bakerstreet | they live inside us

[ no worries! it's been a while since i played ren so i may be a bit rusty, but i'm def glad to see another dmmd rper around!

awesome, so do you have anything in mind? :> ]

[ ME TOO! we can be brave together! o9

as for ideas, not really!! but looks at the meme, looks at my hands... did you have a preference for anything? angsty or hurt-comfort-y? ]

[ hell yesss c:

hmmm with these two i'm a sucker for cute shit so maybe something hurt-comforty? god knows they've both been thru enough shit to need some of that. ;; ]

[ that is MORE than fine with me! i'm pretty fantastically bad at figuring out thread starters, would you like to discuss over pm? ]

[ sure! c: ]

[ It had been some time now since Ren had woken up in that hospital bed with Aoba there next to him. He's still not used to it. He's learned how to function in a human body, of course, but he sometimes wonders if he's going to wake up inside the Allmate one day and find that this had all just been a dream.

It's wonderful to be able to walk by Aoba's side, to touch him and hold him with actual hands, to be able to protect him and take care of him and not be limited by a small, ineffectual body.

Still, lately he's been feeling strangely guilty. While he was still getting used to things like walking it was understandable that he couldn't get a job, but now that he's stronger and in good physical condition... he wants to contribute more. He does do a lot of household chores when Aoba is at work, and he's found that he really enjoys cooking, but Aoba and Tae aren't exactly wealthy and so he feels bad for not contributing financially in any way.

Those are the thoughts whirling around in his head when he hears Aoba unlocking the front door after his work day. He goes to the hallway to greet him, all the while trying not to look troubled. ]

[ Aoba is finding all of this just as strange and wonderful as Ren is; while Ren has always been at his side, now their connection is physical as well as emotional, and every touch is exciting, scary, exhilarating in a way Aoba is slowly getting addicted to.

Possibly the strangest part of it all, though, is the separation he suddenly feels.. Now that Ren has a body of his own, Aoba can't carry him around wherever he goes and be comforted by the weight of him in his bag, can't talk to him whenever he has a question or just wants to chatter aimlessly.. Getting a new AllMate is also something he's struggling with, because it just doesn't feel right, but he knows it's necessary. Even Haga-san has brought it up, questioned where Ren is, and Clara is very upset to have not seen him for a time... He wishes he could tell everyone Ren is alive and well and not in for repairs as is his go to excuse, he wishes he could take him places and not keep him hidden in his room near constantly, he wishes he could-- Well, there's a lot Aoba's heart wishes they could do, but it feels more like a series of dreams than anything else.

He's a little bogged down by it, clouded with thoughts of it, and though he tries not to bring it into the house he's feeling particularly untethered today, and the expression on his face as he steps through the door betrays that entirely.

When he sees Ren standing there, like he always is, he's both elated and immediately ashamed for how gloomy he seems. Like a whip-crack the excuse is formed on his tongue and his troubled expression goes to a dramatic pout. ]

Whaat, Granny isn't around the one time I remember to lock the door?

[ It's not entirely a lie, since he is actually a little disappointed she isn't here to be grumpily proud of him.. but he's also glad for a little alone time with his rapunzel. ]

What a joke, right? [ He asks, looking at the man in question... and as he does his face softens into a smile, his eyes going warm. ] ... Hi Ren.

[ He pushes the door shut behind him, then opens his arms for a hug. Look, okay, he's missed being able to bury his face in Ren's fur.. it's always been a great source of comfort for him after a tough day. ]

[ Ren almost forgets his troubled thoughts when Aoba walks through the door and a soft, affectionate smile forms on Ren's lips. He does, however, have time to pick up on Aoba's own troubled expression before it changes and he makes a mental note to ask him about it later. He's always been more concerned for Aoba than he is for himself. It's kind of been his sole purpose in life to be until fairly recently so it's not something he can just snap out of. ]

Tae-san had to visit a patient. She did not think she would be back until tomorrow morning.

[ Ren feels his heart flutter a bit when Aoba's expression changes again, into something so warm and loving. There is no hesitation as he approaches Aoba and wraps his arms around him, enveloping him into a warm embrace. ]

Welcome home, Aoba.

