Jingle bells, Batman smells—!

[taintedcrimson]

Happy Holidays Meme

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Wherever your character is, whatever their feelings on the plethora of holidays found in December, they're bound to be caught up in the festivities. It's up to you what kind of holiday they'll experience! (Feel free to exchange Christmas for whatever holiday your character celebrates.)

Directions
1. Comment with your character, series, preferences, etc.
2. Roll a number between 1-17 (gen) or 1-4 (smut) for a prompt.
3. Reply to others and play out the scenario!


Gen Prompts
1. Tree Shopping — There's nothing like a freshly cut tree at Christmas. Do you go out into the woods to find one yourself, or do you stroll through a lot while it's snowing, looking for the perfect tree?

2. Ice Skating — Do you skate at rink or out on a frozen pond? Have you ever skated before? How many times do you fall?

3. Pinterest Fails — You're set on making your own gifts this year, so you try out some adorable Pinterest ideas... And fail miserably. How do you salvage Christmas?

4. Secret Santa — The names have been drawn and now you're tasked with finding the right gift for someone who you may hardly know. Is it easy, or do you have to do some reconnaissance before making your decision?

5. Christmas Market — There are stalls of handcrafts and delicious goodies lining the streets, with crowds of people out walking in the snow and drinking mulled wine.

6. Decorating the Tree — How will the two of you decorate the tree? Do you spend a half hour untangling the twinkle lights, make popcorn strings while listening to carols, argue over who gets to put the star on top?

7. Road Trip — The snacks are packed and you’re ready to go to grandma’s house. But what happens when you lose GPS signal and get lost in the middle of nowhere or the car breaks down?

8. Stuck in the Airport — You’re snowed in and the hotels are full of fellow delayed passengers. Why don’t they make these chairs more comfortable for sleeping in?

9. Avoiding the Family — You’re obligated to go home for the holiday, but there’s only so much you can take of your family. Go for a walk, stop by the bar, whatever it takes for a little peace and quiet - and meet someone along the way.

10. Christmas Party — Are you hosting the event, or just bringing an extra bottle of wine? Is it a work function? How many glasses of spiked eggnog have you had?

11. Baking Shenanigans — How long does it take for the two of you to destroy the kitchen, either with forgetting to put the lid on the blender or simply starting a food fight?

12. Burned the Turkey — Well, the main course is a little blackened. Time for Chinese food, or is it pizza this year?

13. Mistletoe — The little sprig of green strikes again! Are you the one stuck under it, or the lucky finder ready to claim your prize?

14. Last Minute Shopping — Are you out fighting the crowds for the best deals? Or are you behind one of the counters, stuck in the annual retail holiday hell?

16. Turbo Man — You have one last thing on your shopping list, but it's the hottest of the season and everywhere is sold out. There's only one left — but they've spotted it too! Who will walk away victorious?

17. Taking in a Show — Who doesn't love going to the theater during the holiday season? The shows always seem a little more magical this time of year, and that new musical sounds like just what you need to get in the spirit.

18. Write-in Option — Is there something we missed? Is there another scenario you want to play out? Go for it!



Smut Prompts
1. Present Under the Tree — You've wrapped yourself up and are waiting for that special someone.

2. Sneaking Away at a Party — No, you can't wait until you get home or the guests leave, you need them now.

3. Keeping Warm During a Snowstorm — The power's gone out and you have to stay warm somehow...

4. Baking Surprise — How on earth did you get chocolate there? Oh well, can't let it go to waste!

Comments

[jobbies]

[By the time he sees it coming, it's too late. Charlie's shoulders jump and he lets out a raspy cry of pain as it hits him in the back of the shoulder, stinging through multiple layers of clothing (since he still doesn't have a proper winter coat.)]

Ack! You put a shit ton of mustard on that! Oh, I felt that one.

[He flexes his shoulder with a brief scrunch of his face but then he's grinning again and dropping low like he's ready for more. He knows he'd better be faster or the next one might be worse. A knit stocking cap isn't the best head protection.]

[assholic]

[A slight twinge of guilt, and she was about to apologize, but then he went back to 'dog chasing a ball' mode and she shook her head.]

You know you're an idiot, right?

[jobbies]

[At least he's smart enough not to deny it.]

You got anymore for me or is your arm tired already?

[His eyes glint playfully like he knows that's impossible.]

[assholic]

Buddy, I could throw you all day and not get tired.

[Not true, but she's being cocky now because he's a cocky little idiot that brings it out in her.]

[jobbies]

Hey, you can throw me around anytime you want. You know that.

[And he 100% means it. Oh how he wishes she would throw him.]

Just don't throw me through the ice because then, y'know, you'll put a hole in it.

[assholic]

I'm not throwing you, Charlie.

[She'd almost forgotten his obsession with that. She sat back on the box and went back to sipping her beer.]

More concerned about putting a hole in your head. Don't think you can handle another one.

[jobbies]

[It's clear she's not going to pitch another snowball at him so Charlie lets his guard down and skates up to her, this time without showering her with ice. He plops down in the snow next to her and grabs another beer.]

Dennis couldn't even put a hole in it with a bullet. Pretty sure my head can handle anything.

[assholic]

[She paused with the beer halfway to her mouth.]

Are you telling me that your friend shot you in the head with a gun?

