks from the alcohol and his hair is hangs a little in his face from him running his fingers through it. ]

This is my third one.

[ He points with his chopsticks to the okonomiyaki he's eating at the moment. The whiskey for Higuruma sits across from him and a half-empty sake bottle that Nanami's clearly been demolishing sits on the table as well. ]

And I'm not... mad about last week. Not anymore. Your black eye is gone.

[ straight-laced nanami kento doesn't know how to deal with feelings and, well, neither does higuruma, honestly. but he's come to terms with it, he thinks. there's no denying the fact that he cares about nanami, that he's grown fond of him; that he fills the void in his chest left by the futility of their jobs, of life in general.

the warm lighting softens the flush on nanami's cheeks, smooths over the angles of his face; the fondness in higuruma's expression turns a little helpless as he reaches for his own chopsticks to steal a piece of that okonomiyaki. ]

Mm. I picked up a few things. [ "a few things." just learning rct on his own, nbd. ] But, I'm glad. It doesn't excuse what I did, but I'd like to make it up to you.

[ Nanami sits here, lifting a hand to rest his cheek on his curled fist, staring at Higuruma from across the table. His eyes are half-lidded and unfortunately, just as fond as Higuruma's and he'll take another bite of the food, still watching the other man. ]

... Yeah, you did, didn't you?

[ Said a little admirably. Freggin' self-taught weirdo. His eyebrow does raise at the last part though and he lets out a curious hum. ]

How are you going to make it up to me?

I did.

[ admiration from nanami is a rare thing; given his experience in the field, it says a lot. while higuruma's insistence on figuring complex techniques out himself is mainly to satisfy his own stubbornness in the pursuit of knowledge, it's still nice to hear. they're running low on hands, anyway. the sooner he starts pulling his weight, the better.

but, anyway. higuruma's smile tilts further up in one corner, helping himself to another bite of nanami's food as he meets that half-lidded gaze. ]

The new restaurant that opened up recently, [ the one that serves everything in bread bowls. a novelty that only nanami would be into. he likely only mentioned it in passing once, but higuruma remembers. ] I made a reservation for tomorrow night, if you still wanted to go.

[ To say that he was expecting Higuruma to offer up something like this would be a lie. He looks genuinely surprised for a few reasons. One, that Higuruma remembered him mentioning something like this restaurant in the first place. Then two, that he even got reservations and was prepared to offer them, like a date. They often go out to eat together but izakayas and bars don't really compare to a real restaurant like that.

... Huh.

His heart can't help but do a funny little flip as he processes all this and it takes a lot for him not to do something foolish, like drag Higuruma in for a kiss. Instead he just takes some more food in his mouth, chewing slowly as he calms himself down and then — ]

Apology accepted. I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

[ Bread!! Bowls!! ]

[ his expression softens as he watches the surprise play out on nanami's face, the momentary pause as he smooths it back down to something neutral. they've been doing this enough by now that higuruma recognizes his tells, and he's... pleased, gratified that this was the proper course.

they've never really gone on a date yet; their schedules don't often align (if ever) and the nature of their work doesn't allow for much freedom in relationships. but he finds himself wanting to try anyway in spite of it. ]

It's at six. I thought I could come by and we could go together. [ like... an actual date. ] Would that be alright?

[ Nanami wants to try. Higuruma makes him feel so... good. Like an ache in his chest, he wants to do everything with the other man. Have meals, have sex, sleep together — just sleep, and so much more. Now this offer here of a date, of something the two of them can do together on purpose and make a significant memory from?

Yeah, he wants that. ]

... That would be alright.

[ The sake hits then and makes him feel sentimental, makes him ache to reach out and touch Higuruma as well. Instead he takes a larger bite of the okonomiyaki just to do something with his hands and ducks his head, trying to hide the light blush on his face.

Ahhh, he's so smitten. ]

Go for it, live your best life!
Shoko supports you too.

Who is he?

Stop reading my texts to you to Ieiri-san.

[ . . . ]

Some lawyer.

I'm not reading them out.
She's hanging from my shoulder, drunk and inconsolable because you were unavailable.

Aren't lawyers evil?

Last time I drank with her, I don't remember most of the night. My liver can only take so much.

And yes.

She doesn't magic-finger your liver after making you suffer?

But he's smart? Hot? Both?

It's the emotional scars, Gojo-san.

Both. It's frustrating.

Ah, well, can't speak to that.
I'm just an emotionless inanimate object.

Sounds like your type.
Don't be frustrated.
Go be carnal, have fun.

That sounds about right for you.

I'm going to be frustrated. He's a lawyer. Which means he has ridiculous working hours. Which means he's not available right now either.

Want us to persuade him to drop everything for you?

That sounds like a threat.

Nanami!
How can you say that?
You know us!

[ yes, Nanami does know them, and they're both menaces. that's the biggest problem. ]

Exactly. Remember what Ieiri-san did to my first boyfriend?

Would 'remind me' be an appropriate response?

[ of course he doesn't remember what Shoko did. he doesn't even remember Nanami's first boyfriend! ]

Of course you don't remember.

She let a bunch of flyheads into his apartment after our first argument. He couldn't sleep for a week.

Why should I remember garbage that wasn't good enough for you?

Ooh, right, I remember collecting them for her.
He was a dickhead anyway.

He was but still not the best way to handle that. He was a civilian, after all.

So, please leave the lawyer alone.

Civilians are the number one cause for curses in the first place, but hey.

Fine, I'll hold her back.
Will you let us meet him after you've done unspeakable things to each other?

Maybe not directly after but I'll set up some time for you to meet if it seems worthwhile. I take it it's not worth warning you against embarrassing me, is it?

What, no post-coital face time? 😟

Nanami, you're perpetually embarrassed by knowing me so even my best behaviour won't be of any use here.

Rather not think about you during my post-coital times, Gojo-san.

And while this is true, that's still no excuse to not be on your best behavior regardless.

I'm always on my best behaviour.
But for you I'll be even bestester. 😚

Not a word.

[ BUT THAT'S ALL HE REPLIES WITH. ]

🫰🫰🫰🫰🫰

Nanami, if you want bread from there, go to bed. I'll be there in the morning with some at your door.

[Did Nanami wake him up, or has he always been awake tonight? Who knows.]

You promise?

I promise. :)

Please feel free to tell me if you want any types in particular.

[Or else he's basically going to come over with two or three of everything they have.]

I'm

[ He sends that too quickly, drunk fingers stumbling over the phone and then — ]

Maybe too drunk to decide. I want everything.

Then you'll get everything. I was going to do that to some extent, anyway.

I'll make sure to get at least two or three of everything. So feel free to rest easy. You won't need to choose either-or.

Make sure to drink some water when you get home, too. I'll be happy to assist you if you need anything.

[He writes a note to himself while setting his alarm to make sure Nanami has some electrolyte mixes as well, just in case.]

You're very sweet, Alivian-san. I'm on my way home now. Will you keep talking to me as I make the trip?

Of course.

Drinking a little much aside, how was your day?

Tedious. I've wanted to go home since I left my apartment this morning. What about you?

Tiring. Better now that I'm speaking with you in this moment.

Bringing you tasty snacks is going to be the first highlight of my day tomorrow, for sure. Snacks and possibly cuddling, I think, could do us both some solid good.

I do like cuddling. You're very soft.

Now I have something to look forward to.

Soft, huh? I understand.

[A remnant of living in frigid territory all his life just means that he maintains body fat more than the climate of this area requires. That on top of plush fur to sink fingers deep into.]

I like cuddling with you, too. I tend to feel very safe near you, and you're very comfortable.

That makes me feel really cherished. Thank you.

I'm glad to hear that.

I'll make sure you know it when you're sober, too. :)

[Just for giggles, he includes a selfie, since it means he can keep his mask off. He's smiling for the camera in bed, and the angle also includes the excessive motion blur of his wagging tail behind him.]

[Overflow~]

1. At what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?

2. This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right

3. Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.

4. I love you with all my boobs. I would say heart but my boobs are bigger.

5. I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird

6. Bring your own text!

....but you don't smoke.
Do you?

I definitely do not. But for her, I would.

I don't understand how that works.

She's my inspiration.

I think you can still use her as inspiration and not start smoking.

I guess you're right. Or I can just swap out for another thing to smoke.

Such as what?

The Devil's Lettuce, of course.

Ah, right.
Do you find that enjoyable?

Yeah. I don't do it all the time, but it's nice to relax, or to help me sleep.

Do you often have a hard time falling asleep?

Yeah, I mean, I'm almost always thinking about science and sometimes I just need to make my brain quiet.

I can understand that.
I often can't make my mind stop but usually I just stay up and work on things until it quiets down.

Amazingly right, kitten. A little upstart never hurt anyone.

Well, that makes me feel a lot better. Thanks.

They should want their kids to be me.

Celebrated phenomena Darcy Lewis, careening around the Earth on adventures wild and true, a vertitable constellation of shining brilliance! Watch as she navigates the highs and lows of her job with the gargantuan task of saving this world and that! No powers, no problem: our capable heroin needs only her wits and charm to turn the tide, and she'll do it all with a smile on those perfect red lips, a song in her heart, and a negroni or two.

Fuck those parents. They should very much hope to have a fraction of what you have, darling.

[ that's basically Thomas Zane speak for "You're welcome." ]

Wildness should be celebrated. Fun even more so.

If only these parents had the same opinion you do. And. If only they knew that I'm a scientist, they might change their tune ;)

You have a really big heart, Darcy. I'm just not sure anyone's heart can compete with your boob size.
I love you back, with all my heart. And all my boobs, too. Pecs? Boobs.

PETER!!!! <3<3<3

I love that you love me with all your boobs too!

Love you back a whole bunch!
Maybe we should hang tonight? Put our boobs together or something?

I would absolutely love to see you. Come over when you have time later.

I can cook, and then maybe netflix and chill... topless?

100%.

You doing anything topless is A-fucking-Okay by me.
But then you already know that within four minutes of you taking your top off I'm probably going to have your tits in my hands or mouth. Or both.

Well, the whole point of netflix and chill is more the chill side of things.

I'll put on something sexy, and then maybe you can unwrap your present. What do you think about that?

With you, I'm less 'chill' and more 'on fire'.

I think I'm going to be swinging to your place with a full erection. Thank God I move too fast for cameras to really catch me.

Oh? Should I be ready for you? Lying in my bed, already undressed, netflix playing softly in the backgorund?

Or do you want the pleasure of undressing me yourself?

Maybe... both? Lying in bed, partially undressed? Because I do kinda wanna... peel you out of things.

I'm sure I can figure out something you can peel me out of.

I wish you were here right now, taking me out of things.

Me too. I miss you, a whole bunch.
Wish I were slipping under the sheets of your bed, kissing my way up your body.

continued here

1 ► They're letting me teach a freshman class now. This university needs better background checks.
2 ► You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
3 ► At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
4 ► There comes a time every man's life when you ask yourself "Will I fake love for blowjobs?" and the answer is always yes

Looks like men and women have something in common, don't they?

I won't ask names, but been successful?

In Sumeru? Pretty successful, yeah.

I don't really have to fake it with them, and that's nice, too... though I also feel like I've been so successful that there's got to be a catch somewhere.

Feels almost like too much of a good thing.

And you didn't have to fake it? Quite the charmer you are.

I knew you had some troublemaking in you somewhere, but a heartbreaker as well? I'd say take it in stride.

What's the worst that can happen?

Um... that's a good point. I'd say "they might find out about each other," but I think they already know... and I'd say "they might hate each other," but I think they already hate each other a little bit...

It seems to be working. It just also seems like it might blow up in my face.

...Anyway, are you saying that because you're also a heartbreaker, Dehya?

See that, they can't get mad at you if no commitment was made and they all hate each other? They also get a benefit from it.

Haha I can say I've been around as well, but they'd rather be heartbroken than to let me go so we both have that in common.

Though I will say you're much more charming than I am so you're probably the biggest heartbreaker of us all. Some of these guys can learn a thing or two.

