tfln

[gutties]

That's not really a thing that happens, is it?

Comments

[zlodey]

I never said it's good advice, but it does solve problems, no?

[catoru]

yeah but like give me some options
some abc's~
wow this relationship hotline sucks
i want a refund :/

[zlodey]

Options on how to kill her?
Well. I guess I could help you out with that.

[catoru]

nah i'm gonna talk to customer support
complain to HR

did you like the part where i called you a hot russian girl :)

[zlodey]

You were talking about me?
I wasn't aware, considering you said you were "dating" her.

( he was aware. )

[catoru]

we're dating :)

[ SAY IT BACK ]

[zlodey]

I haven't been informed about any of that.

( SINCE WHEN ARE THEY DATING )

[catoru]

im informing you!
see?? ヽ(o´∀`)ﾉ♪♬
i love our little talks :)

[ FYODOR SAY IT BACK ]

[zlodey]

Is this usually how you ask people out?

( let him parse this pls )

[catoru]

see? i knew you weren't a quack
you totally know about this stuff
can i get my relationship advice now or?

[zlodey]

Well, duh. Why else would I be offering advice in the first place?

So, what do you want from her? To open up to you?
You can't simply force people to do that, you know. Or, well, you can, if you're ready to take some big steps.
Some duct tape, a free basement, rope to tie her down, and I'm sure you can force just about anything out of her.

[catoru]

uh huh

but what if she's u know

like that

[ he's decently sure his russian girlfriend would be kind of into that ]

[zlodey]

Like what?

( say it satoru )

[catoru]

like that

[ no he will not ]

[zlodey]

Elaborate, or I can't help.

( no say it )

[catoru]

okay so like
liveleaks and ignore would be her
netflix and chill ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌

[ IS HE WRONG, FYODOR ]

[zlodey]

( ... ah, like that. )

Force her to pay attention.
Surely a man of your caliber can wrestle his girl into submission.

( ??? encouraging domestic abuse )

[catoru]

HMmmmmm
is this dating advice channel licensed?
sounds like the dating advice channel has never been on a date before~

[ HE'S NOT GOING TO NONCON YOU FYODOR we'll work on that ]

[zlodey]

It's aaaa ~ ll super trustworthy never-failing advice from a genius himself!

( boooo you whore )

[catoru]

okay so like
tell me what makes u the dating expert genius huh
credentials plee~ease

[ SHARE WITH THE CLASS ]

[zlodey]

None of your business.

( ?? )

[catoru]

[ ... ]

called it
fyodor's a virgin

[zlodey]

Yes, you got me.

( . )

[catoru]

that's what a virgin would say
〣( ºΔº )〣

[zlodey]

As I said, yes, you got me.
What else do you need?