bakerstreet | they live inside us

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they live inside us

FIGHTING YOUR INNER DEMONS

Everybody has them. Some are louder than others. Some are stronger. Some are overwhelming, and sooner or later you just give up fighting. But there are other people around you who want to help you - maybe they're suffering too, either because of your inner monster or their own. Or maybe they're one of the lucky ones with demons that don't howl so much.

You can help each other. It's better than the alternative.

Leave top levels with your character name and info.
Specify what you're running from, or if you're running at all, or if you just want to help.
Details may be useful, but are certainly not necessary.
Tag around for great drama and profit.

Warning: responses to this meme could potentially contain triggering material.

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[The cat seems to have no trouble staying on his shoulder, at least, even when Aoba starts running. As Aoba passes the branching pathways, the side passages disappear in a puff of smoke, and then reappear ahead. Any time he passes them by, they disappear, and reappear in front of him, as if to entice him.

[Touma's voice isn't getting any closer, even as his quiet sobbing resounds in the sickening rhythm. It doesn't seem like he could hear Aoba.]

S-stop...! Die, you... ahh...! Go die!! F-fuck off and die! Get out of me and die!!

Hm? Well, I'm certainly getting my fuck on. I don't get why you are so resistant, especially after your pussy likes to soften up whenever I touch it. It's certainly hugging my cock so cutely. You're so alluring, Touma~

Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off!!

[The little flame feline on Aoba's shoulder mews at him, its coloration shifting from pure blue to yellow again, but its eyes remain the same blue color, like at the center of a flame, and it bounds ahead of Aoba, glancing back every so often at him. If Aoba looks, it suddenly stops at a spot in the middle of the pathway. Of course, Aoba can keep running if he wants to - the cat won't leave him to run alone.]

[ The sound is making Aoba feel dizzy, angry, hot and uncomfortable. His fingers ball into fists, his nails digging into his palms to stop them twitching. It's like he wants to tear his skin off, or tear into someone else. His head throbs with that familiar instruction - destroy - and Aoba huffs out a frustrated breath, like he's saying I know but ultimately ignoring it for the time being. All that matters right now is finding him.

He almost misses the little cat stopping in his race to get to.. wherever he's going. Touma's voice isn't getting closer and its frustrating to the point where Aoba is gritting his teeth, because while Touma gets muffled the other voice rings out like a bell and it only makes Aoba feel worse. He can't begin to imagine how it's making Touma feel.

He stops when the warmth goes from his shoulder, slowing his pace to look at the cat and the spot it's stopped in. Figuring he has nothing to lose, he slows completely and stands beside the cat, panting, looking around and wondering why it's stopped where it has. ]

[In essence, they've been running in a circle. A short one, and with no curves to speak of, but a circle nevertheless. The cat mews at him again when Aoba stops to look, and then walks through the wall. In its wake, it illuminates another path, as if the wall wasn't solid, but opening up like the mouth of a cavern.

[Other than the blazing fire of the small cat, illuminating everything in its immediate vicinity, and a little bit then some, it's completely dark.

[In the darkness, the cat seems much bigger than it really is, with the warmth it casts along the uneven walls, each strand of fur delicately articulated like a real one rather than one made of flames.

[Cats are truly Touma's deepest passion, after all. When it mews at Aoba, its voice is more audible.

[In here, it's damp and humid, but Touma's voice is louder, echoing as if nearby whenever it rings out. In here, his attacker's voice is muffled.]

Please die...! I don't want to die! I don't want to give up!

[Disjointed, as if not a part of the same consciousness, Touma's voice continues,] This sucks. Just.. Aoba... Aoba, I... I want to be good enough for you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm like this. I'm... sure you're just revolted by me. I guess, me reaching out to you was too much. The date... doubtless I've ruined it.

Why do I have to think of this bastard now? With my own two hands, with my voice, my conviction, I... I threw him in jail where he belongs.

Even now he ruins what I'm trying so hard to build in life, and I don't know how to stop it. I'm sorry, Aoba. I'm... I'm sorry that you've wasted valuable time with me. I'm sorry that I'm broken, that I'm...

I've come so far. Why can't I move past it fast enough?

Aoba, dating you... I've felt happy. So very happy. In ways I didn't know I could feel.

Even if you never take my hand again -- you have your reasons for rejecting me, I know. Please... just this last time, help me...?

Please help me.... I'll leave your life afterward. I just. I don't want to drown in this again....

So... you're in love with Aoba? [The attacker's voice from before rang out clearly behind him.] What a pervert, going after someone almost a full decade younger than you. How could you want to be embraced by someone who will likely reject you as soon as he finds out you're not a real man?

