them sexts

[inuyasock]

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

Comments

miles morales (spider-verse) m/f

[spiderversal]

[canonevents]

this not being able to see each other thing really sucks

[spiderversal]

you're telling me
the coolest girl in the multiverse, and i can't even see your face

[canonevents]

if it makes you feel better there's like a couple million people in my new york who've never gotten to see it at all
or at least don't know that it's my face
wow now that i'm reading it that sounded really full of myself so we're just gonna
.
.
.
uh, you could though
i mean not in person but
you know
the unbridled power of the internet

[spiderversal]

maybe just a little full of yourself
but hey, if anyone deserves that, it's you

i am
a pretty big fan of the internet
almost as big of a fan as i am of you

[canonevents]

( the attached photo is one of gwen making a silly face at the camera, clinging to her bedroom ceiling with her hair falling towards her bed below. )

( a second, more serious one comes in. she's laying on her bed this time, head against the pillow. visibly nervous. )

i feel. so lame.

[spiderversal]

[ sighs, even that silly face makes a warmth spread through him, though. how is someone supposed to be so cute and also so cool? it's no fair!!

the sight of her resting in her bed, on her pillow, hits a little differently, though. ]

why
you're so

[ here the texting bubbles dance a little as he tries to decide the right word for what she is. there are too many. ]

everything
you're so everything

[canonevents]

not to sound like incredibly insecure but
that's good right?
everything is good?
you should send one too

[spiderversal]

yes
everything is really good
you're like, a total babe, you know that right

[ is maybe getting a bit more blunt with it than he'd like, but. it's true.

a moment letter her phone will ping with a picture back. he's in bed, too, flopped back and holding his phone up over his face. the fact that he is wearing a tanktop and happens to be showing off how nice his traps are looking these days is, of course, not on purpose at all. ]

[canonevents]

babe sounds like a word reserved for the kinds of girls who don't get undercuts and ride on the top of subway cars
by which i mean thank you
because i know how to take a compliment and am not at all nervous or stuffing my foot deeper into my mouth before i can say something stupid like
that shirt looks really good on you
but it'd look better on my floor
👉🏻👉🏻
do we have a word for the tingly under the chest feeling for oh boy oh boy i really hope this works out? or is that not a spider-special and am i just exposing myself as a total alien to like half the spectrum of human emotion?

[spiderversal]

nah nah
'babe' is definitely the right word
for a girl, like
with the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen
or a smile that could stop a truck
or just the most perfect butt

[ he'd hope that's not a step too far, but also, she just said she wanted his shirt on her bedroom floor, so. anxiety is alleviating slightly.

only slightly, though, he's still a spider-person. ]

i think that's more of a person thing than a spider-thing
but i guess i'm also a spider and also feeling it so
who knows

[canonevents]

uh
miles?
my butt wasn't in that picture.

( that can only mean he was staring at it previously 👀 )

[spiderversal]

well
i mean
it's not like i've never had an opportunity to look at your butt
spider-costumes are very flattering!

[ help, digging holes isn't part of his powerset and digging out of them even less so ]

[canonevents]

that's true
i mean it could be a subpar butt made perfect by spandex and webbing
a web of lies if you will
get it because
anyway
the point is: shapewear

[spiderversal]

damn you're right
you could be gaslighting me
no
ass-lighting me
(see i can make bad jokes too)
guess there'd only be one way to find out for sure

[canonevents]

ass lighting
that's good
that's funny

( that's absolutely giving her time to work up to what they have both invariably been nudging towards. )

miles.
if you show this to anyone
ANYONE
you know it'll be really bad for me right?

[spiderversal]

i try
spider-people are supposed to be funny right
miguel dni

gwen
our entire thing is keeping secrets
if i'm not gonna tell anyone that you're a spider-woman
i'm certainly not gonna show anyone
anything
besides you're not even from this universe
it's the perfect crime

[canonevents]

ok.

( deep breath. these are compelling, logical justifications for doing one of the, like, five things her dad said were absolutely off limits forever and ever amen (the other four include such hits as 'drugs' and 'murder,' so, there's that). )

( she hits send on a picture that she had clearly taken her time with somewhere between all the memeing. she's lying on her stomach on her bed. the camera gets the messy top of her hair and, over her very bare shoulder, the slope of her naked spine and the arch of her ass, pushed into the air like she's waiting for something. )

( it's one of those stupid you see it on the internet things. like, she's trying to recreate a vibe. hobie would think it was stupid because it's so insecure that it doesn't quite feel authentic, but in a way it does. because the authenticity is in the way she tries to paper over her inexperience. )

DON'T laugh.

[spiderversal]

[ it's all very true, too. if she actually is about to send him any kind of butt-pic or otherwise sexy shot, he's obviously going to keep that super secret. he's not a monster. and why would he want anyone else to see her goodies, anyway? truly his selfishness and nobility align on this one.

and. yeah. that one hits like a train. maybe it's a little deliberately staged, but it's clear that she's trying, that she wants to look sexy and mature and - vixen-y? is that a word? - and it's the trying that matters. the trying that makes his head spin. ]

why
would i ever laugh
like damn gwen
it's super not just the suit

[canonevents]

yeah?

( it's probably a little stupid to flush and feel girlishly validated by the male gaze or whatever? but ... she does. and it's not like it's The Male Gaze, exactly, so much as it's him. it's miles. the subject of much lip-biting and squirming in sheets and general ennui as she wrestles with the distance between them. it's kind of blowing her mind, actually, because she hadn't even though to daydream or regular dream about him saying these kinds of things about her. it feels good. really good. )

you can save it
if you want to
for
you know
"later"

[spiderversal]

yeah
you're
way too hot, honestly
i'm gonna need you to stop it

[ now that this line has been crossed, it only feels right to gas her up. because he means it, and while she doesn't necessarily need his validation to feel good about herself, hey, who doesn't like a little anyway?

it's still kind of unreal she even sent that to him. ]

oh 'later' huh
why gwen stacy
what ever could you mean

[ lol like he didn't already save it anyway ]

[canonevents]

one of life's great mysteries
there's just such a wide variety of situations where a picture of my ass might come in handy you know
just shove that thing in a nuclear reactor mid-meltdown and see what happens
other than losing your phone
obviously

[spiderversal]

that's very true
though honestly
i think i'd let the reactor melt down
rather than lose a picture of your ass
i mean
that is priceless
so i guess what i'm saying is that i'd die for your ass

[canonevents]

wow
romance 🔥
wait til j. jonah jameson finds out spider-man is an ass man
who'da thought
you do have one of those right?

[spiderversal]

just wait until i make you a mix tape
then you know it's real
we do and he's a jerk
i think i'll keep my proclivities to myself
then again
anyone who saw this ass?
would understand
but that's my secret to keep