listen to your heart 😌

[parrygripp]

"Can You Handle Your Emotions?"

Emotions are... eh. We all have them, whether we want to or not. Some people have control over their emotions, and some people let their emotions control them. Where does your character fall on this spectrum? More importantly, what's their relationship with their emotions like? Do they bury everything deep, deep down inside, or are they the first one to cry over a sappy movie? Do they even know how they feel about what's going on inside? Pretty meta stuff.

• No blank top-levels.
• Instead, characters are to respond to the proposed question: can you handle your emotions? / are you in touch with your feelings?
• Get deep. Look within. Hear, think feel... or don't.

Comments

[fellfurthest]

Fine fine.

Yes. [GRITS TEETH.] Humble angel, despite being God's first and eldest and in charge. [ALL THE IRRITATED GRIT TEETH.] Lord Diavolo remarked on that quite a bit when we first met. He kept expecting us to be the same because he's been raised and taught to take the Demon King's place, but obviously, that was never the case for me. Though really, I'm not sure that's humility as much as any angel is aware of Father's strength and the ridiculousness of anyone -- [.... Defeating him. Less ridiculous for Alexiel. Replacing him? Can he just... not finish that thought please?]

I've never been a masochist. [Well... no. That's not entirely true.] I could indulge it if -- [Pinches a bridge between his eyes. Fuck some days, Alexiel...] someone worthy brought that out of me, seeing as purely indulging my own sadism and not returning the favor would not hold my eternal interest, okay? [IRRITATED. But yes, that's true. He is a sadist, not compensating for the masochism, but the empathy absorption definitely makes him FEEL like a masochist AND a sadist because see above: empathy feedback loop. Not helping his usual interactions with Alexiel either where it becomes an out of control yin yang he can't tell heads or tails from.]

[He GROANS again about asking Solomon.]

[She's right.]

[He hates that she's right, he hates she KNOWS she's right, and he hates she knows he knows she's right.]

[But luckily she derails him from complaining by glaring at him.]

Why did you ever assume I wouldn't?

[Oh right--]

[HUFF.] I am never fully cognizant in the mornings. No matter what my hangover level is. [Low blood pressure to the classic nth degree.] I rarely forget anything, and with you, I treasure our time too much to allow myself to forget.

[How much did he mislead her on purpose? A little?] My memories of the drinking itself are a little fuzzy, but no, I remember very well my best cousin taking good care of me. Thank you.

[Otherwise can he just... go back to pretending he didn't tell her how much he loves EVERYONE EVER?! PLEASE?!]

[againstgod]

Did you know you constantly bring up how Diavolo perceives you?

[her brows lift in amusement. it's all the time with small clarifications here and there. then she waves it off. she won't bring up the tired topic of his feelings for that demon. she knows how that ends.

his former humility (and the masochist he admits he could humor) does make sense in how these 'avatars' function. almost as a way to deny their angelic nature. ]

And this magician? [ she asks when he doesn't say anything about it. he's not slithering out of this. ] Talk to him, Morningstar.

[then it's her turn to scoff, crossing her arms.]

You did not correct me when I called you my nephew.

[her tone remains accusatory, but she looks strangely placated, and she almost looks... more relaxed, as if this relieved her. it's such minor lapse, but she really doesn't like when people forget moments they spend with her.]

[fellfurthest]

[......... His face does the cartoonish thing with the blush and rising temperature like a thermometer.]

[Shit. Really?]

[He must... because... his brothers ALL have wanted to strangle him and constantly harrangue him for that.]

[Fuck does he do this WITH EVERYONE? Or just family... Probably everyone, isn't it?]

[That's... a fucking problem, yes.]

[An uncertain embarrassed cough.] I was unaware it was that bad... thank you for drawing my attention to it. I had been ignoring my brothers mentioning it. [Because you know... brothers. He just assumed they wanted to irritate him. Obviously.]

Fine fine. [Solomon.]

Tch. I told you to stop calling yourself my Aunt. What, 3 times here alone???

[Poor Alexiel. No, he would never, but he can definitely DEFINITELY get it. He wants to whisk her away to Devildom again. But freedom is all fine and well, but being forgotten seems the way of humans and reincarnations.] I will never forget you. One day or one million years. I'm far from perfect, but my memory remains one of the best.

[againstgod]

Bad is relative. [she points, gaze sharpening. love is never bad. but that topic is still a sore spot with him.]
But you have political enemies here. Even if you don't behave like this with them.

[and how much he tolerates them. it makes her sigh. this isn't her area.]

They can eavesdrop.

[he's right, but gave no indication he remembered that. and when he awoke-]

I wronged you. [she grudgingly admits. she's fair to admit her blame and accept the demand of compensation.] You can ask me a favor.

[but his insistance he won't forget, and trying to seal that with a promise, it's-
bad.
crossroads sometimes erase memories; he shouldn't make these hollow promises. it'll make her even more cruel next time.]

Stop. [she reaches to cover his mouth, stopping before touching him and retracting immediately. heaving a sigh, alexiel shakes her head.]
Don't stay anything anymore.
You'll do your best. That's enough.

[fellfurthest]

I meant severe. [Wryly.]

Alexiel.

I love you as one of my own. [By which he means family, brothers, fallen angels, someone with him since those earliest days and even before, but also after, the worst of the worst, because she has seen him at his worst now. And just in case she was worried, he could only SAY IT when he's drunk, no, he can, he's just usually a little more trying to be scary.] But you do not know the politics of Devildom. Please accept that just as I accept I know next to nothing about your universes' heaven, Father, and Hell, sans what you've told me, and yes, I do hinge on your every word.

Yes, I have many political enemies. But not a single one in Hell doesn't want for me to be even louder and more vocal about my devotion to Lord Diavolo. I had to spend centuries convincing them I wasn't a spy for Heaven and Father. They don't reject me for not having any desire to seek out my own wife and kids, they just struggle to adapt to the idea of a new future in the next few centuries that will have a different idea of how to maintain true strength concentrated in individuals rather than dynasties, understood? Some are jealous because I wasn't born into the position like them, and some are jealous, because Lord Diavolo chooses what he does. But Lord Diavolo has made Devildom more wealthy and competent than any of them ever dreamed possible, none doubt his capabilities, vision, and strength.

I do not [GRIT TEETH AGAIN.] dislike speaking of heaven or my younger days for how it reflects on the current me. And never for political reasons. [He's not 100% dismissing Devildom politics. It's still a thing he has to (and does) deal with, he's just well-aware it looks like child's play compared to both Heaven and Earth, okay? Triple especially Alexiel's universe.] I just find that version of me embarrassing.

There is no point I can speak that is impossible to be overheard. That's part of Devildom's magic. Whether fortunate or not, it's a fact of life. I can easily create magic zones to safeguard if truly necessary, but for the most part, Lord Diavolo and I are well aware of how to use Devildom's propensity for gossip and chatter, and atmospheric buzz and how there's always 70 familiars around at any given time. [Just laughs again.] I really hope you meet him.

[Waves a hand.] You needn't protect me from me. I know that's an impossible concept for an oldest sibling, that's why you're my cousin. But even in the Celestial Realm, Father drilled it into my head hard to understand how to deal with these things. [Shrug.] I know that's harder for you to imagine, but it's probably the best way. As I said, it's math. I could list you out probabilities and timelines and propensities, but it's fastest to just leave it at that.

But thank you for trying. I'm not endangering myself with this. As I said, if anything, they'd be more upset that I didn't go far enough. [ \ :| / Devildom REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY loves Diavolo. Lucifer's pride? LARGELY earned. That's what makes it terrifying.]

[againstgod]

Then you don't have to measure how much you bring him up.