No... he's already rejected you. In your hour of need, when you reached to him, he never took your hand, did he? You could see the disgust in his eyes, couldn't you? Don't worry. I'm the only one you'll ever have. I'm the only one who will never reject you. I'm the only one who understands that you didn't want to be born this way.

[Touma's voice doesn't answer, save for a soft, strangled sound.]

[ Aoba watches with wide eyes as the cat slinks its tiny body through the wall, lighting up the space behind like a beacon, like a lighthouse on a dark night; Aoba inexplicably finds himself trusting the animal like it's part of his family, because of the warmth it emits or the bright eyes that blink back at him, and follows behind without taking even a moments pause.

Touma sounds.. so scared, so upset, so torn and so broken. It makes Aoba's heart ache and his head throb, but this isn't about him and what he's feeling.. it's about Touma. ]

Touma.. What are you saying?

[ Aoba's own inhibitions have clearly held them both back, his self-born reserves about taking too much now that he knows he can, and breaking things without meaning to. When Touma had reached out to him Aoba had wanted desperately to link their fingers and squeeze tight, to grab on and stay there till the world settled around them and they came back to each other. But he didn't, out of some dumb childish fear, from a tiny sliver of worry that maybe he doesn't deserve this or isn't good enough or careful enough yet.

He slowly walks around the pitch black room, with a hand outstretched to guide the cat, or to reach for what he's looking for. He's trying to figure out where the voice was coming from, but it never seems to get any louder or quieter, like Touma is everywhere without being here. Like he's hiding. ]

I told you, didn't I? You don't have to apologise to me, for anything. If anyone should be apologising here, it's me. I keep wanting you to open up to me and tell me everything, let yourself be close to me.. but I haven't even tried to do the same. I haven't told you how wonderfully terrified being with you makes me feel, because it's so good, too good to be true. I haven't told you anything about what I've done, what I can do, this -- [ He gestures around them with both hands, palms flat and fingers open. ] I.. haven't even invited you back to meet Granny. [ His voice sounds soft, a little sad, but more than that the emotion it holds rings out in the dark room. He just wants to reach him, and if he can't with his hands then he will with his voice. ]

What happened to you.. It doesn't define you, it isn't who you are. The person you are is the man you are when you're with me. The one who.. plays that cat game at the table, offers to take me out and brings me gifts, who blushes when I pet his hair and squeezes my hand when we're walking together..

[ The thought makes him smile, because they were happy then and more than anything Aoba wants Touma to remember how happy he can be, how good life can be. ]

I should have taken your hand and pulled you close to me, held you till all this went away, but.. but I panicked, I didn't trust myself. [ A pause, and Aoba looks at the little fire cat for a moment. ] But I trust you, and how can I expect you to trust me back if I don't? You haven't ruined anything, you've just taught me to be brave. Let me take you away from all this..

[ Aoba feels the painful twinge behind his eyes again, and knows what he has to do but.. he needs something to focus on, needs a point to begin with. He needs-- he needs... ]

Touma. Don't hide from me. [ Aoba's voice is low, soft, almost a whisper. ] I like you for who you are and nothing - physical or emotional - will change that. Come back to me.

[The cat continues to lead on, and on, until there's a clearing. It's still dark, but it's warm. It's warm, and the light that shines in from the larger flame cat and illuminates an office. The surroundings are a mess, the desk overturned, the chair broken into pieces. There's a body on the floor, prone and bleeding, of a man with darker skin and pitch black hair. Blood streaks the floor and the walls, and, further over, a person.

[Touma.

[He's holding the broken leg of the chair, the fragmented end stained with blood. His skin is streaked with it, his hair it's normal shortness on one side, and uncannily long on the other. From his roots, his hair is its normal almost pitch-black, but the closer to the longer ends, Aoba may notice the similarity in his and Touma's hair has a gradient from dark to light. At the very ends of the longest strands, they look almost sunbleached gray. Furthermore, that side of his face is adorned in makeup - faint enough to be unnoticeable, except when compared to his lips and eyes, where the addition of color and shadow is most prominent.

[The rest of him is completely unchanged.

[It doesn't take much for him to notice Aoba at all. His gaze is hesitant, searching, tone soft in wonder.]

Aoba...?

[Somehow, it doesn't feel wrong to see him here. He briefly closes his eyes to ground himself. Here, the pounding heartbeat is strongest, it's noisy, but.. the surrounding sounds, and their voices are somehow amplified for it. Not uncomfortably so, of course.

