Jingle bells, Batman smells—!

[taintedcrimson]

Happy Holidays Meme

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Wherever your character is, whatever their feelings on the plethora of holidays found in December, they're bound to be caught up in the festivities. It's up to you what kind of holiday they'll experience! (Feel free to exchange Christmas for whatever holiday your character celebrates.)

Directions
1. Comment with your character, series, preferences, etc.
2. Roll a number between 1-17 (gen) or 1-4 (smut) for a prompt.
3. Reply to others and play out the scenario!


Gen Prompts
1. Tree Shopping — There's nothing like a freshly cut tree at Christmas. Do you go out into the woods to find one yourself, or do you stroll through a lot while it's snowing, looking for the perfect tree?

2. Ice Skating — Do you skate at rink or out on a frozen pond? Have you ever skated before? How many times do you fall?

3. Pinterest Fails — You're set on making your own gifts this year, so you try out some adorable Pinterest ideas... And fail miserably. How do you salvage Christmas?

4. Secret Santa — The names have been drawn and now you're tasked with finding the right gift for someone who you may hardly know. Is it easy, or do you have to do some reconnaissance before making your decision?

5. Christmas Market — There are stalls of handcrafts and delicious goodies lining the streets, with crowds of people out walking in the snow and drinking mulled wine.

6. Decorating the Tree — How will the two of you decorate the tree? Do you spend a half hour untangling the twinkle lights, make popcorn strings while listening to carols, argue over who gets to put the star on top?

7. Road Trip — The snacks are packed and you’re ready to go to grandma’s house. But what happens when you lose GPS signal and get lost in the middle of nowhere or the car breaks down?

8. Stuck in the Airport — You’re snowed in and the hotels are full of fellow delayed passengers. Why don’t they make these chairs more comfortable for sleeping in?

9. Avoiding the Family — You’re obligated to go home for the holiday, but there’s only so much you can take of your family. Go for a walk, stop by the bar, whatever it takes for a little peace and quiet - and meet someone along the way.

10. Christmas Party — Are you hosting the event, or just bringing an extra bottle of wine? Is it a work function? How many glasses of spiked eggnog have you had?

11. Baking Shenanigans — How long does it take for the two of you to destroy the kitchen, either with forgetting to put the lid on the blender or simply starting a food fight?

12. Burned the Turkey — Well, the main course is a little blackened. Time for Chinese food, or is it pizza this year?

13. Mistletoe — The little sprig of green strikes again! Are you the one stuck under it, or the lucky finder ready to claim your prize?

14. Last Minute Shopping — Are you out fighting the crowds for the best deals? Or are you behind one of the counters, stuck in the annual retail holiday hell?

16. Turbo Man — You have one last thing on your shopping list, but it's the hottest of the season and everywhere is sold out. There's only one left — but they've spotted it too! Who will walk away victorious?

17. Taking in a Show — Who doesn't love going to the theater during the holiday season? The shows always seem a little more magical this time of year, and that new musical sounds like just what you need to get in the spirit.

18. Write-in Option — Is there something we missed? Is there another scenario you want to play out? Go for it!



Smut Prompts
1. Present Under the Tree — You've wrapped yourself up and are waiting for that special someone.

2. Sneaking Away at a Party — No, you can't wait until you get home or the guests leave, you need them now.

3. Keeping Warm During a Snowstorm — The power's gone out and you have to stay warm somehow...

4. Baking Surprise — How on earth did you get chocolate there? Oh well, can't let it go to waste!

Comments

[jobbies]

[He's grinning bigger as he twists the cap back on his beer bottle and slips it away into one of his pockets. Once ready, he stands up with his skates draped over his shoulder by their tied laces and the box tucked under his arm. Charlie isn't sure what he's ready for but he's curious to find out.]

Are you gonna piggy-back me up there like I piggied you around the lake?

[assholic]

Not exactly.

[She beckons for him to come closer, and then she's going to hoist him up over her shoulder.]

Try not to puke on me.

[Once she's sure he's not going to try to squirm free, she's jumping. Jumping, as in, pushing off from the ground hard enough that it might kind of feel like flying, and traveling most of the distance between where they were at the lake and where the cabin was. She landed with a whuff, knees bending to take the brunt of the force as she slapped his ass.]

You good?

[jobbies]

[Draped over her shoulder, he's looking at the ground as she leaps, watching as it suddenly gets very far away. Then she lands and his guts do a bit of a somersault but he doesn't puke. Like a newborn, the slap on his ass reminds him to breath again and his skates swing around by his neck as he tries to look up at her.]

HOOOOOOOOOLY SHHHHIT, DID YOU JUST FLY?

[assholic]

Nope. That was not flying. Not even close.

[She had issues with that, Charlie.]

I jumped.

[She sets him down carefully, making sure he's steady on his feet before she lets go.]

[jobbies]

[Back on his feet again, Charlie wobbles slightly and grips her shoulder.]

Flying? Jumping? Whatever that was, it was fucking awesome! I didn't know you could do that.

[Now it's Charlie's turn to do something brash and impulsive. He cups her face between his hands and plants a quick but enthusiastic kiss on her lips. Then he lets go and raises his fists skyward with a loud shout that echoes to the treetops.]

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Somebody liked the ride.]

[assholic]

[She let him, because she'd started it, and there was a grin there as he heralded his glee to the great outdoors. Shaking her head, she gestured towards the cabin, giving his chest a light push.]

Get inside. Might as well start a fire if you haven't already. It's going to get cold.

[jobbies]

[As an afterthought, he stops to pick up the box he'd let crash to the ground moments ago in his excitement to kiss her because, holy shit, his girlfriend fwb can fucking fly! Then, giving her hand a squeeze, he starts heading toward the cabin with her through the trees.]