I don't know if I'm particularly charming. I think I've got a terrible personality but a cute face.

Well, if it blows up on me, I'll ask you to vouch for me in the court of public opinion.

...Or Nahida might step in before things get that bad.

Sorry but where's this terrible personality? I've yet to see it for myself.

You know I've got your back. I'll keep all those wild dogs in line for you.

... Or she might have to step in for both of us if they push my buttons enough.

I think we have that in common...

[ aether's terrible personality is that he'll take his frustration out on random treasure hoarders and other ne'er-do-wells if hard-pressed... but dehya does the same thing, only she doesn't really remember the stuff from the samsara anyway, so he'll leave it at that. ]

I'm sure it won't get that bad. Worst-case scenario, someone walks away with their feelings hurt.

But I feel like I'm pretty good at soothing that kind of thing... so my relationship troubles will hopefully not result in the end of Sumeru as we know it.

one. How bad does the situation have to be before it's OK to attempt "catastrophic event" sex
two. I gave up drinking but airports are like international waters anyway, they don't count
three. You're appealing to emotions that I simply do not have
four. It's not toxic masculinity if I treat men and women equally shittily
five. [ text him! info. ]

Subjectivity is in the eye of the beholder and the world's in a constant state of misery!
Catastrophic event sex should be whenever you want it to be.

Thing is, I don't wanna waste it

I understand. Would be a shame to unveil a masterpiece at the wrong moment. Same for world ending sex, I suppose.

As long as you're still using that pretty face to kiss and tell and not saving yourself for the end of times. That would be absolutely tragic.

not actually sure that's how it works

I'm pretty sure it is

Toxic masculinity is when men treat women bad

[ look, he did not go to college to get a degree in "gender studies" or "liberal arts" or "literature", okay. it's a miracle he knows that toxic masculinity is a phrase at all. ]

( oh frank you ~~sweet summer child~~ overgrown manchild. sammy knows she isn't dumb, but it's so rare she feels like "the smart one"™️. )

sort of, sure

but it can also mean acting like an aggro john wayne type douchebro just because you think that's how men are supposed to act

Sammy, I act the way I do because it's the way I act

Not because I have some idea that I'm supposed to act this way

[ ... ]

Would you describe me as a John Wayne type

hey, i'm not the one who called you toxic

( thought it, maybe.

but also, does she look like she watches john wayne movies, frank? )

maybe a little?

you seem like more of a planner than he does but you can be pretty fucking aggressive for no reason sooooo

I've never been "aggressive for no reason" in my life

oh sure. you're super chill all the time

expect for all the yelling and grumpy cat faces

I never said I'm not aggressive

I'm just never aggressive for no reason

do you ever feel like maybe you're too loose with the no reason thing?

What's that supposed to mean

that maybe you should try holding off for a good reason, not just any reason

All of my reasons are good

What's your point here

just that you're kind of an angry person and should maybe consider getting a therapist

you know there's no shame in it these days

You sound exactly like my ex wife

okay fuck you

i was trying to help

stay angry then

1 ► I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs, however, are perfectly acceptable.
2 ► Yeah, a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
3 ► Okay everyone share your shitty customer stories because I just had a grade A 100% BITCH on the phone
4 ► luofu fanfic writers treating jing yuan as this perfect written-by-a-woman lover eternally devoted to his muse and ignoring that he is a walking red flag is so funny to me

Okay you're not wrong but you're also admitting to reading that much Jing Yuan romance RPF that you can form a solid opinion? Like girl what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament

Dude it's everywhere

People are super into this "Xianzhou Sword Tale" series and this guy in it named "Jim Yan" is 100% Jing Yuan lol

...Wait, you've been to the Luofu? Did you actually leave that bomb behind?

Oh yeah, I know about that one. People will pay good money to get autographed hardcovers.

[And no one is surprised that Sampo knows this.]

I've been to all sorts of places, left behind all kinds of things. Could you be a little more specific?

You left a prank box in the Luofu for me to find. I found it and it knocked me out, by the way. Thanks for that.

Can't you just text me "thinking of you" like a normal person?

❤️ thinking of you ❤️

You're so annoying

Anyway, look, I read a lot of the Jing Yuan / reader spin-offs but none of it was very good

❤️❤️❤️🍆

Aren't you friends with the General? Why bother with reader insert fanfic when you can go talk to him yourself? I mean, he's a little old for you, but if you're into that kind of thing...

We're friends, I guess, and he's cool...

I'm not into him, I just think the fantasies are funny

[ ... ]

His retainer / adoptive son is a friend of mine too, so I feel a bit bad about talking about him like this but

I'm gonna be real, I don't even think his dick would be as good as yours anyway

Edited 2024-04-26 18:31 (UTC)

It's only weird if he finds out that you talk about how good his adoptive dad's dick is.

How old is Jing Yuan, anyway? All of those decades of experience have to count for something, unless he's as lazy in bed as he's rumored to be everywhere else. Even a big cock can't make up for a lack of effort!

Which is why yours truly is so good.

Well, yeah, that's what I'm thinking... He's always sleepy, and he was injured recently, too. So unless he wants to go all "I am the reinforcements" on me, he's just gonna lay there...

[ sorry yanqing SORRY YANQING he respects and loves you!!!

...he respects and loves jing yuan too. but sometimes. you have to speculate. ]

Anyway, what do you mean by that? You like me 'cause I'm enthusiastic?

I guess he won't be summoning the lightning lord all over you any time soon, huh?

[What does that even mean, Sampo?]

There's a lot to be said for enthusiasm! You're always up for anything, and that's fun in the bedroom. I like a guy who's willing to experiment. Keeps things from getting boring!

[ i misread that last tag but we're gonna pretend it's fine. anyway, it's pretty clear what sampo means. caelus has some other bones to pick with jing yuan that add up to not actually wanting to fuck him, but he'll let them go for now; it's a bit odd to vent about them to sampo, who is both a friend-with-benefits and somewhat removed from the situation. he moves on. ]

That's good to hear. Sometimes I worry I'm not exciting enough. We've been kinda steady for a while.

If you have any fantasies you want me to fulfill, I'll make them happen, you know. No service charge.

Familiarity doesn't have to lead to boredom! If you can't keep your sex life interesting after knowing someone for more than one night, that's a skill issue.

I'll bring a few things the next time we meet up, we can talk about it ❤️

Sounds like fun.

Can I get a preview? Or does it have to be a surprise?

How do feel about restraints?

Oh.

I could get REALLY into that.

On you, on me, both at the same time...

I'm not opposed to being tied up myself! I recently got some really nice rope that I'd like to break in a little, too. It'd look nice on you.

Let's do it, let's play around. See what works.

I'm pretty flexible. Just be nice to me...

i. What you figure horses dream about?

ii. You don't understand. I got to keep a steady black out going the next few weeks, I reckon. He says we're going to Philadelphia.

iii. False claims. If you didn't want me worrying, you wouldn't go off and do dumbass branded shit.

iv. Let's say, for argument's sake, God is bonafide real. …you think that son of a bitch takes days off?

v. (idk, idk. if you'd rather, shoot a text his way. 😣)

Men calling out greetings but never bringing out hey.

It's a nightmare!

Working on some material for an equus audience?

A fiendish critic, are you?

Course not.

Just fiendish.

(augh. 😔 i'm sorry i tend to fall slower than i mean on tfln… weekends are my main work hours time.)

You! When did you discover so much audacity? Where was it hidden all along?

( Please don't worry! )

Come on, now. Your talent for perception is stronger than that.

Now, what's all this flattery, all of a sudden?

Is the truth flattery?

You have a mouth for kindness now?

please don't.
you'll destroy your liver

Great. Then maybe I'll be spared before I get stuck there.

Probably not. If he's that powerful, he wouldn't need to rest, right?

Guess so.

1. Call me cute again and I'll just have to prove to you how not cute I am.

2. You could make me pancakes and our night would be so much better.

3. Do you ever just want a hug? Like, just a hug, nothing else.

4. Love running from the police while the bad guys get away. Great night, let's not do this again.

5. I've been rethinking that suit choice since I was a teenager. We all make mistakes when we're young and stupid.

Yea, like all the time.

Huh. It's not all the time for me.

Okay it's more like most of the time.

1. sorry abouts your sharpie. murderface wanted to shaves the left sides of his body so he hads me draws a line overs him with a ruler

2. we didnts means to puts a petting zoo ins the elevator.

3. i thoughts since you asked to sees my dick i might as wells say hi

4. thens she just started hittins me with a loafs of bread.

5. [text him!]

1. You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One Cheez-it. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.

2. Is 1 AM too late or too early to make bacon?

3. No stitches, just platelets and will-power.

4. You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion.

5. I don't know if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. Either way, it's purring.

6. text her!

It's 7am here in Shanghai, so I feel like that's an appropriate bacon time.

I can't believe I didn't consider time zones.
This means there is no wrong time to make bacon.

Exactly. It's never a bad time for a little lacquered pork belly over rice, if you ask me.

Now I want pork belly. I think that will have to be dinner.

Pork belly is good any time of day.

[ But then, some people (Kenan) probably think Baixi eats a little too much pork belly. ]

True. But it might be a little much for right now if I'm already making bacon.

That's true. Best saved for later, then.

What are you eating with the bacon? Or is it just bacon?

1. I think I'm high? I don't exactly know what it's like, but...yeah. High.

2. I tried to have just one dance party and it all went to hell. Never doing that again.

3. The nice nurse in the ER said I'm the most cheerful patient he's had all day.

4. I left my heels at your place. You can throw them in the trash.

5. I had a dream that you were mad at me for eating the last slice of pizza, so I think I'm just going to order us one to be on the safe side.

if you're lucky sweetheart you'll feel like everything couldn't be better

and have a hankering for something to eat

Everything is already amazing, I don't see how it could be better.

Like a big bowl of ice cream?

add a couple slices of fresh apple pie and that sounds better to me

don't you think?

I've had apple pie before, but never with ice cream.

It sounds delicious, I completely agree.

you're missing out darling

that or some warm brownies with some chocolate syrup

working up an appetite just thinking about it

[If he could even have those things now they probably wouldn't taste the same with the whole ghoul thing... oh well.]

a. Messing with me means you better put on a jacket cause it's gonna be cold on the floor.

b. And give me one good reason why I ought to wear this dress you picked out for me tonight.

c. Now what in tranation was that? I heard a crash.

d. Ya busy? Come have a drink with me.

e. Sugar, you're about as intimidating as a butterfly. You gonna have to try harder to get me to carry you to the bar.

f. [ text her ]

Don't mind that ma belle, just taking care of a small pest that tried sneaking in downstairs.

All that racket for a lil critter? Don't tell me you're gonna climb a tree and tell a lie.

Maybe not that petit, and certainly persistent. Made it through a half dozen men before our little trick knocked him off balance.

And where is he now?

Depends on who you ask. Seems the boys grabbed de wrong bags so we had to use more than one.

Because it's designer and would look nice on you.

Does showin a lotta leg part of the designer getup?

Yes.
Is that an issue? You have good legs and there's no shame in showing them off.

And when a gal show them off, that's when fellas get the urge to touch. But believe me, honey, a guy will wind up in a bed they don't wanna be in.

If men are just randomly reaching out to touch your legs then you're obviously going to the wrong sort of parties.

Nah, that's just New York, Honey. You can go to a shingig that's been waxed and spit-shined all over creation and ya still find one that don't know how to keep their hands to themselves.

Well if you are on my arm for an evening I can promise you no one will even think about touching you.

Well, ain't ya a peach? I guess with you, it'll mean I'll let em off easy and with their teeth.

Edited 2024-04-26 20:29 (UTC)

You're welcome to indulge in a little brawling if you so desire, I do enjoy watching a woman beat down deserving types.

Now youre just tryin to sweet talk me into staying out all night.

Perhaps a little.
Would that be so bad though?

Maybe. Im still workin on sum things and Im not too lively for an all nighter.

