bakerstreet | YOU JUMP, I'LL CATCH YOU

Alli is in a mood since Sherlock was late coming back from market and forgot to the peppers he asked for.

He eats his food with a grouchy scowl.

"You know how I feel about bambini." He grunts; "I made myself clear. You not trying to make me change mind, I hope?"

"It's not like that, Alli. He's an old friend from England, A soldier, like you in Her Majesty's Army. Retired. He's just been through a form of rehab for that child of his. I'm not trying to change your mind mi amore, I wouldn't be a good father anyway, I just - he's an old friend and he's trying to make amends."

Sherlock bites his lip. "i am not keeping secrets from you, mi amore. I am sorry about the peperoni... really I am..."

"Nonna's dish is cacar without it." He squirms with disgusts; "You always want other men! More soldiers, hmm? If you that desperate, I should invite the guys around to give you a good fucking on the kitchen table."

"He's not interested in me like that, Alli."
Sherlock sighs. "You know I'm not... I'm not fond of that..."

He feels odd suddenly, shaking and a bit between Victor and Serbia... and maybe he does deserve it, but he doesn't... like it.

"I was merely pointing out the things you had in common, the things you might talk about, the way... people do. I am sorry about the peppers, I will remember next time, mi amore, I promise."

Edited 2017-03-09 16:42 (UTC)

Alli sighs and then seems to relax a little; "I'm sorry, mi amore. It is Nonna's birthday and I wanted to honour her memory by sharing her food with you...You can invite this friend of yours to dinner, if you wish. But ask him to find a sitter for the child. Please."

Sherlock nods. "Alright, I will."
He doesn't really want to. He likes Rosie, though.

"Bambini give me headaches. And remind me of bad things seen in war." Alli explains, looking troubled and darkened; "I wish you hadn't brought up these memories."

He puts his head in his hands, trembling a little.

"It's okay, Alli," Sherlock reaches for his hand, rubbing it in his palms in comfort. He doesn't ask Alli to explain, even though he's confused, because ... he saw Lylah die, and he almost died, but... his problems are nothing compared to Alli's.

He doesn't want to offend or not be sympathetic, or not be... what Alli needs him to be. Supportive.

Edited 2017-03-09 17:29 (UTC)

Alli smiles and takes Sherlock into his arms again, kissing him sweetly.

"Sweet amore." he whispers, "We were made for each other, don't you think?"

"I should think so," Sherlock says, kissing him back. "I am sorry such things bring you grief my sweetheart. I will not bring up such things again."

Will try to remember.
He puts Alli's hand right on his back. Vulnerable.

He kisses Sherlock's hand and then strokes his back.

"I know no one else understands. No one else can see how beautiful you are, scars and all." he whispers.

Sherlock nods. "I should think that's true." He nestles in Alli's arms, enjoying the feeling of safety that he had felt when Alli took him home the first time.

He's glad no one else understands.

Allessandro makes love to him that night, dominating but still somewhat generous, allowing Sherlock to come on his command. He will stroke his hair as his lover dozes off afterwards, probably a little sore, but Alli reminds him that's how good it's supposed to be.

John texts him the next day.

Fancy meeting up? Rosie is suggesting (aka demanding) ice cream.

He might see what Alli thinks of that, perhaps embellishing a little his role of godfather to the little girl. "You don't have to come, I won't do anything, John probably wants girlfriend advice. He's like that, you know."

He tries not to bring up Rosie by name, just mentioning that he's a responsible guardian.

He is a little sore, but ... Alli told him that was normal, so it probably is. He doesn't know, he hasn't had a good relationship like Alli... ever.

"Ah, he straight? Boring." He mimicks Sherlock a little and smirks. "You go have fun, if what you wish. Three of us have dinner tonight."

He kisses Sherlock's cheek.

"No need for surprise, tesoro. I trust you." he pats his bum before sending Sherlock off.

When they meet in the square, Rosie rushes up to Sherlock and presents him with a double scoop of chocolate fudge.

"Daddy said it's your favourite." she beams, vanilla all over her lips.

John is leaning against the wall, looking a bit nervous. He still does look good, even with his style having reverted. No more loose shirts. He's wearing something of a comfy 'dad' t-shirt for the heat.

