parrygripp ([personal profile] parrygripp) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2026-01-21 05:11 pm

listen to your heart 😌

"Can You Handle Your Emotions?"
Emotions are... eh. We all have them, whether we want to or not. Some people have control over their emotions, and some people let their emotions control them. Where does your character fall on this spectrum? More importantly, what's their relationship with their emotions like? Do they bury everything deep, deep down inside, or are they the first one to cry over a sappy movie? Do they even know how they feel about what's going on inside? Pretty meta stuff.
  • No blank top-levels.
  • Instead, characters are to respond to the proposed question: can you handle your emotions? / are you in touch with your feelings?
  • Get deep. Look within. Hear, think feel... or don't.
againstgod: (→ Merit a thought)

[personal profile] againstgod 2026-01-30 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
What else do they do? [his favorites apples are poisonous, she has to ask the difference between those and the ones humans grow.] Are they safe for you to give him some to plant in his home?
Not must, just that I want you to.

Human bias. [ she corrects with a shrug.] I never met the pair in the shadow replica of God's garden. They had already passed when I visited Assiah.

[she does agree with him. that contradiction is difficult to handle. wordlessly, she reaches to touch his arm; a mere brush to offer silent comfort as he struggles to reconcile that. then, she retracts her hand to speak.]

The citizens of Devilmdom seem happy, from what I've observed in my brief visit.
Sometimes, being a 'home' is good enough. There's no need for a greater purpose.
fellfurthest: (exasperated)

[personal profile] fellfurthest 2026-01-30 05:36 am (UTC)(link)
Hell no.

Every single flower variant in all of Hell runs a risk of doing something freaky and disturbing. And that's not even counting the effects it has on humans which we're only BARELY beginning to understand. Uncontrollable laughter for 500 years, way too many weird aphrodisiac drug plants, all sorts of weird poisons. I can't even just tell what will be dangerous until we try, because he's not human, he's something else entirely.

[A small tight smile.] Thank you, Alexiel. [It helps. A lot.]
againstgod: (→ A hidden smile)

[personal profile] againstgod 2026-01-30 07:22 am (UTC)(link)
Mm. But consider all those hypothetical catastrophes and the environmental hazards drawbacks can be balanced by the impact of that romantic gesture.

[she's mostly jesting. what a pity.]

fellfurthest: (lol it's nothing)

[personal profile] fellfurthest 2026-01-30 08:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ads;lasjkdalkjds:ASLKJd]

[He loves this, but that's HIS JOKES TO MAKE GOSH!]


Oi oi...

[PFFFFT. He can't help laughing.] I told him I would take him to see them, but not to go alone. Or with my brothers.
againstgod: (→ Merit a thought)

[personal profile] againstgod 2026-01-31 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
Hah.
Is that a subtle request to keep an eye on them again while you entertain your guest?
fellfurthest: blushing, arms folded, head turned, midly uncomfortable (please stop effusing praise)

[personal profile] fellfurthest 2026-01-31 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
[Blushes.]

[Nods.]


It wasn't. But now that you mention it, I'd appreciate it. Though if they were really as docile as you say, maybe it's unnecessary?
againstgod: (→ I won't heed your warnings)

[personal profile] againstgod 2026-01-31 02:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh? Would you like to gamble your evening?

[he can test waters and find out.]
fellfurthest: (bunny butler chu)

[personal profile] fellfurthest 2026-01-31 04:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Nope! Thank you very much cousin! I'm in your debt!

[...............] Why the fuck did I sound like Mammon there?
againstgod: (→ A hidden smile)

[personal profile] againstgod 2026-02-01 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
Mm.
Natural behavior toward an elder.
fellfurthest: angry pouncing the phone in Satan's hands (GIVE ME THAT!)

[personal profile] fellfurthest 2026-02-01 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
You are not! Stop that!
againstgod: (Default)

[personal profile] againstgod 2026-02-01 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
Too late- [she laughs and reaches out to ruffle his hair. she has to tiptoe because why he's so tall.] Little Cousin.
fellfurthest: (rage volcano explode)

[personal profile] fellfurthest 2026-02-01 08:38 pm (UTC)(link)
No! I will bite your hand. You can claim to be the oldest of yours, but I'm still the oldest here.
againstgod: (→ A hidden smile)

[personal profile] againstgod 2026-02-01 09:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Hah. Why are you always itching to sink your teeth into something?
fellfurthest: (thinking)

[personal profile] fellfurthest 2026-02-01 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's a good question. Good enough he pauses. Because WHY IS THAT THOUGH?]