That's fine, the length of the evening is entirely in your hands.

Thanks. You're a good guy.

Well that's up for debate but you're welcome.
Shall I send a car for you around 7pm?

No need to make a fuss over that, I got my own.

All right, I'll meet you outside the gala at 7:30 then.

Sorry Miss Rogue!
It was just me, it was an accident I swear!

An accident, huh? Sounds like a loud one.

Yeaaah...my telekinesis was making stuff in my room float while I was asleep.

Not really my department to help, but I bet Jean can lend a hand if ya sit a spell with her.

Yeah we're going to have a session tomorrow, it was supposed to be today but she postponed it because she was feeling overwhelmed.
Well...okay she didn't say that, she just said tomorrow would work better but I could feel that she was stressed out.

That poor gals been through a lot lately. We all have.

Yeah I know, I can feel it coming off of all of you.
Kind of makes me wonder why you'd even offer to take me in if you're all in such a bad headspace.

Cuz we're more than just a school, we're family. And family stick together.

Yeah but you're not my family.
My family was my Mom and she's dead thanks to the FOH.

Well, sometimes family is more than blood related. But we'll still be here for ya.

That's really nice of you to say Miss Rogue and I don't want to sound ungrateful but I'm not going to get my hopes up.
The last three foster families said the same thing and then ditched me when things got rough.

oh nothing! it was just uh a thing
nothing to worry about

It's from your closet.

Other than besides it being from my closet. Not everything in there is going out worthy.

one. fuck you guys, i'm tryna nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in PEACE
two. i was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore
three. the bad thing about being great at twerking is that i'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when i'm drunk and in public
four. yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you werent a bad person LOLLL
five. we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
six. answer my fuckin text you professional douchebag
[misc.] or text him. au/misfires friendly.

eugh
fine. what do you want

wdym eugh
aint gonna tell you shit with that tone

i answered didn't i
now tell me or fuck off

god i hate you so fucking much sometimes
anyway

you still mega homo for space?
legit question

lol
good.

ultra mega
.. why ..

fuck you

ok cool check it
so sometimes ken and i eat edibles and go to the planetarium
its hella wicked
we were supposed to go and i already got tickets
but that whoreass BITCH is BAILING ON HIS BRO to suffocate in some titties or whatever

WASTING MONEY IS A CRIME IN THIS HOUSE CRAIGORY
you want em? i want someth in return ofc but
you get first choice bein the number one asstronaut

wuts the running tally now
titties: 39473673
you: 6 ?

( heh. asstronaut. that's pretty good. still... )
we're not making an OF.

howbout i flip u sum hi-chews
n an eighth of shrooms

sumn like that
up the titty meter a bit

LMAO PLS i wasnt even gonna ASK

you know i was gonna demand some've that space ice cream they sell in the gift shop
replace the hi-chews with that
and gimme the shrooms and we hella gucci baby

oof. no theeenks
that's way too many titties

they had freeze-dried ice cream sandwiches last time we were there
so wuts the catch??

boyy u dummy thicc too~
the clap of them cheeks gonna alert the beeeeeeeeeeeeheheheheheheees
🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

idr sending that to you
now i regret

NO RAGRETS U FCKN PUSSY ASS BIIIIIH
frfrfr tho 🥵🥵💀
baby got bbbbback

u kno smth??
we wouldnt havta spend a single red CENT on dranks @ a geybar~*~
not a penny dude
not a dime

ONE OF US GOTTA HAVE EM
it falls on ME
stfu i swear to goddddddd

yeah
but
are the risks of some dude tryna stick his tongue down your throat worth it
........I MEAN your slutty ass'd be down i bet

tehehehe~
aw im just teasin <33

YES
absofuckinglutely
the musics way better too dude i keep tryna tell u guys

you still have the key right
RIGHT?

what key

THE key
the one you used to only unlock ONE of the cuffs

:(

[ oh.

.......well. ]

uh
that key

so
dont be mad

Edited 2024-04-27 20:37 (UTC)

DUDE
WHAT
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE KEY?!?!?!

1. You need to stop spanking me on the ass in public. Now everyone thinks they can do it.

2. I wasn't violent, I threatened violence. There's a difference.

3. I appreciate you not letting me shave my head to prove I'm better at it than my brother. I have nothing to prove to him.

4. Hello, why am I in your bed?

5. I don't make weapons, I make dreams come true.

1. If that guy asks you about me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behavior consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up.
2. So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
3. Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
4. be right there i have to get my cape
5. The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
6. [ text her! misfires/assumed cr welcome! ]

[ info & permissions! ]

My sincere apologies for that.

For my personal edification, "another line" of work, or of some designer drug?

Not your fault.

Pretty sure he meant cocaine, but I don't know what they do and don't call lines nowadays. Really hope it was just cocaine.

Still, in future I will vet the drivers I deal with more thoroughly. And I will put in a call to the company to urge them to behave... professionally.

I really can't keep up with all of the psychedelic "slang". There are thirty three terms for cocaine on the Dept of Behavioral Healthcare page alone.

In either case it is abjectly rude. You don't look like a drug user, even if you are... unconventional. The drug users of Los Angeles wear business suits.

He's a taxi driver, not a limo guy or something. Might've been unprofessional, but he dropped me off at the right spot and didn't overcharge for the trip.

...you googled it? You can google it? They just put that out there? I'm gonna google so many drugs now.

Ha ha, very funny. Maybe he figured I was because you were with me.

I won't demand to have him fired. I'm not a bounder.

I imagine it's for the benefit of the parents of wayward teenagers, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to know for the sake of the Anarch ghouls either.

It's certainly possible. I must have one of those dishonest faces. Are you feeling better tonight, incidentally?

Well, that's good, then. I'm sure he can manage a light reprimand for the Enya blasting, at least.

As a former wayward teenager, I'm interested in seeing all the silly shit they call things thinking the cops don't know. Half the time you call it something dumb just to make the narcs look as stupid as possible.

Don't know about dishonest, but I do like it. And yeah, I am.

You give me a great deal of credit usually. More than most Kindred whose human life was obviously spent ... how to phrase it... demanding tenacity and precise financial acumen. But you shouldn't worry about offending me, if you revert to treating me like someone who could do harm; I have power, I can do harm. I want you to speak your mind.

Oh, is that the game. I feel fortunate I don't need expertise, but I'll know where to come if the need arises.

Thank you, Birdie. [ Pretty deliberate nickname use there. ]

You can just say 'poor.' If I'm allowed to call you out, then you're allowed to speak plainly, at least with me. Promise I won't take offense to it, with all that credit I keep giving you.

Don't worry, I'm happy to answer all your drug questions, though I'm less informed on the newer stuff.

You're welcome. Starting to think I should compliment you more often.

It's not quite on the level of having measures in place to avoid any costs, but I'll grant that's better planning than most.

He said he likes being aware of his philanthropic investments.

I'd say it's rare those funds actually get diverted somewhere useful, but it's a decent line, regardless. Did the hit upon person deserve it?

Oh absolutely he did. Really was a public service, if you think about it. And a lot faster than waiting for a cop to come and get him out.

Not waiting for the police is usually the right option. Dare I ask what happened?

Guess he'd been drunk before he got to the bar and was taking other people's drinks after he was refused service. On top of being a general nuisance to everyone there.

Worth being dispensed with then, yeah. Neither staff nor customers should have to deal with a disruption.

Exactly. Figure that's why it was worth the investment. He also got free drinks from everyone that saw, so he's already seeing returns.

There are a number of people who enjoy being paid in liquor. Though the reputation piece would be more meaningful in the long run.

True enough. He's gonna be lord of the bar flies for at least a month.

It sounds like you have a song title already.

Fuck, you're right. Do you think he's gonna ask for royalties if he hears it?

Perhaps he'll call his lawyer to see about his options first.

Very likely, yeah. Or I could just wait to sing it after he dies so he'll never know.

Might as well reap the benefits of longevity and play the long game.

[tl,dr: detective whose significant other/co-worker was a dirty cop and now she's out for revenge -- bringing her back after a super-long rp break, so appreciate literally anyone who wants to hang out with her. misfires and/or assumed cr are also cool.]

001) Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight.

002) His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.

003) On a scale of one to America, how free are you this weekend?

004) Text Grace -- open to assumed CR / misfires / whatever else!

Puerto Rico.
I have a ton of paperwork to deal with.

[🥁]

That sounds absolutely miserable.

I don't know. I kind of like wrapping up all the loose ends of a case and putting everything in folders.

[Nerd alert.]

Hope you have other dorky friends to take my place for your big weekend plans.

Not that big. Going to my boss’s place for dinner.

I see how it is. You just need a partner to run interference

Should've led with that. I might be able to fend off Bureau admin long enough to play hero

Totally up to you. The barbecue's good, it's just awkward that he wants to hang out.

Awkward like stilted professional smalltalk awkward or awkward like Oh no my boss is trying to be my actual friend outside of work awkward?

Edited 2024-04-27 02:37 (UTC)

Mostly Column A, inching toward Column B. I mean it's not a bad thing that he cares. I just don't know how to handle it.

a] In the words of your poets, "run your mouth, but I'm on your lips."

b] Update: you're running for mayor of Toronto and ahead in the polls. Don't fuck it up xxx

c] He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me so it's kinda perfect.

d] I'm entirely certain she's the reason tarot cards and petty crimes get me hot under the collar.

e] [text him! whatever corner of the multiverse etc etc]

Are you?

In the metaphorical sense. Not the fun sense.

Could be in the fun sense.

What, just like that?

We've been teasing around it for long enough, haven't we?

Time for a different sort of teasing, then xxx

Is it then?

It's in my nature.

But I think you'll enjoy it.

I have a tendency to like most elements of your nature.

Perhaps we can add a few more elements to the list.

It is worth further investigation.

When can I see you?

At the very real risk of sounding eager, tonight?

I was maybe hoping you'd be eager.

Perhaps a bit xxx

Can you make it here?

I can. No one notices when I leave, the benefits of a huge family.

Not like they tend to when you're one of two.

[especially when you're the problem child of two, but that's neither here nor there]

I'll extract myself, then.

I'll see you shortly.

[It's easy enough for her to sneak out and to take the bifrost to Asgard to meet up with Loki.]

Pinky promise?

Of course.

[a few moments later.]

You in your rooms?

Not yet, but let yourself in.

I'll be trying on all your clothes when you arrive.

There's a lavender robe in the closet that would like divine on you xxx

That sounds suspicious, like you're up to mischief.

When have I ever been?

I do think it would suit you, though.

The god of mischief? When have you been up to something?

[She sends a selfie of her sprawled out on his bed.]

[the lag of someone who smiled and then had to be very petty with their brother to make up for it]

Shockingly rarely.

Don't start without me xxx

Think that depends on how long you take to get here.

Terribly eager, darling?

I did come all the way to another realm for you.

You did.

[which, tbh, is incredibly attractive of her]

So what's a few more minutes?

Fair.

[doesn't mean she isn't going to offer a little teasing. Sending a mirror photo of her wearing one of his shirts and seemingly little else.]

Now who's up to a bit of mischief?

But do you appreciate the effort?

Of course I do.

[Where did he appear from? Who knows, but he's here now, perched idly on the edge of the bed.]

I appreciate all sorts of things about you.

[She only jumps a little, despite ages of seeing Loki's
magic]

A little warning would be nice.

[She's still wearing his shirt and she quickly shifts to sit next to him.]

[His laugh is cheerful as ever, but perhaps just a tiny bit breathless as he reaches to tug her into his lap instead.]

But very much wouldn't be my style, yes?

[She drapes her arms around him once she's in his lap. Stella has wondered what this would be like a thousand times over.]

I think you like making jump every time.

[Loki loves illusions, but this? Much better than just imagining.]

Well. Perhaps just a bit.

[And perhaps he wants to see if she jumps when he kisses her neck. He'd like that a bit as well.]

[It's not a jump as much as a surprised little sigh. She is very glad she was able to come over.]

Hello.

