Call me, call me any, anytime!

[buckingham]

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

Comments

[necrocosmic]

[ This... This took such a turn... Is she amused or is she traumatized? She can’t really decide but she’s flushing bright red behind her phone screen and her heart is hammering wildly behind her ribcage.

Sure, she’s seen the porn before, but that was a while ago, before he was taking pictures of his penis and sending them to people apparently. Her mind is a frantic cacophony of “RYUJIDICKRYUJIDICKRYUJIDICKRYUJIDICK” screaming. No, no! This is bad! This is wrong!! She can’t do this anymore!! ]

DON’T SEND UNSOLICITED DICK PICS!!!!!

[skulleon]

[ unsolicited? but didn't he— ]

Make up your damn mind! You're the one who told me to strip in the first place!!

The hell did you expect!?

[ this isn't...how most of his pictures goes down, but ryuji still hasn't checked his contacts yet... ]

[necrocosmic]

[ OMIGOD, RYUJI, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!? Futaba is still having a slight panic attack and a gigantic moral conflict here. ]

I AM NOT AKIRA!!!

[skulleon]

Man, I already said I'm not callin' you Joker in bed!

[ who does this guy think he is, and what's with all the caps lock...it's nothing he hasn't seen before! ]

[necrocosmic]

[ Her brain is breaking. This is such bad feels... Omg, she wants to die. ]

I AM LITERALLY NOT AKIRA. LOOK AT WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO, IDIOT.

[skulleon]

[ seriously, who— ] ... [ ... ] ...

[ for a change, ryuji does as he's told. he looks real hard at the screen, at this conversation right now, at the abundant lack of a chat log.

wait, why isn't there

any







oh.

oh? ]

... [ the icon in the corner; he didn't notice... ]

THE HELL!? FREAKIN' FUTABA!!??

[ freakin' futaba. he's been had... ]

[necrocosmic]

YEAH, “FREAKIN’ FUTABA”. MAYBE CHECK TO SEE WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO BEFORE YOU JUST GO SENDING OUT YOUR TROUSER SNAKE!? YOU’RE GONNA TAKE SOMEONE’S EYE OUT LIKE THIS.

[skulleon]

[ okay, first of all! why take this long to say anything!

and second: ]

You,
uh




think it's that big???

[ is this a good thing? ]

1/2

[necrocosmic]

[ She just threw her phone across the room and dove into her bed, screaming into a pillow and blushing madly. GOD, RYUJI, WHY ARE YOU THE WAY THAT YOU ARE. ]

2/2

[necrocosmic]

[ So like, 30 minutes later and a knock from Sojiro to ask if she’s okay in there, Futaba has collected herself enough to retrieve her phone. ]

Wouldn’t Akira be upset we were talking about this? I know this is kinda my fault too, but I diDN’T THINK YOU WERE GONNA ACTUALLY SEND ONE TOTALLY NAKED. I didn’t mean to see Akira’s boyfriend’s dong!

[skulleon]

Pretty sure he'd just laugh his ass off...

[ this is futaba, after all. aren't these two practically family members, anyway? although having her hold on to such...private information is probably a little dangerous, now that ryuji thinks about it. ]

Look, whatever, just delete that shit! Don't go spreading it around!

[necrocosmic]

[ She doesn’t know whether to be insulted or relieved. Right, right, she’s the kid sister of the group, she gets that. Still...

She’s definitely insulted by the second thing though. ]

Who do you think I am!? I wouldn’t do that. And obviously not to you!

[skulleon]

Shuddup!! I'm just coverin' my ass!

[ literally, now, since sending his proper texts are obviously off the table now. this is going to be a weird conversation for later... ]

[necrocosmic]

[ Bold of you to assume this will ever be brought up again. ]

You ARE the ass.

[skulleon]

I said shuddup!! You're the one who didn't say nothing!!!!

[necrocosmic]

You’re the one who didn’t realize who you were talking to!! For all I knew, you could have actually meant to talk to me!

[skulleon]

Hell no! I'm not showing my goods to you!!

[ except he just did? ]

[necrocosmic]

[ Oh, she will be quick to point out the hypocrisy here. She tiny... but mighty. ]

Right, you’re only gonna ask my opinion on them!

And since they’re yours, they’re hardly goods!!

[ Mad? Who, her? Naaaaah... ]

[skulleon]

Your opinion's pretty damn clear!!
And plenty of people like my junk, lay off!

[necrocosmic]

Joker doesn’t count! He likes everyone!

[ Okay, maybe not to the point where he has the opportunity to ask them to call him by his codename in bed but she’s a little riled up. ]

Don’t worry! It’s scrubbed from my phone! If only I could scrub my mind!

[skulleon]

Says you, he likes me the most!

You think I wanna be reminded you're carrying that around with you forever? Jeez...

[ but he does feel bad, considering it's his mistake... ]

Look,
whaddya want from Akiba? I'll make it up to you!

[necrocosmic]

[ Ohhhh... Now this sounds like appropriate compensation... Ryuji should be careful though. This could also get expensive for him real quick. ]

I’m more upset you’d think I’d go plastering it around the internet. I only use my powers for good.

But there are some figures I’ve been looking at...

[skulleon]

I know you got all kinds of dirt on people...I don't wanna get on your bad side, that's all!

[ although if the whole world knew what he was packing...there's worse things in the end, probably. ]

Link 'em to me? I can at least scope it out!
That way you don't have to go anywhere!

[necrocosmic]

[ Please, she’s rueful enough that she gave him a momentary ego stroke about his size. He’d be completely insufferable if more people did it. The fate of the world is in her hands. She can’t let everyone down! ]

Okay, if you insist!

[ And of course they’re brand new Phoenix Ranger Featherman R figures. 1/8 scale. And yeah, they’re a little pricy, but not too bad, considering. They’re more than ¥10,000 online but in-store sales are always nicer for those willing to bargain hunt, so sending Ryuji to stake out the neighborhood shops does actually come in handy. ]