[Yup, that annoyance with Dennis was simmering. Hell, she'd shot Luke with a shotgun point blank, but that was different. And so was he. A little shotgun blast wasn't going to kill him. Probably. Charlie, on the other hand, aside from being capable of consuming large amounts of toxic chemicals and drugs without dying, was just a run of the mill human.]

[jobbies]

[Charlie scrunches the side of his face dismissively while screwing off the bottle cap.]

Yeah but it was a long time ago and it was dark and he didn't really know it was me. I'm over it.

[Then he takes a big gulp, cheeks bulging as he rushes to swallow while lifting the side of his snow hat above his ear.]

Got a cool scar, though. It's buried under my hair but you can still kinda feel it.

[assholic]

Uh huh.

[She moved her hand over to his head, sliding her fingers through his hair to find the ridge of scar tissue.]

Maybe I should give him a matching scar.

[jobbies]

[If she sifts through his hair long enough she'll find it. Her fingers are a little cold but it still feels nice and Charlie closes his eyes with a soft sigh.]

I don't think he'd survive whatever it is you'd do to him. Besides, I've been through worse.

[Getting ran over by the Range Rover was way worse. Those leg casts made doing the Charlie work about 10 times harder.]

[assholic]

Doesn't mean your prick of a so-called-friend should get away with it.

[She'd seen some of his medical records, because she was a snoop. It's what she did. Yeah, he'd been through a lot worse, and she had to wonder how he was still alive. Maybe he was some kind of freak himself and just wasn't aware of it.]

I could just break both his arms.

[Said as she kept brushing her fingers through his hair. He was sitting still for it, which was better than him skating all over the place like a lunatic.]

[jobbies]

[The longer she strokes him, the more he relaxes into her touch. Eventually he pulls his hat off completely and gives her full range of that mess he calls hair.]

Yeeeeah but then he won't be able to serve beers and he'll be running around the bar bitching about everything and being useless. ...You can totally break his legs though.

[That would be some sweet payback.]

[assholic]

I could always break his jaw and have it wired shut for a bit. Blessed silence.

[She musses up his hair because he seems to be letting her, then takes another sip of her beer.]

So why'd they drag you up here and ditch you?

[jobbies]

From what I can gather, they were gonna get a whole bunch of hams and turkeys, stuff 'em with goods that are illegal in Canada then cross the border and sell it to a Canadian crime ring for maximum profit. That and maybe they didn't want to get caught with a dude tied up and passed out in the trunk. It might look like smuggling or human trafficking, I dunno.

Mac tried explaining it to me real quick before they left but I was pretty fuzzy at the time and didn't catch it all.

[Charlie takes a drink, glad to NOT be involved in a scheme for once.]

[assholic]

That sounds like a completely moronic idea.

[Then again, most of what she'd heard Charlie and his gang do for shits and giggles along with their 'side hustles' had her wondering how any of them managed to leave the house with their pants on.]

[jobbies]

Tell me about it. They're totally gonna get busted. Which makes me think I'm gonna be here for a while.

[Charlie stuffs his hat back on over his head, adjusting it briefly.]

What about you? You, uh, got any plans for tonight?

[He really hopes she doesn't if she can't already tell from the look in his eyes.]

[assholic]

I hope you realize you're not even a little bit subtle. You could always come back with me, you know.

[It'd be better than leaving him out here where he might chop his hand off with an axe with no one around to know about it until it was too late. His 'friends' really needed to be dropped off a bridge.]

[jobbies]

[There's nothing subtle about the smile on his face either. Any answer other than "I'm busy tonight" is a great answer.]

I could, yeah. But I have a good firing going and it's actually kinda nice out here surrounded by all this nature shit.

[assholic]

[That smile was making her want to grin, so she turned away to look around at 'all this nature shit'. It had snowed and stopped earlier on that day, so there were big fluffy piles of untouched white all around them, pillowing on the branches of the trees and blanketing everything in white.]

Looks like the start of a goddamn Hallmark movie. You better not have a reindeer around anywhere.

[Implying that she might be staying long enough to not want to run into a fucking reindeer, Charlie.]

[jobbies]

I think we drink and swear too much for this to turn into a Hallmark movie. I've never actually seen one though but I'm guessing all their ideas come from Christmas cards and those are pretty G-rated.

[Charlie sits up, eyeing Jess's boots.]

You sure you don't wanna give Mac's skates a try?

[assholic]

Not really the skating type, Chuck. And I'm not clunking around in your gay boyfriend's skates. Who knows what footrot he has?

[It was a lame excuse, but Jess hadn't really learned how to skate. Falling on the ice on a lake wasn't where she wanted to learn.]

[jobbies]

His skates are pretty new. I mean they still smell really fresh. I don't think he's even worn 'em yet.

[He knows because he smelled them.]

Have you ever skated before?

[assholic]

[She was going to snort out something close to a laugh, because of course he smelled someone else's shoes. Skates. Whatever. She sipped her beer and slanted a glance sideways at him when he questioned her.]

Once.

[It hadn't ended well. Super strength on an ice rink was a bad idea.]

[jobbies]

[There's a pause while Charlie listens and looks at her like he was curiously waiting for her to add more, but then she doesn't.]

...Oh yeah? How'd that go?