[alexiel wonders then why he thanked her for her amused remark. why is it 'bad' then? is it. ....embarrassment?

it's incomprehensible to her, in a way. each time she couldn't speak of her feelings, there was a good reason behind her silence. to protect her brother, her plan, or both.

to speak her heart was something she earned at the end of that miserable long cycle.]

It even helps you. Keep doing it.

[and like that, he's still avoiding the magician topic. she hasn't forgotten, he'll be on that later.]

Do they still suspect you of being a spy working for this Celestial Realm? [she remembers that demon who tried to question why she cared for lucifer's well-being during her first visit to that realm. did he suspect Lucifer of espionage? to be sure, she'll refrain from traveling again. ]

[fellfurthest]

[Yes. Embarrassing.]

[Also cutting off his options on ever having a life outside of Diavolo, because Lucifer knows it's bad taste to constantly bring up someone you're "hung up on." It's not that he wants to date (WHERE WOULD HE FIND THE TIME?!) but he wants to be seen as at least AVAILABLE-ISH a) pride b) so he's not taken for granted c) so he doesn't lose all his options just because people think he's obviously sleeping with a prince who, as we established, hasn't yet fixed his court's culture surrounding the ideas of hereditary obligations etc.]

[Lucifer actually has texted Solomon and has news, but in a bit.]

[A quiet hum.]

No, and it wouldn't matter. We have actual angels running around Devildom now, and we're trying to get more.

Mephistopheles used to be Lord Diavolo's right hand demon. He actually healed me and my brothers when we fell in the Great Celestial War. He just worries I'll reflect badly on Lord Diavolo, lure him away from work, [THE FERAL GRIN. Well, it is funny. Given Lucifer is a workaholic and Lord Diavolo is usually the one trying to lure Lucifer away.] and doesn't like that I'm a usurper without being demon royalty. Oh, and his family's the oldest winery owners in Devildom, so he's a rival for rare vintages of demonus.

The others are mostly like him. They just want Lord Diavolo to pay more attention to the aristocracy old guard and less attention to any angels, humans, or imps and Little Ds -- non-royal demons.

You needn't worry should you get approached. They're not smart enough to just directly ask what they want. Instead they'll try to go so round about, they'll never get close to their true intentions. They might try to see if they could convince you to spend more time with me, and not Lord Diavolo, or show you the best sides of Devildom to try to brag (they have no idea what Celestial Realm is like), but as I said, they're not smart, but at least they know it. They wouldn't even dream of trying to lure you into something dangerous, because too many witches and reapers, and all of the 7 Lords are far more powerful, so they won't risk something as stupid as that.

It's not like your realm at all. When I first met Lord Diavolo as still an angel, Father's representative. He beat me at chess, as I told you. He said, because I kept trying to win, so aggressive, so haughty, I refused to even shake his hand. My goal from the first step was to convince Devildom they were so far beneath us they should never ever attack at all, lest we obliterate them.

Lord Diavolo's goal was far more feasible, and actually relevant. It wasn't to impress us, he didn't care. He just wanted to make friends of us, not enemies. Anything we did, he could learn from to make the kingdom better. I didn't have any counter strategies for that, because I couldn't even conceive that was his plan. [Laughs! He has VERY FEW fond memories of being an angel, but has ONLY fond memories of everything with Diavolo. IT SHOWS OKAY.] In chess, I kept trying to defeat him as fast and as hard as possible. To make him understand the gravity and power on our side. He didn't try to defeat me once. He just wanted to maintain equilibrium. And because of that, he could outlast me.

Even now, knowing that is is his strategy, he still usually wins.

Yare yare. [Waves a hand.]

Angel, how do you know the difference between a friend finally successfully convincing you to take a day off, which you haven't done in a year... Or more if I don't count family vacations with my brothers. [Obviously Alexiel's pressure helped this decision too.] And something more akin to a date?

[Waves the phone.] Not Solomon. Actually, this is very interesting. It turns out, before I could even ask about Asmodeus, the magician's own empathy is greatly heightened here. We're not sure what it means, and it better not be a ruse. [Solomon is stupid. For a genius.] But he says a lot of the reasons he got so many demon pacts was because it helped him figure out himself versus the other demons he wasn't contracted with, and gave him direct insight to those he was, so he could piece it out.

[Oh, but the "date."]

[... Why is he bringing it up? Diavolo? It feels weird to have friends that aren't Diavolo? Yes. Yes, it does.]

[UGH. He doesn't want to mention it, but it's safer than asking the brothers.]

[GRRRRR.]

I suppose... [Uncomfortable.] This is the problem with me discerning the nature of my relationship with Lord Diavolo too.

[FACEPALM. Yeah. Empathy <-> date <-> friendship = ?]

I mentioned Mephistopheles.

[HUFFS and switches to demon form.] He says my wings are shameless, and too flashy. Because I have 4 now, like Lord Diavolo. [Drags a palm down his face.] I know you wouldn't know the culture here, but it's not like I want attention for them! [HUFFS AND SWITCHES BACK. It's embarrassing. Glances away.] In the early days I had to leave them out more. I was still too new to the illusion magic here to cover them up, and because I tried to claw them off with my bare hands, they took a lot more healing before they finally scarred over. [Spreads hands with a shrug.] And I still don't know if it's just a demon trying to seek out any perceived weakness, or if I'm actually doing something taboo! Or if he just thinks it's like a peacock's tail, because he used to be pride's number one. Yare yare. [FACEPALM AGAIN.] It is fine to laugh. I realize how ridiculously trivial these nuisances are in comparison to where you're from.

Hopefully you can see... you really have nothing to fear here.

[againstgod]

[ her brows shoot up when he said he's the former right hand demon of this ruler. mm. ]

It doesn't sound like he's only a rival for your drink collection.

[ he lets him draw his own conclusions of what else she could mean. it could be a professional rivalry, of course.

when he elaborates on the nobility's feelings, she thinks they must be threatened to lose their despotism practices, but it's not her place to judge, so she says nothing. she's not favoring a system over another. ]

I'm not worried. [ she waves a hand dismissingly. it's not as if she'll come across those situations again. staying out of that realm is probably the best. she's done enough observing. ] My capacity to ignore everyone is second to none.

[nothing to brag about, but she could even pass as an emotionless, silent doll, and nobody would know any better if that were her intention. she did that once.]

...You should probably ask someone with friends. [ she answers flattly. setsuna had friends, and went on a date, but it's not good for her to take his experience as...standard when his date was his sister.

(no, uriel, this 'friendship' with alexiel is vague and almost certainly something he made up in his mind.)] Why? Is someone attempting to court you?

[ with the wizard man consulted, the last piece should fit, and lucifer could try to do that family therapy gamble. he should spill these thoughts to a professional who can actually help with sound (and sane) advice. ]

Morningstar. [ she finally says, reaching to place a hand over his shoulder. what brought this new anxiety about his wings now? is this mephistopheles demon making him feel insecure? ]

Your wings are beautiful. You don't need to conceal them in my presence.
No. You don't need to hide at all from me.

[fellfurthest]

[Lucifer just nods. TRUE ENOUGH. He's thought MANY times Mephisto wanted to bang his cousin Diavolo -- part of the inside joke that he is NOT going to tell Alexiel. But that's an ongoing unresolved issue he doesn't expect to settle until Lord Diavolo decides either status quo and find a royal to marry, or pulls a Princess Jasmine but more insane and rewrites laws and maybe his own gender status, who the fuck knows with Diavolo, really.]