[ Aoba buries his nose in the long hair behind Ren's ear. He's taller, so Aoba has to reach up on his tiptoes but that only means he has an excuse to push his whole weight against Ren; their embrace chest to chest and lingering as they stand in he hallway. Aoba seems loathe to move, as he merely hums a sound of thanks in response to Ren, and tucks his nose in a little more. When he inhales he smells a scent that is familiar and yet different. Curiously Aoba tilts his chin till his lips are against the soft skin of Ren's neck. Clearly pleased by the warmth he finds, he hums again. ]

Work was tiring... [ He whines quietly, which means that it wasn't all that bad, probably just a few annoying customers. ] I could fall asleep right here.

[ But once the words leave his mouth he's drawing back, looking at Ren's face instead and scanning his features as if running a mental diagnostic. ]

How was your day?

[ Being hugged like this seems to temporarily drain all the worries and concerns out of Ren. He sighs in contentment, pressing his own lips to the top of Aoba's head. The lips against his neck followed by Aoba's low humming makes his skin tingle a little in a decidedly pleasant way.

He caresses Aoba's back and smiles. He knows that tone of voice very well. ]

I could carry you to the bedroom if you would like to lay down. [ He's being playful, but he really would do it if Aoba wanted him to. He had done it once before, at a moment when he was very eager to show Aoba how much stronger he'd gotten. ]

Ah... my day was fine. Uneventful. [ Aoba's question has made him remember his earlier troubled thoughts and it's likely noticeable in his voice when she speaks. ]

[ This kind of contact between them acts like a balm, so that Aoba can't even remember any of the gloom he'd been feeling before when his palms are on Ren's shoulder blades and their faces are so close.

He's a second or two away from playing along, from calling Ren out on making him lazy, from dropping a little heavier into his hold like his legs are suddenly too weak to keep him standing-- but then that face.. ah, that face. He doesn't know if it hurts more to see him look sad, given that it's Sei's gift too that shares the emotion, or simply that every time Ren looks like this Aoba gets flashbacks to down-turned ears and a soft whine. His voice too, usually so strong, has gone a little more delicate around it's edges. ]

Uneventful? [ He raises his hand to Ren's cheek, fingertips brushing up into his hair as though he's about to check his temperature. He could wait for Ren to open up to him by himself.. but something tells him Ren would appreciate Aoba creating a soft landing for him to parachute into first. ] If something's bothering you, I want to hear about it. You can talk to me, you know. [ He looks away then, just for a second, a little bashful. ] I kind of miss our talks.

[ If there is anything Ren is good at doing without really meaning to, it's looking like a kicked puppy whenever he's bothered or upset by something.

His cheeks redden a bit, feeling kind of called out by his boyfriend. He doesn't want to burden Aoba, but his words strike a chord within Ren. If something's burdening Aoba, then Ren would want to know about it and so of course it would be the same the other way around.

He doesn't let go of Aoba, but he glances away awkwardly before speaking. ]

Ah... it's just... I suppose I feel like I should be contributing more.

[ Aoba cares deeply for Ren, of course he does. The year without him had been torture, and getting him back was a miracle Aoba never stops being thankful for. Their relationship is a happy one, but even the happiest of people aren't so blessed as to not have bumps in the road to work through.

He only wants to reassure Ren that the level of care and attentiveness he shows is more than reciprocated in Aoba; he cares just as much as Ren does, wants him to be happy just as much, will often put him first simply because the other fails to, just like Ren.. It's a good way to maintain what they have in a good working order, but Ren has real trouble showing weakness in front of his boyfriend sometimes. Or, what he considers weakness, at least.

When he finally speaks, Aoba's heart feels like it constricts, just slightly. Contributing more? How in the world could Ren possibly think he needs to do anything more for him? Does he really think he's not enough?