[He'll take it. He also won't move his lips off her skin when replying.]

Hello?

[She runs her fingers through his hair.]

Have you imagined this as much as I have?

Depends.

[Hard not to purr when his hair's being tugged, even gently, so he doesn't bother to try.]

How often have you imagined this?

[ooc- continued here if you'd like]

Got a thing for the strange and unusual?

Is that so terribly strange?

Certainly not. It definitely has its appeal. Mystique.

And who doesn't like to be spooky?

I've learned it's a turnon for many humans, actually.

Do they?

[ffs will they stop rubbing off on him like this]

That's a bit disappointing.

1. She spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it".
2. She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
3. Reasons why I love plants more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
4. He obviously doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered.
5. text her

obviously
im already dead and i know that. are you gonna kill him?

that depends if he's capable of keeping his trap shut or not.
which, of course, he is not. i see it as a mixed blessing.

like... if he gets himself killed, one less asshole in the wrold. but here you are havbing to go out of your way to do the killing? that kind of mix?

1. I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl.
2. There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
3. What the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
4. I wish I could understand how you function in society.
5. text her

Most days I wish I could too.

1; I really need him to stop saying people are "spunky" and "full of spunk".

2; Don't freak out about all the blood. It's mine.

3; Got told to mind my language after being hooked. And they say nothing new ever happens in the fog.

4;When I die use my limbs as weapons and kill the killer.

5; [ text him! ]

that doesn't work.

[ evan this wasn't FOR YOU he's not TALKING TO YOU RIGHT NOW ]

Maybe not when you do it.

[ entity says kiss and make up plz ]

never seen it work unless you get the shoulder out proper.

[ no! he's mad and evan's bad at everything!! ]

I reckon they could do it.

[ evan, meanwhile, almost totally oblivious ... ]

really. them.

You really think I'm the only one who could kill one of you lot?

[ david's arrogant, sure, but he's also met chris redfield. ]

i think none of them could pull off what you did no matter how much they think they can.

[ pauses, while he reconsiders, because he's also met chris redfield. ]

or at least get the arm out right.

[ hold up ]

That was almost a compliment.

no it wasn't.

You don't think any of them could do what I did.
So you think I'm better than them.

i think you're the only one with the balls enough to try it at all.

[ and the physical strength and knowledge of how to dislocate a bone deliberately, but he's not going to clarify that. ]

You'd be surprised.

doubt it.

still wasn't a compliment.

Didn't say it was.
I said it was almost one.

ain't that either. just an observation.

[ it'd be easy to drag this out and keep annoying evan but honestly? david's really not that interested in talking to him that much. crazy. ]

Sure, fine. Got it.

[ that was too easy. ]

since when do you shut up that fast?

I'm not really interested in having it out over this

too petty even for you, huh.

[ #stilloblivious ]

Nah. It's not that.
All told, Chuck, I'm not real keen to talk to you in general.

[ it's serious when david "hi i have a random question" king says he doesn't want to talk to you. ]

normally you can't back off. why the change?

[ holy shit? holy shit ]

Are you serious?

[ of course he's serious, he's - wait. ]

this still about the rope?

Yeah, it's "still about the rope".

didn't realize you were gonna hold this kind of grudge over it.

As if you would ever let it go if you were me.

thought you'd get into it.

[ legitimately his thought process. also, he thought david did, so now he's even more uncertain than he was at the time. ]

Because I was so happy about it last time that you decided to turn it up a notch.

[ famously a man who loves being pinned and restrained, clearly. ]

didn't seem any more pissed off than usual before.

should have said something.

Or you should've asked.

never heard a complaint from you before that.

[ is he going crazy? he feels like he's going crazy. ]

You know what? You're right. I should've known better than to expect anything other than some fucked up powerplay from you. Completely on me for not saying anything.

what the fuck are you talking about?

half you assholes won't even admit you want to fuck until i catch you. you're always trying to beat my shit in anyway. didn't think it'd piss you off this much.

[ which isn't completely true, but god forbid he admit to anything. ]

This isn't about half us assholes though, is it? It's about me. And I've been so honest with you I thought you weren't even fucking interested for ages because you turned me down so much.

I know you think I'm stupid, but give me a little credit and don't act like I'm fucking oblivious too.

[ you are stupid is the first thing he thinks, but in a bright moment of critical thinking and forethought, he doesn't type it. instinct isn't always keynote to survival.

evan watches the words, struggling with his own ego to figure out how to respond. ]

fine. if it's that bad for you it ain't gonna happen again. christ.

I think I'm done with this actually.
I'm too fucking tired.

[ evan debates another response, then drops it. whatever david wants to do is on him.

he also ignores the uncertainty and frustration still burning in the back of his mind. because accepting that any of this might be on him is still almost too much for him to grasp. ]

1. the bees like the sound of the engine. i wouldn't move your car right now.
2. he told me that i have a cute "deer in the headlights look", and that it's what made showing his penis to me for the first time so disconcerting.
3. dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
4. it's not ok to announce to a group of people that a man put his finger in your butt last night. i understand now.
5. i just ate a handful of salt

discgusting!
probably you want to drink some water to balance that out my guy

it's not so bad. sodium is necessary for the normal functioning of most species, after all.

tgat may be true but i dont think youre supposedd to eat it straight and all at once like that
and seriously, it will dehydrate you which isnt good for you

oh, it's okay. i'm not the right species for that.

uh huh whatever you say starseed

[The Kid is doubting.]

not an entirely inaccurate descriptor. though heaven doesn't technically have a physical location

well hows that for a coincidance? hi im unwillingly on the opposite team!

you're a demon?

not so far as i know!
but hell grabbed my soul when i died as a kid and gave me demon summoning powers! except they didtn explain it like that and said i was summmoning the dead. it is a very long story. kind of wish i didnt have to ever go back to hell but things are as they are

oh

but then, we're not really on opposite sides, are we? besides, i have some friends who are demons.

heaven has let me know im not welcome thouhg

1. I just accidentally texted the wrong guy for a dick pic and still got one…
2. Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
3. If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I could graduate so wealthy that I’d never need to work.
4. I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law

Um

Do I even want to know???

What is with my butterfingers today!!

Sorry but also not sorry because if you do want to know, this story comes with some pretty hot gossip

First

Is it anyone on the team?

_Please_ say no

[He needs to be able to look them in the eye tomorrow!]

No!!!

If it wasn't you, that'd leave Asahi (would have a heart attack) or an underclassman, and then I'd be handing in my resignation before you could kick me out for accidentally hitting on a kouhai!!!!

All right! Just making sure!!!!

Go on

Okay but you'd better sit down because this is juicy

Terushima's got more piercings than just his tongue

Wait

THAT guy?!

The one who kept bothering Shimizu?!!

I just want to remind you here that he was a wrong number on my part

But yeah, that guy

I know, I know!

You have better taste!

Why would anyone WANT piercings _there_?!

[It's funny because... well, it's not really funny at all, but Suga does smirk.]

I appreciate that vote of confidence hahaha

Oh god don't ask me, I don't wanna think about anything to do with it
Especially getting it done... AUGH makes my skin crawl

Wanna see it

NO!!!

It already feels like _I_ got hit in the crotch!

I'm sorry for causing you crotch pain :'(

Yeah I'm gonna delete the pic so I'll never give in to morbid curiosity and look again
I still haven't figured out what to say, though
Is there any polite way to say "I asked for that by accident and looking at it makes me feel a bit queasy so please never send one again?"

It's okay
I'll recover! :P

And sorry -
I don't know the ethics of a Dick Pic rejection?
Deleting it's a good start

How dare he be so darn cute...]

Have you never gotten one before??
I know you wouldn't be interested but I'm surprised that's stopped people from shooting their shot
Or should I say spiking their...
No, that's not gonna work

Please

Stop! XD

None
I've dodged that so far XP

But it's fine if you like them!

[He is going to be a Supportive Bestie, even if he doesn't quite get it?]

Well good! I won’t have anyone disrespecting my captain that way

Oh wow speaking of disrespect, I told Terushima it was a wrong number
He just said and I quote:
“That’s alright! Just pass it on to Megane-chan for me ok? 😉😉”

Are we killing him?

I am not condoning murder

BUT

DEFINITELY tell him to BACK OFF

[Yikes. That many capital letters - Daichi's pissed.]

Am I an accessory to murder if I tell Tanaka and Noya

Edited 2024-04-27 19:14 (UTC)

I know can't stop you but maybe don't put those things in writing?

Besides

We're never playing them again

We made sure of THAT >:)

You're actually so wise Daichi
I'll keep my nose out of this other than warning him myself

And blocking his number

[And then, what probably seems like a random thought:]

Girls are so much less aggressive huh?
Have you ever gotten anything weird from a girl? Like, way beyond a confession?

Nope

No one's interested in me like THAT though

[How can someone be both So Aware and SO OBLIVIOUS...]

Why, have you?!

[Daichi.

Sir.

You brilliant, beautiful idiot.]

No, just the regular letters for me!!
I was just curious
We don't really talk about dating and crushes and things like that much

[There used to be a reason for Suga to keep quiet, but now that Daichi knows and has no problem with his sexuality... he's curious, he has to admit, and this was an awkward but effective way into the topic.]

Well

I noticed you didn't really talk about girls, much, and I didn't want to pressure you

Besides Shimizu!

[And EVERYONE has a crush on her. It is a Universal Force.]

You’re a good friend, Daichi
You can still talk to me about who you like, though! It’s not really different enough to be weird to me or anything

Thanks

You are too

If there's someone, you'll be first to know. Things have just been so busy with the team.

[Sounds like it’s time to fall in love with someone on the team…]

Haha well, we need a few people who aren’t either girl/boy crazy or volleyball crazy to see the big picture for us!

[Wouldn't THAT be convenient...]

I do my best

Just

Please don't start yelling about boys as loudly as Tanaka and Nora yell about girls? Two is enough!

Awwwwwww! You mean I can't start squealing along with Oikawa's fangirls, or gush about Ushiwaka to whoever will listen like his setter does??

I don't get to have ANY fun :'(

Suga

Please

[Why can he imagine the exact look on Daichi's face right now..]

Okay okay!! No squealing and fanboying, I promise!

I appreciate it

So

Oikawa and Ushijima are your types?

No no no!! Noooo not even a little bit
I was just coming up with people that get followed around by boy-crazy types, y'know!

[Boy-crazy types attached to volleyball, according to Suga - Oikawa's fangirls and Shirabu Kenjiro.]

There's not a face in the world that would be cute or handsome enough to make up for their personalities

That's a relief!

I'd support you no matter what

But their personalities are trash and I'd hate to fight them

Are you already planning to defend my honor...?

[He only jokes because that made him swoon a little.]

Honestly, i think Iwaizumi's a lot better looking than Oikawa
And more appealing in general, for that matter

[Daichi chuckles. He was not expecting this conversation, but appreciates being appreciated. Even with the teasing.]

You're my best friend

I'm not letting jerks break your heart!

Iwaizumi's a really strong player - He worked hard to hold Seijoh together.

[That's a nice way to meet him in the middle, actually. Show respect in a way that's applicable to him.]

Hm, maybe that's my type... handsome, strong, and works hard to support the people around them

Preferably with biceps like tree trunks >:)

[Too subtle?]

All right

If I see that kind of guy, I'll send him your way!

[Whoooooosh right over his head.]

[Single tear]

But they have to know how to have fun too, or at least have a sense of humour
And no scaredy cats like Asahi!!

Poor Asahi!

Cats huh

What about Kuroo?

I don't know if he's into guys but he hits most of those

[So helpful and so NOT.]

Edited 2024-04-30 19:50 (UTC)

Off-limits for bro code reasons, I know someone else who likes him
Also too skinny

[Also more likely to be into Daichi considering their interactions.]

Got it

Don't know if I need you two hellions dating anyway!

HAHAHAHAHAH YOU'RE SO RIGHT
You wouldn't be able to sleep at night!!!!