[He laughs softly to her explanation. And as to trying to court him?] No, vice versa maybe. No one bothers courting me. [That's not self-deprecation. That's a: he purposely maintains an aura of death, murder, torture, BUSY, with the only "soft" spot being for Lord Diavolo, so no one bothers hitting on him unless they openly need a sadist for a night and he looks free -- WHICH AGAIN, is pretty fucking rare.] I made a friend, not from Earth, but he's infiltrating Earth, and can see spirits and understands a love-hate of humanity. He treasures his days off more than anything, and I don't even really have days off, I said I'd have to switch them up so my brothers didn't soak them up even more than they already do. We made plans to go to the zoo, but I don't know what makes it different from if I was doing this with Barbatos, basically. [The one friend he can confidently say he has no interest whatsoever in biting. Is this his new way of determining lust vs. whatever the fuck his "normal" is? Yes. Yes, it is. Strangle and string up Mammon? Yes, always. Bite him? No. Gross. Ew. Bite Diavolo? Hell yes, would but worries he won't get enough and ^ see above, Diavolo hasn't resolved other things.] For example, for Barbatos' birthday, I thought he wanted it low-key so I was keeping it secret from my brothers. In this case, I don't want to deal with them on the first day off I'm taking in a big way, so... [What does that have to do with it being a date or not?]

[Oh right, he doesn't date. But in both occasions, his brothers went NUTS assuming it had to be a date. And his empathy is such that he can't fully disentangle it. What he WANTS, versus what others think is what's happening until it's in motion and he tries it. Half of the problem he was having with Alexiel. He thought he wanted something, and then no. No he fucking didn't. And then it's like "why did I even think that?" Yeah.] Well, I'll just play it by ear.

[But at the final part....]

[He just blushes bright red and hides his face in his arms.] You sound like Lord Diavolo when you say things like that, you know.

[Fuck it. WE JUST HAD THE DISCUSSION ABOUT HOW UN-COOL IT IS TO TALK ABOUT ANOTHER PERSON AND MAKE PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE "HUNG UP ON THEM," (especially if you maybe want to go on a date NOT with that one) -- AND HERE HE IS DOING IT AGAIN.]

I'm not hiding my wings. They bump into things in tight quarters, yeah? I didn't like ever having my angel wings out in the Celestial Realm. [Not that he could switch out as easily.]

[Ugh. He knows his wings are definitely... a sore spot. For obvious reasons. He chose them to be. He tried to tear them apart to spite Father and everyone else who kept praising his beauty and the wings and the love Father must have put into him.]

[Huh. He kind of thought he was over it, but it still stings a little. Weird.] I don't... hate my wings. [Rubs his face with a hand.] It was hard when everyone first fell. So I was even more trying to stand proud to show them a way forward. I don't have to do that anymore, between Asmo and Mammon modeling, and even Beelz seems pretty used to his wings now.

[againstgod]

[she hasn't told him about his attempt to talk to her, but she could smell the jealousy around him. maybe she's already recognized those patterns, but prefers to be uninvolved with this love triangle. they are on their own.

when he starts elaborating about this friend and their relationship. before he starts, she holds up a hand and laughs.]

Do you know I'm the last person you want romantic advice from?
My reincarnations' relationships were 'fated' to be doomed.

[she won't even bring up her present unresolved...something she has with the four-winged fool in her world. but even with her other experience, she's no good.

had it been for her father, he would have just punished without that specific pecularity because god didn't understand love. but his intermediary, the judge with god's voice who carried the sentence, uriel, felt jilted by her rejection, and spitefully condemned her to that stereotypical if-i-ca n't-have-you-nobody-will curse for multiple lives. he felt ashamed later, tore his own vocal cords, and banished himself.
but what's done is done.]

You shouldn't sell yourself short. Some people might approach you here. Not everyone thinks you're scary.

[she almost asks about the sheep, but he's excited to share intel about his questionable alien invader friend.]

You don't understand if you're attracted or not. Is that what you're asking?

[she folds her arms, hoping he recalls her warning.]

What is your biggest fantasy? If you can picture him without feeling disgust, then you're a little attracted at least.

 [that can be varied, like how her romantic passion is chanelled on exclusive sadistic violence, verbal, psysical or emotional.]

I never met him, so I can only sound like myself.

[but he talks so much about him that she might learn everything, including his favorite color and food.]

So take them out.
Plenty of space here.

[she spreads her arms wide.]

Or no. Just be comfortable, Morningstar.
I don't have expectations of you. You can just be.

[fellfurthest]

No, that's exactly why I'm telling you.

[A slightly sharp glance into her eyes.] You know exactly why I don't do this regularly. And if anything is weird, you can absorb it and use it yourself in the future. [With other versions of himself.]

They should be more afraid. [Ugh. But he's TIRED OF just torturing everyone in a 3000 mile radius. Can't he just have fun? If they're too "wah wah my Lucifer is actually scary, unlike you bitch" he will definitely whip out his creative torture brain, don't tempt him.]

[As for how to tell if Lucifer is attracted... he just gives her a look. No. Fortunately, that wasn't the worry. It was DEFINITELY more along the lines of "am I going to upset the first friend I made in 1000+ some odd years if I say anything sexually aggressive like I constantly do around you, because I have a PROBLEM relating to people without trying to psychologically torture them and maybe myself," but she kind of answered it... not really, but it's AN answer. Good enough?]

[Lucifer is definitely not going to tell her his biggest fantas(ies) because... Dear Demon Kings slumbering below Cocytus no one needs those mental images in their brains. She has seen his bedroom. It is not a place of cuddle happy fun time fluff, for all it was softened by his drinking and being in love with everything ever.]

[Fantasy for the General? He's trying not to do that, just in case. That was the point. He doesn't want to tempt himself into doing something stupid just because he's an idiot who goes on neither 1) days off 2) friendship stuff outside of literally his boss and coworkers or 3) real dates.]

[Diavolo's favorite color is red. His favorite food is those Hellfire rolled mushroom cigar cookies that Barbatos is amazing at making, hence Lucifer's eternal ETERNAL angst about wanting to be better at it.]

[As for the General (Mr. Villain) greyscale and seasonal ice cream varieties.]

[....]

[Lucifer is learning, okay. He doesn't understand friendship, but he's trying? He also knows Simeon's favorites, but that's another "doesn't count" because Simeon is a former brother like Michael, not flirting-ness.]

[Comfortable.]

[Just be.]

[He tentatively switches to demon, almost looking... nervous about it.] I also haven't been using this much lately since it scares my brothers. Yes, yes, not scaring anyone here is all the more reason NOT to use it. I don't like the idea of demeaning it just by other people's ignorance so they don't understand the significance. [EXACTLY like him and dates and days off, okay.]

It's not 0. My attraction to the friend. The General. He is easy-going, good-natured, has a very shiny pure soul I want to desperately abscond with, [FURTHER CONFUSING HIS "do I want to love this person or eat their soul?"] and we share videos of pandas and factory tours which I don't even do with Lord Diavolo. I'm not trying to weigh the pros or cons, or discern what I want. I just know I don't enjoy your reactions whenever I switch into trying to treat you as anything other than a cousin, and I'd very much hate to unnerve him like that.

This is completely different from Lord Diavolo, who is very open with what he wants, but our pact is towards his dream, his ambition, not himself. So I must always allow that to guide me, personal desires and friendship even aside.

I will be happier either way with the General. He has been trying to get me to take a day off since we first spoke, I have finally agreed to it. I am content to keep things as is. But I neither want to disappoint if advances would be appreciated, nor do I want to intimidate if they would not. [Both hands up.] Nothing more, nothing less. It is not so big a deal. And no, I would never ask Solomon, [At least he's using his name now. Respect + 50 even if it's just somehow getting into Lucifer's head and knowing about the empathy thing.] and it's pointless to ask Asmo, as he is always begging me to go on a real date more often. And I do not want any of my brothers to know about it until later. Either they would well-meaning sabotage, or create unnecessary drama and noise hyperventilating and overreacting -- as they have done many times, even when I wasn't going on a date.