[The figure on the floor starts to get up, his black suit seeming to stretch out along the shadows in the floor like ooze. Touma doesn't seem to notice, or even react right now to it, and the slick, almost lewd sounds that emanate from the figure not three feet behind him.]

...You're young. Don't feel like I've blamed you for anything.

But, take me away? From what? I can't run away from what happened to me. I've faced it off so much before, what's a little longer?

[Brow furrowing, he brandishes the chair leg to the side, pauses in his words for a moment, and delivers another swift, brutal swing (with both hands) of the chair leg to the back of the man's head. The leg breaks in half in the impact. The man groans and partially explodes into a shower of blood, but Touma's anger isn't abated. Not even remotely so. He sighs, and picks up another chair leg.]

I know it's not my fault, that he raped me, that he tried to impregnate me - and thank god and dear god for the fact that I was born sterile! I was a fool to ever show vulnerability, to mention that I was considering killing myself to him. I was a fool to ever think killing myself was the answer.

He's not dead. He'll be back on the streets in less than thirteen years. His connections let him get off easy for his crimes. He'll likely come after me again, and I have to never forget how it felt to be abused. To be blackmailed because I'm intersex! I have to never forget what he did to me and how it felt!

I must never forget that he always denied me the comfort of his absence! Even now, his physical absence only brings me a modicum of respite! I have to stay prepared until the day he dies!

[Slowly, the body behind him starts to pull itself back together.]

[ Hearing the way Touma speaks to him, soft but barely there, and the way he says you're young as if he's setting them apart by miles cuts into Aoba like a knife. His expression doesn't betray it, though. Instead his eyebrows pinch more at the middle to leave him looking even more determined to pull Touma out of this. He talks like he's lost hope, like he's resigned himself to the fact that he's stuck here. Like he's gotten used to all the violence, all the blood.

It's oozing from the mess in a slow crawl, getting closer to where Aoba stands with every moment he spends looking on at the carnage. He can relate to the want to destroy the man on the floor, Aoba holds a great deal of anger toward him too, though it must pale in comparison to what Touma feels... but he still flinches at the strike, or maybe just at the violence behind Touma's movements, since he's so used to see him be soft and gentle with him.

Aoba doesn't know what to do. He's dealt with murderous intent before, he's delt with trauma before, but it's never felt so.. visceral to him. It's never felt so warped, so twisted, and it's never hurt his heart quite like this. The only thing he can think of is--

He moves forward, approaching Touma head on, the front of him, with his arms raised in acceptance, in plea-- When he comes close, even though Touma is covered in blood, Aoba presses himself against the other man, his head dipping down to rest on his shoulder, palms coming up to circle around his neck. It's terrifying to do this without asking, without being sure, but he needs to show Touma that even like this, with all this happening, Aoba is still here and always will be. ]

You don't need to forget. [ He says quietly, calmly, shutting his eyes despite the forming body in his line of sight, despite the hot and sickly scent of iron that tints the air. ] But you do need to put it behind you. He's taken enough from you, don't let him take any more. Turn the pain and anger around, turn it into strength, lean on me. [ His hands tighten so that he's basically clinging to Touma, his face pressed against the side of his face with the longer hair, and he turns and presses a soft kiss to his cheek before speaking again. ] You're not alone. You don't have to live with him plaguing you like this. For now he's gone, he can't hurt you, and in the future I won't let him hurt you again. Just trust me.

[ He flicks his eyes open, gold irises watching the ooze of the body on the floor, watching as it takes shape and.. feeling his fury rise. The fury shared by the two of them as they stand, chest to chest, hearts thrumming against one another. ]

If you don't feel strong enough, lean on me. [ He says again, voice a little lower, a little more.. dangerous. ] Let me destroy him for you.

[Touma startles, but only drops the weapon. Eyes wide, he feels a sense of alarm that Aoba's getting that disgusting blood all over himself. He's fine with being dirty, himself (no he's not,) since he's used to it (he hates it,) but Aoba is--

[He listens, though. Still and quiet and listening, surprise melting into a sort of calm. The more Aoba talks, the more he listens, watches him look away. He notices the body of Kagaya reforming, and starting to push himself up into a sitting position.

[He needs to kill him again. Before he can touch him again. Before he can--

[Aoba's words pierce through the mania, and he pulls his boyfriend close again, pressing a firm kiss to his lips without any sense of hesitation. Ah-- he craves, he craves and needs and wants and Aoba is here.]

Aoba..? Show me? Show me, later, so there's no more room for doubt...