He's not always the most delicate or intuitive with these matters, but when he considers the fact that Ren has been locking the door for him, cooking and cleaning, and making sure Aoba doesn't get up late for work.. he really can't understand how Ren could feel inferior. Unless it's on a material level that he feels like he hasn't thrown in enough coins, literally.. ]

Ren.. [ Aoba says, tilting his head a bit, smiling softly. ] You know Granny won't accept any money off you even if you did have any, right? Besides, you already do so much.

[ Ren can't help it. His purpose in life had always been to look after Aoba, to protect him and to be whatever Aoba had needed him to be. Feeling inadequate whenever he "fails" in that is kind of second nature to him at this point. He knows that Aoba cares just as much about him in return, but sometimes he can't help but to feel like he doesn't quite deserve it.

Maybe he is being silly, thinking he needs to do more. Maybe it's just not about that either. If he's going to be really honest with himself, he has to admit he also feels a little lonely at home when Aoba is at work. As an Allmate he'd always been brought along, and it's the only thing he sometimes misses about those days. Being small and easy for Aoba to carry around everywhere...

He flushes a darker shade of red and catches his bottom lip with one of his pointy canines. He knows that Aoba is right, but still... ]

I suppose it still doesn't feel like I do enough.

[ He finally glances back at Aoba, smiling apologetically. ] I am sorry, Aoba. I should not burden you with this when you are already tired.

[ Ren's sacrificial white-knight complex is both his most endearing and his most frustrating trait. Even when he's confessing his feelings he still manages to suffocate the matter at hand by putting Aoba first, like always. It's a nice feeling, don't get him wrong, to be loved and appreciated so fiercely that you become such a driving force in the way another person handles themselves but.. Ren has spent long enough being Aoba's protector and guide, Aoba wants to see him develop the man he's become, to be truly himself.

He doofs his forehead up against Ren's and then presses a small kiss to the corner of his mouth before drawing back with a look on his face like he's about to tease him. ]

Stupid Ren. [ When they're like this, when Ren is captivating and enticing (Aoba doesn't take his eyes off that little sliver of a fang until he absolutely has to) and painfully sweet, Aoba wonders why he has concerns about breaking the news and why he doesn't just parade his happy relationship around for all to see. Ren makes it better, even when he's uncertain and worrying about things he needn't. ] If you want to do more, no-ones stopping you.. but do it because you want to, not because you feel like you need to.

[ His own worries are far away, tucked into the corners that curl up when Aoba is alone, or when it's quiet. Right now he can't spare a single thought for any of it, and instead worms a hand down to link his fingers lazily with Ren's. ]

I liked what you said earlier, about going to bed. Can we? I think this conversation would be better had up there. [ He smiles, encouraging. Whatever the issue, they can fix it together, Aoba's confident of that much. ] I haven't even taken my shoes off yet.

[ Having literally been a part of Aoba had definitely complicated the process of Ren coming into his own. Sure, his years as an Allmate had certainly prepared him for what not being a part of Aoba anymore would be like, but it couldn't really be compared to being a human on equal footing with him.

Ren deflates a little at that, feeling both embarrassed and a little stupid. Aoba is right, of course, and he's probably being too hard on himself. The kiss is nice, though, and Ren can't help but to smile in a somewhat sheepish way. ]

I... apologies, Aoba, you are right.

[ He nods, feeling warm inside as Aoba looks at him like that. If he still had a tail, it would definitely be wagging now. Aoba always makes him feel better and as long as he has him by his side, what does he really have to worry about?

Of course. [ The slightly playful tone from before creeps back into his voice as he continues. ] And... My offer to carry you still stands.

[ Aoba snorts a laugh at that, completely ruining the tender moment with such an embarrassing sound, and pushes at Ren's stomach with his elbow. ]

Aah-ah, you're going to make me lazy, is that what you want? I'll want you to carry me everywhere~ It'll be even harder to get me out of bed in the morning, and Granny will never forgive you. [ He teases, but then.. when he thinks about it, thinks about Ren taking him everywhere, being at his side at all times once again, it stops his mirth in it's tracks and his expression goes a little sombre as he moves away to unfasten and take off his boots. ] Nah, I can get there myself.