Before you say it, Bokuto's also out because I don't want to babysit my boyfriend
God bless Akaashi, I could not stand in his shoes

[Why is Daichi trying to matchmake for Suga so darn cute...]

[It just seems like it would be harder to date, with a smaller pool of people. Too bad. Suga's a considerate, loyal, absolute pain in the ass who deserves a good partner.]

Wait ARE Akaashi and Bokuto going out?!?????

HA I wouldn't be surprised
But not that I know of... I just assume he probably needs babysitting from everyone in his life

I know what you mean

I'm glad his team supports him!

Um

Not to gossip
But I think Bokuto might be into someone else?

Oh don't get me wrong, I'd back him up on the court too, he's insanely talented!
But personal life... not so much

Waaaaaait what do you know, Daichi???

[Not Suga collecting info for your other character...]

[Plays "Pink Panther" theme.]

Nothing for sure!

He just always seems excited to see Tsukishima. REALLY excited. Like, he somehow gets LOUDER, if that's possible.

I could be imagining?

No I noticed that too...
But if it was even enough for YOU to think it could be a crush, that's interesting!

Oh shut up. I notice things!

Tsukishima JUST started getting along with the team - I don't want other players dragging him back into bad moods.

I've got my eye on him, Daichi, don't worry. He and Kageyama are my special cases!

And of course you're very observant of a lot of things, but romantic interest doesn't even make the bottom of the list hahaha

[That is reassuring. Suga's stability (for Kageyama) and teasing (for Tsukishima) are invaluable.

Now then - ]

Oh there's a LIST, huh?

Severity of damage to your own physical form is the actual bottom of the list

EXCUSE me?????????!!!!!!

Okay let's go back to the first one
Can I ask you a totally hypothetical question?

Rude

First one of what?

Things you're not observant about O:)

If, hypothetically, I told you that I knew of someone who had a romantic interest in you, who would be your first guess?

-_-

"Hypothetically"

Sure

Guy or a girl?

I didn't say 20 questions I said FIRST GUESS!!

But hypothetically there's at least one of each so...

This is sounding a LOT LESS hypothetical!

Don't think, just say the first person that comes to mind!

[How did they get here??????!? ARE there people?! Okay, maybe - ]

Yachi and Kinoshita?

Please tell me I'm wrong I am PANICKING!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OH MY GOD YOU REALLY ARE CRUSHBLIND

And really really really really wrong

I TOLD YOU

I PANICKED

Suga

ARE there people because now I feel AWFUL

Two that I know of

[Daichi feels like his heart's dropped out of his body and burrowed several kilometers underground.]

Oh geeze

Are you going to put me out of my misery or make me keep guessing???!!!!

[If he's totally honest with himself, Suga's got no idea what he's doing. He didn't know when he started this. Broaching the topic has been on his mind since his discussion with Kita, but the urge to backpedal is very strong now that he's coming close to the point of confession.

But... it'll be hurtful to Daichi if he does...]

Michimiya-chan almost faints every time you say more to her than a passing hello
That one's on you for never noticing

WHAT????!!!!!

But she's always been like that, right?!

[After another five seconds - ]

OH

Suga can we meet in the park or something I can't process this on the phone

((not anymore!!))

Edited 2024-05-01 13:08 (UTC)

I've got bad news for you, buddy: you just texted that wrong guy a second time ;)

Are you
Serious…

Ok I am too sloppy drunk and too horny to be bothering someone so generous right now
But ftr Your penis is beautiful sir
Congratulations

hahahaha

you're really cute, yknow that?
thanks for the compliment 😘

i wouldn't mind if you let me see yours in return
unless that guy you meant to text would get mad at you

Oh no no haha, it’s not an exclusive dick pic thing
I can do that just a sec

Uh maybe a dumb question but do you want a face pic too?
Since I don’t think we know each other
Or is the dick good enough

sweet
don't wanna be a homewrecker

yeah, if you wanna share <3
i'll send one too

[ yuki doesn't wait for a response before sending over a photo of his face, grinning right at the lens with a mischievous wink. ]

Oh……

You’re just beautiful in general
Hello

[The first picture of Suga reveals his pale, slender body from upper thighs to belly button, muscle tone lightly etched on his skin and a sprinkling of greyish blond body hair between his legs. His hard cock is on the small side of average, flushed a delicate pink that gives way to deeper red at the head.

The second, as promised, shows his grinning and also lightly flushed face.]

[ well, shit. this kid's gorgeous. yuki sends a silent prayer to the dick pic gods before taking a closer look at the photos.

from the muscles, it looks like he works out at least a little; maybe he plays some kind of sport? ]

you're pretty cute yourself ;)
might have to save these for later

so what's got you all worked up?
you said you were drunk
that have something to do with it?

[ then, because he can't help wanting to show off, he sends another photo - this one of his body. he's shirtless, his toned, lanky body not quite as muscular as suga's but definitely still worth looking at. his jeans are unzipped and his cock's standing straight up, on the bigger side but not overly so. he's got one hand splayed out over his abs and, at the upper edge of the frame, his smirk is just visible. ]

[Suga might not use such exaggerated descriptions if he was sober, but this guy is very, very easy on the eyes. He’s got the build of a middle blocker, Suga thinks, then laughs at himself for bringing everything right back to volleyball.]

Yeah I could look at you for a long, long time without getting bored
At least the night’s not a total loss

Oh it’s my own stupid fault but the unavoidable kind of mistake
Drinking with someone I can juuuuust manage not to think about in ways I shouldn’t when my inhibitions are where they should be
You know what I mean?

glad to hear it
i'd hate to bore you
plus I get to have a good time, so - thanks for accidentally texting me :p

ahhhhhhhh
yeah i've been there
honestly? you should probably just sleep with 'em
as long as they're not otherwise attached

[ leave it to yuki - who's at a respectable level of drunkenness himself - to turn sexting into a relationship advice column. ]

Edited (html rip) 2024-04-27 21:22 (UTC)

Not attached but not gay either

Anyway!! No reason to keep sulking about that when I just made a new friend
What do you like in a guy, new friend?

[ hmmm? it feels like there's something more there, but yuki's not about to pry. this isn't serious enough for that. he still feels for the guy, though, so he resolves to be the best possible distraction from whatever unrequited crush he's got going on. ]

so we're friends now huh? sounds good to me. it's always nice to have a pretty face on speed dial~

hmmm idk
i haven't thought about it much lately
this might surprise you but i sort of sleep around a lot
usually i'm not too picky

You mean you didn’t send me a dick pic despite having no idea who I was because I’m SPECIAL??
I don’t know if I can recover from that 😂

Okay, new question
What do you most like to do with a guy?

[This… isn’t so much a regular thing for Sugawara. He’s got one fellow somewhat-closeted athlete he messes around with - the dick pic’s intended recipient - and that’s about it. Some latent wild streak in him just seems to have been fed by the third years’ messy celebration of a landmark winning game and it’s in charge now, for better or worse.]

Edited 2024-04-27 21:39 (UTC)

lolll
i like you already
i mean, you were off to a good start with the pics, but this helps too

[ wild and messy? yuki's the perfect guy for this kind of thing. ]

ohhh good question
there are a lotta things i like

i mean. fucking is probably up there
but that's a boring answer

how kinky do you want me to get?

[ from his looks alone, yuki's guessing this guy is on the younger - and therefore less experienced - side. no need to start off strong if that's just gonna scare him away. ]

Hey I'm just realistic!!
We don't know each other
But we're both young and good looking and deserve to get off!

How about you tell me more about how you like to do it?
Do you give or receive? What kind of position?

[Yeah, the curiosity is probably pretty telling about Suga's experience level as well. He's excited and wants to talk dirty but he's also a sponge for any information someone can give him about being with a man.]

you're a smart guy 😘
wouldn't mind meeting you in person sometime

i play for both teams
but mostly i'm a top.
the kind of guys who wanna get with me tend to be more on the submissive side
and i'm pretty tall, so that helps too

position usually depends on how cute their face is

[ and whether or not they look like a certain redhead. ]

a lot of the time i end up taking 'em from behind cause they like it that way
standing, kneeling, depends where we are and how much room there is

what about you? any preferences?

[ the curiosity is cute. yuki's got plenty of stories to tell, and it's nice to have an audience that won't judge him for having sex so often and with so many different people. ]

[In person...

Later. Worry about that later. Suga's mind is already racing, overflowing with images painted by Yuki's words - hands on the wall, forearms on the bed, cheek pressed against a counter or table, the options are dizzying. And he's more turned on than ever.]

How tall?

I think if I was with you
I'd want to ride you
You'd look good all laid out under me like that and I'd get to set the pace
What do you think, am I cute enough for that?

i think like, 5’10 or something? haven’t measured in a while

[ the scenario suga paints is a nice one, and yuki squeezes himself a little as he pictures it. ]

that’s really hot
from the pics you sent you’re definitely cute enough
bet i could fit both my hands around your waist and just hold you there while i fuck up into you

but we can go at your pace first.
might be nice to just lay back and stare up at that pretty face of yours while you’re moaning from how good my cock feels

[Whoa. That's far more detail than Suga's ever gotten from his usual sexting partner, and all filled with a pleasantly indulgent, languid energy that gets Suga's pulse racing and his cock throbbing.]

You... have got a real way with words
If you want to hear me, I'll make sure not to hold anything back
Especially when you take over

But don't keep your hands on my waist right from the start, okay?
I want you to touch me everywhere you can reach

[ yuki is a songwriter - he likes being able to paint a picture using words. especially when it’s a sexy picture. ]

you think so?
it helps when I’ve got a great muse inspiring me 😘

bet you sound real good when you’re getting pounded
are you the type who can’t help being loud?
sometimes I gotta work hard to make my partner sing for me

hmmmm
you’re getting a little greedy there
tell me where you want my hands and maybe I’ll oblige you ❤️

[Sing for me... oh, Suga's starting to swoon.

Yuki sounds so smooth and experienced that Suga can't help but dance around the issue of his comparative lack by avoiding specifics. There's nothing wrong with substituting his reaction to a blow job or a cock sliding between his thighs while he's being jerked off, right? Of course not.]

You have no idea hahah
I usually have to bite down on my fist or arm to keep quiet
It's part of enjoying something fully!!
I'll moan myself hoarse for you

Aw can't I be greedy? I was counting on that but fine
My thighs, my stomach, my chest, my back
My ass
My cock
I can show you any of the above if you need convincing

[ the longer this goes on, the more curious yuki gets. suga seems so eager - more than usual, compared to some of the other guys yuki’s been with - and it makes him wonder. ]

yeah?
I’m gonna take that as a promise then
I’ll make sure you can’t talk properly the next day
after all, no one deserves to hear your voice more than the person making you feel so good you scream

Oh, you can be as greedy as your little heart desires
but I might just have to make you earn the things you want so bad, that’s all

so, for your first payment, you gotta tell me something
are you a virgin?

[... this is okay. It's okay. He's not talking like he'll shut this down if Suga's honest. It's fine. It's okay.]

I've never had someone inside me
It's always too rushed or spontaneous to go that far... safely, you know?

[Boy, someone's suddenly much less chatty.]

[ ah. so it’s exactly as yuki suspected. ]

yeah, I get it
took me a while to do it too
my boyfriend -

[ he stops. rereads those last couple of words. deletes them, before sending an edited version: ]

the guy I was with at the time, he was really shy and quiet
so i was extra careful
cause i didn’t know whether he’d tell me if i was hurting him

the first time I took it from someone else I was sore for like two weeks lol

[ yeah… that’s a story for another time. or, preferably, never. ]

so it’s cool. don’t rush into it

you still in school?

[Even though some of the heat has definitely left their conversation, Suga's not too bothered because he finds himself growing interested in the person on the other end of the conversation. Someone who sleeps around and sexts so casually that he'd send a dick pic to a wrong number, but also someone caring enough to show patience with a nervous lover. Someone who seems to care about Suga's comfort level as well despite his being a total stranger.]