I need to see that my body doesn't disgust you.

[Kagaya starts to get up, starts to turn around, and Touma, seeing movement in the corner of his vision, instinctively clings onto Aoba, burying his head against his boyfriend's shoulder to block it out as fright shakes him to the core.]

Aoba...!!

[As he turns to see them, Kagaya's bloody grin is manic, dark eyes wide and body uncannily relaxed. He tries to talk, but his body hasn't fully healed yet; nothing but a gurgling sound comes out.]

[ The idea of being responsible for the happiness of someone who's been through so much hardship is more than a little shell-shocking, but Aoba has decided and is firm in the decision; he can't be afraid of what ifs, because if he is then he'll miss out on what could be, and when he's holding Touma and looking at him and seeing affection in the eyes that meet his, he knows he couldn't bear to miss out on this.

When Touma kisses him Aoba almost loses the hold he has on his anger, feeling it doused by his own cravings, by how weakened his heart feels when it's in Touma's hands. There's blood on his mouth and a dazed quality to his eyes as he looks int his boyfriend's face, but he has enough sensibility to nod, to keep nodding. ]

I'll show you. When we're out of here I'll show you.

[ His anger is soon wrenched right back as the creep starts to turn, starts to advance, frightens Touma to the point that he's shaking. Like a loyal dog, Aoba's teeth grit and he almost growls-- he won't let this happen again, how dare this asshole even try.

He fixes the almost fully formed vision of Touma's abuser with a lethally sharp stare, his eyes focused like pinpricks and glistening like molten lava. He keeps an arm around Touma, tight and secure, and raises the other with a palm outstreched, reaching for what he was looking for. This. To do what he does best and destroy. ]

Die.

[ The moment the word leaves his mouth it's like a fire starts in the figures stomach, blossoming in long yellowy licks of flame, blue at the tips. Aoba watches as the ooze catches alight from point to point, like a cat chasing a mouse, bubbles and sears the body of the creature before them. He watches right through until the form starts to crumple and fall, till the flames die and all that's left is a scorch on the ground.

A second or two passes, and then the world around them starts to splinter like paint cracking, letting through light and warmth, and in another few seconds of squinting against the light the sounds of the festival soak back through, the air goes chilled from the late hour of the evening, and the office falls away to be replaced by the alleyway Touma had hidden away in.

Aoba opens his eyes, sees Touma sitting in front of him, and immediately reaches out to take one of Touma's hands in his, fingers squeezing his palm as though it's all he needs to reassure him. ]

Edited 2018-08-13 10:30 (UTC)

[Viewing things through his distorted lens, Touma honestly isn't intending to ask Aoba to be responsible for his happiness. Rather, he only needs affirmation of the truth of the matter.

[But he's not thinking of that now, as he clings onto his boyfriend for dear life. He's not even aware of the shift of things, and--

[He's still unconscious at first, but he stirs as he feels contact along his hand. He squeezes back in reflex, and slowly, hesitantly, opens his eyes. It takes him a few seconds to fully wake up, not really a morning person if he can help it, so for now, he just blinks sleepily at Aoba.]

Oh... did I... pass out? I'm s... [He catches himself, stops, starts again.] I guess I needed it.

[Smiling shyly, he squeezes Aoba's hand again, and then reaches out to pull him close into a hug, so he can bury his face against the younger man's shoulder.]

Aoba...

[Although he's just tasting his name, so to speak, there's no denying the raw affection seeping through his voice.]

Just... for a little bit, okay? I'm tired....

[He still feels cold, a little shaky (though his trembling has massively subsided,) but the weight of a panic attack is heavy. His whole body still feels the impact of it, even rid of the source as it is. It still happened, and it was still hell on his body.]

Panicking always makes me bone tired. I'm...not gonna sleep. I just. Need a moment.

[But there was something about the moment he was passed out....]

I dreamed a little, I think. There was a very adorable cat made of fire, with eyes just the palest color of your hair. Like it carried a bright, warm world in its heart.

So cute....

And you were there, too, I think. I don't remember what I heard, but it was definitely your voice.

Definitely.

[ Touma opening his eyes gives Aoba an instant wave of relief that brings a light smile to his face.. one that only widens when he blinks sleepily up at him. It's.. painfully cute, so Aoba goes into the hug easily, nestling his nose under the rounded part of Touma's jaw. ]

It's alright, take as long as you need. [ Aoba says quietly, shifting his knees just a little so that he can sit half between Touma's legs and half to the side of the wall. It makes it clear that he has no intention of moving any time soon, not until Touma is ready to leave. He won't make the mistake of refusing his wishes twice.