With the empathy circle... it's harder to read cues sometimes. [See again: Alexiel. When he missteps, he fucking knows it, but then he has to backtrack mentally to try to piece a giant worldview puzzle cube to figure out why so he doesn't do it with others or keep doing it.] But no, I know... what I don't want, at least. Lines. Boundaries. It's a start.

1/2 cw for blood and alexiel doing romantic talk

[againstgod]

Ah, now I'm receiving romantic tips, so I'll treat him better? Generous.

[ she bows her head, looking at him with a sharp smile.]

But I like this routine, he and I have- Maybe because love hurt me so much, I want mine to hurt even more. Like when you reach to pluck a rose, and you are pricked by its thorns.
That is how I love. I want to shove my crown of thorns down his throat until his lips are torn and bleeding.

[she declares with a cold satisfaction yet with gaze filled with fondness that couldn't be more contradictory.]

...Maybe I'll kiss his wounds later.

[againstgod]

Mm. [ ...but enough about her, he's got her full attention. she's back at being a patient listener without a trace of those hungry cravings. ] You are saying you would prefer to be the one who is courting, even if there is an opportunity to switch the roles?

[ ... she supposes if he's more comfortable with that. maybe it reveals how he wants to secure his control.

when he switches to a demon, she puts aside her cloak and spreads three wings; the ones rosiel gave her to complete her, stay intangible. she has one of them subtly bump with his to help him boost his confidence. ]

They are part of you.
Other people's reactions shouldn't define them.

[like, really, who cares. he's got to learn to stop relying on their views. that's giving him enough grief.]

Then wait a little.
There's no hurry to figure out what you feel.
How long have you known him?

[she pauses, looking startled, before laughing.]

You didn't unnerve me, Morningstar.
I just couldn't take your actions very seriously. [it's difficult to think they are nothing but his projection and confusion, when he constantly brings up comparisons with diavolo and, sometimes, michael.]
If I were to like you, I would hurt you. I don't want that. I had this conversation with that Lucifer who was a woman once.

[the one who still ranks above him of the five she met in the crossroads.

ezekiel, how that lucifer wanted to call herself, was very skilled, even made alexiel flustered, but she's still pointed out the same. she just doesn't think anyone, but that fool deserves to be cursed with her jaded and hurtful affection.]

I'll be happy if you find someone to care about. Even if it's just a friend.
You have taken a day off, and that's a start.

[he's not telling his brothers, but he's telling her. she's glad he trusts her with this.]

You don't need to rush. This is your first date.

Cw: Lucifer is also insane so ya

[fellfurthest]

Only after he chokes on them. [SO... NO, he's NOT trying to help other Lucifer.]

[It's a fallacy to think this Lucifer is just cuddly and drunk mode. He's... really not. The sadism might be compensating FOR the drunk mode, but it's also his general 99.99% disposition. When you love someone so much, all you want to do is shake them like a dog with a toy.]

Definitely not that long.

[Oh, it was definitely projection and confusion.]

Try me. [But when she says she'd hurt him; it's out of his mouth before he can think about it!]

[Both hands up.] I don't know. I'm not a masochist. But I don't think your sadism is as creative and bizarre as mine. I don't think you can hurt me if I don't let you, and being ignored and underestimated bothers me more. Keeping it to idiot-me is fine, your choice, but you can't tell me to be comfortable and not do your own thing either.

[But his eyes do soften at the end, and he nods.] Yes.

Did you ever...

Have that problem with your version of Father? It's like, if you don't rush, you don't know when something will swoop in and take it all away, but at the same time, obviously everything I like has lasted centuries.

It's annoying.

I think if anything... I wait too long. I'm older, so I want to let everyone else figure their thing out first, and then I'll take whatever is left and outdo all of them. [Or is that a lie he tells himself to pretty up fears? He doesn't think so.]

But I also don't want to only narrow my options down to antiques and the classics just because they're tried and true survivors. I like being unpredictable, adapting to the future, and I want everything I do to mean the most I can make it.

That's -- [GRIT TEETH, kind of bared fangs snarl.] The issue with Diavolo. I will never let him take me granted. Even with the peace secured between three realms, it's not enough. I need more. Want more. Every single opportunity I want to seize. Create room for everyone to get stronger until my best means so much more than it does right now. [HUFF.] And if someone wants to hold my attention, they better be ready to outdo heaven and hell both, because it's going to take that and then some.

I don't just like you for him and what you are as Alexiel. [Proto-Lilith and something or other.] I want to test you to test me. Every time you give me lines not to cross I want to find out every single other one you have. I want to etch the fabric of my soul all over yours so that even the other idiot-me can't do a damn thing about it. I want to draw experiences out of you that you always believed you couldn't have because fate, universe, father, angels, hell, heaven, no one let you. And I don't want to share that with other me at all. Just this me. And just you.

[Empathy? Nope. That's just him as he is. But obviously whenever he tries something she's not into, then all the fuck he wants to do is fling himself in the exact opposite direction because fuck that was both pointless and embarrassing.] You're like a clock that's put together all wrong. Instead of taking you apart though, I want to cram more things in and see what happens. [IT'S A PROBLEM.] I don't want to like you, and instead I love you, and I have no idea what to do with that, since I can't just string you up to my favorite ceiling spots, or let you rip my heart out. You say things no one should say, and that's just how it is, no changing it.

[BIG SHRUG!] Obviously nothing with the General is anything like this. He's a space-alien. He's gentle and kind and loves the youkai of Japan, and other spirits the humans lost sight of, but debates how to do his job, and you do have not that much in common. [Other than the same thing they all did. War, violence, fighting fate and entire species, but contradictory; wanting to also protect, love, cherish, guide, and be more than weapons.] But I'm sure you're used to that by now. And so am I.

[againstgod]

He'll chew them before that happens. [ her voice hardens, surviving her is routine. just because she wants to cause him pain, it doesn't mean someone else needs to intrude into it. Interpolers shouldn't pry. ]

I won't. [ her automatic counter was ready because she almost expected this reaction. it was a possibility. ] I am not saying this as a challenge to your pride, or to look down on your capacity to endure pain.

[this isn't about him, it's about her feelings.]

I don't think anyone can love everything I am like he does, and I can't love anyone in the way I love him. We have been doing this for eons. Since his fall. [ he's too late to try his curiosity or whatever it is. his speech about timing is tangential to this conversation. does he know how long is that? ] He's mine, and I am his. Even when we lost our memories, part of us remained like that.

[she pats the mark on the left side of her chest. the one he engraved above her heart.]

I have many problems with my Father.
Are you worried you'll miss your chance with this man and someone would snatch his heart?
Assuming your feelings are different from friendship.

[if he acts on them too early, this alien boy can be startled, and maybe lucifer doesn't feel that way, after all. but if he delays it...]

...You don't want to be perceived as a trophy for his accomplishments? Even if he never meant to make you feel that way.
Mm. You are too sensitive to everyone's perception of you.
But that's why we were having this conversation in the first place.

[why he's here to spill his feelings and sort out what is from others and which ones are his.

she sends him a silent pointed look at his speech about how wrong she is and how he wants to try things to change her. does he know the 'i can fix you' isn't the most attractive words to tell someone with buried existential shame?]

You love everything already, even if you don't want to. [he told her this. and she thinks that's beautiful, and feels that charitable kinship deep.] That makes you a better person than some...devils I know. But-
[even if she wasn't the true savior like setsuna, she's lived for the sake of others since the beginning, creation, rosiel, everything. that's why-

she heaves a sigh. ]
I wanted for once someone who loves only me.

