Call me, call me any, anytime!

[buckingham]

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

Comments

[skulleon]

[ this is not the selca you're looking for; it's better than being sent to the group chat, but not that much! why double-check which notification you clicked on when you can just go for it? ]

You sure it's better in blue, though?
Kinda think you're just wantin' to get at what's underneath!

[necrocosmic]

[ First of all, she’s definitely already seen all the porn on Ryuji’s phone before. Second of all, she can guess who this was meant for. That said.......... NO, THIS WAS DEFINITELY NOT THE SELCA SHE WAS LOOKING FOR.

She needs a minute to compose herself over being accidentally flashed Ryuji’s crotch. And also to think about how she’s going to embarrass him. How long can she pretend to be Akira until he finally fucking reads who he’s messaging, that is the question. ]

You caught me. Blue is definitely my horny color.

[ Listen, she never said she was good at imitating Joker. ]

[skulleon]

[ wait, what? something feels off, but why try to scroll back through the chat history, either? it's probably ryuji's imagination, nothing more. ]

Huh? I thought you said red on red don't look good, that's all...

But hey, noted!

[necrocosmic]

[ Ryuji... buddy, pal... this is how you become the butt of every joke, my dude. ]

Well, it doesn’t look good.

Why are you stuffing your underwear though? Did you use tissues or what?

[skulleon]

[ since when does anyone accuse him of that?

fine! he wanted to follow by example, draw it out a little bit, but if it's really coming to this then ryuji doesn't have much of a choice in the matter. buddy, you asked for it, if you're wanting the goods so badly... ]

For real? You know damn well what I'm workin' with!

[ attachment: 939041.jpg ]

[necrocosmic]

[ This... This took such a turn... Is she amused or is she traumatized? She can’t really decide but she’s flushing bright red behind her phone screen and her heart is hammering wildly behind her ribcage.

Sure, she’s seen the porn before, but that was a while ago, before he was taking pictures of his penis and sending them to people apparently. Her mind is a frantic cacophony of “RYUJIDICKRYUJIDICKRYUJIDICKRYUJIDICK” screaming. No, no! This is bad! This is wrong!! She can’t do this anymore!! ]

DON’T SEND UNSOLICITED DICK PICS!!!!!

[skulleon]

[ unsolicited? but didn't he— ]

Make up your damn mind! You're the one who told me to strip in the first place!!

The hell did you expect!?

[ this isn't...how most of his pictures goes down, but ryuji still hasn't checked his contacts yet... ]

[necrocosmic]

[ OMIGOD, RYUJI, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!? Futaba is still having a slight panic attack and a gigantic moral conflict here. ]

I AM NOT AKIRA!!!

[skulleon]

Man, I already said I'm not callin' you Joker in bed!

[ who does this guy think he is, and what's with all the caps lock...it's nothing he hasn't seen before! ]

[necrocosmic]

[ Her brain is breaking. This is such bad feels... Omg, she wants to die. ]

I AM LITERALLY NOT AKIRA. LOOK AT WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO, IDIOT.

[skulleon]

[ seriously, who— ] ... [ ... ] ...

[ for a change, ryuji does as he's told. he looks real hard at the screen, at this conversation right now, at the abundant lack of a chat log.

wait, why isn't there

any







oh.

oh? ]

... [ the icon in the corner; he didn't notice... ]

THE HELL!? FREAKIN' FUTABA!!??

[ freakin' futaba. he's been had... ]

[necrocosmic]

YEAH, “FREAKIN’ FUTABA”. MAYBE CHECK TO SEE WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO BEFORE YOU JUST GO SENDING OUT YOUR TROUSER SNAKE!? YOU’RE GONNA TAKE SOMEONE’S EYE OUT LIKE THIS.

[skulleon]

[ okay, first of all! why take this long to say anything!

and second: ]

You,
uh




think it's that big???

[ is this a good thing? ]

1/2

[necrocosmic]

[ She just threw her phone across the room and dove into her bed, screaming into a pillow and blushing madly. GOD, RYUJI, WHY ARE YOU THE WAY THAT YOU ARE. ]

2/2

[necrocosmic]

[ So like, 30 minutes later and a knock from Sojiro to ask if she’s okay in there, Futaba has collected herself enough to retrieve her phone. ]

Wouldn’t Akira be upset we were talking about this? I know this is kinda my fault too, but I diDN’T THINK YOU WERE GONNA ACTUALLY SEND ONE TOTALLY NAKED. I didn’t mean to see Akira’s boyfriend’s dong!

[skulleon]

Pretty sure he'd just laugh his ass off...

[ this is futaba, after all. aren't these two practically family members, anyway? although having her hold on to such...private information is probably a little dangerous, now that ryuji thinks about it. ]

Look, whatever, just delete that shit! Don't go spreading it around!

[necrocosmic]

[ She doesn’t know whether to be insulted or relieved. Right, right, she’s the kid sister of the group, she gets that. Still...

She’s definitely insulted by the second thing though. ]

Who do you think I am!? I wouldn’t do that. And obviously not to you!

[skulleon]

Shuddup!! I'm just coverin' my ass!

[ literally, now, since sending his proper texts are obviously off the table now. this is going to be a weird conversation for later... ]

[necrocosmic]

[ Bold of you to assume this will ever be brought up again. ]

You ARE the ass.

[skulleon]

I said shuddup!! You're the one who didn't say nothing!!!!

[necrocosmic]

You’re the one who didn’t realize who you were talking to!! For all I knew, you could have actually meant to talk to me!

[skulleon]

Hell no! I'm not showing my goods to you!!

[ except he just did? ]

[necrocosmic]

[ Oh, she will be quick to point out the hypocrisy here. She tiny... but mighty. ]

Right, you’re only gonna ask my opinion on them!

And since they’re yours, they’re hardly goods!!

[ Mad? Who, her? Naaaaah... ]

[skulleon]

Your opinion's pretty damn clear!!
And plenty of people like my junk, lay off!

[necrocosmic]

Joker doesn’t count! He likes everyone!

[ Okay, maybe not to the point where he has the opportunity to ask them to call him by his codename in bed but she’s a little riled up. ]

Don’t worry! It’s scrubbed from my phone! If only I could scrub my mind!