Don't worry, I'll keep you warm and toasty all night long. I've got a shit ton of wood. Seriously I have so much wood, I'm up to my balls in wood. These balls.

[He points to his eyeballs. Yes, that much wood. He'd chopped up a whole tree in two hours with only an axe and his fury at the Gang as his fuel.]

[assholic]

[Trust Charlie to not draw attention to the balls most men seemed to like being on prominent display. She rolled her eyeballs and walked behind him, wondering again at why he hung out with the people he hung out with.]

As long as there's four walls, a fire, and something to drink, tonight shouldn't be too much of a shitshow.

[jobbies]

Oh, I checked out the liquor cabinet and it is stocked.

[The Gang had made sure of that, at least. Charlie leads the way back to the cabin, stomping his snowy boots on the porch steps once they're reached it. There's a huge rack of firewood taller than a person just beside the back door — clearly, Charlie'd done some chopping. He slides the door open for Jess.]

I still can't believe I didn't know you could fly— jump like that. That was amazing! What else can you do that I don't know about?

[assholic]

It's not something I do often. Draws a lot of attention in the city.

[Unless done in an alley when no one was looking. People saw unexplainable things and instead of wanting them explained, they either feared them or revered them. She wanted neither option.]

I'm strong and I can jump. Maybe a bit faster. And I heal better than most. That's about it.

[jobbies]

Don't forget you're a really great pitcher. I've seen you throw.

[To add another to the pile. Charlie considers good aim a separate skill of its own. He wouldn't want to catch what she throws but he wouldn't mind taking a swing at it with a bat sometime just to see if he could actually hit it.]

Soooooo what's the highest and farthest you've ever jumped?

[assholic]

[Not if she didn't want him to. Or, if he miraculously made contact, whatever she threw was likely to break the bat, if not rip it from his hands. One of the reasons she didn't play sports growing up.]

I don't exactly keep track, Chuck.

[Trish had wanted to, but then, Trish had always been more excited about what Jessica could do than Jessica was.]

[jobbies]

[Charlie puts the box back where he found it in the nearest closet, then takes off the skates he's wearing around his neck and hangs them from the doorknob.]

Alright but... would you say you could jump over this cabin?

[It's a two-story with an upstairs.]

[assholic]

Yeah, Charlie. I can jump over the cabin.

[Barely a blip, really. She could scale most of the buildings in New York, or at least make it in two jumps.]

[jobbies]

Really?? That's badass!

[He says excitedly while pulling a beer from his pocket.]

Dude, that would be great for checking out bird eggs that are in places too hard to reach by climbing.

[assholic]

Explain to me why I'd be checking out bird eggs in any place, let alone hard to reach ones?

[She walked further into the cabin, looking around to see what there was to see. Rooms? Bathrooms? Fireplace?]

[jobbies]

To see what kind they are. And because eggs are delicious.

[He uncaps his beer and takes a drink.

There's one large room with high ceilings, a kitchen area and a fireplace. More firewood is stacked up against the wall near the hearth. A first floor bedroom and bathroom branch off from the main room and a staircase leads up to a second level where the doors to a few other bedrooms are visible. (There really aren't enough rooms for each member of the Gang to have their own but Charlie was happy to share a room or sleep on the couch.) Most importantly, there's a fully stocked liquor cabinet in the main room.]

[assholic]

I'm not a hunter gatherer, Chuck. I'm a buyer at the supermarket.

[She checks out what there is to see, then comes back to flop down on the couch. Charlie was not going to be sleeping on the couch while she took a room. If she happened to be there when 'The Gang' came back, she'd make all four of those fuckers stay out in this room while Charlie picked a bedroom for each article of his clothing. Dumbfucks.

Yeah, she was mad about them leaving him out here. He could handle it for a while, but they didn't seem to care if he actually had anything happen, and that just pissed her off.]

[jobbies]

That's where I usually get eggs at but sometimes Frank just goes through 'em so fast. I save more by hunting and gathering. Hey, you want something to drink?

[assholic]

Yeah.

[She pushed to get up. She wasn't going to sit there and make him bring her anything. Charlie got taken advantage of too much by his 'friends', and she was already an asshole. She didn't need to add to it.]

What's available?

[jobbies]

Like a shit ton of alcohol, dude. Check this out.

[He's close enough to just start handing her bottles from the cabinet.]

We've got whisky, we've got wine. We've got... [He pauses to squint down at the next bottle.] Kahlo- Kalow-wow. Whatever that is.

[It's Kahlua.]

[assholic]

[He called her 'dude' so casually, she felt a smirk dance across her lips. Trust Charlie not to treat her like a princess, even though he certainly enjoyed getting in her pants.

She came over and took the bottles as he handed them to her, setting them on the counter as he ticked them off.]

Kahlua. Coffee liqueur. Great for B-52s or White Russians. If you've got milk. And vodka.

[jobbies]

I dunno about milk but there's definitely vodka in here.

[Content with his beer, he steps aside to let her look in the cabinet and choose whatever strikes her fancy.]

If you want milk, I could probably find something in the woods that has milk. It'll have to be from a wild animal though since I don't think they have cows out here.

[assholic]

Knowing you, you'd somehow come back with like, crow milk or rabid possum milk. No, thanks. I can live with whiskey and wine.

[She snags a bottle of each and heads back to the couch.]

[jobbies]

[Charlie adds some more firewood to the hearth and pokes at it with an iron poker.]

It would be pretty hard to find crow's milk since they lay eggs and most of them have probably flown south for the winter but, if real, it would be totally packed with protein and would give you all the powers of a crow.

[And thus the seed for the concept of Fight Milk was planted.]