[ He tucks those thoughts away for later.. he doesn't want to ruin this time with Ren thinking about things like that, especially not when Ren has his own things to work through. ]

Besides.. [ His voice goes softer and then he adds, cheekily: ] I've had my legs longer than you've had yours. [ Before he scampers off toward the stairs to the first floor and ascends them two at a time. ]

Well... I would not mind carrying you everywhere. You used to do it for me.

[ He smiles, voice a mixture of affection and playfulness. He does, however, pick up on the change in expression on his boyfriend's face and recalls that he'd felt as though something might be wrong earlier.

Before he can say anything about it Aoba has already run off to the stairs. Ren hurries to follow, unable to keep a smile off of his face as Aoba takes the steps two at a time. Showoff.

Ren follows upstairs, but sticks to taking one at a time. Best to not overdo it. Once they're both at the top, Ren can't resist wrapping his arms around Aoba's waist, lifting him off of his feet for just a moment in a strong embrace. ]

[ When he's lifted Aoba lets out an embarrassing noise that has him pressing both hands over his mouth in some vain attempt to keep it in, but it's too late and his honest to god squeal is already rattling through the house. He's blushing as Ren lets him down, and squirms away to bap at Ren's shoulder. ]

Ren! Don't show off! [ He scolds, like you would a dog who got too excited and mauled your slipper a little too much, but his face is full of a smile as he pushes open the door to his bedroom, so he clearly doesn't mind. Ren has got so much stronger in what feels like no time at all.. Aoba can remember him barely being able to speak like it was yesterday, and now look at him.. Soon he'll be racing Aoba up the stairs. ] Lifting me might be easy, but you'd be exhausted carrying me around all day, I'm much heavier than you used to be.

[ When he enters the room, because he's talking about it and also because he's started doing it by habit, his eyes glance at the empty AllMate curled up on a blue pillow in the corner. It still looks like it's sleeping, and Aoba can't help but smile. ]

Your little legs were so small, letting you run around after me just drained your power.

[ It's only soft teasing, but Aoba still turns over his shoulder to grin back at Ren as he laughs. ]

[ Ren can't help but to laugh. Aoba's squeal and flustered reaction is just... too cute. Aoba is just too cute. ]

I am sorry, Aoba. [ He says that, but the smile on his lips makes it pretty obvious that he's not actually very sorry at all.

He follows Aoba into the bedroom and his eyes too stray to the Allmate. It always feels a little strange to see it like that, from the outside, but he doesn't really mind it either. Especially since it only looks like its sleeping.

Now it's Ren's turn to blush a little. ] Ah, yes... It would have been impractical if I were to walk everywhere.

[ Ren walks over to sit down on the bed, remembering why they came up here in the first place. He chews on his bottom lip with one of his canines again as he looks seriously at his boyfriend. ] Aoba.... I could not help but to notice before... You seemed troubled by something. Is everything alright?

[ Aoba busies himself with taking off his jacket and throwing it somewhere without really thinking about it. He's trying to be tidier, to adjust to having another person in his space, but it's taking him time to get used to the change too. That, and the fact that he never feels any judgement from Ren, so he feels less pressured to make a good impression; Ren already knows full well what a slob he can be.

When Ren speaks up, Aoba turns with an owlish look on his face. ]

Me? [ Oh. So Ren had spotted him. Immediately he feels guilty for being so obvious, and regret for not being certain that Ren would figure it out immediately in the first place. Ren knows him better than anyone, after all. ]

Don't worry about me for now-- [ He shakes his head, holding up his hands as he hastily switches the subject. ] We were talking about you, weren't we? You wanting to contribute more? Do you.. want to get a job, then?

[ It would be tough getting Ren a job that would fit with their certain set of circumstances, but he's sure if they put in a little thought they can figure it out. ]

[ Ren often picks up after Aoba anyway, so the room usually doesn't have the chance to get as messy as it used to before...

Ren had kind of hoped to change the subject away from himself, but no such luck. There seems to be no escaping having to focus on himself rather than Aoba for once... It is certainly out of his comfort zone, but deep down he knows it's probably good for him and so he doesn't protest.