His expression goes fond when Touma describes his 'dream' and Aoba hums in thought as he hides a knowing smile in the hair at the nape of his neck. ]

You even dream about cats, huh? [ He lets out a gentle laugh, squeezes Touma a little to make it clear he's playing around, and then continues: ] You're the cute one.

[ He wonders if perhaps he should tell Touma about his ability, about what he'd done.. but he figures there's always time for that later. Right now Touma has been through enough, is exhausted in a way Aoba can't even begin to imagine, so he'll save it for a time when he'll be able to process such impossible information a little easier. He wonders what Blossom thinks of him now, if she understands any of what just happened. He should probably get Ren out and make sure all his own vital signs are doing okay - his eyes ache, there's a dull throb at the back of his head - but he's loathe to move even an inch away from the warmth of his boyfriend. ]

Mm, I'm glad I could be there. Even if you don't remember what we talked about.

[Blossom is honestly just happy that his companion is doing better. Whatever happened, it did for a reason, and he can tell that Touma's own signals have substantially calmed down. So for now, he doesn't comment on the fact that whatever happened between them made it seem like a sudden case of narcolepsy as far as appearances are concerned.

[As it is, Touma just huffs at the "cute" comment.]

Of course I dream of cats. I adore them.

[A beat, and he opens his eyes for a moment before closing them again.]

...I adore you. And I've never met a dog that was even half as adorable as Ren.

[Frowning a little, he murmurs,] So.. I still have some recovery to do. From... my experiences. But, I've been thinking, lately... it might be nice to be... physically intimate. With you. N-not... not that I'm intending to sound pushy about it. I don't... want to go too fast. Or, well. I don't know how fast is too fast or too slow and I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

But even though my chromosomes are XY, my body...is weird looking. My abuser... he thought that he could continue his family line using my body. Because.. I have most of the anatomy necessary to do so. I don't have everything necessary either way, and so, even if I wanted children of my own genetics, that's... impossible. So, um, if you ever decide that you want children, I... I can't give you biological ones. I mean, even knowing you're a guy and I'm a guy and that was an obvious thing... ahhh...

[Although he's nervous, he doesn't let go of Aoba.]

And, uh. Anyway. I rely on injected hormones just to function. Because I don't... exactly have testicles at all. I get stabbed in the ass about once a month and I get a little hyped up for a few weeks and...

I get... really... excited super easy.

And it's embarrassing.

...Um. I guess I'm just really tired. And lower hormones since it's been a bit. My thoughts are all over the place right now.

[ Aoba's breath catches at that, because even though he knew it was true before this and even though he still has that nasty-voiced claim rattling around his head, that makes his heart race despite the situation it had come from - You're in love with Aoba? - he still finds it amazing and wonderful and a host of other things he doesn't have the words to articulate. He's been special to someone before, to Granny, his parents, Koujaku, but.. like this? It's different. His heart is in his throat, stopping him from replying but if he could, if he could, he'd say--

But then there's.. that. And Aoba's face erupts into color, flushing right to the tips of his ears so that they burn with heat. Touma just admitted to being sexually attracted to him, to wanting to have sex with him or at the very least.. mess around.. and Aoba swallows as his mouth suddenly becomes very wet. It makes him smile, though, the kind of smile a kid might have at the news that he's being taken to a theme park, a tentatively excited smile, a smile that wonders is this too good to be true?

He draws back, just a bit, just enough to look at Touma's face as he rambles (cute, Aoba thinks again, he's so cute) then when the words die out, he lifts Touma's chin and presses their lips together in a chaste kiss that's full of intention, a promise. ]

I'd like that. All of that. All of you. [ Do these two just.. ramble when they're nervous? It seems so. Aoba chews a bit on his lip, and then.. ] I like you. A lot. I'm still.. figuring it out, in my head, but I don't think there's anything you could do, say or be that would make me feel any other way.

[Even when he feels Aoba pull back a bit, he doesn't follow, preferring his position right now. Even so, he's a little surprised (but not startled) when Aoba lifts his chin. He lets him, of course - Aoba's touch is familiar enough that he sees no reason to deny him - but the kiss.

[The kiss promptly brings a rush of blood to his cheeks, and he's struck silent for a moment. It's enough for him to remain quiet while he listens to Aoba, the blush on his face darkening further in a hurry.

[No, he thinks. There are definitely some lines you probably won't cross, if I did those things, but fortunately...