I don't know. I've wound up as a vampire twice, werewolf twice, even as a bat I want to. Maybe it's some sort of affection aggression? Even as a unicorn I wanted to bite everyone and everything. And kick. And stomp on feet. [MORE as a unicorn. To assert DOMINANCE. Also kick everyone's face. INTERESTINGLY; not so as a bunny butler. WHY IS THAT THOUGH?!!?!? ... attention? PREY ANIMAL FEAR?! Does the literal ACT of putting bunny ears and a tail on him turn him more docile?! What the fuck is wrong with him? Or maybe it's attention? No but then why in the unicorn hoodie? FUCK.]

I think I also don't want to string you up like I do to Mammon and Levi. [Yeah! That!!! It must be, right? Because he SERIOUSLY wanted to string everyone up, but couldn't so the biting was just the next best thing. And since he doesn't want to bite Mammon and Levi, but DOES want to string them up...]

I will tweak my system.

Although.... I kind of want to tie up the General.

[LUCIFER SNAP OUT OF IT!]

[Nope he's gone in a fantasy.]

[....]
What was I saying?

Can I re-read a psych textbook and get back to you on that?

[Literally writes a note on his hand: no biting. Look up psych]
againstgod: (→ No telling lies)

[personal profile] againstgod 2026-02-01 09:57 pm (UTC)(link)
[ she hasn't expected this sudden self-analysis. she has expected a remnant of gluttony from his yuonger brother to give him those urges, but-

her expression sharpens.]


No restraints. [good he doesn't have that itch with her. he has a boyfriend and brothers to work his bondage fetish. think of the paperwork she'll burn with his house. after he finishes, she moves her hand from trying to pat his head to cover his mouth.]

Listen to this, I will say once. [no interruptions. teeth safely tucked inside.] I don't care if you bite me or not, but if you taste either my flesh or blood, it could be dangerous for you.

[that's why she's threatened to knock his teeth in the past. she doesn't care about the pain.]

Do you know what the forbidden fruit is made of?

[she pulls her hand away.]
fellfurthest: (incoming migraine)

[personal profile] fellfurthest 2026-02-01 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Wouldn't dream of it with you. [Genuinely 100%, he never ever wanted to. She wants her wings spread and to go flying. He might be too terrified of it still, but would never want her to hold back on his account.]

[Maybe why he wants to tie up his brothers and the General. They keep getting into too much trouble for him to fight to protect them from. On the other hand, Alexiel both 1) can get out of the restraints, and 2) can handle more trouble than Lucifer. So the urge is never there.]


The golden apple of immortality? Yes. Aside from the Greek reference of Hesperides, and the Wukong reference of golden peaches, and the MEs-tree in Sumerian [....... Why the fuck is he bothering with this with Alexiel? Sorry, he doesn't know either. He's in that ADHD over-explain NERVOUS ENERGY mode] -- it's a tool father has to allow someone to reach other dimensions and powers than otherwise. To bypass their restrictions. But obviously, if you can't handle it, you might as well explode. A whole nuclear fusion combustion thing but on your DNA.

[...... SIGH.]

[STEELING HIMSELF.]

[Okay. Let's go.]
I assume you're going to say it's you? [RUBS HIS EYEBROW. Whry. What is WRONG with Father in her timeline? Everything. Maybe not everything-everything but definitely everything.] Or I guess your twin because -- [Decay? Or something.]
againstgod: (→ Agape)

cw: cannibalism, body horror onwards may be mentioned lol typical angel sanctuary things

[personal profile] againstgod 2026-02-01 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Mm. [ alexiel observes he's tensed, as if he's bracing himself. she crouches down on the cold, hard ground, patting the spot beside her. he can still choose to stand, but she thinks it's better to explain this when they are relaxed.

he can rest his head on her too if he feels weariness.]


Sit with me. [ she coaxes him with a gesture. ] What I will tell you, must remain between us.

[she doesn't say he's wrong, nor confirms he's right. the truth is a little of both.]

I will tell you how things were made. You will understand then, why feasting from me is both a blessing and a curse.

[.......there's a certain indifference in her voice as she says that, as if she doesn't find it weird. no, some are lured to the irresistible scent she usually suppresses. what her brother purposely uses, knowing how addictive it can be, how nobody could truly deny or escape once tasted. fruits are flesh, and flesh are fruits. it's all linked together. ]

In the beginning, there was God, our Father. Alone before all things. And then he made something.
Not something-Everything.
And everything was a being that embodied all this: An angel that was the blueprint of all things to come, all that will be.

[her eyes look up, to the ceiling if there'sa roof, or the sky if there's none.]

Their name was the Adam Kadmon.
fellfurthest: (listening)

[personal profile] fellfurthest 2026-02-01 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[Sits.]

[Offers her his gloved hand. He might need it. Who knows.]

[Slowly he nods.]

[Right, keeping in line with the MEs-fruits of Sumerian, blueprints of greater things and truths, and the Kabbalah.]

[Truth in everything, nothing has 100% of it, only by comparing and getting rid of the refuse. Which wasn't so much refuse in Alexiel's case as just... Lucifer doesn't want that world. Alexiel kind of doesn't, and she only exists in it that they know of so far.]