Instead he nods hesitantly. ] I suppose I do... I just... well, I must confess that I would not know where to begin. It isn't as though I have any previous experience.

[ Aoba takes a seat beside Ren, and without his jacket on it's much easier to get close, to align their legs side by side so that they're pressing together, so that Aoba's shoulder meets up with Ren's and it's easy for him to wriggle a hand into his lap, catch up his hand and lace their fingers together as he listens to what Ren is saying.

He's a little distracted by how.. uncertain Ren sounds, like he's uncomfortable even talking about these kind of things. Though Aoba has a sneaking suspicion it's the attention that has him flustered, rather than the subject matter itself. Clearly Aoba thinks it's his fault for not giving Ren enough attention consistently to get him used to it, and immediately starts worrying his bottom lip with his tongue. ]

Mmm. Maybe we could get you some courier work.. You've got experience doing that with me, right? [ Sure, Ren was just a glorified map back then, but if Ren had a coil with all the applications of an AllMate (besides the online persona, of course) then he could do something similar. ] It'd be a good way to keep up on your physiotherapy, too.

[ Aoba could see it working, can see Ren making it work if it's something he really wants.. and though Aoba loves the idea of Ren being at home waiting for him when he opens the door, he'd much rather have Ren happy than trapped in Granny's house slowly going mad. ]

[ Ren feels better when Aoba takes his hand, and he smiles as he squeezes it gently. His boyfriend is so loving and supportive... he feels a little bad for not opening up to him more often. He promises himself that from now on he'll be more open about his feelings to Aoba. He's never had any problems showing Aoba just how much he loves him, but it's definitely not as easy where these sort of things are concerned.

Ren nods thoughtfully. Courier work... it is a good idea. If he can find anyone who needs someone to do that kind of work. He can only think of Haga-san and... Yoshie-san. He suppresses a shudder at that. Yeah, no, he's definitely not going to work for her. ]

Yes, that might work. Perhaps... Haga-san would let me practice delivering for him? N-Not to take your job, Aoba. [ He chuckles sheepishly. ]

[ There are plenty of people around the district who would appreciate a happy-to-help courier, but there are certain ones Aoba knows full well would not be good places for Ren. Aside from all the employers who are known to overwork their staff, there are also various rumours going around about workers being hurt or going missing... He'd hate for something like that to happen to Ren. Haga-san and, unfortunately, Yoshie-san are the only people Aoba would trust with his most precious one.

But, of course.. that would mean telling about exactly why this man is suddenly living with him, why be looks so much like Aoba in certain ways, but in others looks more like the little dog Aoba has curiously stopped but bringing with him wherever he goes. He looks more and more Ren every day, even sounds exactly like he did before now.. it would be impossible to avoid telling the very complicated truth in a way they'd both understand.

But maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. It would be better in the long run to stop lying to them, and if he told them both then perhaps he'd be able to tell others... and finally they could leave the house together, and walk around holding hands... ]

I'm sure he'd be happy to give you a chance. He only sends me because I'm quicker than he would be, so it'd be nice to actually be able to stay and look after the store.

[ Aoba's words are a bit quiet, distracted almost. After a short pause, he sighs and leans his head up on Ren's shoulder. ]

I need to say sorry for something..

Maybe that's the thing that's upsetting Aoba the most about all this... that not being honest about Ren is, in turn, hurting him. It's limiting his opportunities, it's the reason he's trapped here like Rapunzel in her tower.. and whether it be the overall care he has for Ren or whether its influenced by Sei in that Aoba never wants any trace of him to be imprisoned ever again... either way Aoba feels his eyes prickle.]

I haven't told anyone about you yet. Just Granny. Not even Koujaku knows. I just... haven't found the right time, or the right words. But if you want to get out and see what there is out there, I.. I'll tell them. Everyone. I'll figure out a way to explain it.

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let me know if you want anything changed :>

it's perfect!

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your ren is so cute i'm perishing..... ; v ;

your aoba is adorable too ;; these two are the cutest ;;

weh, thank you ;_; they really are the cutest ;;;; <3

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