mytacism (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2021-10-29 05:12 pm
mytacism) wrote in bakerstreet2021-10-29 05:12 pm
Entry tags:
1. you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
2. I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
3. He went into the dryer of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
4. Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
5. you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
6. Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
7. [Or text her!]
2. I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
3. He went into the dryer of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
4. Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
5. you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
6. Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
7. [Or text her!]
what can i say rolling with the punches is my specialty
[ bio + potential tw ]
1. All I want is a nice guy with good aim.
2. Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them.
3. I think I'm in Mexico but I found a Denny's.
4. I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
5. Text Janet.
1. All I want is a nice guy with good aim.
2. Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them.
3. I think I'm in Mexico but I found a Denny's.
4. I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
5. Text Janet.
Edited 2021-10-29 21:14 (UTC)
1. I'm neither a catcher nor a pitcher, I'm not a member of any sports team
2. Did you know that the English language has three thousand words for intoxication?
3. Yes, I was in your bed. 🤨🙄 I was just watching you sleep.
4. The majority of fish are oviparous, but male seahorses give live birth.
5. Sam's underwear are still in my coat pockets. What am I supposed to do with these
[ misfires welcome lol ]
2. Did you know that the English language has three thousand words for intoxication?
3. Yes, I was in your bed. 🤨🙄 I was just watching you sleep.
4. The majority of fish are oviparous, but male seahorses give live birth.
5. Sam's underwear are still in my coat pockets. What am I supposed to do with these
[ misfires welcome lol ]
1. I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
2. I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
3. You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
4. With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
5. I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
6. Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
7. [Text them!]
2. I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
3. You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
4. With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
5. I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
6. Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
7. [Text them!]
Wow, poor Spidey having to deal with you being that against him.
1. halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
2. I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
3. Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
4. stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
5. it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
6. [ text him! ]
2. I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
3. Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
4. stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
5. it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
6. [ text him! ]
1. for using a life jacket as a pillow, i slept pretty good last night...
2. what if there is no right person? maybe its just the right cat. or the right 12 cats.
3. she just started grabbing all the hospitals rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse and saying "my tax money paid for these!"
4. some lady just walked up to me at the convenience store and proclaimed that i looked like a "shady motherfucker." cant argue with that one.
5. hey u know whose phone this is? i found it in the garbage
6. ( or text her! )
2. what if there is no right person? maybe its just the right cat. or the right 12 cats.
3. she just started grabbing all the hospitals rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse and saying "my tax money paid for these!"
4. some lady just walked up to me at the convenience store and proclaimed that i looked like a "shady motherfucker." cant argue with that one.
5. hey u know whose phone this is? i found it in the garbage
6. ( or text her! )
Edited 2021-10-29 22:23 (UTC)
yeah. wtf Rin. you see any girls without arms nearby?
1. Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it?
2. Really you haven't lived until you've watched sunrise over Barcelona. Want to go?
3. Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
4. I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of the sexy potential of dressing to accent your assets. Never have.
5. Controversial opinion. Have you considered NOT hitting on anything that moves?
2. Really you haven't lived until you've watched sunrise over Barcelona. Want to go?
3. Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
4. I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of the sexy potential of dressing to accent your assets. Never have.
5. Controversial opinion. Have you considered NOT hitting on anything that moves?
Edited 2021-10-29 21:14 (UTC)
1. I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
2. I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
3. And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
4. I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through Satan's asshole.
5. You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
6. Wildcard - text him!
2. I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
3. And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
4. I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through Satan's asshole.
5. You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
6. Wildcard - text him!
1. Sorry for delay. Needed new phone. Dropped other one off the plate.
2. I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
3. People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
4. I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
5. In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick you into the ocean.
2. I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
3. People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
4. I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
5. In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick you into the ocean.
1. he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
2. You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
3. Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
4. It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
5. Some days, my lieutenants make me wish for an assassination attempt.
6. ( or text him! just specify which nishikiyama you want if youre texting a specific one )
2. You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
3. Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
4. It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
5. Some days, my lieutenants make me wish for an assassination attempt.
6. ( or text him! just specify which nishikiyama you want if youre texting a specific one )
1. There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
2. I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
3. how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night? I don't even like beer.