I follow. [Oh wait, maybe that's not enough. Plus, to save time and energy for them both--]

He was a primordial blueprint in the Kabbalah - certain Jewish teachings, which works with you being primordial Lilith. Correct?
againstgod: (→ Melancholy)

[personal profile] againstgod 2026-02-01 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Humans glimpsed some of the truth, but assumed the Adam Kadmon was human. [ alexiel agrees to a degree. she takes his hand and presses it between both of hers, not answering anything yet. ]

Before the process continued, YHWH became wary of Creation.
The Adam Kadmon had something he did not understand, that could oppose his carefully set fate.
They had love. As gentle and docile as they were, He couldn't trust them from objecting to their plans on behalf of the future-born offsprings. Creation itself can oppose its Creator.
His solution was to sever the Kadmon's body to diminish their great power.

[ she starts to spread his fingers, if he allows it, to count with them. ]

A tooth here. A pinky there. All seeds from trees that would birth demons and humans.
Angels were grown from the Kadmon's plucked left eye, at the shadow of God's Tower.
All angels are siblings, yes, but also all humans and the demonic kind are.

[ the hypocrisy of incest setsuna and sara faced through their romantic tribulations, was inane when everyone is related. ]

The fruits growing from those trees were embryos of souls and bodies of those species yet to develop.
The fragrant peel of flesh on it was still the Adam Kadmon's own.
What is more alluring than the taste of the first dew before the stars spun?

[ she pauses there. so he can understand. why would those fruits be forbidden? they are made of people-to-be still encased on a mythological placenta.

where does this link to her? her gaze drifts back away from above to his face. ]


Even after all this, losing an eye, a finger, and a tooth, that still wasn't enough.
The Adam Kadmon was still a risk in God's eyes-
Didn't I tell you? All other angels are genderless until they mature and become either sex or stun that process, but Rosiel and I were always male and always female.
Wouldn't a being who is everything be both simultaneously?

[ she stops there. he should understand what her father did. he went through something similar. but rather than separate a part of the holy creature, he split it away from its dual existence.

the fruit, and their bodies, are the adam kadmon's flesh. ]
Edited 2026-02-01 23:57 (UTC)
fellfurthest: (Lucifer's star is twinkling)

cw: idfk speculative scifi/fantasy/theology insanity

[personal profile] fellfurthest 2026-02-02 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
[Holding his hand helps. Normally he gets nervous, but eh this is fine.]

[Because at least he has has his pride to maintain cool, and if she's got it in hers, she'll know how much he's freaking out, but he can maintain some facade, and that still counts!]

[He almost objects and remembers... not his fucking universe. Continue. And yes, lets her spread his fingers of course. He is baby, teach him senpai.]

[He thinks quietly. Truth in everything. Shinto with Tsukuyo and his disgust at the process of food. Lucifer and apples.]

[He can go into the LITERAL CHEMICAL MAKEUP OF APPLES.]

[He can list the exact toxic degrees in the Devildom apples.]

[But it's all turtles the whole way down.]

[Truth in everything.]

[He still comes back to his Father. vs. Her Father.]

[Assuming Adam Kadmon was real, though obviously not the Adam that was in Eden...]

[Ugh his head hurts again.]

[Not in HIS version of Eden. Great.]

[Then why the evolution?]

[The process of evolution. The problems of it. Even the ME's-fruits were supposed to be "Cheat codes" to dealing with it.]

[There ARE cheat codes to the universe. All magic just sort of simplifies the non-magic processes.]

[And?]

[Alexiel is almost as tomboyish as Asmo is "girly." -- Depending on whose definitions of gender they use.]

[What does it mean? What is the point? WHY is it like this? Who is her Father, the fake god?]

[So Adam Kadmon had to come from somewhere else, as a God. A being that gave his own life as sacrifice to make new life.]

[Also why.]

[Well, maybe that doesn't matter.]

[Then her Father came along, divided the love and probably testes? Sounds right. Humans have X/Y chromosomes, so her brother is Y, she is X.]


You know komodo dragons are actually dragons, just without wings. They also can do parthenogenesis. I forgot if I mentioned that's how Satan became his own person.

[This is not a non sequitur he just has 80000000 thoughts and none of them conducive, but he's--] I've been thinking about that a lot. Since you kept pointing out how I like dragons and Diavolo. [Just.... Facepalms with the other hand. Don't mind him. There's a point to this.]

I keep thinking what makes someone God? I don't mean Father, I mean God-God. Creator of the cosmos. It's not enough to just create, obviously, and killing is even dumber, any idiot can -- no offense. [EVIL GRIN, and he'll let her smack him for it, though she might even agree with him.] But it's loving something so much you'll take care of it too. I think.

