bakerstreet | Jingle bells, Batman smells

Entry tags:

Jingle bells, Batman smells—!

Happy Holidays Meme

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Wherever your character is, whatever their feelings on the plethora of holidays found in December, they're bound to be caught up in the festivities. It's up to you what kind of holiday they'll experience! (Feel free to exchange Christmas for whatever holiday your character celebrates.)

Directions
1. Comment with your character, series, preferences, etc.
2. Roll a number between 1-17 (gen) or 1-4 (smut) for a prompt.
3. Reply to others and play out the scenario!

Gen Prompts
1. Tree Shopping — There's nothing like a freshly cut tree at Christmas. Do you go out into the woods to find one yourself, or do you stroll through a lot while it's snowing, looking for the perfect tree?

2. Ice Skating — Do you skate at rink or out on a frozen pond? Have you ever skated before? ~~How many times do you fall?~~

3. Pinterest Fails — You're set on making your own gifts this year, so you try out some adorable Pinterest ideas... And fail miserably. How do you salvage Christmas?

4. Secret Santa — The names have been drawn and now you're tasked with finding the right gift for someone who you may hardly know. Is it easy, or do you have to do some reconnaissance before making your decision?

5. Christmas Market — There are stalls of handcrafts and delicious goodies lining the streets, with crowds of people out walking in the snow and drinking mulled wine.

6. Decorating the Tree — How will the two of you decorate the tree? Do you spend a half hour untangling the twinkle lights, make popcorn strings while listening to carols, argue over who gets to put the star on top?

7. Road Trip — The snacks are packed and you’re ready to go to grandma’s house. But what happens when you lose GPS signal and get lost in the middle of nowhere or the car breaks down?

8. Stuck in the Airport — You’re snowed in and the hotels are full of fellow delayed passengers. Why don’t they make these chairs more comfortable for sleeping in?

9. Avoiding the Family — You’re obligated to go home for the holiday, but there’s only so much you can take of your family. Go for a walk, stop by the bar, whatever it takes for a little peace and quiet - and meet someone along the way.

10. Christmas Party — Are you hosting the event, or just bringing an extra bottle of wine? Is it a work function? How many glasses of spiked eggnog have you had?

11. Baking Shenanigans — How long does it take for the two of you to destroy the kitchen, either with forgetting to put the lid on the blender or simply starting a food fight?

12. Burned the Turkey — Well, the main course is a little blackened. Time for Chinese food, or is it pizza this year?

13. Mistletoe — The little sprig of green strikes again! Are you the one stuck under it, or the lucky finder ready to claim your prize?

14. Last Minute Shopping — Are you out fighting the crowds for the best deals? Or are you behind one of the counters, stuck in the annual retail holiday hell?

16. Turbo Man — You have one last thing on your shopping list, but it's the hottest of the season and everywhere is sold out. There's only one left — but they've spotted it too! Who will walk away victorious?

17. Taking in a Show — Who doesn't love going to the theater during the holiday season? The shows always seem a little more magical this time of year, and that new musical sounds like just what you need to get in the spirit.

18. Write-in Option — Is there something we missed? Is there another scenario you want to play out? Go for it!

Smut Prompts
1. Present Under the Tree — You've wrapped yourself up and are waiting for that special someone.

2. Sneaking Away at a Party — No, you can't wait until you get home or the guests leave, you need them now.

3. Keeping Warm During a Snowstorm — The power's gone out and you have to stay warm somehow...

4. Baking Surprise — How on earth did you get chocolate there? Oh well, can't let it go to waste!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

Knowing you, you'd somehow come back with like, crow milk or rabid possum milk. No, thanks. I can live with whiskey and wine.

[She snags a bottle of each and heads back to the couch.]

[Charlie adds some more firewood to the hearth and pokes at it with an iron poker.]

It would be pretty hard to find crow's milk since they lay eggs and most of them have probably flown south for the winter but, if real, it would be totally packed with protein and would give you all the powers of a crow.

[And thus the seed for the concept of Fight Milk was planted.]

[When in crazyland with a crazy guy, play the crazy game.]