[his generous heart beats for too many. she's not trying to catch his attention, nor is she trying to remove them from there. it's the opposite. she's encouraging him to love those people because they would accept his feelings being that way.

and he already feels distress and embarrassment from his failed attempts to approach her in certain ways. she mocked and taunted lucifel for thousands of years, calling his love a pointless waste of time with the cruelest of derisions. he'll be miserable, she can see it from the moment he stormed out of that demon bar for the softest rejections. he said it earlier. he's not a masochist, and that is a requisite to try to even brush her thorn-wrapped heart. ]

...
Are you planning to bring a gift to this potential date?

[it's a random topic change, but a necessary one. he can sort out his confusion and other feelings later. ] 

1/2

[fellfurthest]

Good. [He'd expect and accept nothing less.]

[He gets -- not even 1% of it, but enough to see a tiny tip of an iceberg and conceptualize the shape of 99% below and know its depths. It IS like him and Diavolo, after all. He hardly needs more pushing there, the real trick would be to help Diavolo instead of Lucifer's stonewalled emotional (in)capacity (of a potato.) After thousands of years, of course Diavolo knows him best.]

I know. [He does.] I didn't, but I do now. [Once she says it, he does get HER emotions, HER wants and needs and desires, and that was the empathy loop he couldn't pull apart from himself. She's too much a weird reflection of himself. Which adds in more bizarre questions about Diavolo and Lilith and if he tries, he gets a headache, so fuck it. ANOTHER DAY.]

[She doesn't want to be loved, but she can't stop him -- apparently any version of him, but this Lucifer hasn't spent millennia accepting rejection, and indeed, won't. He doesn't like rejection. Hates it so much he'd rather DO NOTHING. That waiting thing. It makes him sick of himself, and he understands why it makes Satan desire so hard to punch him in the face (or set up a million daily nuisances as they're the only things to really get through his shields.) He doesn't want to wait for anything ever. He wants to be action, go go go, even if it means someone else misses THEIR chance. And that's the problem. He's trying really hard to let everyone else have their chances so that when he does move, it's over.]

[It's not comfortable, but it is absolute.]

[As for jealousy with the General --]

[A small dark laugh.] No. He's too much like me for that. As you said -- like a cat. We like our space even if we have to torture others to get it.

No, I'm more worried... [A shrug. Why stop being open now???] Crossroads. It'll slip away. Especially if I'm trying to think in terms of eternity rather than the very moment.

[He's fine with friendship, he can always use real more friends. He just likes to take his chances and opportunities, not ignore them out of FEAR. He hates fear, it makes him want to seize whatever it is and dare them. Much like dumping the water on his own head, he won't leave a threat holding him back from what he feels like doing. Otherwise he can't handle Devildom whatsoever, much less grow its capacity. Besides, Alexiel herself said Lucifer was in need of cutting loose. And as Asmo said repeatedly, he needs a fucking date or at least to get laid.]

[He's quiet about Diavolo and perceptions.]

[Thinking a LONG time.]

[Finally:] I'm not worried anyone will see me as a trophy. [.... It makes him flush with pride. He WANTS it. He craves it like a burning hunger more than his sadism!] I want it. [Just admitting it.] But I want it to be an unreachable trophy that gets better every year until there's so many years of the trophy being the best, every year shinier, brighter, bigger, that it dwarfs out sight of everything else in the universe.

[... Which scares him. BUT AGAIN we kind of go back to Lucifer's reaction to fear is to challenge it. Fuck you fight me. His worst fear is 1) Father 2) himself as ring of Light trying to basically... be Father. And he doesn't want that, but only because he knows WHY he doesn't. Not for the fear, but because it's genuinely unenjoyable for him, and would require paths he wouldn't like even in the moment, OR long term. No win.]

[Eh Simeon knows.]

[It's true. He does love everything. Too fucking much. And he hates that he loves anything. And it's a weird feedback loop too. Because he can't love himself, but for how he can love the version of himself others love. And that's why his pride is so weird and tangible and overwhelming.]

[He's relieved when she says she wants someone who only loves her.]

[He gets it. He's not Lucifel in this. He's her.]

[Everything at completely different angles and disjointed, the names all off, the personalities flipped, like a dream script meant for someone else, but Lucifer decided to barrel in to see what it was about, and it all got confused because it was never meant for him. And he's used to that. Genuinely, he knows he's not the center of the universe, he's not even the center of his OWN universe, and even of his own perspective: he FORCIBLY drags his brothers to be the seven lords with him, because while he wants to be the best damn trophy there could ever be, surpassing even Father's imagination, he doesn't want everyone KNOWING the full truth of things sometimes or being weird, or limiting him, much less getting in his way.]

Yes.

[He can't help it. He leans into the three wings, but takes her hand too. He gets it even more. Lucifel doesn't love anything, he looks down on everyone, but not her, never her. And how could he not? It's too beautiful and fragile for Lucifer to put into words. But she knows.]

[He could never love one, just one. He loves EVERYONE differently. All seven of his brothers, even the former brothers of angels, Diavolo, Sheep-chan, Barbatos. And she doesn't want him to not love, but she genuinely needs someone who loves her despite all the rage and wars, and everything she hates and loves, instead of like Lucifer -- who is incapable of loving himself but through someone else.]

I don't... hate myself. But I don't like myself. Everyone, you, the General, Diavolo, Barbatos, my brothers keep yelling at me about self-care. I am... exceptionally poor at it. I don't like myself. [Grits teeth.] I do not think I will like myself if I am a better trophy. It is not that.

It is... with psychopaths; you must create and external conscience. A Jiminey Cricket voice of reason. Someone to say "just because you don't feel this, doesn't mean these aren't the consequences." Roman Emperors started this with memento mori's. To remind them they are mortal.

I don't like myself. [Growl. He hates it. He doesn't hate himself. Especially not after divorcing himself into two, but no. Brutally pushing himself further than Father did is the only way he can keep moving forward for himself, to set his own desires as an unreachable goal that ever grows, ever evolves, and ever demands more.] The General has a panda to remind him to go to bed. Saying that out loud.... Well. You get it. [She had to literally carry him to his bed and guard him like a baby.]

It isn't that... yes, I care about my reputation. [FUCKING DEEPLY.] It is the only way I can live with... myself. After everything.

[He pulls her into a protective hug. She neither wants it or needs it, but he does.] I'm not telling you for my sake. I've known these things a long time. [He's careful of the hair, but still, halfway sinks into the hug all the same.] It's because it's the only way I know how to learn, and I wouldn't want you to miss out, due to my reticence.

[He drops the hug and smiles. Genuinely, softly, happy.] You truly are my best cousin.

[Reflection of his light and darkness, the weirdness, the ISSUES, the drama, the everything. No wonder they bounced off each other worse than him and Satan. She practically was more like him than Satan. But as Lucifer would never be alone, even if he wanted to be, in Alexiel's case, she was alone through her own doing, through fate, all but for Lucifel finding her again no matter what hells he put himself through to chase her. It's reassuring, and weird, and parallels at all the wrong angles. Lucifer had nowhere to run but to Diavolo. Diavolo would never chase him, was incapable of finding him, and yet, at the worst times, when Lucifer DESPERATELY DID NOT WANT HIS EXUBERANT BOSS TO LAUGH IN THAT WEIRD GIDDY UP AND DOWN HICCUPING WAY -- there he'd always be. Everything at wrong angles, but the lines are the same signature. This is why Father needed sleep. No wonder she struck him as a clock put together all wrong.]

2/2 minor chapter 10-12 first game spoilers

[fellfurthest]

No.

That would definitely make it instantly formal and one. Just as I can't like myself, I have no idea how to take a day off without someone to try to -- [It's not a competition. Even Lucifer isn't that far gone. Just really fucking close to it.] mold the concept around.

[Eh. Maybe it's a competition. It's DEFINITELY a competition with himself. To make it better than the work days. To make it something treasured so that he wants to do it again. So that he DOES do it again. So that he learns why, how, and the WANT for it, even if he can't ever possibly accept it as something like a "need."]