Do you think your Father just was another like Adam Kadmon and just started taking advantage of things?

Is there another realm like ours where all the gods of different universes are from and they're all replaying out their own drama in our lives? Or is it more like a kaleidoscope like my Father told me? That there's truth in everything, but nothing is 100% the whole story, because even from my perspective, I can only know what I know, not someone else's. Is there an actual true full story that knows why all these other weird pieces are fragmented?

[Rests his head on her shoulder after all. Why does he want to cry? Weird. It's not even anything emotionally dramatic or painful. Right?]

[Is it?]

[Just migraine inducing.]

I still don't want Earth...

[He doesn't know why he's saying that. It's true, but it feels significant.]


If someone loved Earth more than Father, then should they have it? What if they don't want it? What if no one wants it except someone who's stuck there?

[Oh. That's why he wanted to cry. Okay.] Then they're just doomed to be stuck there because -- [He can't finish. She gets it. Probably.] Is Father the Creator of everything in the universe? What about other universes? Does he just delegate voices to talk for him to operate like him, and then they fuck it up? Was that what Lilith did?

[UGH.] Sorry. [Why is he apologizing?]

[Hasn't Alexiel made it clear that she can handle his WEIRD DARK SPIRALS?! And accidentally nudges a lot of them, but it's good. It's progress. And fuck he is so tired of not moving anywhere.]


Do you think humans are important to Father because they're based on his original people, like this Kadmon guy? Or is potential, or is it...

I'm not jealous of humans. [Thinks.] Yeah. I'm just not. I just didn't think, and I still don't, that someone as loved as Lilith should be destroyed for doing something incredibly stupid. I don't hold a grudge against Adam, even if I don't know if he asked her to do something stupid or what. I don't even know how much Father wanted me to Fall or to give us both a way out or [Growls and glares up at the stars.] any of it.

[Flops on his back on the ground. Fuck it.]

I can't figure out the truths from yours. It's like looking in a crazy inverse image. Other people have said Father is just pure love and I had to correct that, but then it's like "fuck do I know?" at this point.

Do you think it's like... human photocopiers? Or I don't know what was Setsuna's time again? Google translate has a meme. The more times it goes through translation, the more times it gets distorted and gobbledegook. Which yeah, obviously that is the case with the mythologies and oral history. But I literally mean Creation itself.

I mean my Father was really losing it by Day 7 when Uriel -- I think Uriel, told him to rest. So just trying to give millions or billions or trillions of universes their own [Hand motions a MESS.] essence. I kind of doubt it worked well. Obviously. UGH. Who the fuck is going to clean this up? The only two people in Devildom who like cleaning are me and Barbatos. And another thing? Father warned me I shouldn't just clean up after my brothers either, I have to teach them how to do it themselves. Which doesn't work with Satan, but I can give him restrictions when it starts literally collapsing on him. But universes?

[GLARES AT SKY.]

I'm not paid enough. [Deadpan.]
againstgod: (→ No telling lies)

[personal profile] againstgod 2026-02-02 06:49 am (UTC)(link)
You told me. [ about satan. how he came to be. ]
That's why I knew you would understand the weight of my words.

[ but it's different.

it was an unwilling split. a devastating act. they came to be with that violence that made rosiel and her yearning for completion. breath to their breath, wing to their wing. she was just as obsessive as her brother, but couldn't verbalize or display her true feelings.

and god sowed discord and kept them apart; he made her brother believe that she hated him. threatened her into complying. she was too afraid to lose him first. hah. pathetic.

maybe that longing for their other self materialized in their lifestyles. her more crude, masculine actions to rosiel's feminine fashion and styling. they were completing their emptiness. ]


I don't know what makes someone or something a God. [ admits alexiel as she lies down beside him. rather than smacking him, she laces their fingers together to squeeze his hand.] I don't care either. We don't need God.

This is the truth. [ she reaches out with her free hand, giving light taps above his heart. ]
The heart that beats for your brothers, your dragon, your general. And everything else.

[ he can overthink the injustice, the tribulations, the unconfirmed, half-guesses. it may come to some satisfying conclusion someday. but she can't tell him what his father was thinking.

she can only say this. ]


That's the only truth that truly matters.
Your freedom to love.
Edited 2026-02-02 06:52 (UTC)
fellfurthest: (listening)

[personal profile] fellfurthest 2026-02-02 06:57 am (UTC)(link)
Yes.

That's beautiful.

I think. I can stick to that.

I'm never going to fucking tell my brothers that. But one day, when I'm stronger, I'll make sure it doesn't die within me.

[Because that is what happens to unshared knowledge.]
againstgod: (→ Melancholy)

This looks like a wrap??

[personal profile] againstgod 2026-02-03 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
Make it known. [she nods and rolls to her back to face the sky.] Not our ugly truths, but that one.
That one was a beautiful one.