the only one who can fuck me is me.

[liltuna]

would you fuck your clone? a crack meme for pondering the impossible...   A question as old as time, or at least as old as Buzzfeed. How many intellectuals over the years have pondered the very same question you're being faced with now? Did Socrates wonder about the moral quandaries that accompany clone sex? Did Plato? Does a dilemma so complex have a right answer? If so, does your character know it?    how to play 1. Your character has been posed the question, 'Would you fuck your clone?' Top-levels should be responses to this question. Blank top-levels will be deleted. 2. Chat around with others and debate over the ethics of engaging your hypothetical clone in such a way.

Comments

[scampo]

Had I the capability, I'd clone myself as many times as it takes to land myself on your good side and on the right side of the law. Four clones should be enough, no?

( sir, excuse me. )

Yes, but would you...

Geez, don't make me say it! Vulgarities before a Silvermane guard? How many days in the slammer would that land me? Maybe gestures would suffice...?

( he raises his hands, like he's really about to shadowpuppet out the birds and the bees. )

[veiller]

Four clones? You can’t keep yourself out of trouble when there is one of you.

[ no, it would be absolutely disastrous. the worst thing to befall belobog since the eternal freeze.

imagine the amount of scams that would be floating around.

…actually, gepard would rather envision such a possibility than what sampo is trying to gesture to him. ]

Stop. I am not about to watch you mime out obscene acts. I absolutely would not. I will certainly not entertain the idea long enough to even consider it.

[scampo]

Well, how else am I supposed to get the attention of my favorite guard? You are not an easy man to get in touch with, my friend. You don't leave a fella many options...

( his smirk should be enough to give him away, but even if it isn't, chances are gepard knows sampo well enough by now to know when he's amusing himself. he's a free man! enjoying his freedom! freely!

and maybe, possibly, poking a hornet's nest, as is his aeon-given right. )

Obscene? Psh, no. Nothing could be more natural! Hey, I heard that the beloved Guard makes you take a vow of celibacy in order to better serve the people. I normally have a pretty good ear for these things, you know. Or was that just a rumor from a jaded vagrant..? Let me check my notes.

[veiller]

[ excuse you, he is plenty easy to get in touch with if you are not trying to evade the law while doing so!

what curse has been laid upon him for gepard to be sampo’s ‘favorite’ guard… ]

A vow of- That is certainly not a requirement. How would we enforce such a thing?

[ for the love of all that is good, please stop this line of inquiry! ]

It is simply a choice that some dedicated members of the Guard choose to make.

[ some… dedicated… members… who will not be named. ]

[scampo]

I assumed it'd be on the honor system. Honor is something your guards have no shortage of!

( gepard is right insofar as that there's no way to really enforce a thing like that, but the silvermane guards are so devoted to their cause and their leader, sampo didn't think to question the authenticity of such a rumor. )

Then again, after seeing what some guards get up to on their off-hours down in the Underworld... I'd have to imagine some within your rank take their choice more seriously than others.

I woooould ask which side you fall on, but I think we both know the answer to that one~★

[veiller]

[ oh, gepard knows very well what some of his men get up to on their off-hours. he’s not a fool, but he also does not want to entirely destroy an already-tenuous morale. he does not like the stories he hears, but there’s really no way to prove anything, and if anything illegal happened, he certainly would not turn a blind eye, so… some things he has to let go.

even if he would prefer not to know about it. ]

I would thank you not to slander the reputation of my fellows with your rumors, Sampo.

I would also thank you to not speculate on what I may or may not do when it comes to… intimate relations.

[ yeah, it’s pretty obvious what side gepard falls on. ]

[scampo]

All this thanks from the Captain himself? Is today my birthday~?

( he's flattered, truly. )

But, worry not. Your secret is safe with me.

...

For a price, that is.

[veiller]

[ ?!?!? ]

What secret are you talking about? I would never, ever share a secret with you.

And blackmailing a Silvermane Guard is decidedly illegal.

[scampo]

( he does his best to look hurt by this. )

Blackmail? Please. Gepard. Buddy. We're not talking as law enforcement and civilian; we're speaking as friends!

[veiller]

Friends.

[ skepticism. gepard doesn’t think he would consider them ‘friends’. ]

You are not trying to extort me, hm?

[scampo]

You really think that little of Sampo Koski, huh?

( he wouldn't use a word like extort. like gepard's view on the word 'friend,' sampo finds it a little too strong. )

It's true that the people of Belobog would love to hear all the juicy gossip regarding what goes on behind the gilded doors of their beloved Silvermane Captain... but keeping that little nugget of knowledge between us is the least I can do for you.

[veiller]

[ that is exactly the amount of thought gepard thinks sampo koski deserves. ]

Juicy gossip. When did I tell you anything about what goes on behind my doors?

[ considering gepard is one of those who has uh, sworn himself to the cause, what goes on would be: nothing. ]

[scampo]

You didn't have to.

( what's sampo saying with that small smile of his? )

Who should have the honor of being the Captain's first, I wonder...

[veiller]

[ what is he saying????? ]

I beg your pardon?

[ that isn't how this works! ]

[scampo]

Geppie, please. This is a compliment! I know plenty of folks who'd line up at the door to have a chance with a real Silvermane Guard, a Captain no less.

You know how much a thing like that would be worth at auction.

( gepard, it's fine. )

Hypothetically, of course!

Geeeeeez, if only you could see your face right now. You don't have any faith in me at all...

[veiller]

[ ugh, that nickname... from him, of all people. ]

I have no intention of selling myself at auction to line your pockets, Sampo. I ought to have you fined for even considering such a thing.

[ hypothetically... sure. ]

Do you know why I have no faith in you? Need I remind you of all the times you have taken my sympathy for granted?

[scampo]

Is it a crime to engage in a little thought experiment every now and again, Captain? As you know, I have nothing but the utmost respect for the Guards and the hard work they put into keeping our fair city safe. The last thing I'd want to do, dear friend, is besmirch your name. I wouldn't I want to take advantage of your kindness, either.

( he even gives a little bow so you know it's real. )

Please. I was a young man back then. I've grown! I've learned! I'm even offering you my help as a gesture of good faith!

[veiller]

[ is taking advantage of people's kindness not your brand, sampo??? ]

Your help in what? Forgive me if I have been burned by you far too many times to take any of your 'offers' at face value.

[ when even a gullible guy like gepard doesn't trust you, that's pretty bad. ]

[scampo]

Help in your education, Captain!

( he's never lied ever in his life!!!! )

[veiller]

My... education.

[ certainly not. this man is not a qualified teacher. ]

[scampo]

I only want to show you what is you're missing out on.

( qualified, schmolified. )

There's a lot to learn, and I've been around the block a few times. Help me help you become the best you can be with regards to... yourself, I guess? Chances are you don't even know what you like yet... I can help with that.

[veiller]

[ what the hell is this ]

Excuse me? Are you- Are you propositioning me?

[ absurd! surely even sampo isn't that bold! not that what he says isn't true, but that is not any of his business. ]

[scampo]

( buddy, ALL of belobog is sampo's business. )

Do you know me at all? What I'm offering is a business deal: nothing more, nothing less.

[veiller]

A business deal. And what, exactly, do you get out of a deal like this?

[ he's not saying yes. ]

Intimacy is not meant to be a... a business deal.

[scampo]

( he's not saying no!! )

On the contrary! Intimacy is nothing but making deals. Two parties, coming together, negotiating their desires and coming to a compromise? That's business, friend.

But, as for what I'd be getting out of things... I get the joy of seeing one (1) Captain Gepard in a way that no one else has. That's all the reward I need.