Jingle bells, Batman smells—!

[taintedcrimson]

Happy Holidays Meme

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Wherever your character is, whatever their feelings on the plethora of holidays found in December, they're bound to be caught up in the festivities. It's up to you what kind of holiday they'll experience! (Feel free to exchange Christmas for whatever holiday your character celebrates.)

Directions
1. Comment with your character, series, preferences, etc.
2. Roll a number between 1-17 (gen) or 1-4 (smut) for a prompt.
3. Reply to others and play out the scenario!


Gen Prompts
1. Tree Shopping — There's nothing like a freshly cut tree at Christmas. Do you go out into the woods to find one yourself, or do you stroll through a lot while it's snowing, looking for the perfect tree?

2. Ice Skating — Do you skate at rink or out on a frozen pond? Have you ever skated before? How many times do you fall?

3. Pinterest Fails — You're set on making your own gifts this year, so you try out some adorable Pinterest ideas... And fail miserably. How do you salvage Christmas?

4. Secret Santa — The names have been drawn and now you're tasked with finding the right gift for someone who you may hardly know. Is it easy, or do you have to do some reconnaissance before making your decision?

5. Christmas Market — There are stalls of handcrafts and delicious goodies lining the streets, with crowds of people out walking in the snow and drinking mulled wine.

6. Decorating the Tree — How will the two of you decorate the tree? Do you spend a half hour untangling the twinkle lights, make popcorn strings while listening to carols, argue over who gets to put the star on top?

7. Road Trip — The snacks are packed and you’re ready to go to grandma’s house. But what happens when you lose GPS signal and get lost in the middle of nowhere or the car breaks down?

8. Stuck in the Airport — You’re snowed in and the hotels are full of fellow delayed passengers. Why don’t they make these chairs more comfortable for sleeping in?

9. Avoiding the Family — You’re obligated to go home for the holiday, but there’s only so much you can take of your family. Go for a walk, stop by the bar, whatever it takes for a little peace and quiet - and meet someone along the way.

10. Christmas Party — Are you hosting the event, or just bringing an extra bottle of wine? Is it a work function? How many glasses of spiked eggnog have you had?

11. Baking Shenanigans — How long does it take for the two of you to destroy the kitchen, either with forgetting to put the lid on the blender or simply starting a food fight?

12. Burned the Turkey — Well, the main course is a little blackened. Time for Chinese food, or is it pizza this year?

13. Mistletoe — The little sprig of green strikes again! Are you the one stuck under it, or the lucky finder ready to claim your prize?

14. Last Minute Shopping — Are you out fighting the crowds for the best deals? Or are you behind one of the counters, stuck in the annual retail holiday hell?

16. Turbo Man — You have one last thing on your shopping list, but it's the hottest of the season and everywhere is sold out. There's only one left — but they've spotted it too! Who will walk away victorious?

17. Taking in a Show — Who doesn't love going to the theater during the holiday season? The shows always seem a little more magical this time of year, and that new musical sounds like just what you need to get in the spirit.

18. Write-in Option — Is there something we missed? Is there another scenario you want to play out? Go for it!



Smut Prompts
1. Present Under the Tree — You've wrapped yourself up and are waiting for that special someone.

2. Sneaking Away at a Party — No, you can't wait until you get home or the guests leave, you need them now.

3. Keeping Warm During a Snowstorm — The power's gone out and you have to stay warm somehow...

4. Baking Surprise — How on earth did you get chocolate there? Oh well, can't let it go to waste!

Comments

[jobbies]

[Charlie puts the box back where he found it in the nearest closet, then takes off the skates he's wearing around his neck and hangs them from the doorknob.]

Alright but... would you say you could jump over this cabin?

[It's a two-story with an upstairs.]

[assholic]

Yeah, Charlie. I can jump over the cabin.

[Barely a blip, really. She could scale most of the buildings in New York, or at least make it in two jumps.]

[jobbies]

Really?? That's badass!

[He says excitedly while pulling a beer from his pocket.]

Dude, that would be great for checking out bird eggs that are in places too hard to reach by climbing.

[assholic]

Explain to me why I'd be checking out bird eggs in any place, let alone hard to reach ones?

[She walked further into the cabin, looking around to see what there was to see. Rooms? Bathrooms? Fireplace?]

[jobbies]

To see what kind they are. And because eggs are delicious.

[He uncaps his beer and takes a drink.

There's one large room with high ceilings, a kitchen area and a fireplace. More firewood is stacked up against the wall near the hearth. A first floor bedroom and bathroom branch off from the main room and a staircase leads up to a second level where the doors to a few other bedrooms are visible. (There really aren't enough rooms for each member of the Gang to have their own but Charlie was happy to share a room or sleep on the couch.) Most importantly, there's a fully stocked liquor cabinet in the main room.]

[assholic]

I'm not a hunter gatherer, Chuck. I'm a buyer at the supermarket.

[She checks out what there is to see, then comes back to flop down on the couch. Charlie was not going to be sleeping on the couch while she took a room. If she happened to be there when 'The Gang' came back, she'd make all four of those fuckers stay out in this room while Charlie picked a bedroom for each article of his clothing. Dumbfucks.

Yeah, she was mad about them leaving him out here. He could handle it for a while, but they didn't seem to care if he actually had anything happen, and that just pissed her off.]