Sherlock laughs "Clever Watson." He feels bad that Alli doesn't want her to come. But Alli says he trusts him. For once.

He feels like he has to do Alli proud and follow all the rules.
He licks his icecream.

He likes it.
John does look good.
Even if he is nervous. Maybe not tonight then. Sherlock will think about it.

They take Rosie to a park and John asks her to go play with the other kids because him and Sherlock have to talk about boring, grown up things. That's enough to put her off eavesdropping and she goes to try to communicate with one of the Italian girls her age.

John sits down on the bench; "Would you mind sitting with me?"

"I don't mind. Alli said he wouldn't mind if you came for dinner, just... children bother him because of his war experience. My guess is that he killed children in his war days and can't bear to be reminded but ... don't tell him so." Sherlock gives a fond smile.

"I am glad to see you doing so well."
I miss you. I wish I wasn't still in love with you. I am though.

John nods, not looking too bothered as Sherlock explains; "That's understandable. I wasn't too keen on children myself after what I witnessed. I guess having your own makes it different."

He smiles at Rosie as she takes turns on a swing with another girl, even though they barely understand each other.

"She's missed you. I didn't think she could but, after you left, every tantrum involved her screaming your name and squeezing that bee you got her. I wasn't much help either at the time..." John flexes his hand. "I tried calling you for days...until I noticed the remains of your phone in the fireplace. Mycroft was sure you were alive but couldn't get a bead on you. I guess something must have pointed him to Rome...You should let him know you're okay."

Edited 2017-03-09 21:32 (UTC)

Sherlock shrugs. "If he needs me, if England needs me then he'll come hunt me down, he always does."

It's only cause I'm not useful that he's leaving me be.

"I thought everyone would be better off if I removed myself from the situation. I also needed to get away."

"You mean...get away from me, right?" he says, shamefully; "Y'know I went over it in my head for weeks. At first I was so angry with you. I thought you'd had enough of me and Rosie. You just wanted things to be like they were before Mary and not have my daughter get in the way. I thought you were being selfish...But then I talked to Greg and he knocked some sense into me. Literally, he actually gave me a punch and told me to stop being such an arse. I...I had no idea until then."

He cups his hands and takes slow breaths. Don't bottle. Let it out. Be honest.

"I was...awful to you. And to Rosie. To everyone, really. I was a complete dickhead. I...just felt angry all the time, at every little thing. I realised that I'd pushed you away and, if I went on that way, Rosie would eventually run away too. So I talked to Ella about it and she put me on the anger management course along with some CBT. It's been going on a long time and...I'm not 'cured' or anything like that...but I try to be more aware now. I've taken more time off work so I can be with Rosie more often until she starts school. I visit Mrs. H for tea and go out with Greg. I'm...I think I'm getting better...I hope I am..."

He sounds smaller than before. More unsure and not putting up so many defenses.

"...But I've missed my best friend."

Sherlock's expression is unreadable.
He does not explain throwing his phone into the flames involved coming across the last blog entry and John's comments and remembering how angry John was at him, and perhaps he was angry at John back, and such a thought was unthinkable, and he had thrown the offending object as far from him as possible.

He doesn't know what to tell John, he does not know how to tell John that he shouldn't blame himself, that it's his fault, he's not exactly model relationship material and the best he can do is what he has now, and it's not... heaven but - it's better than being alone.

"So you'll come then, and you promise you won't discuss me returning to London, Alli ... Alli would be heartbroken you see." He can't leave the person that loves him again. He doesn't know how to talk about this, he feels very awkward.

"Yeah...I know how he would feel." John says quietly, wishing he hadn't said it all once the words have left.

You won't leave him but you left me. Twice.

"I wanna come. He sounds...interesting." He says, unsure; "So long as he makes you happy then he's good by me."

"He just can't have Rosie, there, that's all he asked of me..."
As though Alli asked very little of him. Sherlock thinks he does.

"I don't like asking John, but for his sake, you know."

He nods; "No, it's fine...There's a creche at the hotel, she'll be okay there...You might have to make it up to her, though. She was excited to meet the 'Handsome Man'." John smirks.

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