[FATHER NEEDED a day off. LUCIFER doesn't want it ANYWAY. Take THAT. (But if he gets so strong he just ENJOYS his days off and does them IN SPITE of everything else, that's also very cool and acceptable and brilliant of him, okay okay.)]

[... No, he knows he's insane. Listen, it's just as Father needed pressure to stop, so does Lucifer, but he's not going to make it EASY on everyone to push him into the OBJECTIVELY FACTUALLY CORRECT COURSE. Because that wouldn't be fun.]

Besides, it's a zoo, they probably have a gift shop. And when Satan, Mammon, Sheep-chan and I went to the surface, human Earth to get the body-swap curse lifted, [He just... HE SAYS THIS SO BREEZILY LIKE DOESN'T EVERYONE HAVE TO DO THIS ONCE IN A BLUE MOON????] We got Harrison Porter keychains at the train station. You can only get them there in London. In any case, I'm thinking something like that.

[Fun fact: Lucifer used to keep ticket stubs of everything, every movie, play, book signing, amusement park etc. Simeon called him out on it because Lucifer pretended he didn't care for them anymore, but some things never fucking change. He has an impeccable memory, but he keeps it strong, because he utilizes every single technique, every single sense, every single learning style, everything and anything he can; because his deepest DEEPEST fear is losing even that, his memories, and he won't risk letting anything, fate, god, timelines, multiverse, ANYONE OR ANYTHING steal even that from him.]

1/2

[againstgod]

[ he's not incorrect because she's the one who saw the parallels herself earlier, and why she nudged him to be with diavolo. although it's not exactly consistent. lucifel is just as bad, if not worse than she is--he's just had one exception in the whole universe. he refused to give that up after he awoke his feelings. that man fell for her because he saw his own pathetic gaze reflected in her struggling eyes. while rosiel was her missing half, lucifel is her darkened reflection. they were too alike as god's favored playthings. with the difference that her heart loves all things equally (her brother aside) as the would-be-savior, while his was empty as the devil. like an unwitting puzzle that god had not meant to put together... it clicked and, rather than sworn nemesis as god intended them to be, they fell in love.

it's difficult for her to explain this, or her feelings, because she stayed silent about them so long that even speaking that aloud earlier was a struggle. she still hasn't told lucifel that she loves him. setsuna did for her, that boy was the first one who called them out for their masochistic waltz. at the end of all things, she called him a fool while she embraced him as a spirit. she can tell other people her feelings for him, but when she's facing him, she thinks she can't make things easy for him, at all.

no, she had to make him wait. ]

That's good. I know you... and your brothers share...that sheep's attention. And you can share Diavolo with his kingdom. So perhaps you are used to this more than I am, but I-

[she doesn't know how it can happen. she admires it a little, they can come up with such a harmonious arrangement that's natural. her experience is the opposite of that. she makes a long pause as if she's struggling with whether she should elaborate or not.]

The angel who claimed to be my best friend cursed me to suffer specificially a doomed love with every life because he thought I loved another.

[he was right, even if she lied who she loved. she looks at him as she shrugs. setsuna forgave him, and he helped her messiah, so it's water under thebridge from her perspective.
(uriel's still eternally friendzoned). ]

When I was sealed and powerless, I used to awake to a sea of corpses. My brother was so jealous that he even slaughtered any animal I would pet or show affection for.

[she makes a self-deprecating smile and reaches ou to pinch his nose.] I'm not telling this for you to pity me. [there's a warning there. she knows she's pathetic, but she will dislike any sad looks thrown at her.] Simply to understand some of my reticence with affection in general.

[ his admission about the general is cute. he'll hate to be called like that, but it is. ]

There's always a risk in everything in life.
The risks increase when you grow to care for them even more. That's their value.

[she might have to agree with his brother there. or kill someone. give into a murderous urge here, and there is something she would do instead.]

Oh? You want to be fought for? Or just Diavolo?

[she is smirking so slyly.]

Do you want him to want you more than his dreams and his kingdom?

[... leaving his fears aside, she is digging into his fantasy. it's good to admit them, his pure needs that have nothing to do with diavolo's or his brother's.

she also gets that. maybe that's why she makes it hard for lucifel? originally, it was because she couldn't speak her feelings, and didn't recognize them, and then she felt guilt over rosiel, but what about now? nothing stops her, but she wants...wants to feel him fighting for her even against her. she's a mess. but it's reaffirming, even she can be loved.]

You want someone like that, too.

[she whispers softly in realization. how pathetic. both of them. makes her want to laugh.]

oops got called now i am back

[againstgod]

...

[ she senses him leaning on her wings, and she folds them instinctively around him, like a shield, from all angles. luminescent feathers cascade down and disappear before they touch the ground. ]

You are supposed to look after yourself better.

[her voice is scolding him, and her hand is squeezing his. she doesn't need to sleep like this, but she needs other reminders. she opens her mouth to snide at the idea he's a psychopath. he can be many things, but he's not-

she frowns and knows the direction of this conversation. something she doesn't want to bring up to sour their chats. she doesn't like herself, and she wants her reputation as the worst, so that her brother could shine like he was supposed to. the most beautiful and beloved, the lord of heaven, she is fine to be unloved, and evil, and the worst that stays in the shadows. she cannot make a sound, even when he surprisingly hugs her. her throat is parched, and she looks paralyzed, as if he has taken the breath out of her lungs. she doesn't know how to deal with affection very well. to give it to others is easier than accepting it.

she does return the gesture. slowly, her stiff arms encircle his body, and she looks up, still slightly shaken, but stubbornly holding her composure. she's not very open to being emotional. rosiel was the soft one there; she had to be the complete opposite with her stoicness.]

You need to start giving me a warning.
[her voice is raspy, while her gaze is flitting around; if he's accidentally brushing her hair, she'll look flustered and mortified after she shudders. his hands are safe. only this time.]
I could mistake this for an attack.

[she straightens and crosses her arms once she's released]

I'm only the cousin you have met.
I've only wanted to show you- [mm. how would setsuna call this?] "my cool side." But it seems my effort was wasted.

[ she groans about that. it's annoying that he caught her off guard. ]

I don't dislike spending time with you, Morningstar.
Especially if it means you'll get some well-deserved sleep out of it.

[she needs a moment to regain her full composture, but she still listens to his chatter about his friendly date, and the procedures.]

Next time you go with him somewhere-
Give him a token from your world. Simple and unique. Even friends exchange presents.

[so she knows through reincarnation experiences. and they definitely don't curse the other to a doomed love life out of jilted feelings. maybe she does need better friends.]

What is your favorite place to go in your spare time? Among the ones you're not forced to go by the concerned parties.

o/ 1/2

[fellfurthest]

I am so poor at sharing the sheep's attention I refuse to vie for it at all, Angel. [He KNOWS okay. And it's the only kindness he can figure out how to give all of them including himself. He trusted Mammon with them, he still does. He will trust them with Mammon no matter how many times he fucks up, because Mammon is resilient, and every setback he keeps trying to do better. He's not going to admit that no matter how drunk he gets though!]

And... I genuinely try not to share Diavolo with his kingdom. That's part of the problem.

[A small growl.] Which one? Couldn't be Raphael. [Even with the inside out angles, Raphael was too sweetheart. To be that yandere, Lucifer's first thought is Belphegor, but he's not even sure the other 6 are in her universe at all, even though they all used to be angels. Weird thought.]

I know Alexiel. [He would rather be brutally stabbed Belphie style of imitating every imp in every version of Hell EVER (think Blitz0 on an assassination trip) than be pitied. He still tightens the hug of love.] It's just empathy. I can't help it. And only through you, can I respect that it's something I could draw a line of my own on, understood?