4. White coat. Heels.
5. I haven't been this mad since Reno literally blocked access to my apartment building with an entire military parade.
2. I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
3. how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night? I don't even like beer.
4. White coat. Heels.
5. I haven't been this mad since Reno literally blocked access to my apartment building with an entire military parade.
1) According to the office gossip the new variant is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should find a fake wedding ring?
2) I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
3)
Haha just talked to the guy you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
4) And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
5) Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't think that works if you announce it to me.
And you better not get me a jacket with that on its back.
And you better not get me a jacket with that on its back.
1. booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
2. You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
3. No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
4. I used to think that I might have my life together by this point. Kid me might be disappointed.
5. Last time you drove we lost not one but TWO cars. You're not designated anything tonight.
2. You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
3. No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
4. I used to think that I might have my life together by this point. Kid me might be disappointed.
5. Last time you drove we lost not one but TWO cars. You're not designated anything tonight.
1. find something slutty to wear, this year we're going dick or treating.
2. i'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. this probs won't end well.
3. semi hypothetical question. do you think its physically possible to bruise your dick?
4. he asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
5. i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it.
2. i'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. this probs won't end well.
3. semi hypothetical question. do you think its physically possible to bruise your dick?
4. he asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
5. i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it.
1. What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
2. thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
3. I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
4. Hes the only one i know who can talk to a guy for an entire hour about the science in starwars and still get laid.
5. Can't come drinking tonight. Defending my building from a siege by mafia. Have fun.
2. thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
3. I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
4. Hes the only one i know who can talk to a guy for an entire hour about the science in starwars and still get laid.
5. Can't come drinking tonight. Defending my building from a siege by mafia. Have fun.
1. Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
2. The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
3. Do you think I could talk Stark into funding me and someone else going on a tour of Europe? I am tired of just just exploring alone.
4. Cap has suggested we take turns preparing food for the team. I don't know what to do for my night. I get bored watching things cook, so I can't do things on the stove. Do you think I can get away with it always being taco night?
5. You could have told me it WASN'T their birthday BEFORE I went to the effort of setting up a party and inviting everyone.
2. The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
3. Do you think I could talk Stark into funding me and someone else going on a tour of Europe? I am tired of just just exploring alone.
4. Cap has suggested we take turns preparing food for the team. I don't know what to do for my night. I get bored watching things cook, so I can't do things on the stove. Do you think I can get away with it always being taco night?
5. You could have told me it WASN'T their birthday BEFORE I went to the effort of setting up a party and inviting everyone.
1. Fuck. That. I'm goint to get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a GOD.
2. When im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being on my own.
3. This is really not the time to pretend we have morals
4. My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
5. I think that "I fucked your brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
6. Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided!!
7. Text him.
2. When im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being on my own.
3. This is really not the time to pretend we have morals
4. My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
5. I think that "I fucked your brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
6. Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided!!
7. Text him.
Do you like it? I braided some of your hair into mine, along with some strawberry shoelaces. I wanted something to go with my hair in yours.
Bjorn "Stormbringer" Larsson | OC | Ziggy Stardust universe | ota
metallhuvud
2021-10-29 09:17 pm (UTC)(link)
i. we let off fireworks inside the room because they were all pink glittery and very loud.
ii. my judgment is not impaired because I’m on roller skates naked throwing jam tarts at bitches.
iii. I spray-painted on the cop car “grumpy bastards are fucking hot” in pink paint because it was Sunday.
iv. you told me to have a drink to calm my nerves so I downed 2 bottles of Jack and 1 Akvavit and spent my birthday on the toilet.
v. FUCK YEAH SEX ON THE BEACH! That’s what I yelled at everyone from the passenger window of the car.
vi. was I that trashed I ended up with kinky leopard print panties on in the morning? What the FUCK HAPPENED?
ii. my judgment is not impaired because I’m on roller skates naked throwing jam tarts at bitches.
iii. I spray-painted on the cop car “grumpy bastards are fucking hot” in pink paint because it was Sunday.
iv. you told me to have a drink to calm my nerves so I downed 2 bottles of Jack and 1 Akvavit and spent my birthday on the toilet.
v. FUCK YEAH SEX ON THE BEACH! That’s what I yelled at everyone from the passenger window of the car.
vi. was I that trashed I ended up with kinky leopard print panties on in the morning? What the FUCK HAPPENED?