[That train of thought quieting, Touma very carefully cups the nape of Aoba's neck, mindful of his hair (he was paying attention whenever he saw that Aoba didn't like the contact to his hair) and gently pulls him back into another kiss.

[His isn't a one-and-done, but something a bit more long-winded. At once, he realizes he really likes how Aoba's lips feel against his own. His single kiss transitions into another, and even a third.

[Even so, he's keenly aware of Aoba's body language and any tension. If Aoba shows even the slightest sign of not wanting to continue, he'll stop.]

Mmh- [ Aoba makes a soft sound of surprise at being pulled back in quite so quickly after their lips part, but he definitely isn't complaining. That much is evident from the way his shoulders curve in, making his body lean in so that he's pressing just that little bit closer to Touma's chest.

He lets out a slow breath between kisses, a kind of ahh sound that spills hot air between their lips and captures pockets of it with every kiss. Aoba is fast becoming familiar with Touma's firm upper lip and his plush lower one, finding that he likes to press the purse of his own lips to Touma's bottom one to feel the bounce back and.. and to feel where his lips part, feel the entrance to the inside of Touma's mouth that Aoba can't stop thinking about.

The thought alone makes him lick his lips, and only when he tastes something unfamiliar does he double take. He just.. he just licked Touma's lips. By accident, but also entirely on purpose. His ears are burning again, but he doesn't draw away or apologise because.. well, he doesn't want to. In fact, after a short pause, he does it again. ]

[In answer to the lick, Touma lets out a soft groan, and then again when Aoba repeats it. He licks him back, shivering as restraint slowly takes the back seat, and he tugs Aoba a little closer, using a hand on his boyfriend's lower back. Dimly, he's aware that he could have picked a better place than an alleyway, but right now, he just wants to feel him.

[Even as every kiss stirs something familiar, low in his hips.]

Aoba... ahh...

[He kisses him again, and again, and, shyly, tries to find Aoba's tongue so he can lick that, too.]

[ Aoba also has very little restraint when it comes to something he wants, and what he wants right now is pulling him closer via a slender hand on his back, is kissing him deeply, licking his tongue, gasping his name albeit quietly..

Aoba shifts, moving himself better in front of Touma, edging between his legs and raising a hand to press over his chest as they kiss. He's clearly not concerned about the location nor the situation they're currently in.

He lets his mouth open so Touma can follow his tongue inside, and gasps out a half-groan-half-moan at the feeling of it sliding across his teeth, meeting and twirling with his tongue. There's a similar heat awakening in Aoba, though he isn't worried about the concequences.. he'd much rather get as much kissing done as he can. ]

Mmm- T-Touma..!

[Touma lets him move closer, spreads his legs a bit in invitation, too. Touma's kiss is not particularly refined - rather than going for any sort of smooth move, his touch is soft and curious and eager. The pressure against his chest feels good without being overwhelming (his chest - nipples in particular - have always been embarrassingly sensitive) and hearing his name on Aoba's lips makes him shiver.

[Fuck.

[He doesn't even care that Blossom is still awake and probably staring at him, too. Tasting Aoba's words on his tongue is heaven, even if those words are only half-focused. His own body eagerly reacts, and, giving Aoba's tongue another firm lick, he pulls his tongue back a bit to see if Aoba's will follow.

[He should.. speak up about this. Talk it out before they get too taken in by each other. The weight that he's likely to be asking Aoba to tolerate just because he's---

[Strangely, his worries don't feel quite so heavy. Not quite so oppressive.]

[ Aoba of course follows Touma's intention, chasing his tongue with his own like he's hungry for it.. and as he makes contact once again and feels a shudder ripple down his spine, he realises that he is hungry for it. His mind is rattling with pink-tinted thoughts about what Touma had said to him - Show me, later, I need to see that my body doesn't disgust you - and how he'd said he would, and how Touma had confessed to getting excited easily and how he himself still has the libido of a teenager and can get going with very little encouragement most times--- Ah, this is so dangerous.

Aoba has this constant feeling of everything being so good but nowhere near enough all at once, and it's dizzying enough that he almost feels like he has a headache, like pressure building in not only his head but his body, too. He wants to move and go and do more but he can't bring himself to make this stop, even as his fingertips creep under Touma's collar, past that unfastened button, hot points of his fingers laying against his collarbone. Like he's asking for permission. ]

[Feeling Aoba's touch against his lightly-exposed skin, Touma remembers himself. He softens the kiss, panting, and gently pulls his lips away with a shiver.]

I'm... not too keen on doing more than this in public. And I'm likely to want to do more if we keep going.