You want all the powers of a crow, huh? Exactly what powers are those? Shitting on people from above?

[She oddly wasn't stressed out by him near a fire while they had alcohol. She opened the wine, opting to start small.]

[He joins Jess on the couch in front of the fireplace and pulls off his hat and gloves.]

Well that, and awesome eyesight — especially a keen eye for finding great stuff in the trash — plus excellent facial recognition and genius level intellect for solving any problem. Imagine if you spot a face in a crowd and it turns out to be that guy who was a jerk to you years ago and you totally have the option to shit on his head from above. Wouldn't that be pretty awesome? I think that'd be pretty sweet.

Shitting on someone's head isn't my go-to. I'm more of a punch them in the face until they shit out their own teeth kind of gal.

[She glances sideways at him, watching him get comfy.]

So what would you have done if I hadn't picked up? Just stayed out here all alone until they remembered to take you back home?

[He doesn't take off his boots or his jacket just yet, comfy sitting there for now with his beer and his ruffled hair. As he considers the question, he lets his eyes wander with a shrug.]

I dunno, I guess I'd just hang out here and keep the fire going until they got back. I'm sure I could last a few days out here as long as I've got fire and beer.

And if it lasted longer than a few days?

[It was times like this that she'd really like to be in a room with his friends. Alone.]

I don't really think they'd leave me out here for more than a week, unless they were like in jail or something. They need me too much. Who else is gonna unclog the pipes and clean the bathrooms in the bar and bash all the rats? Not them.

[Paddy's wouldn't last a week without him there to fix everything that went wrong, he's confident of that. Charlie takes another sip from his beer.]

And if they found someone else to treat like shit?

[She had this weird urge to get Charlie to see that he was being used as more than a doormat by them. Maybe he couldn't do better, but... fuck.]

[Mid-swallow, he gives his head a shake.]

Nah, they've tried that before. Didn't work out very well. Plus, Frank booked this place and he'll be back to get his money's worth because he's a total cheapskate and they'll want to lay low anyway after they pull off their Canada ham scheme or whatever.

I know these guys. Yeah, they're assholes and they're unreliable and they'll dump you out in the middle of the woods half-conscious, but they're pretty predictable. It's like we're all on the same wavelength. Probably why we still stick together.

[She was her own flavor of asshole, she maybe she just didn't get why someone would want to be around that kind of... inadequacy. She shook her head, then turned to open her bottle of whiskey and take a pull.]

Does the bathroom have a bathtub or a shower?

[Change the subject. That made sense.]

Yeah, I think so. [He nods, his expression turning slightly concerned.] ...Why, do I have BO again?

[Cue Charlie sniffing his pits. He's been showering more often lately (for Jess' sake) but sometimes he still forgets if he's wearing deodorant or not.]

Just figured I'd give you a dunking before we got naked.

[Well, she was out here. And there wasn't anything to do other than drink. Which she'd do anyway, so... why not give him some kind of reward for not winding up getting killed after being dumped here by 'friends'.]

[At the prospect of getting naked together, he gives her a playful, almost shy smile. A slight bounce of his knee belies his excitement.]

Alright. ...You want me to go pop into the shower or do you actually wanna dunk me in something?

[The saddest thing about that question was that if she told him to go dunk himself in something, he probably would. She reached over and gave his knee a squeeze.]

Shower, Chuck. I'm an asshole, but I'm not the same brand as your friends.

[He'd dunk himself in whatever she told him to if it meant getting naked together. He glances down at her hand on his knee, still smiling, then back up at her with a chirpy note in his voice.]

Yeah! No problem.

[After chugging what's left of his beer, Charlie kicks off his boots and shrugs out of his "jacket" (which is actually just a shirt-jacket over of a hoodie). Once he's wriggled his arms free, he leans over and gives Jess a quick peck on the mouth, then he's up and heading for the shower.]

[She watches him shrug out of his not-coat, then head off for a presumably quick shower. She took a longer swig of the bottle- a chug, really. Being drunk would help her dull down how mad she was at his shitty friend group. But it was likely that she was going to wind up hunting them down and doing something to them. Like breaking Dennis' car. That seemed valid. Something had to happen to all of them. She'd just plot what that something was.]