1. I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Super hero way
2. i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
3. If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
4. Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
5. I know I promised to go shopping with you tomorrow, but there was an incident with a bank robbery and now I have the WORST black eye.
2. i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
3. If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
4. Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
5. I know I promised to go shopping with you tomorrow, but there was an incident with a bank robbery and now I have the WORST black eye.
1) I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
2) My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
3) The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
4) But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
5) I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see you around wearing that sweater you stole from me after we had sex
2) My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
3) The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
4) But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
5) I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see you around wearing that sweater you stole from me after we had sex
Do I want to know why your whole body is covered in spray paint? Also I hope you didn't scrub yer penis with paint thinner....
1. maybe you like being manmeat for every tom, dick and harry.
2. sure, if that's what you're into.
3. got tricks up them sleeves... vampirically speaking.
4. lookin' to get my hands on some AB negative.
5. oh i heard, heightened senses and all. how'd you put it again... 'he's full of southern hospitality and i want to be full of him'
6. [ text him! open to misfires, castmates, crosscanon, au's, etc.also yes, had to throw in a quote or two. ]
2. sure, if that's what you're into.
3. got tricks up them sleeves... vampirically speaking.
4. lookin' to get my hands on some AB negative.
5. oh i heard, heightened senses and all. how'd you put it again... 'he's full of southern hospitality and i want to be full of him'
6. [ text him! open to misfires, castmates, crosscanon, au's, etc.
1. I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises.
2. Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
3. I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
4. Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone.
5. I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
6. Text him!
2. Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
3. I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
4. Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone.
5. I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
6. Text him!
[Alastor is rather steadily making his way through a bottle of wine in his room when the infernal torture device known as a cellphone goes off. He glares at it, almost personally offended by it.]
[If it's Charlie, he'll just say he's busy. Besides, it's late, and he quite frankly had a terrible day besides. He reluctantly picks up the phone and reads over the message.]
[Dammit, Angel Dust. Why do you send him weird things like this?]
How should I know?
[He sets the phone down and goes back to his drinking.]
[If it's Charlie, he'll just say he's busy. Besides, it's late, and he quite frankly had a terrible day besides. He reluctantly picks up the phone and reads over the message.]
[Dammit, Angel Dust. Why do you send him weird things like this?]
How should I know?
[He sets the phone down and goes back to his drinking.]
Erik "String Master " Ivarsson | Ziggy Stardust universe | ota
rockandroll_swede
2021-10-29 09:18 pm (UTC)(link)
i. I woke up in a sex shop with glitter in my hair surrounded by male sex dolls with horse cocks. Please explain.
ii. we went out for a picnic to experience nature so I stripped all my clothes off and shouted “SEX IS ART” as loud as possible.
iii. I told him he was a tart for dressing up his Barbie doll with a sparkly pink sock with arm and leg holes cut out of it.
iv. we rode in the car and I offered to blow you because you were needing instant stress relief due to you missing your morning drink of tea.
v. FUCK! We stole all the candy in the store because you put your underwear on the wrong way around when you got up.
vi. you told me its kinky to fuck a brother of a friend who is a trashy whore bitch.
ii. we went out for a picnic to experience nature so I stripped all my clothes off and shouted “SEX IS ART” as loud as possible.
iii. I told him he was a tart for dressing up his Barbie doll with a sparkly pink sock with arm and leg holes cut out of it.
iv. we rode in the car and I offered to blow you because you were needing instant stress relief due to you missing your morning drink of tea.
v. FUCK! We stole all the candy in the store because you put your underwear on the wrong way around when you got up.
vi. you told me its kinky to fuck a brother of a friend who is a trashy whore bitch.
Told Fin want use Norse magic to summon Robert's cock immediately. He drum around circle of sex doll with ---you said Robert cock?-- for minutes then wander away. Not understand drummer all time.
1. To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
2. Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
3. I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
4. My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." That couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
5. [text him]
2. Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
3. I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
4. My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." That couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
5. [text him]
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