Yeah, I graduate this year
I'm on the volleyball team and the guy I mess around with is on a rival team in the city so we don't get much time together
To be honest, I don't even really like him much

[He swallows, a bit of the boozy melancholy washing back over him.]

I already like you better and I don't even know your name hahahah

[ it's... kind of nice, backing away from the sex stuff a bit. yuki's been able to piece together an image of suga from all the details he's dropped, and it seems like he's a pretty sweet kid - probably still in the closet, if his only real partner is some dude on a faraway team. that, combined with the thought of him having an unrequited crush on another guy, makes yuki feel softer than he usually does these days.

first, though, at that mention of graduating - ]

oh hey
i'm only like, a couple years older than you
i wonder if we went to the same school? haha

[ that next part makes yuki's lips twist downwards, and he thinks for a long moment before typing out a response. ]

that sucks man
i'm sure there are other guys around you that would want to get with you
you're more than cute enough
plus you play volleyball? that's really cool
i'd bet you have more than a few secret admirers waiting for you to look their way

[ that might not be as helpful as he's hoping, but it's better than nothing, right? ]

oh speaking of
i'm yuki lol
dunno if you wanted it but there's my name

[Okay... this isn't just conversation anymore. This is Yuki turning him down. Somehow, in the process of answering a question that really didn't sound like a dealbreaker at the point of its asking, Suga's taken the discussion from "we should meet up and do this in person sometime" to "hey, there's got to be someone out there for you."

It's not earth-shattering, not even that big of a deal, but it's all Suga can take for one night. His buzz is crashing, his erection's deflating, and he's starting to feel stupid for getting wrapped up in this in the first place.]

Nice to meet you Yuki!
And thanks for all the encouragement, that's really nice of you :D
But it's about time I have a bath and go sleep this off
That's probably what I should've done in the first place haha

Have a good night!

[... unsurprisingly, he doesn't turn off his phone or ringer or even get up and go anywhere. Not for a few minutes, at least.]

[ huh?

...oh. shit. the kid must be panicking. yuki didn't mean to make it look like he was rejecting him, but rereading his messages, it's pretty obvious that's how it must've looked. ]

hey, sorry if that was too much
i'm kinda drunk too so i got a bit sappy

[ he definitely doesn't want to stop, but he also doesn't want to pressure the other boy. ]

if you wanna keep going
we can do that
tonight, or whenever you're feeling it

i don't care that you've never done it btw
sorry if i made it sound like that

[He's not waiting for anything, he's not waiting for anything, he's not waiting for anything - but then the text comes through and Suga nearly drops his phone. Talk about sappy, has he really gotten this worked up over a wrong number?

But Yuki's not just a wrong number anymore. He's got a name, a face, a body, and a personality that keeps getting kinder and warmer with every message. Suga's mind is reeling again. What should he do?]

Ha no I'm the one who's sorry
That must've sounded either rude or insane but I really thought

[- it was what Yuki wanted him to do.]

I don't know what I thought
But you ARE really nice and really good looking and fake it til you make is failing me pretty severely here
So I might as well just admit that I have no idea what I'm doing right now

[ ahhhh shit. yuki's getting in way too deep here. why is he even bothering? this kid's just a wrong number. they can stop here and it won't have meant anything at all.

but something soft inside his chest can't let this go. ]

hey it's cool
you don't gotta worry about it

[ he pauses for a second, thinking. what's the best move here? if suga is as inexperienced as he sounds, then doing this kind of thing with a stranger must be a pretty big deal for him. yuki doesn't want it to be a shitty experience; the kid deserves better than that. ]

hey
this might be too forward
and you can totally say no and I won't mind

how would you feel if I video call you?

Sure
I'd actually like that

[Suga's fingers answer before his brain can even process the full impact of his response. He's messy-haired and red-cheeked and definitely not looking his best, but something in him just can't resist the chance for even greater intimacy in this strange, strange interaction.]

[ as soon as he gets confirmation that it's okay yuki presses the call button, a warm smile settling over his face. he's thinking it might be easier like this, when they can see each other, when the subtext to what they're saying doesn't disappear the way it does over text.

when suga picks up, he'll see yuki's chest and face - nothing scandalous, just a handsome guy with the slightest spark of hunger in his eyes. ]

Hey, cutie.

[Oh, the light in Yuki’s eye and the playfulness in his tone definitely add an element that’s both reassuring and thrilling. Suga smiles, one of his big beaming smiles that could charm the birds from the trees.]

Hi! …Oh, I didn’t even give you my name, did I? I’m Sugawara, but most people call me Suga.

[His voice is light and pleasant even with a hint of drunken slurring at the edges. Were it not for the slightly devilish angle of his eyebrows, he really would be the picture of boyish sweetness that Yuki’s been imagining.]

[ holy hell, that smile - it's blinding in the best of ways, and yuki finds his own grin widening as he listens to the sound of the other boy's voice.

soft. a little feminine, but only insofar as he isn't super masculine. it's a good tonal balance. the hint of drunkenness is cute, as is the flush on his face and the way his hair sits in disarray. a cute face, but with something sharper lingering around the edges.

it might just be yuki's turn to swoon. ]

Suga. [ he sounds it out, testing the feel of it in his mouth. ] Nice to meet you, Suga-kun.

[ that last syllable is accompanied by a cheeky wink. ]

Sorry if I made you uncomfortable before. [ he shrugs apologetically, eyebrows pinching together for a moment. ] I... haven't done this kind of thing with a guy your age in a while, so I was trying not to come on too strong. Guess that backfired, huh?

[Ah, this is exactly the attention Suga's craved. Mashing genitals with someone whose greatest selling point is that he's willing, there's something to be said for that when nothing else is on offer, but being called cutie? Having your name punctuated with a wink? That's the dreamy stuff that makes Suga feel selected, even in a situation that could very literally be called a fluke.

Yuki's charming, he's smooth, and that smoothness will get him everywhere with Suga. He backs up from his phone a bit so that his face doesn't fill the whole frame, revealing more of his chest and the deeply-etched musculature in his shoulders and upper arms - spikers may have the impressive legs and backs, but setters aren't here to lose a flex-off.]

It's okay, really! You were just being considerate, I'm the one who got all in my head about it. [He laughs with a rueful little shake of his head.] I know you said you're not bothered by my age and all that, but I really just want to make sure you know one thing -

[And here, he makes eye contact as direct as he can through a screen:] - I haven't held off on having sex on purpose because I don't want to or I don't feel ready.

[ it's been a long time since yuki did anything serious with someone like this. sure, he'll flirt with the groupies after a show, but he's not a bad enough person to fuck around with kids who are still in school - no matter how much they throw themselves at him.

he knows he's good at this. he has to be; it's half the reason he's even moderately successful. for some reason, though, it doesn't feel like he's lying to suga, or trying to get in his pants. the kid's relative inexperience, along with his hunger for more, keeps tugging at some long-dormant string buried deep inside yuki's chest. ]

Oh yeah?

[ his grin sharpens at the declaration, and for a long moment he simply looks, letting his eyes rove over every inch of exposed skin visible on the screen.

then, his voice dipping an octave, he says: ]

Why don't you tell me more about how you'd want me to fuck you, Suga?

[Just that long look combined with the twist of Yuki's smile is enough to make Suga's cock leap back to full attention - his voice, though, coaxes a hot shudder from Suga's frame that'll be hard for Yuki to miss. He has to swallow a mouthful of saliva before he can respond, and even then his mouth just hangs open for a moment while he gathers his thoughts.

I want to ride you, he said before. Now his mind is wandering elsewhere.]

Bend me in half... [Where Yuki's voice has gotten deeper, Suga's has dropped to a breathy near-whisper that manages to sound just as erotic.] ... knees to ears, I want you on top of me and inside me and all around me...

[This will definitely go much smoother when Suga can just let his mouth run free, without any thoughts having to pass through the brain-to-fingers filter involved in texting.]

[ it feels good to sink back into the warm, sensual headspace they'd been in earlier. knowing that this is probably suga's first time doing this sort of thing with someone so much more experienced is honestly a huge turn-on, and as much as yuki wants to be respectful and make sure it's good for both of them, he can't quite fight off the hunger rising in his gut.

watching suga's expression shift, hearing the change in his tone - it pulls a heated breath from yuki's throat, and he reaches down to curl a hand around himself. it's off-camera, but suga will probably be able to figure out exactly what's happening. ]

Yeah?

[ his grin is still there, eyes connected directly to suga's through the camera. ]

You want me to take care of you, huh? Fill you up all the way with my cock, fuck you into the mattress, make you scream my name?

[ he inhales sharply before adding - ]

I bet you're so tight, babe. You're gonna feel so good when I get inside of you.

[It's better now that they know each other even that little bit more. Any slim chance that Suga might have gotten overwhelmed and balked is completely smoothed out by the kindness Yuki's shown him, the concern for his comfort and readiness, and it really would've been a shame to miss this.

Yuki's able to be so crude without eliciting any shame, it's almost more than Suga can bear. He trembles again, fingers digging into his bare thighs just beneath the camera's view - not yet, not yet, he needs to adjust to this current spike of arousal or he'll go off the second he touches himself.]

I've... fingered myself a few times. [Even that admission doesn't embarrass him in the cocoon of acceptance Yuki's created for them.] But it just makes me want more... I want to be opened up until I'm right at my limit and then even wider... filled up...

[Suga's slowly leaning forward as the words continue to tumble out, as if he's being physically pulled into some kind of trance. He's never, ever felt anything like this before and it's all still just words. Terrifying. Thrilling.]

I want you so much right now I can't stand it...!

[ fuck this kid's cute. he's so obviously desperate for something he can't quite have - it sends yuki right back to high school, when he still hadn't done anything more than stolen a few touches here and there. he wants to give suga everything he's asking for and more.

the way the other boy's words are just tumbling out is sweet, too; it seems as though he hasn't even been able to talk about this with anyone else. if yuki's the one he's chosen to hear him out - even if it's only because of an accidental text - he's going to do his best to make suga feel amazing.

and - who knows? maybe they can meet up at some point. ]

Naughty~ [ he says, singsong, teasing. ] You really want it that bad, huh? I dunno if you could handle it.

[ he shifts, leaning back further, and his cock comes into view at the lower edge of the frame. he's gripping it loosely, showing off the length and girth, watching to see suga's reaction. ]

I'm pretty big, y'know. I might hurt you if I just slide in right away.

[The flush that long since consumed Suga's face spreads to his ears and down his neck, even tingeing his shoulders, when Yuki follows up good-natured teasing with a long look at his cock, this time with the rest of his body in frame to offer some perspective.

God, that really is a beautiful penis. A helpless noise escapes Suga's mouth at the sight and his body gives not just a shiver but a sharp jolt, his own dick twitching against his belly and spilling a drop of precum. As zeroed in as he is on Yuki, it does occur to Suga that he should probably back up a little more as well - that shift might actually allow Yuki to see the slickness at Suga's tip, maybe even the half-moon divots his nails have left in his pale thighs.

Desperate, ravenous... but still aware of his own strengths, even if he's slowly slipping into mindless levels of arousal.]

I trust you to make sure I'm ready first. [Big golden eyes a touch wider, voice softer, head tilted at a sweet angle; when Suga tries, he can look more innocent than the purest of angels.] You won't let me suffer, right? You don't want me screaming in pain...

[ - okay, what the hell? that little noise is just about the most virginal thing yuki's ever heard, but the way suga tilts his head and the descriptive words he starts using make yuki wonder if he really isn't all that innocent after all. he's probably tried real hard to find stuff online since he doesn't have many people to mess around with in person; maybe that's where he picked it up.

or maybe he's just a natural. ]

I'm gonna take such good care of you, [ yuki hears himself say. his focus is zoned in now, eyes scanning up and down the length of suga's body, his flushed cock clearly rock hard and - fuck, is that precome?

yuki swallows hard. they're not far apart in age, but he's older, so he should be the responsible one here. suga's such a natural charmer, though, that it's basically impossible not to devour him whole. ]

Work you open nice and slow with my fingers.