[There's no way he can hide how his breath his heavier than usual, how the flush of arousal has darkened his eyes. How the flush spreads along his neck and even past the collar of his shirt.

[At a glance, he can see that Aoba's similarly affected, and he flashes a soft, shy, little smile.]

I think your place is closer, but.. if you don't mind the extra walk, we can hit my apartment for guaranteed privacy. If you want to.

[While he quite enjoyed Tae-san's company as well, there was just something about not wanting to have her in the house if he was going to be heavily making out with - and possibly having sex with - her grandson.]

[ Aoba's lips tingle without the feeling of Touma's against them, and they feel cold despite both of them panting out gasps of hot air. It's probably got something to do with how wet they are, glistening and pink from their efforts. Aoba runs his tongue across his bottom one, tasting his boyfriend and - perhaps on purpose - looking a little sultry as he does it.

He nods his head, offering a little mmhmm in response to everything Touma said. He wants to, he doesn't mind the walk, he's also going to want more if they keep at this... Honestly, the idea of being lewd in public is becoming a much smaller problem the longer Aoba looks into Touma's lust-darkened eyes. But as much as he's loathe to stop and as pleasure-drunk as he feels, above all else he wants Touma to be comfortable.

He shuffles back on almost wobbly legs, then gets to his feet with only minor difficulty given how tight his jeans suddenly feel, before offering both hands out to help the other up. ]

If we go down this alley a little more, and turn left- [ He sounds like he's run a marathon, but his brain is alert enough to recall shortcuts Ren has taken him down on delivery drop offs. Most of all, though.. he sounds eager. ] -We'll get back to the main road quicker. And we won't have to push back through the festival crowd.

Mm. Alright.

[Touma accepts the help up, and then bends back down to gently lift Blossom back up (who absolutely is still alert) and back into his bag before setting the large AllMate into sleep mode. He takes just a moment to make sure that his AllMate will be comfortable when he wakes up before lifting up the bag and hefting it over his shoulder.

[Once he's sure that they're both ready to go, Touma reaches out in turn to try and take Aoba's hand, if he'll let him, so that they can remain in contact while they walk.

[Aoba, after all, isn't the only one visibly aroused. Touma's not dressed up for work, after all, so even his own jeans feel tighter than usual. Furthermore, he knows his boxers are soaked from it. It's a miracle it hasn't soaked through to the denim at this point.]

I'll try to remember this route. It'll make things easier for me in case there's another crowd.

[ Aoba is only a little shy as he watches Blossom's very present form being appropriately stored for travel. He knows there's probably AllMates out there who've seen worse - Ren has accidentally seen a lot worse once or twice - but the knowledge that it's stored on their system till manually locked or deleted is.. Well. He knows Blossom wouldn't bring it up to embarrass him, he doesn't have that kind of personality, nor will he really mind... but still Aoba feels a little guilty over it.

He takes Touma's hand happily, lacing their fingers in a way thats fast becoming natural, and starts to lead the way. ]

You'll have to thank Ren. I tweaked with some of his map settings so he'd be able to give me real time updates, so when I'm running late with deliveries I don't get too told off on the other end.

[ He laughs, softly. It's.. kind of surreal to be talking about something as mundane as Aoba's habit of being late after what they'd just been doing, and in the state they're in.. but it also feels kind of nice because there isn't an inch of awkwardness between them. Once they make it to the main road, Aoba gives Touma's hand a squeeze. ]

Lead the way. [ Then, after a pause. ] I'm kind of excited to see where you live. I wonder if it's like I imagined.

[Honestly, Touma doesn't like to tamper with Blossom's memories if at all possible. Blossom is more than just an AllMate to him - they're partners. Touma's in charge of Blossom's care, and Blossom is in charge of helping Touma take care of himself. As they're off, Touma idly strokes Blossom's fur for a few seconds to help ground himself more. His fur is so soft to the touch, the synthetic fibers feeling like the real thing.]

I'll have to check Blossom's settings. His feedback has a few minutes' delay, but I'm sure his processors could handle something a bit more active.

[He squeezes Aoba's hand back, and nods, raising an eyebrow at what he says next.]

Only kind of? I see. [The soft smile he sports hopefully conveys the fact that he's only poking fun at his choice of words, but not the sentiment, in spite of his deadpan tone. Hopefully.] What have you imagined about it, if you don't mind me asking?

[If only so he can mull over what Aoba's perception of him is like. He's curious.

[For now, he leads the way, and, using the landmarks and road signs as a guide, leads. Compared to the Residential District, Touma's apartment is in the space rather close to where Platinum Jail once stood, while being just shy of the notorious Northern District* as well. In the spaces between, it had a mingling of both slightly more upper-class-like folks, as well as those who, at a purely guess-fueled glance, had possibly been up to no real good. Theoretically.

[But it was his home. He'd come to the island right before the ports had closed.

[As it is, Touma leads them easily, using his senses and instinct to use the paths of least occupancy. He knows these routes well, once he finds a path he's used to treading, in his efforts to visit Aoba.]

[ He gives Touma a soft nudge for that, though he knows he's joking. It's just nice to have this, to have whatever they say to one another be taken with only the utmost affection, to not have to be quite so tentative or wary.. like this, Aoba feels like they've opened up a new door to something much more alive. Or maybe he's just really turned on right now. Or both. ]

Hmm.. That it's clean, probably.. medium sized? Or small. Tidy. Books here and there, one of those crazy comfortable cat bed things. Or a cat tower. [ Aoba has actually thought about it much more than he'd like to admit, in that wistful way people who haven't moved out of their family home daydream about moving in with a lover, being in a place where there's no-one to tell you to pick up your laundry, where you don't have to worry too much about being quiet or polite.. ] I definitely don't think you have as many trinkets laying around as Granny does..

[ He's barely watching their surroundings as he walks, which he only realises once they've made it a good portion of the way there, and then curses himself for. He'll have to wake Ren up later and tell him to save this location so he can make his way here again some time. ]

Hmmm. You'll have to see then, won't you?

[He's certainly not about to confirm or deny things. Let Aoba see how close or far he is for himself. He squeezes his hand with a soft laugh.]

I haven't been alive as long as Tae-san. Not as long to accrue things.

[But... that was fine. Thankfully, they arrive shortly, and it's one of the more recent-ish complexes by comparison. Some of the technology has been updated to allow for key cards, but Touma, instead, pulls out a simple key that has a black lucky cat charm attached to it. Entering the complex, they ascend a few flights of stairs - the elevator is old and makes him nervous to use it - and unlocks one of the doors. From the front, even before entering, there's a narrow veranda that they walked along, and, opening the door, he lets Aoba in first before closing up behind them both. The entryway is short, leading to a sparse living room. To the right is a small closet, and next to it, the water heater in a narrow room adjacent. In the living room, a cozy couch that has seen a few better days sprawls against the wall, parallel to a low glass table with a few cat-shaped trinkets (they look like they're made of ocean-smoothed rock) on its surface and a pristine marble ash tray. It has a little bit of dust on it. The table is also home to a few condensation stains, lacking coasters with which to mitigate them.

[A single cat bed rests next to the couch, along with a well-used, tall scratching post that also doubles as a cat tree. Touma takes a moment to gently pick Blossom out of the bag in order to set him comfortably in the cat bed on the floor, fingertips affectionately smoothing out his fur and adjusting his body's position to be comfortable, as if Blossom was a flesh and blood feline that needed assistance.

[A bit further ahead is a decidedly larger kitchen and adjoining dining room. The wall ahead leads to another veranda that looks out towards where Platinum Jail once sat, though it's without any furniture other than a clothes line.

[If one instead were to go left, instead of right, to the kitchen, Touma's bedroom is there, as is the bathroom, linen closet, and washer. Those doors are closed.

[The kitchen is the most vibrant, the countertops home to containers of loose leaf tea and several cat-print tea and coffee mugs. Many of them are matching, but it looks like only one of each set has ever really been touched. Silhouette shapes are a common theme among them. A pair of detailed stone figures of kittens are surrounding a salt and pepper shaker on the dining room table, posed deliberately to make them look like they're playing together.

[Even the wall clock between the living room and kitchen is cat-themed, albeit also a silhouette shape, its forepaws serving as the hour and minute hands, and its tail swaying to keep time of the seconds. On a table just beneath the clock, a picture in a frame sits, depicting a very slightly younger Touma with an older man and woman. The resemblance between them is obvious - the woman shares Touma's hair color, if faded like an overcast sky, and streaked with gray, and the man has thinning black hair. They're all smiling brightly for the camera. Furthermore, Touma's barely taller than the woman in the picture, and the man is definitely taller than the both of them.

[The place is otherwise nigh-immaculate, even Spartan in nature, other than those little notes of individuality, almost as if Touma's worried about intruding into his own space. Either way, he doesn't say much, and just lets Aoba look around as he pleases.]

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cw: past suicidal ideation, rape, abuse, etc

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*I don't actually remember what the distract close to where Mink and the like were is called, sorry!

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...*district XD;