gutties (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gutties) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2023-09-15 12:01 pm
gutties) wrote in bakerstreet2023-09-15 12:01 pm
Actually, deal, that sounds like a great time.
You know the prize is a hundred dollar gift card and a plastic trophy, right?
You know the prize is a hundred dollar gift card and a plastic trophy, right?
1— I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text.
2— found my wallet. it was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". drunk me is an ass.
3— ...but I'm still alive. and that's the main thing.
4— I should just black out in my front yard again. that was a great night's sleep.
5— I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar. I think I've hit rock bottom.
wildcard— or text him!
2— found my wallet. it was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". drunk me is an ass.
3— ...but I'm still alive. and that's the main thing.
4— I should just black out in my front yard again. that was a great night's sleep.
5— I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar. I think I've hit rock bottom.
wildcard— or text him!
we'd get kicked out for the amount of breadsticks we'd put away between us.
1. I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
2. You were simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping you.
3. I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
4. It's fun getting to tell people the baby I'm holding is my sister-in-law. They're always so confused.
5. text her!
2. You were simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping you.
3. I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
4. It's fun getting to tell people the baby I'm holding is my sister-in-law. They're always so confused.
5. text her!
So do you want to go to Red Lobster for lunch? My treat.
1. i don't know where i am but the food in the fridge is AWESOME.
2. quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate!
3. can't tell if i'm starving or about to puke. playing it safe and eating froot loops. tasty in, colorful out.
4. i'm sleeping in your bed. sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud pirates. i'm starving.
5. (text him)
1. That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
2. I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant. That is all.
3. I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
4. dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
2. I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant. That is all.
3. I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
4. dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You're a wonderfully sweet man.
You didn't have to do that, I'm perfectly happy to go to a sex store.
You didn't have to do that, I'm perfectly happy to go to a sex store.
1. Strong letter to follow. I do not accept nor wish to receive your gift.
2. You left your pants in my study. They are still there. Please arrange an appointment with the housekeeper to collect them.
3. I may have gone a bit overboard this time.
4. (Sent at 3am) A week after fermentation is still wine. It's bearable enough to drink. It's like grape juice. It's not as good as grape juice. It's good, but grape juice is better.
5. Text him!
2. You left your pants in my study. They are still there. Please arrange an appointment with the housekeeper to collect them.
3. I may have gone a bit overboard this time.
4. (Sent at 3am) A week after fermentation is still wine. It's bearable enough to drink. It's like grape juice. It's not as good as grape juice. It's good, but grape juice is better.
5. Text him!
1. I woke up in the back of someone's car and I don't think they know I'm here. This is about to be some serious urban legend shit, isn't it?
2. Do not let me have the internet while I'm drunk. Apparently I'm now organizing another run on Area 51. I don't even like the desert.
3. This text is coming from inside the house.
4. Long story short - I put green dye in their body wash and now they're convinced it's the result of alien abduction last night while they were passed out.
And before you ask, yes convinced by me.
2. Do not let me have the internet while I'm drunk. Apparently I'm now organizing another run on Area 51. I don't even like the desert.
3. This text is coming from inside the house.
4. Long story short - I put green dye in their body wash and now they're convinced it's the result of alien abduction last night while they were passed out.
And before you ask, yes convinced by me.
well he's cute and sweet so they tend to just flock around him.
they're also always stupidly tall so he just blends in with them when they start circling!
they're also always stupidly tall so he just blends in with them when they start circling!
I want to say no, but yeah. Yeah, I have. Usually on the worst hangover mornings.
Hazardous to YOU, not to me. Put. The. Hammer. DOWN.
Yeah, but it'd be worth it to get blacklisted from all the locations. Like a game.
1. i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
2. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
3. She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
4. Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
5. We're not ready for visitors right now.
2. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
3. She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
4. Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
5. We're not ready for visitors right now.
...speaking from experience, an asthma attack really ruins the mood
True. I have more than that.
Your smile? Probably for the best.
Your smile? Probably for the best.
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