[ he pumps his cock lazily, words spilling from his lips in a slow, steady rhythm. ]

You ever thought about having a tongue back there, Suga? What it would feel like? I bet you'd make the cutest little sounds if I ate you out.

[Natural charm, some research mostly involving trashy doujin - Suga's managed to piece together the act well enough in his mind, but Yuki still brings it to life so much better than he ever could. His low, purring voice coils around Suga and wraps him in heat while the steady movement of his hand commands the attention of Suga's gaze just as completely. Take care of you... work you open nice and slow...

There's nothing else for it now. He has to touch himself, even if it means that he comes instantly. He just can't hold back any longer.

All he does at first is squeeze along with Yuki's rhythm, his shoulders rolling with each heavy breath, and even that's enough to make sweat break out all over his scalp and roll down his forehead and neck. He thinks he could fall into a careful pace that won't bring him to the edge too fast... for about two seconds, until Yuki brings up something that he's literally never thought about a single time in his life, or even heard of until now.

The thing about most doujin authors is that they prefer to keep the sex... pretty. Picturesque. So that particular form of oral sex is brand new to him and it might've seemed off-putting, even disgusting, at any other time, but Yuki's got him so worked up that the mental image causes him to double over with another extremely virginal noise and fight tooth and nail not to come on the spot.]

Ffffffuck... [Being so young and impressionable also means that Suga still lives at home, so he has to force that would-be exclamation down to a hiss that might not even be picked up by the phone's mic. Once he's composed himself, he sits up again and it's written all over his face: Suga's officially too overwhelmed to contribute. He won't be doing anything but holding off his orgasm until the time comes.]

[ it's something else, watching the way suga hangs on to yuki's every word. his body's reaction to those first self-administered touches is telling: he's clearly close already, just from seeing and hearing yuki on the other side of a screen. most people yuki gets with nowadays are just as, if not more, experienced than he is, so he's not used to his partner getting worked up so quick.

it turns him on way, way more than it probably should. ]

Fuck, Suga - [ he exhales, long and low, his voice taking on a huskier edge as his own hand moves faster. ] You really like that idea, huh? Or maybe you just like listening to me tell you all the dirty things I wanna do to you?

[ the fact that suga has to keep quiet just adds fuel to the fire burning in the pit of yuki's stomach. some cruel part of him wants to see if he can break the other boy, make him cry out so loud everyone around him hears - but he also doesn't want this to be the last time they talk, so he pushes that impulse away and focuses, instead, on being the kind of guy suga actually needs. ]

You're close, aren't you? [ he murmurs it, sweeter-sounding than he was a moment ago, his face taking on a sympathetic expression. ] You don't gotta hold back. Let me see how cute you look when you come, babe.

[The only response Suga can offer to Yuki's barrage of questions is a faint whine, but somehow the affirmative still comes through - he loves listening to Yuki paint filthy pictures featuring the two of them, and it's got him so close that even his toes are curled rigidly tight to try and cling onto control. He hasn't even noticed how much Yuki's arousal seems to have escalated because his whole world has shrunk down to the hot coil at the base of his spine pulling tighter, tighter, tighter.

And then Yuki gives him permission to come.

How many full, frantic strokes does it take before he blows? It's all too much of a blur for Suga to remember. Maybe two or three, maybe as many as ten, but the reaction might as well be instantaneous - Yuki says "come" and nothing else matters until the first hot spurt hits Suga's abdomen and he seizes up with a strangled moan. If any doubt remains that Suga doesn't see nearly as much action as his body desires, it's swiftly silenced by just how much come paints his torso before he finally slumps back onto an elbow with a groan of relief.]

Oh... my God...

[ it's unfair, honestly, just how fucking cute suga is like this. it's not just the allure of virginity or some shit like that; yuki is genuinely into him, his face and body and personality and just - everything. something about the way the other boy can barely reply, the way his body is reacting, his expression as he's nearing the edge - it all makes yuki want to hold him close and protect him.

at the same time, it also makes yuki want to absolutely ravage him.

he watches in silence as suga's climax overtakes him, his own hand stilling and his lips parting as he sees just how intense the other's orgasm is. there's so much come that yuki can't help but be impressed and he thinks briefly of what it would be like to lick it off of suga's abdomen. the thought sends a fresh rush of heat to his groin and he squeezes himself hard, letting out a shaky exhale.

fuck. he really wants to fuck this kid. ]

Good boy, [ he murmurs, eyes glittering in the low light of his room, unblinking as he watches suga come down. ] Such a good boy for me, Suga. You're so fuckin' pretty like this...

[Just when Suga's finally able to blink the haze from his eyes and focus on his phone, Yuki's blazing stare hits him like a freight train and he swears he could get it up again in minutes, seconds, if Yuki demanded it of him. Whatever strange bond they've begun to form here, the desire at its core definitely flows both ways.

The only small problem with Suga's lofty fantasies is the fact that most of his body now feels like warm, pleasantly tingling rubber. He's both too exhausted and too thoroughly sated to conceive of going again, especially when Yuki still hasn't come at all.]

Me...? [A breathy laugh, as Suga shakes his head.] You have to be the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life right now. Do you know what I'd give to climb through my phone screen and finish you off? I bet you'd be surprised by how good I am with my mouth...

[Oh, how the turn tables. The fine edge of wickedness that lurks beneath Suga's sweet exterior is in full force now as he takes over the role of seductor, all his inhibitions and nerves melted away by a blistering hot orgasm.]

[ yuki's eyes widen as he listens to suga, surprised by the sudden shift. it seems as though all he needed to get comfortable was one little orgasm - how convenient. yuki finds himself sitting up a bit, eager to see how much more there is to this side of his new friend. ]

You use your mouth a lot? [ his grin widens and he starts pumping himself again, in clear view of the camera so suga can see exactly how he's responding to each filthy word. yuki's pretty used to being the one doing the charming, but he's more than happy to let his partner take over. in fact, it's kind of nice - almost like he's being pampered, instead of just being used yet again. ]

For a guy with such a cute face, you're actually kind of a slut, aren't you? [ he tilts his head, a mischievous look stealing over his expression, and it's clear he's trying to egg suga on. ] What would you do to me, if you were here right now?

[That right there, that is Suga's favourite reaction to anything he does - impressed surprise as a result of underestimating or oversimplifying him. He cultivates the ability to be a wildcard by presenting himself simply, with a face or role that people can easily slot into a category and then ignore... sure, he rarely uses the ability outside of volleyball, but it's not hard to think of this exchange as another kind of game. He definitely needed to take the edge off his own greedy desire first, but now he's ready to play.]

Like I said, my time's usually limited when I get to mess around with someone, so I learned to get him off as fast as possible. [Suga's teasing side still leans much more coy than Yuki's and he's not nearly as fluent in true filthy talk, but watching Yuki respond sends his confidence through the roof in no time.] Maybe I am a slut... blowing people I don't even like so they'll return the favor, sexting with strangers...

[Why is "cute-faced slut" such a fun notion right now? Even the people who know him best would be shocked by his actions right now, and yet the role fits him like a glove. He leans closer to the screen again, grinning right back at Yuki.]

I'd take your balls in my mouth first, one at a time. Maybe even see if I can fit both. And I'd rub the tip with my thumb at the same time to hit two sweet spots at once. How's that sound, to start?

[Yes, Suga has absolutely made the most of any experimenting he's been able to do thus far.]

[ ah. there he is. this is suga's true face, without a doubt. in the back of his mind, yuki can feel a faint sense of relief start to settle; it would be one thing to take advantage of an innocent teenager, but if suga's less naive than he initially seemed, that makes this a lot easier. whatever lingering feelings of guilt he had evaporate and his dick throbs within his grasp as if it knows they can go full throttle at last. ]

Mmh. [ a heated breath escapes him as he listens, eyes drinking in the way suga's mouth moves as he speaks. it'd look really cute on his cock, that's for sure. yuki can picture it without any effort: the younger boy on his knees, taking him in deep, that earnest desire to please mixed with youthful desperation written all over his face. ]

So you do know what you're doing, [ he chuckles, rubbing his own thumb over the tip as soon as suga mentions it. his free hand drifts down to play with his balls and his breath hitches, a sharp sound rising from his throat. somehow, it manages to sound musical, despite how lewd it is. ]

And after that?

All I said was that I'd never been penetrated! You didn't ask about anything else!

[Suga laughs in delight at the accidental deception he seems to have orchestrated here, which is made all the sweeter by Yuki's unequivocally positive reaction to the truth. His gasps and groans and occasional - well, Suga's not sure what to call them, but they're almost like trills of pleasure make for a delicious reward.]

After that, I'd take the head into my mouth and linger there for awhile to give it lots of attention. I really like pressing on the slit with the very tip of my tongue and massaging it until I can actually taste how good it feels... oh, and I'd stroke you too while I was doing that, tight at the base and then looser up toward the top. Do you like a twist in there too?

[As much as Suga seems to be playing for the upper hand, he's got the exact look in his eye that Yuki imagines - intensely eager to please, zeroed in on Yuki both as his task at hand and the object of his own desire. This isn't about control for control's sake, just about getting Yuki off as hard as possible.]

[ yuki would laugh if he wasn't so busy moaning. suga's more attractive than ever like this, so clearly knowledgeable and excited to put that experience to good use. his confident tone and excited expression send thrill after thrill racing up yuki's spine; he doesn't even try to hide how affected he is by all of it.

suga deserves that much, at least. ]

Yeah, [ he breathes, nodding, his hands mimicking everything suga says: a thumb massaging the tip, a broad palm stroking the shaft, fingers squeezing and releasing at exactly the points mentioned. his eyes are half-shut now, lips open and shiny, his own body pulling more and more taut with each motion. ] I do - fuckkk, Suga...

[ how long has it been since someone's looked at him like that? innocent, eager, doing this for him and not just for themselves? yuki wants this more than he's wanted anything else for the past week, month, year. he wants suga to look at him, wants suga to touch him, wants to get lost in suga's body for as long as he possibly can. ]

Getting close - [ he grits out, and for the first time all night suga will be able to see a crack in yuki's confident facade, a tiny hint of vulnerability that flashes over his face as a particularly strong pulse of pleasure floods through him. ]

[This is all Suga's going to think about while jerking off for... at least two or three weeks. Maybe longer. Even if they never meet or speak again, Suga will hold this in his memory and every time he needs to force thoughts of someone else out of his mind, Yuki will be the one to chase them off. He's so open and responsive that Suga's hands ache to touch him, his mouth waters with the urge to taste him...

... and then, for a fraction of a second, Yuki suddenly looks small. Suga wonders if he imagined it, but how could he fabricate something so raw and honest? That odd moment flickers in his heart like a spark, then catches flame - oh, he's always fallen much too easily, but this has to be a new record.

Yuki and Suga will speak again, and they will meet, because Suga can't bear to see something like that again without being close enough to gather Yuki up in his arms.]

Then... [He's a bit subdued now, though no less enraptured by what's unfolding on his screen.] ... this is when I'll take you in deep. Don't worry, I can take your load right down my throat. You won't choke me.

(( ooc: apparently we hit captcha so I moved us over here! ))

[ it's too much. suga's so sweet, so good - even with that devilish side, he's too innocent to be talking to someone as messed up as yuki. they shouldn't ever meet. yuki should never allow suga to get trapped in his orbit. he knows well enough by now how that works out; in the end, nobody's happy.

but. ]

Suga --

[ those eyes are so kind. ]

I'm-!

[ all it takes is the mention of suga swallowing his come, eager and easy and so goddamn good, and yuki's gone. his eyes squeeze shut and his mouth falls open, a strangled sound somewhere between a moan and a cry wringing its way out of his throat and through the speakers of suga's phone. his orgasms hits like a freight truck, hips jerking violently, and it's his turn to have his skin painted with droplets of hot liquid.

it feels like it lasts forever. white noise buzzes in yuki's ears; by the time he comes back to himself he realizes he has no idea how much time has passed. for a moment, suspended in that strange post-orgasmic high, suga gets a chance to see yuki's real face: young, beautiful, but with a sadness that lingers in the depths of his eyes. ]

That was...