[jobbies]

That's where I usually get eggs at but sometimes Frank just goes through 'em so fast. I save more by hunting and gathering. Hey, you want something to drink?

[assholic]

Yeah.

[She pushed to get up. She wasn't going to sit there and make him bring her anything. Charlie got taken advantage of too much by his 'friends', and she was already an asshole. She didn't need to add to it.]

What's available?

[jobbies]

Like a shit ton of alcohol, dude. Check this out.

[He's close enough to just start handing her bottles from the cabinet.]

We've got whisky, we've got wine. We've got... [He pauses to squint down at the next bottle.] Kahlo- Kalow-wow. Whatever that is.

[It's Kahlua.]

[assholic]

[He called her 'dude' so casually, she felt a smirk dance across her lips. Trust Charlie not to treat her like a princess, even though he certainly enjoyed getting in her pants.

She came over and took the bottles as he handed them to her, setting them on the counter as he ticked them off.]

Kahlua. Coffee liqueur. Great for B-52s or White Russians. If you've got milk. And vodka.

[jobbies]

I dunno about milk but there's definitely vodka in here.

[Content with his beer, he steps aside to let her look in the cabinet and choose whatever strikes her fancy.]

If you want milk, I could probably find something in the woods that has milk. It'll have to be from a wild animal though since I don't think they have cows out here.

[assholic]

Knowing you, you'd somehow come back with like, crow milk or rabid possum milk. No, thanks. I can live with whiskey and wine.

[She snags a bottle of each and heads back to the couch.]

[jobbies]

[Charlie adds some more firewood to the hearth and pokes at it with an iron poker.]

It would be pretty hard to find crow's milk since they lay eggs and most of them have probably flown south for the winter but, if real, it would be totally packed with protein and would give you all the powers of a crow.

[And thus the seed for the concept of Fight Milk was planted.]

[assholic]

[When in crazyland with a crazy guy, play the crazy game.]

You want all the powers of a crow, huh? Exactly what powers are those? Shitting on people from above?

[She oddly wasn't stressed out by him near a fire while they had alcohol. She opened the wine, opting to start small.]

[jobbies]

[He joins Jess on the couch in front of the fireplace and pulls off his hat and gloves.]

Well that, and awesome eyesight — especially a keen eye for finding great stuff in the trash — plus excellent facial recognition and genius level intellect for solving any problem. Imagine if you spot a face in a crowd and it turns out to be that guy who was a jerk to you years ago and you totally have the option to shit on his head from above. Wouldn't that be pretty awesome? I think that'd be pretty sweet.

[assholic]

Shitting on someone's head isn't my go-to. I'm more of a punch them in the face until they shit out their own teeth kind of gal.

[She glances sideways at him, watching him get comfy.]

So what would you have done if I hadn't picked up? Just stayed out here all alone until they remembered to take you back home?

[jobbies]

[He doesn't take off his boots or his jacket just yet, comfy sitting there for now with his beer and his ruffled hair. As he considers the question, he lets his eyes wander with a shrug.]

I dunno, I guess I'd just hang out here and keep the fire going until they got back. I'm sure I could last a few days out here as long as I've got fire and beer.

[assholic]

And if it lasted longer than a few days?

[It was times like this that she'd really like to be in a room with his friends. Alone.]

[jobbies]

I don't really think they'd leave me out here for more than a week, unless they were like in jail or something. They need me too much. Who else is gonna unclog the pipes and clean the bathrooms in the bar and bash all the rats? Not them.

[Paddy's wouldn't last a week without him there to fix everything that went wrong, he's confident of that. Charlie takes another sip from his beer.]

[assholic]

And if they found someone else to treat like shit?

[She had this weird urge to get Charlie to see that he was being used as more than a doormat by them. Maybe he couldn't do better, but... fuck.]

[jobbies]

[Mid-swallow, he gives his head a shake.]

Nah, they've tried that before. Didn't work out very well. Plus, Frank booked this place and he'll be back to get his money's worth because he's a total cheapskate and they'll want to lay low anyway after they pull off their Canada ham scheme or whatever.

I know these guys. Yeah, they're assholes and they're unreliable and they'll dump you out in the middle of the woods half-conscious, but they're pretty predictable. It's like we're all on the same wavelength. Probably why we still stick together.

[assholic]

[She was her own flavor of asshole, she maybe she just didn't get why someone would want to be around that kind of... inadequacy. She shook her head, then turned to open her bottle of whiskey and take a pull.]

Does the bathroom have a bathtub or a shower?

[Change the subject. That made sense.]

[jobbies]

Yeah, I think so. [He nods, his expression turning slightly concerned.] ...Why, do I have BO again?

[Cue Charlie sniffing his pits. He's been showering more often lately (for Jess' sake) but sometimes he still forgets if he's wearing deodorant or not.]

[assholic]

Just figured I'd give you a dunking before we got naked.

[Well, she was out here. And there wasn't anything to do other than drink. Which she'd do anyway, so... why not give him some kind of reward for not winding up getting killed after being dumped here by 'friends'.]

[jobbies]

[At the prospect of getting naked together, he gives her a playful, almost shy smile. A slight bounce of his knee belies his excitement.]

Alright. ...You want me to go pop into the shower or do you actually wanna dunk me in something?