them sexts

[inuyasock]

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

Comments

[spiderversal]

i try
spider-people are supposed to be funny right
miguel dni

gwen
our entire thing is keeping secrets
if i'm not gonna tell anyone that you're a spider-woman
i'm certainly not gonna show anyone
anything
besides you're not even from this universe
it's the perfect crime

[canonevents]

ok.

( deep breath. these are compelling, logical justifications for doing one of the, like, five things her dad said were absolutely off limits forever and ever amen (the other four include such hits as 'drugs' and 'murder,' so, there's that). )

( she hits send on a picture that she had clearly taken her time with somewhere between all the memeing. she's lying on her stomach on her bed. the camera gets the messy top of her hair and, over her very bare shoulder, the slope of her naked spine and the arch of her ass, pushed into the air like she's waiting for something. )

( it's one of those stupid you see it on the internet things. like, she's trying to recreate a vibe. hobie would think it was stupid because it's so insecure that it doesn't quite feel authentic, but in a way it does. because the authenticity is in the way she tries to paper over her inexperience. )

DON'T laugh.

[spiderversal]

[ it's all very true, too. if she actually is about to send him any kind of butt-pic or otherwise sexy shot, he's obviously going to keep that super secret. he's not a monster. and why would he want anyone else to see her goodies, anyway? truly his selfishness and nobility align on this one.

and. yeah. that one hits like a train. maybe it's a little deliberately staged, but it's clear that she's trying, that she wants to look sexy and mature and - vixen-y? is that a word? - and it's the trying that matters. the trying that makes his head spin. ]

why
would i ever laugh
like damn gwen
it's super not just the suit

[canonevents]

yeah?

( it's probably a little stupid to flush and feel girlishly validated by the male gaze or whatever? but ... she does. and it's not like it's The Male Gaze, exactly, so much as it's him. it's miles. the subject of much lip-biting and squirming in sheets and general ennui as she wrestles with the distance between them. it's kind of blowing her mind, actually, because she hadn't even though to daydream or regular dream about him saying these kinds of things about her. it feels good. really good. )

you can save it
if you want to
for
you know
"later"

[spiderversal]

yeah
you're
way too hot, honestly
i'm gonna need you to stop it

[ now that this line has been crossed, it only feels right to gas her up. because he means it, and while she doesn't necessarily need his validation to feel good about herself, hey, who doesn't like a little anyway?

it's still kind of unreal she even sent that to him. ]

oh 'later' huh
why gwen stacy
what ever could you mean

[ lol like he didn't already save it anyway ]

[canonevents]

one of life's great mysteries
there's just such a wide variety of situations where a picture of my ass might come in handy you know
just shove that thing in a nuclear reactor mid-meltdown and see what happens
other than losing your phone
obviously

[spiderversal]

that's very true
though honestly
i think i'd let the reactor melt down
rather than lose a picture of your ass
i mean
that is priceless
so i guess what i'm saying is that i'd die for your ass

[canonevents]

wow
romance 🔥
wait til j. jonah jameson finds out spider-man is an ass man
who'da thought
you do have one of those right?

[spiderversal]

just wait until i make you a mix tape
then you know it's real
we do and he's a jerk
i think i'll keep my proclivities to myself
then again
anyone who saw this ass?
would understand
but that's my secret to keep

[canonevents]

well now i know what i should be holding out for before sending more pics

[spiderversal]

uh oh
what pitfall did i open up for myself

[canonevents]

a musical one
🎵

[spiderversal]

careful gwen
if i do that, this might be something real
you sure you got the guts for that?

[ because he absolutely wants to For Real Date her, as much as one can across universes, but he's not just gonna say that. ]

[canonevents]

believe me i know.

( she has thought so much about the stakes of having something real with any spider-man. for her, personally. for gwen stacy. it seems like an express train to death and potential dismemberment, actually. so if they're going to make jokes about who's going to die for the booty, well ... really, she knows which of them that would be. will be. yikes. mood-killer supreme. )

has it
has it not been? for you?

[spiderversal]

[ perhaps that was a bit too glib, but that's part of the spider-man experience, isn't it? deflecting with humor, trying not to take things too seriously, because there are so many things to be serious about.

it's stuck in his head, what she said. that spider-man and gwen stacy never ends well in the multiverse. but he's willing to try and be the exception. to a lot of things in the canon. ]

it's
felt pretty real
i just don't wanna, y'know
push anything onto you
with
all of the spider society stuff
and stuff
i didn't know if maybe it was just me

[canonevents]

it's not
it's so definitely not just you.

[spiderversal]

well
good
because, i mean
you know how i like to say 'fuck destiny' right

[canonevents]

yeah.
i really, really like that about you.

( some might even say love. but not her. because that'd be weird, right? now that this context hangs over everything, that'd be super weird. it'd sound like she was saying she loved him and that's just. ha. hahaha. like. wayyyy too soon. )

[spiderversal]

i'm pretty cool that way
and good, because there are a lot of things i really like about you, too

[ the big l would probably be a bit too soon, but he's not going to pretend he isn't kicking his feet in excitement a little. at least, internally. ]

[canonevents]

like my ass
which ranks ... where on the list, exactly?

[spiderversal]

i mean
being perfectly honest, pretty high
somewhere between how rad your drumming is and how cool your costume is
and several notches below how smart you are

[canonevents]

you're so corny

( corny, here defined as: complimenting her in a capacity that she doesn't know what to say )

[spiderversal]

hey, you asked
besides
you like it

[ he hopes anyway ]

[canonevents]

i don't hate it

[spiderversal]

you know what
i'll take what i can get