[ his voice is hoarse. he swallows, then tries again. ]

Holy hell, Suga...

Edited 2024-05-01 02:20 (UTC)

1) Have you been drinking? Sustained a concussion, perhaps?
...Yes, I would still (love/like) you if you were a worm.

2) You said you were going to teach me how to dance, twirled around once, and threw up on the floor. I was offended and disappointed at the same time.

3) Consider yourself warned: the next time you yell "bombs away" when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me.

4) Stop being dramatic. I only stabbed you a little.

5) The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning.

6) ( text him! misfires and assumed cr are very welcome. )

I can appreciate that.
Thankfully my place is underground, so the sun won't bother you here.
Dante might
But not the sun.

Dante could be considered akin to the sun.
Warm. Bright.
Prone to causing headaches.

That being said, your abode has been mostly pleasant thus far.
[Aside from the... bioweapons and your perpetually angry husband, but he just stays away from those things.]

Mornings are complete bullshit.

Sorry I woke you.

Well said.

A shame you had to leave, but it's to be expected. You're a busy man. Urgent business?

Early board meeting like my father enjoys so very much and I had to pretend I wasn't at your place last night and that we weren't up all night.

Ah. Yes, I am very familiar with how greatly you enjoy those.
It's thankful Tseng knows every exit in the building, I suppose. Cuts down on the questions.

Especially when I have to sit next to Palmer who I'm sure bathes in cheap cologne.

And there would have been a few questions since all my clothes are disheveled and I smell of you.

[Ugh. Just the mere mention of it makes Sephiroth's nose hairs curl.]

Someone ought to strip that man of his right to wear cologne.

Hm... An alarming state of dress for Rufus Shinra himself, yes. What a dreadful thing it would be for people to assume the vice-president is being manhandled by a SOLDIER.
[...kekeke. Rufus isn't the only one who can be an ornery little shit who likes to flirt with getting them caught.]

[It takes all his self-control not to laugh, he has to cough and cover his mouth with his hand hoping no one looked at him.]

It would be a huge scandal. What would happen if someone saw some of the pictures I've sent you. Or found out how your chair got broken.

Listen.

Very well. I'm listening.
If you manage to come up with an acceptable enough excuse, I may even apologize for elbowing you in the throat.

that's reassuring to hear but i wasn't too worried since i'd make the cutest worm.

Deadly, to boot.
It's difficult to counter against such a well-made argument.
I can think of no cuter worm.

we can be worms together and have matching bows!

( attached: img.png )

no one will be able to stop us with how adorable we are!

Edited 2024-04-26 19:47 (UTC)

[Oh. Oh no... that's just too cute.]

Are you sure that's wise?
Combined, we may just be too powerful for the planet to handle.

The world will simply be falling at our feet. [...Hm.] Well, I suppose worms don't have feet.
...Our tails, perhaps?

[ ooc; i'm always too serious and overthinking texting stuff, so it's fun to be a little silly and goofy. ]

( It takes her a minute or so to reply, with her starting a reply, erasing it, and starting again. )

you know, you might be right.
don't think they can handle *two* of us in our ultimate forms and peak adorableness, so one of us will have to be a worm and the other the caretaker.

do we ✋ paper, ✊ rock, ✌️ scissors to see who is the worm?

[Considering, considering...]

Hm. It's certainly an option.
But not here. Only in person.
You'll cheat otherwise.

[WHO here is more prone to cheating, sir?]

me, cheat?!
i would never

( She totally would, don't listen to her. )

and you sir, are rude

fine, name the time and the place
and when you lose, into the terrarium you go.

I got dizzy. 😞

Well. It was an earnest effort, at least.
Let's perhaps hold off on the drinks next time we attempt dance lessons, shall we?

Okay, okay. No more tough drinks before dance lessons.

Good.
But that does beg the question, were you genuinely going to teach me?
Or was that all drunken talk?

I'll admit, I struggle to imagine you enjoying that sort of thing.

[Too much energy. Probably more prone to stepping on toes than anything. But maybe Sephiroth's being too judgmental, though!]

I was! Genuinely!

I wasn't sure what I was planning. Maybe Lambada? Or something like that. Maybe rumba? Salsa?

Foxtrot?

IDK

I didn't take the training for dancing besides the basic waltz they have us do, so...it was mostly from what I've seen on TV. But I think I'm a pretty good teacher, for having been self-taught...

[Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the phone.]

You know all of those?

[Utterly flabbergasted. Even just knowing the names is more than Sephiroth expected. Maybe he was judging too harshly. Sorry, Zack.]

Now I'm doubly disappointed by my missed opportunity.

Well... self-taught or no, that's more than I can say in my own favor.
The only dance I know is combat.
So. Do consider taking me under your wing once more.

[He's graceful and he learns fast; he could probably pick it up on his own if he wanted. But learning this way is much more endearing.]

You call that a little, big brother?

Yes.
You're still alive.

[.....love youuu, Kadaj.]

Still alive. Still bleeding.

[ He isn't as worried as he should be. ]

Were you drunk?

[Oh dear...]

Kadaj... Have you tended to the wound at all?

No. It was meant a lesson in situational awareness.
But it seems my teaching methods could use some work.

It is not easy to wrap one's own wound.

[ Big brother got him good. ]

Situational awareness? Did you stab the others too?'

[ Or was it just him? ]

Are you home?
I'll come tend to you.

[It's literally the least he can do for shanking his own poor brother. Sheesh.]

...Loz.
[But Loz - with all of his freakish speed - mostly just got nicked in the shoulder.]
He's still crying.

[LOOK, it's just... a little tough love, okay? Ambushes can happen at any moment!]

I'm home.

[ Where else would he be? ]

That explains why Loz was having a fit.

[ Unlike his brother, though, he's not crying over being stabbed. As for tough love? Did they really need that? After all, a certain bad brother tends to try the ambush thing more than they cared to admit. He could handle Cloud just fine. Being stabbed by Masamune, however, sucks. ]

Very well. I'm on my way.

[Well... ideally the hospital, but. They're a really weird family who probably doesn't think they need those.]

...Yes. My apologies.
I'll rectify all of this soon.

[He's not sure how yet. All of his ideas feel a bit childish when compared to being literally stabbed. Maybe he'll just call a family meeting later and ask what they want in return for their big brother taking combat training too far. A dangerous endeavor but... deserved at this point.]

I'll be waiting.

[ Hospital? What need was there for a hospital? Nor would they ever find him in one either. ]

I'm sure that you will, big brother.

[ Would Kadaj want anything in return for big brother taking combat training too far? Probably not. Would he rather stab Sephiroth? Quite possibly. Would he? No, not really. There was only one brother he would truly stab and he wasn't with them. ]

[At this point, Sephiroth wouldn't object to a retaliatory stab. Fair is fair, especially when big brother notoriously tends to go overboard with things.

But he's expediting the journey home and picking up extra first aid on the way just in case. He keeps supplies around the house, because with the four of them sharing it... well. It's pretty much necessary. But he doesn't want to get home and find out that the stuff he needs has been used and no one told him. He's already tormented Kadaj enough for the day.

It's not long before he's heading through the front door, giving the house a quick scan for his brother.]

Kadaj.

[If he doesn't hear an answer, he'll assume he's probably upstairs.]

[ If Kadaj was going to stab anyone then it was Cloud. The one brother he has no actual love for. The other three? They mean something. Even if big brother takes training a bit too far sometimes. The man means well after all.

There's no answer when Sephiroth gets home. He has no reason to be downstairs trailing blood everywhere. He, at the very least, had the foresight to head upstairs and attempt to tend to the wound there. Was there a trail of blood? Probably not as bad as there could be.

When his big brother does, eventually, find him it's in the bathroom leaning back against the wall. He refuses to slide down it and get blood everywhere. Refuses to show that he's weak. He was not weak and he would rip apart anyone who said otherwise. ]

even if i was an ugly fuzzy worm??? you promise?

[Elena... you really gotta stop being cute. Sephiroth's heart can't take it.]

Yes.
I would guard you with my life.
Carry you around in my jacket, if I must.
[...There aren't many people Sephiroth would humor this nonsense for. Well done.]

REALLY??? thats so kind, seph, thank youuuu

[the question is would she be embarrassed when she realizes...]

Of course.
There is little I wouldn't do for my favorite Turk.

Do you need someone to pick you up?
[He's assuming she's drunk at this point, but it's a bit of a toss-up. Sometimes she's just Like That.]

you mean it? but what about tseng...?

and no dont worry!! im well taken care of

Tseng is pleasant enough. I enjoy his company.
But he doesn't enjoy smuggled pop tarts nearly as much as you.

Good.

that's seriously so sweet....dont ever let anyone talk shit about you, seph, not ever

They tend not to.

[...To his face, at least.]

But if you hear anything, I trust you'll handle it.

you know it!! i'll stab them

[Oh my god.]

The punishment doesn't need to be quite so severe, Elena.

it might.

1. Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.

2. Being a pessimist is great. I’m always either right or pleasantly surprised.

3. Don't be alarmed by the blood on me, it's not mine.

4. How drunk was I? funny drunk? or "touchy-touchy trying to make out w ppl" drunk...?

Look man

You wanna drink, you're wearin' clothes

Bar rules

No exceptions, even for me? One time?

Wear a towel

Or a BALLGOWN

Tired of seein' dicks out I didn't ask for

I wasn't going to come bare-ass naked

Underwear is involved, just not pants

The Chosen of Death or whatever horseshit and you can't manage pants

FINE

Underwear and you're sitting on napkins

Last offer

It's champion, not chosen, that sounds a bit douchey

why!?

...

you can give me your apron

HA. You're almost funny!

Come get your damn booze

[Vax will not get an apron. However, the bar napkins are really nice cloth. And large. Perks of getting remodeled by the King of Hell.]

Almost? I'm always funny

I'm on my way

[he will actually grab something to wrap around his hips, some sort of table cloth, to spare his bartender]

[At least this joint accommodates wings, which shouldn't be such a pain in the ass. Husk nods as the Rogue/ Paladin/ Whoever This Week walks in.]

Smart choice.

Mead? Somethin' stronger?

[It's really questionable what he's right now. 'Wraith' could probably encompass all of those things, it wouldn't be an insult.]

The best thing you have, doesn't have to be the strongest.

[He's going to take drinking naked on different level]

Edited 2024-04-27 15:13 (UTC)

Sure.

[If Vax is paying any attention (Swear the guy can see through walls) he'll see absinthe swirled into a glass and dumped back out. Then comes a sugar cube, bitters, cognac, and finally champagne. Sugar on the rim with a lemon twist.

Husk slides the cocktail down the bar. Smirking.]

One Dead Man's Hand.

What??? What happened??

Asshole tried to pickpocket me. I punched him in the face. Turns out I broke his nose and he bled everywhere.

He definitely chose the wrong guy to pickpocket, huh? We don't even look like we have money.

You can say that again. Don't try to steal from a professional!

[ #doubt]

When he realized he got a broken nose for nothing it became a shitshow, so I did the most sensible thing- ran away. He still managed to bleed all over me so - I need a good bath.

Do you need help? With the blood, I mean! I'm a professional at getting it out of clothes at this point...

Sure- I mean if you have time. I can deal with it too eventually

I have time. It's harder the longer it has to set. As long as you don't mind me hanging onto your clothes for like a day.

No, no, it's not a problem. Thanks a bunch, Kiki.

You're welcome, Vax.

And I'm glad you're okay.

Don't worry, it'll take more than some petty thief to injure me.

Drinks later?

Yeah! Better spend that coin before someone tries to make a second attempt, right?

If there's next time, I'm going for the fingers >:)

Less mess!

tfln

Guinevere 'Guin' Davies / OC / OTA

TK Strand | 9-1-1 Lonestar | m/m

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