[As angry as he was earlier at the Gang, Charlie has all but moved past it. Today might've started out pretty bad but then Jess showed up and things got a lot better. He spends most of his time in the shower belting out 80's rock anthems while he washes (and he's actually pretty good at carrying a tune.)

After a few more minutes, he steps out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and smelling like whatever soap he found in the shower. Outside, the wind is starting to howl but the firelight in the living room is warm and inviting. He comes over to snag a sip of wine from Jess's open bottle.]

Hey. How's it going in here? Alright? ...You've got this look on your face. You plottin' something?

[He knows that look. He's definitely not judging though, just curious.]

Could be.

[She relinquished the wine easily. He tottered out in his towel after his impromptu serenade, and she enjoyed the way the room had darkened as the sky had, the firelight flickering across his skin as he drank from the bottle. She moved to toe her boots off, still sitting on the couch but slumping down a little as she watched him.]

Trying to decide if I want to just beat the shit out of all of them or make them suffer a little more long term.

That's what you were thinking about? Beating up my stupid friends for me? Aww, Jess.

[Charlie grins, amused and a bit touched by the revelation. No one's ever wanted to beat up his friends for doing something bad to him. Setting the bottle back down, he steps around behind the couch and rests his hands, warmed from the shower, on her shoulders and starts rubbing lightly.]

That's probably like the nicest thing anyone's ever wanted to do for me but really, you don't have to. I'm pretty sure you'd totally annihilate them if you kicked their asses. They would just shatter to pieces on impact. Especially Dennis — he's practically made of glass.

[He came around behind her and started rubbing at her shoulders, and she sighed and slumped a little lower.]

Dennis could use a little breaking. He's a massive creep.

[The reports she'd found via her digging in police records certainly shone a dirty, creepy light on that particular member of the gang.]

Did they even give a shit if something happened up here?

I dunno. They'd probably give a shit if I died or something.

[His brows draw together questioningly.]

...How do you know that stuff about Dennis? Did you stop by the bar one time when I wasn't there?

[Oh man, he'd hate to miss an opportunity to welcome Jess at Paddy's, even if it meant she might annihilate his coworkers.]

What do I do for a living, Charlie?

[She tipped her head back to look up at him. Put two and two together, Chuck.]

All of them have a record. So do you. His is more... questionable.

[There's a pause while his brain cells clunk together, then]

Ohhhhhhh! I get it, yeah, okay. Soooo you've probably seen all of our records then, right? Oh shit...

[Charlie can't actually remember every crime he's been hit with but he knows there's a lot. The list includes a colorful range of criminal activity from mundane to serious to absurd: Arson, assault, battery, attempted robbery, underage drinking, public intoxication, disorderly conduct, kidnapping, horse-napping, perjury, filing false police report, vandalism, mail obstruction, breaking and entering, trespassing, home invasion, extortion and illegal sale of gasoline. There's an awkward pause while his gaze wanders down toward the floor and away; he's not exactly proud of his reputation but he's not denying it either.]

We've done a lot of shit over the years. Pretty sure every judge in Philly hates us... I get what you mean about Dennis though. Like I dunno what it is with him, but he can get real creepy around women. If you met him he'd probably try to DENNIS you. He has this "system" called the DENNIS system and it's like a series of steps. First one's demonstrate value or something. Couple more steps and then he bangs her. Then in the last step he pisses her off and they never see each other again. I dunno, I don't actually get it? But that's his thing that he does.

He wouldn't be able to pass the first step with me.

[As far as Jessica was concerned, Dennis had no value. He was one scream away from being a registered sex offender. She was borderline aching to actually meet him in a dark alley all alone. It's one of the reasons she'd never stopped in to see Charlie at work. She couldn't guarantee she wouldn't burn the place down.]

Says more about you that you don't get it.

[Charlie had stalking on his record, but it seemed to be fixated on one particular woman, one who had a record of her own. The idea of him cheering Dennis along just didn't fit in her head.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject