they live inside us

[thememening]

FIGHTING YOUR INNER DEMONS

Everybody has them. Some are louder than others. Some are stronger. Some are overwhelming, and sooner or later you just give up fighting. But there are other people around you who want to help you - maybe they're suffering too, either because of your inner monster or their own. Or maybe they're one of the lucky ones with demons that don't howl so much.

You can help each other. It's better than the alternative.

• Leave top levels with your character name and info.
  
• Specify what you're running from, or if you're running at all, or if you just want to help.
  
• Details may be useful, but are certainly not necessary.
  
• Tag around for great drama and profit.

Warning: responses to this meme could potentially contain triggering material.

Comments

*I don't actually remember what the distract close to where Mink and the like were is called, sorry!

[luculence]

[Honestly, Touma doesn't like to tamper with Blossom's memories if at all possible. Blossom is more than just an AllMate to him - they're partners. Touma's in charge of Blossom's care, and Blossom is in charge of helping Touma take care of himself. As they're off, Touma idly strokes Blossom's fur for a few seconds to help ground himself more. His fur is so soft to the touch, the synthetic fibers feeling like the real thing.]

I'll have to check Blossom's settings. His feedback has a few minutes' delay, but I'm sure his processors could handle something a bit more active.

[He squeezes Aoba's hand back, and nods, raising an eyebrow at what he says next.]

Only kind of? I see. [The soft smile he sports hopefully conveys the fact that he's only poking fun at his choice of words, but not the sentiment, in spite of his deadpan tone. Hopefully.] What have you imagined about it, if you don't mind me asking?

[If only so he can mull over what Aoba's perception of him is like. He's curious.

[For now, he leads the way, and, using the landmarks and road signs as a guide, leads. Compared to the Residential District, Touma's apartment is in the space rather close to where Platinum Jail once stood, while being just shy of the notorious Northern District* as well. In the spaces between, it had a mingling of both slightly more upper-class-like folks, as well as those who, at a purely guess-fueled glance, had possibly been up to no real good. Theoretically.

[But it was his home. He'd come to the island right before the ports had closed.

[As it is, Touma leads them easily, using his senses and instinct to use the paths of least occupancy. He knows these routes well, once he finds a path he's used to treading, in his efforts to visit Aoba.]

[cosmo_call]

[ He gives Touma a soft nudge for that, though he knows he's joking. It's just nice to have this, to have whatever they say to one another be taken with only the utmost affection, to not have to be quite so tentative or wary.. like this, Aoba feels like they've opened up a new door to something much more alive. Or maybe he's just really turned on right now. Or both. ]

Hmm.. That it's clean, probably.. medium sized? Or small. Tidy. Books here and there, one of those crazy comfortable cat bed things. Or a cat tower. [ Aoba has actually thought about it much more than he'd like to admit, in that wistful way people who haven't moved out of their family home daydream about moving in with a lover, being in a place where there's no-one to tell you to pick up your laundry, where you don't have to worry too much about being quiet or polite.. ] I definitely don't think you have as many trinkets laying around as Granny does..

[ He's barely watching their surroundings as he walks, which he only realises once they've made it a good portion of the way there, and then curses himself for. He'll have to wake Ren up later and tell him to save this location so he can make his way here again some time. ]

...*district XD;

[luculence]

Hmmm. You'll have to see then, won't you?

[He's certainly not about to confirm or deny things. Let Aoba see how close or far he is for himself. He squeezes his hand with a soft laugh.]

I haven't been alive as long as Tae-san. Not as long to accrue things.

[But... that was fine. Thankfully, they arrive shortly, and it's one of the more recent-ish complexes by comparison. Some of the technology has been updated to allow for key cards, but Touma, instead, pulls out a simple key that has a black lucky cat charm attached to it. Entering the complex, they ascend a few flights of stairs - the elevator is old and makes him nervous to use it - and unlocks one of the doors. From the front, even before entering, there's a narrow veranda that they walked along, and, opening the door, he lets Aoba in first before closing up behind them both. The entryway is short, leading to a sparse living room. To the right is a small closet, and next to it, the water heater in a narrow room adjacent. In the living room, a cozy couch that has seen a few better days sprawls against the wall, parallel to a low glass table with a few cat-shaped trinkets (they look like they're made of ocean-smoothed rock) on its surface and a pristine marble ash tray. It has a little bit of dust on it. The table is also home to a few condensation stains, lacking coasters with which to mitigate them.

[A single cat bed rests next to the couch, along with a well-used, tall scratching post that also doubles as a cat tree. Touma takes a moment to gently pick Blossom out of the bag in order to set him comfortably in the cat bed on the floor, fingertips affectionately smoothing out his fur and adjusting his body's position to be comfortable, as if Blossom was a flesh and blood feline that needed assistance.

[A bit further ahead is a decidedly larger kitchen and adjoining dining room. The wall ahead leads to another veranda that looks out towards where Platinum Jail once sat, though it's without any furniture other than a clothes line.

[If one instead were to go left, instead of right, to the kitchen, Touma's bedroom is there, as is the bathroom, linen closet, and washer. Those doors are closed.

[The kitchen is the most vibrant, the countertops home to containers of loose leaf tea and several cat-print tea and coffee mugs. Many of them are matching, but it looks like only one of each set has ever really been touched. Silhouette shapes are a common theme among them. A pair of detailed stone figures of kittens are surrounding a salt and pepper shaker on the dining room table, posed deliberately to make them look like they're playing together.

[Even the wall clock between the living room and kitchen is cat-themed, albeit also a silhouette shape, its forepaws serving as the hour and minute hands, and its tail swaying to keep time of the seconds. On a table just beneath the clock, a picture in a frame sits, depicting a very slightly younger Touma with an older man and woman. The resemblance between them is obvious - the woman shares Touma's hair color, if faded like an overcast sky, and streaked with gray, and the man has thinning black hair. They're all smiling brightly for the camera. Furthermore, Touma's barely taller than the woman in the picture, and the man is definitely taller than the both of them.

[The place is otherwise nigh-immaculate, even Spartan in nature, other than those little notes of individuality, almost as if Touma's worried about intruding into his own space. Either way, he doesn't say much, and just lets Aoba look around as he pleases.]

[cosmo_call]

[ Aoba has to hold in a whine at that, desperate to squeeze even a little something out of the other man, and tries to encourage him by clutching to the arm he has the hand of-- but when Touma opens and closes the door, Aoba finds himself a little speechless in the wake of what he finds.

It's.. simple, like he thought it would be, but the signs of life are like footprints in sand, making the place look and feel more lived in than Aoba had predicted. He walks into the space uninvited, but with a tentative and curious air like he's afraid of breaking anything, much like he was with Touma at first. He finds himself thinking this as he walks around, hands going out like he's about to touch but never quite getting close enough to make contact.

That is, of course, until he wanders down the little corridor and finds the picture frame, eyes taking in the details for a long moment as his hand finally reaches out so he can brush a finger down the face of the young man.

Then he comes back, over to the couch, and plops himself down on it as if that's his deciding vote on the matter. He smiles up at Touma. ]

I like it. [ He reminds himself of something he said before. I like you. A lot. He'd been understating then, really.. just like he is now, but the thought of saying it in full force makes his toes curl in his boots, his body feel small and delicate. He just hopes the look in his eyes is enough. ]

[luculence]

[Touma smiles a bit once he plops down on the couch, and, double-checking one last time that Blossom won't wake up uncomfortable later, he makes his way to the couch with his boyfriend to unabashedly sit very, very close. While Touma doesn't quite get Aoba's psychic projections, he does make himself at home by winding his arm around his partner's waist and drawing him nearer still.

[Unabashed, in the safety of privacy, he smiles as he kisses Aoba's ear - ever mindful of his hair even now - and makes sure any touch to his hair, using his lips, is feather-light.]

I think.. we left off somewhere earlier...? Where was it...? Here?

[Gently, he kisses a little lower - closer to where his jaw meets his neck.]

I just can't seem to recall exactly where I was putting my lips before~

[cosmo_call]

[ The moment Touma's arm goes around his waist, Aoba suddenly remembers the state he was in before, when he'd crawled shamelessly between Touma's legs, pressed up against his chest, kissed him like he was trying to inhale him whole. The gravity of the situation - seeing inside his boyfriends home for the first time, being permitted into that part of his life - had distracted him thoroughly, but when Touma's hand makes contact with his spine and he kisses his ear, it's like resuming a video game; those hot and hungry feelings from before resurface in a wave that ripples through his whole body.

It's almost ticklish, how gentle Touma is being, but at the same time it makes his blood burn as though he's being teased on purpose, and Aoba can only let it continue for so long before he's raising his hands up and directing that straying mouth closer to his. ]

I'm a little offended you can't remember. [ He says, though he doesn't sound offended at all. And there's a little smile playing around his lips before he pecks Touma quickly on the mouth. ] I'll have to work harder to be more memorable this time.

[ And then he presses forwards again for a lingering kiss, one that starts off as pressure and contact but melts rapidly into something with the same kind of heat as before, but now with much more willingness to give in considering the solitude of these four walls. ]

[luculence]

[At first, Touma worries that Aoba isn't joking, but once it's clear that they're all good, he relaxes into it all, and unabashedly climbs into the younger man's lap. The way he folds his legs, it puts Aoba right between them again, where wants them, and he kisses back with a soft, daring brush of tongue into it. His hands settle happily on the outermost curves of Aoba's shoulders.]

Pardon me, couldn't resist anymore.

[He smiles shyly still, presses another soft kiss to his lips again. Full to the brim with the desire to touch his boyfriend and never stop, he really doesn't want to hold back anymore.]

[cosmo_call]

Ah-- [ The movement of Touma suddenly shifting into his lap has Aoba feeling like a child who's finally been given a gift he's wanted for years. It's real - he knows that much because he instantly raises his hands to brave the sides of Touma's hips, in that fold where his legs meet his body, where he's warm and the fabric of his trousers has bunched up - but it still feels too good to be true. Especially when Touma kisses him so boldly and talks about him being irresistible. Aoba almost, for a second, considers pinching himself.

He's distracted enough by Touma's mouth that he doesn't, though, luckily. He lets out a shameless gasp of a whine as he opens his mouth and laps his tongue lasciviously over Touma's like he's becoming practiced at doing it, as fingers creep over Touma's hip ones and further back, around the curve of his backside. ]

Started typing this up while I waited for the game to finish installing. <3

[luculence]

[Touma shivers as he's touched, pausing for a few seconds while he gives himself time to adjust to the welcomed touch. It still can catch him off guard, so as soon as he feels Aoba's touch creeping further back, he moves both hands back to lace their fingers together. Between kisses, he gives a slightly ashamed smile as he moves their joined hands further and further back, settling still as Aoba's hands find the somewhat plump curve of his ass.

[He tentatively starts to let go of his hands then to let him move them as he wishes from there on out, dearly wanting to trust in the hope that he won't panic since he wants this.]

Mmmh... Aoba...

[Honestly, he still doesn't know how the hell his voice-deep panic attack stopped, other than the fact that he lost consciousness and woke up feeling better. The memories of being edgy whenever he sought out contact after his rape, and even now, still linger. And he really, really doesn't want to be in the grips of another panic attack. Not now. (And he knows "not ever" is impossible.)]

[cosmo_call]

[ Aoba does his best to be careful, to pace himself and to give Touma enough time and reassurance to adjust to him, to the new and frightening territory they're entering into, but.. But Aoba has the libido of a teenager, a desperate want to hear more noises escape his boyfriends lips, and the hasty rationalisation that since he's imprinted himself in Touma's mind as someone who'll protect him, keep him safe, prioritise only his happiness. Because of that, perhaps he finds it a little easier to get carried away. So much so that he has to take a breath when Touma's fingers hold his, and exhales when he lets them go. He wants to be the perfect partner, so bad it's overwhelming, but he can't just be so naturally. He's going to have to work hard if he wants this, if he wants to show Touma he wants it, and for the right reasons.

He forces his hands still except for the soft petting and gentle squeezing of his fingers, focusing on kissing Touma deeply enough that he steals his breath. Their lips are slick, their tongues dance in familiarity, and Aoba lets out soft sighs of contentedness every so often between presses and licks. ]

Show me. [ Aoba says eventually, not really even pulling away from the kiss, instead kind of murmuring it against Touma's lips. It's a request rather than a command, which is clear by the way his voice is breathless in desperation, like he might die if Touma were to refuse him. ] Show me what you want.

[ If Touma needs to set the pace to be comfortable, Aoba is happy with that. If he needs to show Aoba what he wants so that this can go well, Aoba will do it gladly. He wants this to be his choice. ]

[luculence]

[Touma makes a small sound as he swallows when Aoba makes that request. With a shiver, he starts to undo his shirt, button by button, and drops it on the floor without much care. His body is a little on the slender side, shoulders too, and he moves next to unzip his pants, then seems to think twice, and gets up. He takes his pants off, too, leaving him only in his underwear, and then gets right back on Aoba's lap. Any hair on Touma's body is more or less peachfuzz in entirety, save for the slightly more defined hairs that lead to his groin.

[With some deliberation, he guides one of Aoba's hands to his chest, and the other to the front of his underwear. Swallowing hard, he murmurs,] ...Touch me more? And...

[Frowning a little, cheeks hot, he continues,] Later, I... want to taste you.

[cosmo_call]

[ Aoba's eyes seem to grow brighter as he watches Touma move, even when he gets off of Aoba's lap he can't waste any time being upset about it, because the sight of him undressing is kind of mesmerising. He tries not to stare, or rather he thinks he should try not to stare and fails miserably. He's always thought Touma attractive - their age difference means very little to him but helps in that it gives Touma's body an unknown quality to it, like forbidden fruit since Aoba can't really compare it to his own - so he's not surprised at all that his dick twitches at the sight of pale skin and lithe limbs. ]

Ghn-

[ Surprise takes his breath when Touma moves his hands again, catching in his chest and refusing to release as the situation, the heat under his fingers, and Touma's delicious words sink in. Somehow, even though he knew this was a possibility, he can't believe this is really happening and so for a moment he does nothing but stare... then his breath leaves him in a whoosh of air, and his hands move. The one on his chest finds a pert nipple and rolls it between two of his fingers, while the hand between Touma's legs cups the warmth there and squeezes experimentally.

All the while Aoba can't take his eyes off Touma's face now, watching his reactions, doing his best not to imagine those lips stretching around him. And again, failing miserably. ]

that moment when you replay the lyrics in your head to remember the upload order your icons.

[luculence]

[Depending on how low Aoba's touch goes, he'll definitely be able to notice a lack of balls between Touma's legs, and a distinct, yielding sensation and dampness. Actually, his underwear is already slightly damp in two different places, and easily touched.

[As Aoba plays with his chest, Touma has to clap a hand over his mouth as he lets out a surprised, and deeply pleasured noise, his whole body shivering, his nipple hardening further under his partner's touch.]

Mmnn...!!

[Hips briefly rocking forward into his touch, Touma only slightly dares to lower his hand from his mouth, gaze dark from pleasure and brow furrowed from the effort of holding back.]

A-Aoba... ahhh...

[In instinct, and then willingly, he spreads his legs open a little more for him, shivering as he rocks his hips against Aoba's hand. Honestly, he's surprised that he's keeping any sense of control over himself, because now that he's actually getting touched by the man he adores, it's taking everything in him not to throw the last bits of that control to the wind.

[But he is 100% distracted by his touch, too, face hot and eyes slightly wetter than usual simply because of how good his touch feels.]

You feel good, Aoba... mmh....

lmffsdf skill!! shame mine are all just "funny" comments

[cosmo_call]

[ Aoba bites his lip back into his mouth at the utter display Touma is gracing him with. If he wasn't horrendously turned on before, now he definitely is. His cock is straining painfully, already almost entirely hard and grinding up against his jeans every time Touma rocks forward against him. His hand is pliant, curious, so when Touma's hips move his fingers curl, upwards just slightly the further between Touma's legs they get, feeling the absence of balls but shuddering at the wicked wetness in their place. Touma is dripping and Aoba doesn't have the brain power to articulate how hot he finds it.

In retrospect, when Aoba was first told about Touma's particular condition, he hadn't been repulsed nor did he think he would be when the time came, but he couldn't help but think that it might be a little bit of a shock to see something so unique up close... now, though, Aoba finds he couldn't care less what parts Touma has, as long as he keeps rocking into Aoba's hand like that and making those sounds..

He's barely doing anything and yet Touma's voice is high and desperate, and Aoba can only fantasize about what he might sound like once things get a little more serious. He hisses in approval, the fingers of one hand rolling Touma's nipple, giving it a soft pull every so often, while his other hand pushes through that wetness and back to feel the shape of his cock through the thin fabric of his underwear, mapping the shape of both out between his fingers and palm, massaging into the heat of them. ]

T-Touma... [ Aoba groans between gasps of air. And then, since he decides that reaching Touma's mouth at this angle would be a little too diffcult, he opens his mouth around Touma's other nipple instead, enveloping it in the hot wetness of his mouth and his tongue. ]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZIlEw2j3OM :)!

[luculence]

[Touma's honestly a lot more sensitive than he likes to let on, panting at the attention he's receiving as his thoughts turn to mush. Aoba's grinding fingers and palm against his sexes as him shaking, and the addition of further nipple stimulation has him whimpering and moving his arms to wrap around Aoba, clinging onto him as he bucks his hips into his hand. Precum drips even more readily through his underwear, the watery fluid soaking completely through before long.

[He can't keep his thoughts straight, head filled with hot fluff that he can't quite thread through.]

A-Aoba! Aoba...!! Fuck, please...!

[With those multiple points of pleasure, it's hard for him to express exactly what he wants. Instead, listless, he pulls one hand from his lover's shoulder and guides Aoba's hand to slip under the waistband of his boxers, to feel the hot, inviting heat of his sexes. Easily, Aoba can feel where his slender dick merges with his pussy, the skin gently split open and occupying the space along part of the base of his erection.

[He's soaked, hot, sticky, and pliant to the touch. Going further, not thinking clearly, he guides Aoba to slip a finger inside of him, and cries out in raw need as he keeps carefully rocking his hips.

[He'll apologize later.]

ahh, what a good song!! *o*

[cosmo_call]

Fuck-- [ Touma is loud and Aoba is suddenly entirely thankful they didn't do this in his room, where he'd be forced to kiss Touma to tone him down, or the two of them would have to put hands over their mouths to stop Granny overhearing something unsavory.. Like this he can see, touch and hear everything Touma has to offer him, and devours it hungrily.

Aoba feels like he's tentatively breaching unknown waters, on edge as though he's afraid of breaking what Touma is encouraging him to touch.. but all those drawbacks disappear when his fingertips find the slickness of Touma's sexes, when Touma pushes his hand up and guides his fingers to slip up further through and into the wet heat of him. Aoba tries to keep his fingers in a soft curve so that he doesn't hurt him, but when Touma rocks against him he cant resist curling them slightly, as though beckoning forward. His eyes stay fixed on his lovers face, watching every twitch of emotion play out there, feeling his whole body grow hotter and hotter the longer he watches and listens and feels Touma react to what he's doing. ]

Ah-- [ Absently, Aoba shifts his other hand down between his own legs, between their bodies so he can start to unfasten his belt. It's getting to the point now where it's almost painful to be confined. ]

<3

[luculence]

[Just like that, when those fingers curl inside of him, Touma feels like a beast in heat. Touch that isn't his own feels so damned good. Even so, he notices Aoba starting to unfasten his belt, and he removes his guiding hand from Aoba's in order to help him out.]

M-mmmh...

[Inside, he lightly tightens his walls around Aoba's fingers, as if trying to draw them in further, or, at least, being reluctant to let them go. All the while, his hips shift and squirm a little.]

Aoba... do I feel good to you?

[cosmo_call]

[ Aoba very much goes by instinct with most of these things, typically trying to compare things to himself, touching in a way he's sure he'd enjoy and therefore can only assume his partner will enjoy too..

Touma's anatomy is unlike his own, of course, so the goalposts are a little off-center, but Aoba figures that at the very least Touma is incredibly expressive like this and is sure to tell him if he does something wrong. Plus, the unknown element of it all is making Aoba want it even more, his mouth watering as he wonders how far this is going to go. ]

You feel.. so good. [ He hisses as Touma tightens, his fingers twitching as a throb of pure desire rattles his bones. ] So wet and- ah- warm..

[ How good Touma feels to him should be evident by the way his cock strains against his underwear once the two of them get his pants open. Aoba groans in relief, but it's still not enough. ]

[luculence]

[Not stopping at just unfastening his belt and giving him some minor relief, Touma helps ease Aoba's cock out of his underwear, panting as Aoba keeps touching him. His hand slides warmly around Aoba's cock, stroking him firmly and eagerly as he cradles the weight of him against his palm.]

You're warm, too, [he points out softly, leaning in to press little kisses against Aoba's cheek and jaw, and finally his lips again. His wrist gives a bit of a twist on each upstroke, using his fingers to tease and caress at least part of the circumference of the head of his partner's cock.]

I feel even better just touching you like this. Ahh... Aoba....

[It's hard to focus much beyond how much more he wants to keep touching his partner. Even doing this much is terribly distracting from any other plans he had in mind.]

[cosmo_call]

[ The sound that falls from Aoba as Touma's precise fingers wrap around him with a familiarity that could be the fault of instinct or of experience (it doesn't matter which, as both make Aoba's mouth water) is loud and high and breathy as he struggles to manage his excitement and surprise enough to maintain his composure. He knew Touma touching him would feel good - he's touched himself enough to know he's not exactly a complex sexual partner in that it really doensn't take a whole lot to get him going - but he never quite anticipated how good it would feel. Touma's hands are soft but intense; they feel scorching hot and in the few moments it takes for Touma's wrist to start to work him up and down and around Aoba can already feel himself becoming addicted to the feeling of another persons hands on him. Of Touma's hands, specifically, on him.

He hisses in a breath, a half hiccup as he whimpers in pleasure, and raises the hand that isn't still busy between Touma's legs up, clutching at the slope of his shoulder. ]

Nnn-- I want you to feel good but- [ He takes another breath, his lungs feeling two sizes smaller than usual. ] If you keep doing that, I'm gonna.. I can't take it, I..

[ He flushes like a whipcrack, his face suddenly burning bright red. ]

...I can't even think when you're touching me like that.

[luculence]

[His mind rapidly turning into a hazy mess of his own, Touma leans in a little more when Aoba grasps his shoulder. He shivers as he hears him out, and stops stroking him altogether, although he doesn't let go of him.]

Aoba.. do you want me to stop?

["Can't" can be a tricky slope, and he doesn't want to do anything untoward.]

Or are you trying to convey that you'd... rather cum elsewhere and not from my hand on you? There's no wrong answer.

[Worried, and shivering from lingering arousal, he kisses Aoba's cheek again, his hips trembling as he struggles not to rock into Aoba's touch, not wanting to lose it, himself. It's so sinfully sweet, though, sending tingle after tingle of pleasure straight through his dick and it's enough to make his pussy lightly clench around those fingers, too.]

[cosmo_call]

[ Everything is so much right now, so intense and so overwhelming; this wonderful mixture of feelings that has him feeling dizzy and hungry, hyper-aware of every single place he and Touma touch. And also aware of how much he's enjoying it - more than video games, music, anything he's ever been through, it all pales in comparison to how he feels when Touma looks at him and touches him. ]

I-- I don't know. I just don't.. w-want this to end, any time soon.

[ He's struggling to meet Touma's eyes now, because this basically translates to Aoba being thirsty, but.. he can't see Touma minding much. It's just a little embarrassing to admit how horny Touma has made him with only these few touches. ]

I want you.. [ He says slowly, carefully, like he's picking his words with great attention when in actual fact it's just taking a lot for him to articulate enough to form actual speech. ] Can we.. go somewhere that isn't the couch, maybe?