[He blushes SO MUCH when she calls out that he wants Diavolo to FIGHT FOR HIM.]

[Yes x infinity but also--]

cw: mild demon vore (fears) chat it's fiiiiiine 2/2

[fellfurthest]

[A hard laugh and a headshake.]

No. I'd lose all respect for him in an instant and then kick his ass back into shape if he did that. The opposite. I want him to put his actions where his mouth always is. If he wants me, he has to go further than maintaining equilibrium. He has to do something to make me forget all about the past to make me hunger for the future that I can only see through his eyes. [.... Oops. That was a bit more honest than he wanted to admit, but yes. They are all the kinds of fucked up and crazy. Cruel angels etc.]

[A head tilt. SINCE HE IS ON THE TOPIC.] Plus, sometimes I feel like he's going to completely devour me in one dragon bite. His father is half dragon -- part of why Devildom loves Prince Diavolo so much. He's got these glowing golden eyes, he likes to moonbathe, and the way they light up when he looks at me isn't like a dragon with treasure or gold, it's a lot closer to Beelz with hamburgers. It used to unnerve me a lot more before I fell and then right after. But sometimes even now. Especially knowing how demons view souls. But it means I definitely won't let myself be small enough to get absorbed. Plus I know how he got Barbatos to work for him, and no matter where I am in Devildom, no matter what I try to do to stay hidden or inconspicuous, if I'm in a butler outfit or high heels or roller skates, he fucking finds me and he has this maddening loud hiccuping guffaw uuuuuuugh. [He loves him, but also he wants to SHAKE HIM IN HIS TEETH LIKE A DOG WITH A CHEW TOY.]

[Or that time with Cerberus and Mammon. Whatever. Same thing.] And he practically sparkles and every damn time I think, "there's no way this fucking idiot can be the same one who beats me at chess!" [GRRRRRRRRRR. Also his brothers would all be hyperventilating and having so many heart attacks to hear this from Lucifer who is nothing but 24/7 respectful and trying to enforce making his brothers respect Diavolo especially.]

[He still hugs his cousin. Best cousin, only cousin.]

If I warned you better you wouldn't be strong enough to handle his sneak attacks. [Diavolo is the SAME DAMN WAY LIKE HE JUST SAID.]

You're very very cool. [He means it. Genuinely.] You're the only one to ever intimidate me into getting flustered and tripping over myself. Not even Mr. 1/4th dragon wears a dress, and surrounded like a Disney princess with fawns and dogs and birds has ever once done that to me. I was really losing my confidence a bit. I'll only allow it because it's you.

Okay. [Getting the General something from home.] We've been exchanging videos back and forth. Ah, I think I said that. I'm not sure something from Devildom wouldn't be horribly cursed.... [He'll have to get help finding something good.]

Eh... music? Theater. Plays or film. Either/or. [SLOWLY AND SUSPICIOUSLY:] Whhhhhhyyyyy?

[againstgod]

Are you sure about that?

[she sounds only a teensy skeptical when he had told her he wanted to etch the fabric of his soul on hers a moment ago, and he knew of lucifel. wouldn't his human be even more beloved?

unless his love for his brothers...stops him from being competitive?]

I hope you never have to.

[really, that could get ugly for them. although doubtlessly lucifer will respect diavolo's wishes.] 

No. [no raphael. the healer and cynical womanizer. she eyes him.]  I won't say his name because I have a feeling you'll hurt him if you see him around.

[if she wanted to punish him, she'd have done it. uriel actually begged setsuna, on his knees, to kill him. but her messiah forgave him, and she would honor that kindness.

she's relatively well-adjusted, all things considered.]

Your cheeks are red.

[he's blushing, and she'll quickly point it out so he won't try to deny it. he's so easily flustered that he must have the heart of a smitten maiden.

his reasoning also makes sense, and she looks interested when he brings up the dragon blood. ]

Oh? A dragonkin? Like the royalty of Gehenna. [the top layer of hell, the so-called evils she safeguarded during her war. the little princess she saved has dragon blood too.] Be honest, do you want him to bite you?

[consuming is out of question, but a good relatively harmless chewing?]

I think you need to stop being hung up on that chess loss if you want to progress your relationship someday.

[....she doesn't think he'll have a chance to perform that infamous sneak attack. she pats him while he's still hugging her, feeling slightly overwhelmed with all his open affection. pain is something she's so used to that she's numb, but gentleness is the opposite. she doesn't know what to do in response. ]

With that compliment, I think I'll move you up a spot in the Lucifer ranking. [congratulations?] Can't you remove the curses? Or let me do it.

[....reluctantly offers. she can purify most things; the only exception is her brother's perpetual decay. ]

Don't give me that look. [she shakes her head, voice slightly huffing. she's trying to help.] Next time, take someone with you. Don't go alone.

[fellfurthest]

Very.

[Lucifer loves Alexiel differently from the sheep, who is squishy and calming. Alexiel is neither. She riles him up and makes him want to prove himself and fight... something. God. Fate. Universe. Love even. To prove to her she does deserve better than the shitty hand she is way too relaxed about playing with. Especially since until a few minutes ago, he had no idea she was more like him than Lilith, and her Lucifel wasn't like him nearly at all - sans words to describe them with.]

[A quiet snort.] I've been told "Lucifer is King of Hell" is a near unilateral multiversal constant. Inescapable. But the idea of Diavolo deciding to -- [He shakes his head.] It is not something I want or fear. Fight for me? Yes. Definitely. [Ugh. He wants it so so much he can taste it. It's so fucking embarrassing.] But that's nearly the only part of Barbatos' job I'd trade off on. The political functions are the worst. If I could just be that shiny aloof trophy, it'd be fine. But instead, it's listening to aristocrats and having to either withold my temper, or come up with something so far above everyone's head that there's no point in saying it anyway except for myself. If it's clever enough, Lord Diavolo might get it, but the worst part still is having to work the room to cover the places he is not. Barbatos, as his butler, gets to blend in. And remind Lord Diavolo he can't leave his own parties. If Lord Diavolo wants to change it, he has to decide that. I won't even let him use me as a reason, that's the risk he has to take, should he so choose. [HAUGHTY.] And no, I won't be disappointed if he doesn't either. He just won't have me in that way. I value myself more highly than to waste it on them.

Tch. And I think that's part of why he'd all but kill to make me his butler. Because he could have his utterly ridiculous fairy tale world. But I will never, ever, ever be that easy. He can keep the balance, or change the equation. But I won't ever be a caged raven for him, and he wouldn't want it, just as I'd never allow him to give up on his dream.

[Lucifer TRIES to smile innocently, but it's not even a wolf in wool, so much as a scary angry wolf dad that yells at the puppy to go the fuck to sleep, and... yeah no. No.] You got that right. [He will never knooooow. Unless he thinks incel. But he keeps forgetting her angels are weird like that, and had any degreee of capacity for that, so no, he will never know....]

[No comments on him being red. But to Gehenna royalty also being dragon blood, he huffs:] Well, we are the top layer of Hell...

[And then chokes on her question. Fuck. The punishment/price for asking one question: how to differentiate dates -- oh and for hitting on her, which given the other angel, no wonder she knew to shut him down every time, but--]

[Where was he?]

[*%gcifxudxuflhkg]
[Is it possible for him to answer without addressing it at all....? No?]
[Aw fuck.] Without losing myself... [The normally deepest bass voice of all the brothers and most of Devildom slides up about 3 octaves, semi squeaky and Mammon's pitch:] Yes???

[Help. He's going to be eaten by a dragon-demon king. And not hate it as much as he should.]

[Especially if it's actually harmless, just kind of gentle and warm and--]

[He hates how he can't stop his brain from going everywhere it's led.]

He's also huge. And he has these big pecs and the bright red hair. [He's not... He's not trying to hype Diavolo up, or sell her on him. Okay. But he pulls out his DDD and goes through a waaaaaaaay smaller selection of pictures than Diavolo has in his literal Lucifer folder.] Damn dragon. Easily the biggest demon lineage in Devildom. And I told you sitting on your lap I realized how nothing fazes him? That he's more confident in his gender than me? [He flips over to his ongoing chats with his boss, unworried, it's not sacred, but just shows her how Diavolo cheerfully uses the dress sticker of himself.] What am I even supposed to do with that????

The General is also really tall. And has fangs and gold eyes. I just know my brothers are going to give me hell about my type. [He doesn't even care, he's even a little giddy as he shows her a picture of the General too.] I guess I didn't tell you.

Simeon wrote the play Princess Diavolo and Prince Lucifer. [Flips over to the script he saved. Of course he did. And then back to the General's avoidance of books on tapes so he doesn't have nightmares about rival princesses stealing his imperalist love interest....]

[Just....]

[.... yeah.]

You asked if I have to be the one courting and in control. Not at all. [He thinks really hard, because he might say that, but wouldn't he just... parry all attempts to hit on him anyway??????]

[......] Though as I said before, this isn't something that occurs often. Or ever.

I think I'd be fine letting someone else take the lead, but I suppose saying it is different? It is easier for me to think of reasons I would not allow that. [Huff. Armfold. Think think think.] If they would be happier, and knew more than me... okay, that isn't possible, but if it was on something where they know what they want more. I would even facilitate ways they could achieve it. It would be fun.

[Come to think, Golden Hellfire Newt Syrup would work in Diavolo's favor too, since he is half human. But where everyone knew about his dragon blood, the half human was more secret, so it's Diavolo's place to tell Alexiel if the prince so chose.]

[Where was he? Curses.]

I can... but...

[If it's trapped spirits he doesn't like to rush them, nor would he send it as an item, especially not to the very empathetic kind alien who sees spirits naturally anyway. And--] Depending on the item, it's so much part of it you really shouldn't just dispel them. They lose value and identity that way.

[He's so fucking weird.]

Ah, you want to come with me?

[Places a finger on her lips.] Kidding. I know what you meant. I never do go alone. Simeon has always loved theater and film, of course, but I'll bring anyone but Mammon, unless it's horror movies then we watch at home. [Mammon hates horror. They all love to torture him. Everyone drags Mammon to horror in House of Lamentation. The end.]

I don't know how long the General can leave his post, but maybe I can set up an extended time bend, or security sharing, or just watch something there.

You are going to come trinket hunting with me, however. It's been ages since I've done anything like that, and I can't drag Levi into public just for this. This is why he gets everything on Akuzon.

[Ugh it's gross~ Even just talking and thinking about it puts him in SUCH a good mood.]

Did you have anything like that?

cw: casual...suicide mention

[againstgod]

[from her viewpoint, it's over. she considers herself retired to give space for those who learned the ugly truth rebuild everything into something more beautiful. she might just tear it down again if she goes back now. maybe it would take millennia until she returns to hope to find not a stone in place she'll recognize from the old times.

-and setsuna, she wishes him a happy life with sara.]

I wonder about that. [she taps her chin, thinking.] Lucifel left Hell after it stabilized. [hell was his original body, she talked about this in the past, merging with the abyss below.] I don't think he had a chance to rule it. He came to free me then, hiding from everyone and leaving his disappearance a mystery. [she slightly frowns. the idiot. his formal rebellion was scripted, but that action was against god's plan for real.] I don't think most demons knew he was gone, but assumed the transformation made him silent and could only speak to his right hand, the Satan of Pride. [she glances at his direction. officially, it was all done on his orders. speaking about that-] Those brides I told you about, it wasn't actually his idea. He was long gone at this point.

[her mouth tugs into a pitiless smirk. she taunted him with them because he looked so embarrassed at the ludicrous number.]

This means you don't necessarily need to rule Hell or the Devildom, but there could be a time when others will believe you do, if it ever happens.

[she says this for his benefit. he shouldn't overthink..]

I don't think you need to worry about performing political lipservice. Can't you just tell the nobility they are failures who should kill themselves?
That seems to work for Lucifel when he amassed that army. [angels and demons either do as he said and commit suicide, or don't, but fawn at him for saying it. unbeliavable.]

[she knows that smile. there's nothing innocent about it. she sends him the flattest look.] He already punished himself. [she shrugs. self-exiled, self-mutiliation, but in doing so, heaven lost the leader of its justice system, who was, one exceptional case aside, fair. that deepened the corruption. looking at the four archangels who were supposed to follow her as the savior, only gabriel was pulling her weight, trying to fight to reform the political system.] And helped Setsuna to atone. Let it go. This served my plans in the end.

[his actions were his own, but she had anticipated something like that would happen during her judgement.]

I know that. But the similitudes do amuse me. I want him to meet Kurai someday.

[she needs to grow into a wise queen, and maybe he can be a good role model. she doesn't say anything to that preamble, nodding only to encourage him in a 'do-continue-way.']

I thought so. [she lifts her hand and ghosts two fingers over his throat. the same spot where he warned he wanted to bite her during their first meeting.] Here right? Or somewhere else?

[she looks very satisfied with his high pitch. who knew his voice could have that range? she glances at his photo collection.] 

Oh that, it must have been disappointing that my arms weren't big enough to hold you. [she points with a lazy smirk. she has some muscle and the hands of a warrior, but diavolo's build is larger.

she's aware he probably means diavolo is secure with his masculinity and being on a woman's lap, or dressing like a princess wouldn't faze him. she just wants to break his composure a little more.]

Mm.
Next time I see a tall guy with fangs and gold eyes in the crossroads, I'll ask his name for you. [she gives a polite glance at this general picture as she brings this up.]

No, you didn't. [she understands why he kept it under wraps.] Would you prefer to be the Princess in the sequel?

[a dead serious question. or is he insecure about the gender presentation?]

Mm. So you have realized there's an advantage.

[ now this diavolo should try to invite him. she doesn't know how aware he is of lucifer's obvious crush. even political astute creatures can be oblivious in their private life.]

And those apples you like?[her nose wrinkles when she mentions fruit. she'll get over it.] Give him one of those and warn him it's poisonous.  [as a collectile item. or that wine... demonus bottle?]

...

[she is quickly silenced before she can say anything. it unfortunately makes sense that he can't invite this general for those logical reasons. but diavolo-]

Shopping? [she lifts both brows. she's not saying no, but what can she do?]

Morningstar, I neither have a job nor currency. [alexiel's probably wearing the same change of clothes when they met. she can keep everything from getting dirty or ragged if she chooses to.] Is this about your souvenir for that man? All right.

[if he needs a second opinion, she'll go.]

1/3 because emotional yoyo lol

[fellfurthest]

[He listens quietly, quirking a smile when she mentions the 999 brides. What the fuck still. But just outright laughs, losing all his pretenses of stoicism when she suggests he tell the nobles to kill themselves.]

That right there is exactly what I mean. [He might be cry-laughing, he doesn't even know. He said she says things no one should say, and he meant it.] If I actually was ruler of Hell, I might. [PROBABLY NOT, however bad the temptation got. It is definitely terrifying that the royalty might just PRAISE HIM for it though, they're all insane. Well, at least Mephistopheles wouldn't, but STILL. And Diavolo would smack him (deservedly).]

Yes, they should meet, they probably are like us, with the weird tilted angles and all.

[He flushes and nods. He warned her of his temptation, and yup, she remembered! And then he definitely cry-laughs a little at himself and how his type is just... Lord Diavolo. Like Sheep-chan and Satan said. Damn Satan. Literally.]

Thank you. [About collecting names of men his type. The worst part? He means it.]